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  • #1

    SHould I apply for this job?

    NewsMax Media Inc. headquartered in West Palm Beach for more than five years continues to grow at an outstanding rate. We offer multiple ground breaking publishing products and merchandise including a high traffic news site, monthly magazine, newsletters, books, audio tapes, apparel, framed artwork and many other items.

    We are seeking a webmaster / web application developer to join our team of successful information technology experts.

    NewsMax Media publishes NewsMax Magazine reaching 350,000 readers monthly as well as NewsMax.com with over 10 million visitors per month.


    Position Description:
    The candidate will assist the existing web application development team in creating online promotional websites and landing pages. Typical responsibilities include, but are not limited to:

    * Use DreamWeaver and ColdFusion for the creation of landing pages for online marketing promotions
    * Optimizing images for web and email
    * Formatting HTML for marketing email campaigns
    * Proof-reading content for online and email communications
    * General web design and layout improvements
    * Assisting in continued development of eCommerce programming

    Minimum Position Requirements:

    * At least two years solid experience in web design and web application development
    * Highly proficient with ColdFusion MX programming and DreamWeaver MX
    * Skilled in JavaScript and HTML required; Use of Perl and XML a plus
    * Experience with relational database design and use (Microsoft SQL preferred)
    * Skilled in Photoshop and Image Ready for image manipulation
    * Minimum High School Diploma or GED equivalent
    * Verifiable references
    * Basic networking and computing training in a Windows environment
    * Available to work after hours and weekends, as required.
    * Dedicated to exceeding quality standards and providing service of the highest caliber
    * Excellent multi-tasking skills. Prioritizes and performs a variety of concurrent tasks with minimal direction.
    * Familiar with Windows 2000 and Windows Server 2003
    * Microsoft Active Directory, DNS, IIS configuration a plus

    Send Your Info to:
    Qualified candidates should submit their resume, cover letter, and salary requirements by emailing them to: jobs@newsmax.com No calls, faxes, or in-person visits, please.

    Travel required: none
    Telecommute: no


    Leave aside the fact I can't do ColdFusion.
    Christianity: The belief that a cosmic Jewish Zombie who was his own father can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree...
    Tags: None
  • #2
    DEFINETLY!
    urgh.NSFW

    Comment

    • #3
      how can you leave aside a major requirement for the job
      Space is big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind- bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the chemist's, but that's just peanuts to space.
      Douglas Adams (Influential author)

      Comment

      • #4
        Do it for communism!
        I will never understand why some people on Apolyton find you so clever. You're predictable, mundane, and a google-whore and the most observant of us all know this. Your battles of "wits" rely on obscurity and whenever you fail to find something sufficiently obscure, like this, you just act like a 5 year old. Congratulations, molly.

        Asher on molly bloom

        Comment

        • #5
          If you can't hack a major requirement of the job, why would you want to waste both of your time?
          I make no bones about my moral support for [terrorist] organizations. - chegitz guevara
          For those who aspire to live in a high cost, high tax, big government place, our nation and the world offers plenty of options. Vermont, Canada and Venezuela all offer you the opportunity to live in the socialist, big government paradise you long for. –Senator Rubio

          Comment

          • #6
            YES
            "I have been reading up on the universe and have come to the conclusion that the universe is a good thing." -- Dissident
            "I never had the need to have a boner." -- Dissident
            "I have never cut off my penis when I was upset over a girl." -- Dis

            Comment

            • #7
              Originally posted by Spiffor
              YES
              Why? See my last post for more info.
              I make no bones about my moral support for [terrorist] organizations. - chegitz guevara
              For those who aspire to live in a high cost, high tax, big government place, our nation and the world offers plenty of options. Vermont, Canada and Venezuela all offer you the opportunity to live in the socialist, big government paradise you long for. –Senator Rubio

              Comment

              • #8
                Originally posted by DinoDoc
                If you can't hack a major requirement of the job,
                DD doesn't get it. Neither does theStinger.
                Christianity: The belief that a cosmic Jewish Zombie who was his own father can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree...

                Comment

                • #9
                  @DD, Stinger.
                  urgh.NSFW

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    Originally posted by chegitz guevara
                    DD doesn't get it. Neither does theStinger.
                    Do you routinely apply for jobs you can not handle?
                    I make no bones about my moral support for [terrorist] organizations. - chegitz guevara
                    For those who aspire to live in a high cost, high tax, big government place, our nation and the world offers plenty of options. Vermont, Canada and Venezuela all offer you the opportunity to live in the socialist, big government paradise you long for. –Senator Rubio

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      This reminds me of the kuci selfpwning.
                      urgh.NSFW

                      Comment

                      • #12
                        This reminds me of the kuci selfpwning.


                        Indeed. yet another stunning defeat for the AECCP
                        "I have been reading up on the universe and have come to the conclusion that the universe is a good thing." -- Dissident
                        "I never had the need to have a boner." -- Dissident
                        "I have never cut off my penis when I was upset over a girl." -- Dis

                        Comment

                        • #13
                          This is a joke. On the other hand, Cold Fusion shouldn't take more than a week to learn.
                          “It is no use trying to 'see through' first principles. If you see through everything, then everything is transparent. But a wholly transparent world is an invisible world. To 'see through' all things is the same as not to see.”

                          ― C.S. Lewis, The Abolition of Man​

                          Comment

                          • #14
                            Originally posted by DinoDoc
                            Do you routinely apply for jobs you can not handle?
                            (newsmax)
                            "The issue is there are still many people out there that use religion as a crutch for bigotry and hate. Like Ben."
                            Ben Kenobi: "That means I'm doing something right. "

                            Comment

                            • #15
                              Originally posted by pchang
                              This is a joke. On the other hand, Cold Fusion shouldn't take more than a week to learn.


                              Yeah, from what I remember, CF is exceedingly easy to learn. I just wish I had a CF server to practice on.
                              Christianity: The belief that a cosmic Jewish Zombie who was his own father can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree...

                              Comment

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