My Big Fat Finnish Wedding

[Pekka]

Yeah I got invited to wedding...

It's a friend from school... I mean like years back. I don't know why they want me there. I don't want to go. But I think I should since I'm invited so.. I should go, right?

This prolly means they don't have any friends and I'll see some other old school buddies there as well. I'm not particularly happy about that. Not that there was problems, I just feel like not wanting to catch up with anyone.

Also I should get a date there, and that's like Duh.. 'Hey I noticed your round a.. green eyes and .. would oyu like to go to wedding with me, hey free food and booze?'. Or maybe I should play a joke and get some friend of mine, we both put on nice suits and pretend were actually couple. I mean like a gay couple. Make everyone uncomfortable. Maybe they'll scream blasphemy and make us run for it, with plastic plates filled with food in our hands and car keys ready to start the car and flee.

I don't know. Which way should I go? It sounds boring times anyway.

[VetLegion]

@ gay couple

Why do you need a date to go to a wedding?

[VetLegion]

BTW., here in Croatia the custom is to give money to the couple, sometimes presents, but money is preffered. Then, after the wedding, they take it out of envelopes, count it, mark down how much they got from whom, and usually it is enough to give the new couple some breathing room, or starting point. Maybe downpayment for a car, or a house loan or something...

[Pekka]

I don't need a date to go to wedding but it says that me plus one so I shouldn't go alone, plus everyone else is going to be there with companion anyway I figure... so I don't need to go there alone, they'd be all pimping their daughters and sisters to me and that would be uncomfortable.

Yeah in here you can buy gifts, usually they might register to some store and so you go there and they let you knwo what they want etc.. .so no one buys two times the same or something crappy.. or money..

But I need a partner because I don't want to go alone, I mean with partner I can always blame them if I need to leave earlier, I can always talk with my partner instead of some stupid person who is stupid and boring.

You know.. like backup. Cops don't go alone into buildings unless the backup is far away and they need to go.

[VetLegion]

they'd be all pimping their daughters and sisters to me and that would be uncomfortable.

It's a good feeling.

Yeah, if it says a date, you have to go with a date. Btw., I've never been to a wedding, so I can't really give you useful advice. I'd go though, I can tell you that.

[BlackCat]

Oh, I really feel sorry for you, Pekka. You are probably right about them not having any friends since they are so desperate that they invite you, and I really understand that you don't wan't to meet your old schoolbuddies - it can't be fun to be reminded how thay made your childhood miserable.



If you don't want - don't, though your suggestion about making a joke pretending being gay could cheer it all up - just don't suggest a visit to a sauna

[Pekka]

I've been to bunch of weddings. I've also been into one traditional wedding that ended with 4 guys fighting with fists in the air, drunk as hell, and everyone else trying to make them stop, including the bride. I was a kid then so I didn't understand what was happening but .. that's what happens in traditional Finnish weddings.

I would say I'm busy or that I can't come but I did get a letter so.. you know it's difficult to say no.. it woudl be rude.

[VetLegion]

Now, BlackCat, about Iraq, where were we...

[Pekka]

yeah but the idea if I go with male friend is not to reveal it's a joke. Or be super flamers.. like real thing .. that would be funny. To me. Numero uno. The center of the globe.

[VetLegion]

Pekka, did you witness the case where the bride and the best man had sex and got stuck? I swear, I heard about it from three different first account witnesses so far, so I am wondering is it happening in Finland too

[VetLegion]

Originally posted by Pekka
yeah but the idea if I go with male friend is not to reveal it's a joke. Or be super flamers.. like real thing .. that would be funny. To me. Numero uno. The center of the globe.

And then you come home and there are like ten calls "hey, you too? Man I'm so glad, I always kept it secret but now... cofee?"

[Pekka]

got stuck? Haven't heard that one...

hey it's OK.. hetero guys fall in love with me all the time. I'm like the biggest target of man hugs. They all want to touch me always. I'm not kidding. I guess I make everyone feel safe with my presence. Or afraid. Depends if they are criminals or not.

I'm the daddy. You know.. even for guys. They feel like they're kids and with their daddy when they're with me. I know this. Girls do too. Except if they had bad daddy relationship, they are weird with me. Kids love me too. And animals.. especially animals. I gain everyones trust in 10 seconds. That is good, makes it easier to kill them. All of them.

[VetLegion]

[BlackCat]

Originally posted by VetLegion
Now, BlackCat, about Iraq, where were we...

Well, it's you that I'm waiting on - you haven't answered my last posting in the Norwegian thread - or do you suggest that we hijack this tread too

[VetLegion]

got stuck? Haven't heard that one...

The story goes: they (the bride and the best man) had been drinking so at one point they had sex in the toilet and someone grabbed the doorhandle. The bride panicked, "locked" her legs and they had to get an ambulance to separate them. It's a very persistent urban legend around here.