How many red flags do you have?

[Ted Striker]

Originally posted by Ecthy
Whining, there I'm proven right. Most of those red flags are outright abuse, aggression and stuff. The others are just whining, but I can only repeat: what the hell are you guys doing to your women?

YUP

[Ted Striker]

Originally posted by Rufus T. Firefly
One definitely, two possibly; I'll vote two to be sure.

But regarding rebounds: I met my wife while my then-7-year-relationship was in its death throes, and started dating her only a month after my ex moved out; my wife, for her part, was not yet divorced and had only been legally separated for 4 months or so. So we were both on the rebound -- and have been together for 13 happy years. I just don't buy that 1.5 year time limit.

A perfect example of what I was talking about.



This red flag list is stupid.

(No offense Jon Miller you are still the man).

[Ted Striker]

Originally posted by Dr Strangelove
I wonder why she left out gimps and cripples? It must have been an oversight.

[Sikander]

Originally posted by chegitz guevara
It is not true that men don't change.

In fact it is more true that men do change a lot after 16 years of age than her mother's assertion that they don't change at all.

[Sikander]

Originally posted by Dr Strangelove
Yeah, about that #54, does she have any proof that psychotherapy helps at all? It's been shown by study after study that psychotherapy/ behavioral therapy is virtually worthless except in the treatment of a few disorders such as simple phobias. Really she's condemning a segment of the population to loneliness and isolation. Furthermore it should be pointed out that women can also be abusers and that women who were abused as children also often become abusers.

I wonder why she left out gimps and cripples? It must have been an oversight.

Yes her "damaged goods" assertion is pathetic and frankly misanthropic.

[Sikander]

I notice that a lot of these red flags have to do with abusive / manipulative traits. These are common enough, but for one person or even a small group of people to have personally witnessed / experienced so many suggests to me that this person / these persons are products of an abusive / manipulative environment themselves and attract and / or are attracted to their counterparts in the sick abuse / co-dependency dance.

It also appears likely that they are in complete denial about it (probably abetted in this by some radical lesbian women's shelter philosophies or shabby clueless therapists) and unwilling to even look at themselves realistically much less change, and have become increasingly frustrated and bitter after quixotically beating their heads against a brick wall for several decades. It couldn't happen to a more heartless group of b!tches.

[loinburger]

Most of the "he's a douchebag, better dump him" red flags are sound advice. Most of the "he might turn out to be a douchebag, better dump him just to be on the safe side" red flags are ridiculous.

[loinburger]

It also makes no sense to say that men won't change after 16, and to then insist on at least a decade of therapy for childhood trauma. In other words, "don't date a guy who didn't start therapy at or before age 6."

[Dry]

Originally posted by Spiffor
If so, the woman who follows the list is sure to be single for her whole life.

That's why I would advice anyone - male or female - who hasn't read their front page attentively to re-read it:

"Has HBI got you all hot under the collar? Before you run off in a snit, ready to send email detailing the extent of your ire, look up the words "irony", "satire" and "caricature" in the dictionary.... "

[Pekka]

Yeah they just try to make excuses for their stupid things. Idiots.

[Spiffor]

Originally posted by Dry
"Has HBI got you all hot under the collar? Before you run off in a snit, ready to send email detailing the extent of your ire, look up the words "irony", "satire" and "caricature" in the dictionary.... "

Yup. The writers might not have been too serious about the list (though it seems many contributors to the site are bitter women). But the female reader who takes the list as gospel should expect a very very sad sentimental life.