How do you do it

[Pekka]

.. take care of your family?

What I mean is, I often worry about my dad, he is in good health, super health considering all things, and I figure if nothing happens he has like 15.. maybe 20 years so he can live in his own house. But after that? I feel already that I can't push him to any eldery houses.. you should see some of them in here, they are like Guantanamo Bay. Visit him way too little, you know what's he going to do? Get his brains all numb, that's what, and sad. Get treated by understaffed, underpaid folks who have motivation problems and too little time per customer. I can't have that.

So I was thinking.. maybe, in 15 or 20 years, I have a steady job, I should have a family going on, I should live in a house. It's not customary in here anymore, but I think maybe I should take him in then. Live with us. It wouldn't be such a bad deal, get him his own room, and then just get a big ass TV and lots of hockey. He'd settle right in.

He would first fight it, but he'd want to come I'm sure. I feel it would be my duty. After all, he's given everything to me, why shouldn't I give just a little bit back? He'd live longer and be much happier, and I could sleep my nights too, knowing I gave back and did the right thing.

What do you guys think? I used to think there's no way in hell I would ever take my parents to live with me and my family, but now that I think about it these days? I don't trust the quality of care they give in those ... places. It's no trouble really, just one more mouth to feed, really. I don't know anyone who has this arrangement, that's how uncommon it is these days in here, it's just not done. But I think I want to do it and I know my dad would want it too, even though he would deny it at first.

[Japher]

maybe you should consult your dad
maybe he wouldn't want to live you, be a burden, etc.
Inlaw homes are nice, a little house attached to your house.
Also, homes aren't places we send old ppl to die anymore, they are social institutions that offer care that you may be unable to give.

[Pekka]

Like I said, we have Guantano Bay's. Unless of course you have the money. I've been in many, they are horrible places in here, most of them. No way he's going there.

That's right he wouldn't want to be a burden, but the fact is he wouldn't be a burden to extent that I would consider it holding anyone back. It's a burden, but it's a burden worth carrying.

[Japher]

I would wait until the situation presents itself. You never no where you might be. My grandma was in a very nice assisted living place and had a lot of friends. Perhaps the US has better places. And, since you'll be here then...

[Zkribbler]

Originally posted by Japher
maybe you should consult your dad
maybe he wouldn't want to live you, be a burden, etc.
Inlaw homes are nice, a little house attached to your house.
Also, homes aren't places we send old ppl to die anymore, they are social institutions that offer care that you may be unable to give.

You took the words right out of my mouth...which is very unsanitary.

[Japher]

why? where has your mouth been?

[Pekka]

If I'm there then, then he comes there with me. I'm not going against a nice place. You know, where it in fact is a social place where people of same age can do stuff, be social, and hang around and have the proper care taken. That would be very nice. But in here, no chance. I'm not taking that risk, like I said, I've been into them in here, and everyone is depressed, they look like hospital prisons, they are horrible, and no one gives a ****.

That's a place where my family members aren't going to go. That's a bigger mental burden than I'm willing to take, becasue then I'd have to a) worry about it every day or b) forget all about it. Neither of them are an option.

But it's not like I won't offer him the option to move in first and be persitent about it. Of course that means I do have a house and opportunity to have him. But if all I see is those depressing places where people go to die, be seriously depressed for few years before that and be neglected, then I will rob a bank and buy that house. People will suffer for it.

[Dauphin]

Book him a place at Hugh Hefner's Retirement Home.

[Japher]

People will suffer for it.

I'd expect nothing less

[Pekka]

Dauphin, ahh yes!!

[VetLegion]

I've thought about this same thing too. One grandmother of mine lives in the countryside, while the other who passed away a year ago was living with her children, a couple of months with each.

Now, affordable flats are pretty small here and all kinds of issues spring up when a nuclear family (mom, dad, kids) have grandparents in. The easiest way out is to put them in the retirement home, but I feel that's unfair.

[Zkribbler]

Originally posted by Japher
why? where has your mouth been?

[Agathon]

**** you Pekka.

I expected a Gerry and the Pacemakers appreciation thread... thanks for nothing you mook!!!

[MrFun]

Originally posted by Japher
why? where has your mouth been?

[Datajack Franit]

Guantanamo Bay