Go Figure ...

[Gatekeeper]

So I'm at the mall today, on my usual Friday jaunt to the bookstore, music store and (God forbid ) Wal-Mart. I enjoy my two bison burgers at the food court (along with a turkey breast wrap) and go about my business ...

... only to realize I left my hat and gloves in the food court. So I go back, find out that the hat, but not the gloves, was turned into lost-and-found. Good God. Someone couldn't resist taking a pair of $10 gloves, but turned in the hat (they were together when I was eating)?!

Y'know, I hope his/her fingertips rot off. I really do.

Gatekeeper

[joncha]

How ugly is your hat?

[Gatekeeper]

It's a black Thinsulate cap. Who knows? Maybe it was too large for the pinhead who took my gloves to wear it.

Gatekeeper

[joncha]

Maybe he thought you had cooties.

[Gatekeeper]

Hmpfh. Those gloves were so efficient at keeping in heat, they'd leave my fingers sweaty. So the gloves stink, basically. I hope the bastard doesn't realize it until s/he's worn 'em a few times ... and realizes his/her fingertips are rotting off.

Gatekeeper

[Winston]

He has insulted your honour! You must demand satisfaction and challenge him to a duel!



Oh, wait.. he got away, that's right.

[Gatekeeper]

Hmpfh. Well, somebody had sticky fingers. And if my voodoo curse bears fruit, his or her fingertips will begin rotting off shortly.

In the meantime, I bought myself a new pair of ski gloves for $7.92 (sans tax) from Wal-Mart.

Gatekeeper

[Ecthy]

How does making his finger tips rot off sound?

[MrFun]

People who steal gloves but leave hats behind are terrorists.

[Dis]

Re: Go Figure ...

Originally posted by Gatekeeper
So I'm at the mall today, on my usual Friday jaunt to the bookstore, music store and (God forbid ) Wal-Mart. I enjoy my two bison burgers at the food court (along with a turkey breast wrap) and go about my business ...

... only to realize I left my hat and gloves in the food court. So I go back, find out that the hat, but not the gloves, was turned into lost-and-found. Good God. Someone couldn't resist taking a pair of $10 gloves, but turned in the hat (they were together when I was eating)?!

Y'know, I hope his/her fingertips rot off. I really do.

Gatekeeper

bison burger? Where in the hell did you order that from? what mall restaurant?

[Tuberski]

Originally posted by Gatekeeper
It's a black Thinsulate cap. Who knows? Maybe it was too large for the pinhead who took my gloves to wear it.

Gatekeeper

You ate two burgers and a turkey wrap, if that's your normal meal, then I'd say, yes, your hat is too big for him.

ACK!

[Gatekeeper]

Bison meat is low in fat content — each patty has 2 grams. And the TB wrap is low-carb, with only tomatoes, mustard, lettuce and a smattering of low-fat mayonnaise sauce for condiments.

Long story short, my eating habits can't be too bad — my physical was Friday, and I dropped 10 pounds in three months (that's on top of the 42 pounds I've shed since changing my ways back in November 2002).

So eat that, Tubers!

Gatekeeper

P.S. And Dis? Yes, the bison meat is available at a locally owned mall restaurant. The proprietor buys the meat from an area farm that raises bison for slaughter. The only drawback? Bison burgers ain't cheap!

[KrazyHorse]

Originally posted by Gatekeeper
It's a black Thinsulate cap. Who knows? Maybe it was too large for the pinhead who took my gloves to wear it.

Gatekeeper

The most likely explanation is that he already owned a hat.

Also, it is most likely that a person other than the glove thief is the one who turned in the hat.

[Sikander]

Originally posted by Winston
He has insulted your honour! You must demand satisfaction and challenge him to a duel!



Oh, wait.. he got away, that's right.

And he has no gloves to slap his opponent.

[Sikander]

Bison should be pretty inexpensive, at least it is here. They often run a special at the local butcher on bison sirloin for $11 a pound. It's really high quality meat and even cheaper than beef sirloin. I really love it.