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Conspiracy REVEALED!

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  • #1

    Conspiracy REVEALED!

    I just came back from grocery store. I was minding my own business, I just wanted to buy some food. Is that too much to ask? I GUESS IT IS!!

    I found myself shaking my butt on this cheese section because something was on the radio. A little, not too much. Barely noticably.

    Then I suddenly went to the fruit section. YES! FRUIT SECTION... waiving my fingers subtly to the music. Then my alarms went off.. *LISTEN TO THE MUSIC* I heard a voice in my head.

    *clap clap clap* *clap clap clap* *clap clap clap clap clap clap clap*.. oh it's a clapping song...

    *NO! LISTEN TO THE MUSIC*

    Then I noticed, hey I know this song.. and the singing started and I knew them before it started..

    "They want you, they want you, they want you as a new recruit!"

    This is a GAY shop! Surely it is.. well camoflagued one. They actively tried to change my sexual orientation in that store, blatantly, without my agreement. You know I wished they had asked me if I want to turn before they made me go into the store.

    No wonder I was in the fruit section, there was all kinds of nasty hard cucumbers, and these red balls... what do you call them? Tomatos!.. Yes... just staring at you. You know cucumber speaking to you "Hello gorgeous.. shake that butt like you did earlier... ". SHUT UP CUCUMBER! SHUT UP FRUITS!


    I had to leave that section, and it was all nasty, because my eyes were now open. Toys for children, close to alcohol section conviniently etc etc... numerous examples. While the not so subtle song tries to recruit you.

    I barely made it out alive. I'm thinking of suing them.
    In da butt.
    "Do not worry if others do not understand you. Instead worry if you do not understand others." - Confucius
    THE UNDEFEATED SUPERCITIZEN w:4 t:2 l:1 (DON'T ASK!)
    "God is dead" - Nietzsche. "Nietzsche is dead" - God.
    Tags: None
  • #2
    Pekka, they're just trying to help you out of the closet!
    Tecumseh's Village, Home of Fine Civilization Scenarios

    www.tecumseh.150m.com

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    • #3
      They should start playing some good music in those stores.. like Joey Beltram etc.. you know, I'd like some minimalist techno ala Richie Hawtin. I don't care, you know if they can afford playing Village People in the Fruit Section, they can sure as hell play Richie Hawtin too.
      In da butt.
      "Do not worry if others do not understand you. Instead worry if you do not understand others." - Confucius
      THE UNDEFEATED SUPERCITIZEN w:4 t:2 l:1 (DON'T ASK!)
      "God is dead" - Nietzsche. "Nietzsche is dead" - God.

      Comment

      • #4
        minimal techno, you're such a trend whore!
        "The Christian way has not been tried and found wanting, it has been found to be hard and left untried" - GK Chesterton.

        "The most obvious predicition about the future is that it will be mostly like the past" - Alain de Botton

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        • #5
          what do you mean trend whore. I've been into minimal techno for years. I've seen Richie here live, years ago. Don't go talking stupid here C0ckney or I throw you into the gay store, the fruit section.
          In da butt.
          "Do not worry if others do not understand you. Instead worry if you do not understand others." - Confucius
          THE UNDEFEATED SUPERCITIZEN w:4 t:2 l:1 (DON'T ASK!)
          "God is dead" - Nietzsche. "Nietzsche is dead" - God.

          Comment

          • #6
            minimal techno is the new electro, which is the new progressive house, which is...etc.
            "The Christian way has not been tried and found wanting, it has been found to be hard and left untried" - GK Chesterton.

            "The most obvious predicition about the future is that it will be mostly like the past" - Alain de Botton

            Comment

            • #7
              I don't care. I've been into it before it became a trend, and it ain't trend here now either, so you know, you can go and play with cucumbers.
              In da butt.
              "Do not worry if others do not understand you. Instead worry if you do not understand others." - Confucius
              THE UNDEFEATED SUPERCITIZEN w:4 t:2 l:1 (DON'T ASK!)
              "God is dead" - Nietzsche. "Nietzsche is dead" - God.

              Comment

              • #8
                This thread makes me think that Pekka's not a freak after all, just a loner making up funny stories. The world is a little less magical now.
                Christianity: The belief that a cosmic Jewish Zombie who was his own father can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree...

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                • #9
                  Uh, Pekka, all those music styles are heavily associated with the gay urban scene...
                  Apolyton's Grim Reaper 2008, 2010 & 2011
                  RIP lest we forget... SG (2) and LaFayette -- Civ2 Succession Games Brothers-in-Arms

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                  • #10
                    che, no, what happened to me was in fact true and I'm not making it up. It was a gay convert store and I might sue them.
                    In da butt.
                    "Do not worry if others do not understand you. Instead worry if you do not understand others." - Confucius
                    THE UNDEFEATED SUPERCITIZEN w:4 t:2 l:1 (DON'T ASK!)
                    "God is dead" - Nietzsche. "Nietzsche is dead" - God.

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      Do you get a discount if you convert?
                      Apolyton's Grim Reaper 2008, 2010 & 2011
                      RIP lest we forget... SG (2) and LaFayette -- Civ2 Succession Games Brothers-in-Arms

                      Comment

                      • #12
                        I did not exactly ask that... I was in a hurry to get out. It was too horrible.
                        In da butt.
                        "Do not worry if others do not understand you. Instead worry if you do not understand others." - Confucius
                        THE UNDEFEATED SUPERCITIZEN w:4 t:2 l:1 (DON'T ASK!)
                        "God is dead" - Nietzsche. "Nietzsche is dead" - God.

                        Comment

                        • #13
                          In my day, we used mind altering chemicals and sleep deprivation to break down people and rebuild them as model gays. This new generation of recruiters is wimps I tell you.
                          Exult in your existence, because that very process has blundered unwittingly on its own negation. Only a small, local negation, to be sure: only one species, and only a minority of that species; but there lies hope. [...] Stand tall, Bipedal Ape. The shark may outswim you, the cheetah outrun you, the swift outfly you, the capuchin outclimb you, the elephant outpower you, the redwood outlast you. But you have the biggest gifts of all: the gift of understanding the ruthlessly cruel process that gave us all existence [and the] gift of revulsion against its implications.
                          -Richard Dawkins

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by chegitz guevara
                            This thread makes me think that Pekka's not a freak after all, just a loner making up funny stories. The world is a little less magical now.
                            Seriously Che, are you only just starting to understand that Pekka's outlandish posts aren't meant to be taken seriously? You should admire his imagination.
                            DISCLAIMER: the author of the above written texts does not warrant or assume any legal liability or responsibility for any offence and insult; disrespect, arrogance and related forms of demeaning behaviour; discrimination based on race, gender, age, income class, body mass, living area, political voting-record, football fan-ship and musical preference; insensitivity towards material, emotional or spiritual distress; and attempted emotional or financial black-mailing, skirt-chasing or death-threats perceived by the reader of the said written texts.

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                            • #15
                              che is a communist. My imagination pales comparing to his.
                              In da butt.
                              "Do not worry if others do not understand you. Instead worry if you do not understand others." - Confucius
                              THE UNDEFEATED SUPERCITIZEN w:4 t:2 l:1 (DON'T ASK!)
                              "God is dead" - Nietzsche. "Nietzsche is dead" - God.

                              Comment

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