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Ali G Appointed Immigration Minster

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  • Ali G Appointed Immigration Minster

    from the sun

    Lie back and think of England

    By ANTHONY FRANCE
    and PAUL THOMPSON

    A SEX for passports racket at Britain’s busiest immigration centre is exposed today by The Sun.

    Corrupt officials bed attractive girls desperate to avoid being kicked out of the country in return for granting them visas.

    Meanwhile “ugly” migrants risk having their applications rejected — and their pictures pinned on a wall for staff to laugh at.


    The scandal at Lunar House in Croydon, South London — which also processes applications by asylum seekers — was last night exposed by a whistleblower who quit in disgust.

    Former administration officer Anthony Pamnani told how one colleague joked after bedding a Turkish girl: “I gave her more than a visa extension, if you know what I mean.”

    Anthony, 23, who worked at Lunar House for four years, regularly saw colleagues dish out their phone numbers to sexy immigrants.

    He said: “One girl came in and told us an admin officer had visited her flat and they slept together. She got indefinite leave to stay.”

    He revealed how attractive asylum seekers would ask for officials by name at the Public Enquiry Office — which deals with all applications to stay in the country.

    Anthony said: “They knew what cars they drove and the registration numbers.

    “A Lebanese girl came into the office in a foul temper asking for one of the guys who worked there. He had recently moved to another department.

    “She told us that he’d promised to give her an extension to a visa and that they had slept together at her flat in Brighton.” He went on:

    Brazilian girls were treated best of all. If male and female Brazilian migrants came in to extend their visas, the guy would get one year and the girl two — even if both had the same level of paperwork. The girl would only have to smile, bend over the desk and she’d get longer. Officers used to say about ugly girls: “She’s bloody disgusting — let’s send her back anyway.”

    If an immigrant was ugly, several officers would leave their desks to go behind a screen and laugh at her passport picture. The photo would be copied and pinned up on a wall

    Anthony told how pretty girls would be seen within minutes while other migrants faced queuing for hours. And he said security checks were so lax terrorists could have sneaked into the country.

    Lunar House — where immigrants plead to stay in the UK — handles more than 300,000 cases a year.

    Admin officers there are paid £17,000 a year.

    Anthony, who claimed his complaints about corruption were ignored, said: “Every passport should be checked in case the person has previous convictions or is wanted in another country.

    Many times this was not done.

    “It was lazy because they only had to walk a few yards and swipe it through a computer reader.” He also revealed passports were left where they could easily be NICKED.

    Anthony said: “Dozens were left overnight in admin officers’ pigeon holes while migrants’ cases were being determined.

    “Someone could easily have stolen these. They would be worth hundreds on the black market.”

    The sex-for-asylum scandal is not the first to hit Lunar House. In 2003 The Sun’s Oliver Harvey made a fake claim for asylum by visiting the immigration centre and putting on an Eastern European accent.

    Posing as an illegal from Moldova, he claimed to have lost his passport and ID. After two interviews he was given ID in a bogus name, free accommodation, breakfast and bus tickets.

    Lunar House is the first port of call for many illegals, who queue outside the complex waiting to be questioned by interviewers.

    After passing through metal detectors, asylum seekers from every corner of the world are issued a ticket while they wait to be seen. Our man told how some staff at the centre appeared to be bored with their work.

    He gave his interviewers bogus addresses and telephone numbers which he made up on the spot.

    Staff gave him accommodation without making any checks. Anthony said he finally quit after bosses told staff to restrict migrants from India and let in more from Eastern Europe.

    He said: “I lost what remaining respect I had for the job.”

    Last night Home Office Minister Tony McNulty launched an urgent probe. He said: “These are serious allegations. Clearly I will not condone this type of behaviour.”

    The Home Office denied passports were routinely left at the Croydon office — insisting they were returned to applicants.

    A spokesman said: “The Public Enquiry Office deals with the vast majority of cases immediately. Relevant documents are photocopied and the originals are handed straight back to the owners.”
    aiiii
    "The Christian way has not been tried and found wanting, it has been found to be hard and left untried" - GK Chesterton.

    "The most obvious predicition about the future is that it will be mostly like the past" - Alain de Botton

  • #2
    Well, there has to be some selection criteria!

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    • #3
      To us, it is the BEAST.

      Comment


      • #4
        So some low -paid office drones use their power over attractive women to bed them. Wow I am shocked!!


        Actually the only thing that shocked me was that they would stupidly give the Barazialian girl a LONGER visa. Wouldn't you want to give her just 30 days so she has to come see you again??


        Seriously though-- this is wrong wrong wrong. many people are desparate and it is not right for these folks to be taken advantage of
        You don't get to 300 losses without being a pretty exceptional goaltender.-- Ben Kenobi speaking of Roberto Luongo

        Comment


        • #5
          Ah, another indepth report by The Sun
          Within weeks they'll be re-opening the shipyards
          And notifying the next of kin
          Once again...

          Comment


          • #6
            Seems like a well thought out immirgration policy. Britain has a strong national interest in having more hot chicks in the country. So applicants meeting that criteria get in. Ya know, like people with a lot of technical training are more likely to get in. Same thing.


            (btw, is Lunar House hiring? )
            Captain of Team Apolyton - ISDG 2012

            When I was younger I thought curfews were silly, but now as the daughter of a young woman, I appreciate them. - Rah

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            • #7
              This is what happens when English girls consider themselves too good for office peons.
              Why can't you be a non-conformist just like everybody else?

              It's no good (from an evolutionary point of view) to have the physique of Tarzan if you have the sex drive of a philosopher. -- Michael Ruse
              The Nedaverse I can accept, but not the Berzaverse. There can only be so many alternate realities. -- Elok

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              • #8
                They're trying to keep the ugly people out. In the long run that is good for the country. Lord knows they need all the help they can get.
                Try http://wordforge.net/index.php for discussion and debate.

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                • #9


                  Pay peanuts, you get monkeys.
                  Only feebs vote.

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                  • #10
                    you can't be against this, for real; britain really needs some hot chicas!!
                    "An archaeologist is the best husband a women can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her." - Agatha Christie
                    "Non mortem timemus, sed cogitationem mortis." - Seneca

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                    • #11
                      Well think about it. Brits already have enough ugly people. They need some attractive people to help out their gene pool.
                      Christianity: The belief that a cosmic Jewish Zombie who was his own father can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree...

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by chegitz guevara
                        Well think about it. Brits already have enough ugly people. They need some attractive people to help out their gene pool.
                        QFT. We should really have a good look at our own immigration policies, I haven't seen a hot Brazilian chic in almost a week.
                        He's got the Midas touch.
                        But he touched it too much!
                        Hey Goldmember, Hey Goldmember!

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                        • #13
                          "I work in IT so I'd be buggered without a computer" - Words of wisdom from Provost Harrison
                          "You can be wrong AND jewish" - Wiglaf :love:

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