3 hours of Eternity

[Pekka]

Jesus died for our sins and resurrected to heaven. How long did it last? How long were the hours of the torment? How much does it hurt to be crucified? I had my fly open as I was taking my annual pretend-leak. How long does a real leak last until it becomes an obvious pretend-leak? Is 5 minutes too long? Why do I open my fly when taking pretend-leak? These questions remained unanswered until my aunt stormed in to the bathroom.

For stuck up people, they are surprisingly brave, or in grave emergency to get in here with me the same time. I guess in some unconscious level I knew this was a realistic possibility and the opened zipper tactic paid off. Who the hell has two toilets in the same bathroom anyway?

I quickly pulled my zipper up and washed my hands. Busted. I can't pretend-leak anymore. I have to go back. I walked back to the table and made the subtle 'ahh' sound as I sat down. My pretend-leak was polished and perfect.

I didn't even force a smile or have the urge to say anything, or find out what the topic of discussion was in the time I was away. I was in my own world, trying to survive. I wondered why some DJ sets included a playlist file, since the music file itself was only one file. Why would I need a playlist file to choose the actual one file? Why would I save 911 to my mobile phone, because it would take me more or exactly 3 pushes of buttons to dial 911. Faster way would be to dial 911 directly.

I wondered if I look more sad than last year. Maybe a bit fatter? I wondered who has gained the most weight this year. Judging from the way people ate their Christmas Dinner, one would have had to guess everyone had lost weight. But that wasn't true. Who says depressed people lose weight anyway? Who thinks Jay Leno's opening jokes for his late night show are actually funny? I wonder how much his hair cut costs and does he ever wear the same suit twice in his shows. Does he get to keep the suits?

I'm in my own world of survival mode, desperately trying to keep on going and not kill someone. or just let it all out and walk away. I don't hate the people in the table.. I just.. I wonder how much it hurt to be crucified?

..continues.. (true story)

[Combat Ingrid]

Pretend-leak?

[BlackCat]

Originally posted by Pekka
I feel this is typical for polyton.. no one gives a crap that Turkey has had series of bombings now (well at least 2), no threads.

Bush farts in private, 10 threads.

Counter: People die every day. We can't get depressed about it and dwell on it newbie!1 Now gimme news, like Britney hitting it with backup dancer! WHAT? She's NOT virgin? That's breaking news to me and of great interest.

[Pekka]

It was time for another round of eating the same food. Who wants more? I know I don't. But I don't want to be the only one not taking the second round. It's impolite. The first round you eat like a horse. You don't talk much, because you stuff your mouth full of food, exception being the mandatory few complimentaries. Mmm.. the peas are really good... Ohh the ham is great! The hostess now tells us all how it was nothing and she loved doing it anyway. A lie. A Las Vegas Lie. That's the type of lie where you are taken into the desert, you dig a hole, and the one with the gun says it's going to be OK if you dig a little more deeper, to fit your size. She also prepared the food, knowing she was making her own grave.

Sadism.

I know she had to think about poisoning the food at least twice during the whole process. About now is the time we all say in subtle ways how it wasn't true, that it must have been a great task taking much effort. The first round is always the easiest, even though it's like getting guilliotine jam while the rusty blade is only half way your neck and it manages the block most of the blood escaping your body, giving you releaving you from the realisation of pain. It's the second round that's worse.

[Pekka]

BlackCat, this is the reason why you are a butthole. You start trolling when serious art is happening, freestyle story telling.

[BlackCat]

Originally posted by Pekka
BlackCat, this is the reason why you are a butthole. You start trolling when serious art is happening, freestyle story telling.

Sorry I exposed your hypocricy. Please, Master of the Art, continue your exposure - I shall not interfere if I can resist - currently, I'm ROFL'ing too much to make an appropriate answer .

[Combat Ingrid]

I didn't celebrate christmas with my family for over ten years now. I always visit them a week or so later, they are much more relaxed by then. Much better to spend christmas with a few good friends and some beer and glögg

[SlowwHand]

Pekka, is all that post drug induced?
What the Hell....

[Kidlicious]

Good stuff Pekka

[Pekka]

please resist. I'm sorry, go make the thread about Turkey. If you have the time, get back into the real world and understand the word hypocricy and what it means, and that your trolling is not appreciated in this thread. If you don't take a hint, please God make it as painful as possible. If you don't give a crap about my christmas story then be polite and stfu, but like real *******s, I find it hard to believe you actually are able to do that. Surprise me?

------------------------------------------------------------

The once a year get together is always made more difficult than any other event. It includes your dysfunctional family which members don't want to associate with each other, and yet they somehow feel obligated to come and show up every single Christmas. It's a tradition, a tradition of pain. But I guess it fits the theme.

Younger cousins have already mastered in avoiding the event. Some of them are with their girl/boyfriends for the dinner, surprisingly enough they always choose the 'other family' to visit for the tradition. I wonder why ours isn't the big hit. So few of the cousins are on and off visitors. Singles come. Divorcees come. What a lovely bunch. Singles come just to remind themselves why they don't want to get married in the first place. Seeing the bitter divorcees year after year is a gift worth more than gold.

Divorcees come because otherwise they wouldn't have anyone to enjoy the dinner with. This however, is the whole family in its full numbers.

The only reason I even bother to come is not to get excited from all the uncomfortable situations, discussions and to witness the destruction of the family, but to obey my grandads wishes, because it is the only time he gets to see us all, and he is getting older every year. I don't know if we are all pretending for the same reason. I wonder when it's his time to go if we ever get together again.

[Pekka]

Sloww, no, this is actually very real

[Combat Ingrid]

Originally posted by Pekka
Singles come just to remind themselves why they don't want to get married in the first place. Seeing the bitter divorcees year after year is a gift worth more than gold.

[SlowwHand]

I'd prefer the drugs.

Hang in there.

[Pekka]

Sloww, d on't worry I'm used to it already and look the positive on it .. it's not like I'm depressed about this all.. I'm not depressed to begin with. I'm hoping to catch few others with the same traidition of pain to give them few laughs when they recognize things .

-----------------------------------------

I'm personally not very good with umcomfortable situations. When there's an event that is guaranteed to give me uncomfort, I'm thinking every situation into the pool of excuses how to get out. Every year I think of an excuse that would be legit to not go. I'd rather spent the Christmas alone, without the dinner and food, staring the wall. I've done it before. It was more fun. But I would never forgive myself if grandpa wouldn't get to have one more dinner with the whole family if I skipped the last one. I guess I'm trapped.

He is about the only sane adult in the room. I wonder if he senses the destruction. I think he knows.. maybe he pretends too. But at least he is genuinely happy to see everyone. Unlike the rest of us. Aside my grandpa, one of my cousins is my rock. He always shows up and he's a good friend of mine and we keep in touch, go out, hang out and so on. He is the bravest one in the room, because he talks to everyone, starts small talk, is polite and doesn't talk behind anyones back. Until we get alone outside, sneaking for a smoke.

I dont' even know why we sneak for a smoke, it's not like they don't know we smoke. We don't hide the smell of smoking when we get back. Maybe it's the same reason we still come to the event. It's impolite not to. It's impolite to smoke. We are polite people.

I know the real reason though. It's because no one wants to open the box of deep trauma. It would end up ugly. Maybe even in fight. It's only few hours more.. no scenes, it's only once a year.. just act polite damn it! No one dares to drink alcohol. It would get ugly sooner than later.

But for the same reason I think my cousin is the bravest, I also hate him for it, because it makes me look more like a bastard. Then again, I'm not the only one.

[BlackCat]

Originally posted by Pekka
please resist. I'm sorry, go make the thread about Turkey. If you have the time, get back into the real world and understand the word hypocricy and what it means, and that your trolling is not appreciated in this thread. If you don't take a hint, please God make it as painful as possible. If you don't give a crap about my christmas story then be polite and stfu, but like real *******s, I find it hard to believe you actually are able to do that. Surprise me?

Sorry, I think that you would be more surprised if I didn't answer, so since I don't wan't to upset you, I'd better do it.

Why should I make those threads ? It's not me that got upset in the Maria Carey thread, but as I can see, you need your two thread-a-day for more important things

I certainly give a crap for your christmas story (please don't take this litterally), but since it's in the high twenties here and there are more than six months to christmas, I have problems taking it seriously.

Oh, and since god doesn't exist, I'm not that worried

Edit : A minor clarification