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Review a paper of mine ( topic is chemistry, btw )

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  • #46
    The spelling of 'biopharmaceutical' on page 2 (section I)is incorrect.
    Good so far, pleased you have mentioned the nature of antibodies and their affinity for transition state analogues.
    'unselectively' spelt incorrectly on page 2 (section III).
    'essence' spelt incorrectly on page 3 (section IV). Also further 'Here we can easily one of the...' - looks like that should read 'Here we can easily see one of the'.
    Spelling of 'molecule', page 3 (section V)
    Spelling of 'remedies', page 3 (section VI)
    Aquatic phase? Should this read aqueous phase? page 3 (section VII)
    IIRC, the spelling is 'hapten' (section IX), also misspelling of 'polarised'.
    I'll take your word for it on the synthesis of your hapten, that mechanism looks horrendous
    Spelling is 'niche' (section XI)

    Yeah, very good
    Speaking of Erith:

    "It's not twinned with anywhere, but it does have a suicide pact with Dagenham" - Linda Smith

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    • #47
      Originally posted by Jonny
      After a brief look at the first page... I'll echo the general statement that the paper is a bit wordy and unwieldy. Some sentences are too long. Avoiding passive voice would eliminate some of the wordiness and make the paper somewhat easier to read (not to mention that it's considered good form to avoid the passive voice and use of "to be" whenever possible).

      For example, I'd rewrite the first sentence of the intro as follows (you misspelled biopharmaceutical, btw) :

      The constantly increasing importance of carbohydrates, specifically oligosaccharides, in biopharmaceutical and biotechnological solutions has created a demand for new synthetic tools to manipulate them in various methods.
      Ah, I don't involve myself with bollocks like the layout of the words
      Speaking of Erith:

      "It's not twinned with anywhere, but it does have a suicide pact with Dagenham" - Linda Smith

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      • #48
        Passive voice
        Concrete, Abstract, or Squoingy?
        "I don't believe in giving scripting languages because the only additional power they give users is the power to create bugs." - Mike Breitkreutz, Firaxis

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        • #49
          I'll take your word for it on the synthesis of your hapten, that mechanism looks horrendous


          Man, the only part in which your opinion actually counted....

          urgh.NSFW

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