You're Straight, but Gays are after you.

[FrostyBoy]

Is anyone else here having a problem with gay men coming after you?

Back in NZ, I had a gay 40+ year old asking me to go travelling with him across the state. This is the first time this has ever happened to me, it took me about half an hour to realise why he was asking me!

Then, in Singapore, down Orchard Road, another gay waves at me, one of those gurly under your chin waves. I got sickness shivers down my back spine, I quickly got up and left the area.

This year in Singapore again, I am sitting on the back seat bus (double decker), (the bus is heavily populated btw), suddenly, this Malaysian guy (30+) gets up from his seat and sits near me (yknow how those back seats are one long seat?), he then proceeds to shift closer and closer to me every 1 minute. That's when I freak out and decide to get off the bus 5 stops early.

I am getting sick of this, is anyone else having this problem? I want to grow a beard or something!! (But my gf is afraid of that!). Then again, I would look funny with a beard, I am 26 but I look 21.

Oh and for the record, now I know how girls feel about men doing those same sort of things to them. It IS creepy! Now I understand!

[DRoseDARs]

You aren't the only one with this problem...

Why Do All These Homosexuals Keep Sucking My ****?

By Bruce Heffernan
July 6, 2005 | Issue 41•27

Look, I'm not a hateful person or anything—I believe we should all live and let live. But lately, I've been having a real problem with these homosexuals. You see, just about wherever I go these days, one of them approaches me and starts sucking my ****.

Take last Sunday, for instance, when I casually struck up a conversation with this guy in the health-club locker room. Nothing fruity, just a couple of fellas talking about their workout routines while enjoying a nice hot shower. The guy looked like a real man's man, too—big biceps, meaty thighs, thick neck. He didn't seem the least bit gay. At least not until he started sucking my ****, that is.

Where does this queer get the nerve to suck my ****? Did I look gay to him? Was I wearing a pink feather boa without realizing it? I don't recall the phrase, "Suck my ****" entering the conversation, and I don't have a sign around my neck that reads, "Please, You Homosexuals, Suck My ****."

I've got nothing against homosexuals. Let them be free to do their gay thing in peace, I say. But when they start sucking my ****, I've got a real problem.

Then there was the time I was hiking through the woods and came across a rugged-looking, blond-haired man in his early 30s. He seemed straight enough to me while we were bathing in that mountain stream, but, before you know it, he's sucking my ****!

What is it with these homos? Can't they control their sexual urges? Aren't there enough gay cocks out there for them to suck on without them having to target normal people like me?

Believe me, I have no interest in getting my **** sucked by some queer. But try telling that to the guy at the beach club. Or the one at the video store. Or the one who catered my wedding. Or any of the countless other homos who've come on to me recently. All of them sucked my ****, and there was nothing I could do to stop them.

I tell you, when a homosexual is sucking your ****, a lot of strange thoughts go through your head: How the hell did this happen? Where did this fairy ever get the idea that I was gay? And where did he get those fantastic boots?

It screws with your head at other times, too. Every time a man passes me on the street, I'm afraid he's going to grab me and drag me off to some bathroom to suck my ****. I've even started to visualize these repulsive ****-sucking episodes during the healthy, heterosexual marital relations I enjoy with my wife—even some that haven't actually happened, like the sweaty, post-game locker-room tryst with Vancouver Canucks forward Mark Messier that I can't seem to stop thinking about.

Things could be worse, I suppose. It could be women trying to suck my ****, which would be adultery and would make me feel tremendously guilty. As it is, I'm just angry and sickened. But, believe me, that's enough. I don't know what makes these homosexuals mistake me for a guy who wants his **** sucked, and, frankly, I don't want to know. I just wish there were some way to get them to stop.

I've tried all sorts of things, but it's all been to no avail. A few months back, I started wearing an intimidating-looking black leather thong with menacing metal studs in the hopes that it would frighten those ******s off, but it didn't work. In fact, it only seemed to encourage them. Then, I really started getting rough, slapping them around whenever they were sucking my ****, but that failed, too. Even pulling out of their mouths just before ejaculation and shooting sperm all over their face, chest, and hair seemed to have no effect. What do I have to do to get the message across to these swishes?

I swear, if these homosexuals don't take a hint and quit sucking my **** all the time, I'm going to have to resort to drastic measures—like maybe pinning them down to the cement floor of the loading dock with my powerful forearms and working my **** all the way up their butt so they understand loud and clear just how much I disapprove of their unwelcome advances. I mean, you can't get much more direct than that.

[Bugs ****ing Bunny]

Re: You're Straight, but Gays are after you.

Originally posted by Sn00py
Then, in Singapore, down Orchard Road, another gay waves at me, one of those gurly under your chin waves. I got sickness shivers down my back spine

You big poof.

[molly bloom]

Re: You're Straight, but Gays are after you.

Originally posted by Sn00py
Is anyone else here having a problem with gay men coming after you?

Yes, but it's not a 'problem' for me, so I don't mind.

Then, in Singapore, down Orchard Road, another gay waves at me, one of those gurly under your chin waves. I got sickness shivers down my back spine, I quickly got up and left the area.

Your 'back spine' ? As opposed to what ? Perhaps it's just that I'm unfamiliar with the evolution of the anatomy of the heterosexual male, but do they now have 'front spines' too ?

I want to grow a beard or something!!

Yeah, like that'll work:

That was followed by the "Bear Clubs" entry, a trailer with beer-belly men dancing for the crowd.

I'm sure glad all us gay boys have such brave manly straight men protecting us.

[DRoseDARs]

God, I want you Sn00py. You're being a naughty boy, come to my room...

[binTravkin]

They want to convert you!

[MrFun]

The next time you're so outraged at being cruised by a gay guy, beat him to unconsciousness, then tie him to a barbed wire fence in cold weather.

[Theben]

Maybe you shouldn't wear those tight-fitting jeans anymore.

[Mr. Harley]

Snoopy - just get over it, you're SEXY. Just to the wrong people.

BTW, I have been hit on, and then forced into a transfer by a bi-supervisor (I was much younger and didn't know how to file sexual harrassment) and had another gay guy take multiple not-so-subtle hints that I was not interested in a BJ (I made the terrible mistake of saying I would try anything once - now I add "almost"). That was one bad actor, and one jerk, out of I cannot count how many gay men I've known. Their record has been pretty good (now that I'm a middle-aged bear instead of a trim athlete, and also married, the problem has corrected itself - sort of like it does for women).

Oh, and that story is obviously bogus.

[OzzyKP]

pssh, its been done already Mr Fun, he needs to think of new, creative ways to deal with it.


I was in Rome back in high school with my parents, we spent a week and a half in Italy seeing the sights. One night I (amazingly) was allowed to venture off on my own to check out the Spanish Steps. When we were at Planet Hollywood earlier that night we talked to some American students who invited me to come hang out with them that night.

So I went out there on my own, saw the spanish steps, it was really cool. Lots of young people just hanging out, playing music, talking, drinking. Nothing like this would hae been allowed in the US. It was cool. One guy came up to me and started reading my shirt.

I bought a shirt there that translates dirty phrases between English and Italian.

So this guy keeps reading my shirt, laughing and saying stuff. I keep smiling and nodding, thinking "oh yea, its a funny shirt, hehe" After a bit of this another guy comes up to us and asks me if I know what he's saying. I say no.

He explains the other guy wants to suck my dick.

I got the hell out of there.

[Flubber]

Funny thread.

I've been hit on by gay guys occasionally but its never a problem. You say "no, not interested" and they move on quickly. Its not like they would have a lot of trouble finding a willing partner.

[SpencerH]

So you're wondering why you're setting off gaydar?

Is this a trick/rhetorical question?

[Flubber]

Originally posted by SpencerH
So you're wondering why you're setting off gaydar?

IN his case its probably because he is SO INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE .

[SpencerH]

You missed the real reason.

[Pekka]

maybe they know something you don't?

You have to be like some women are when they are nasty. You let them take you out, yuo go out, HE pays, you go to see a movie, HE pays, he buys you gifts and stuff, and the first time he tries to molest you, don't let him, and tell him to never call again and disappear.