Rugby - Hands Off White!

[Havak]

Aha!

[child of Thor]

Fighting talk from the kiwi(he is a kiwi isnt he?).

It will be an interesting encounter - almost makes me want to go to Ireland to watch the fireworks(on and off the pitch)

[finbar]

Originally posted by child of Thor
Fighting talk from the kiwi(he is a kiwi isnt he?).

I don't cop that sort of abuse from a ... a ... a ... POM*! ... like you!

(* = worst insult I can hurl at anyone)

[Andydog]

Something that cropped up on Gwlad.

Dying With Lions
Contributed by Richard Evans
Tuesday, 05 July 2005

Available on DVD and video from Monday 1st August 2005

Relive over and over again the abject failure that was the British and Irish Lions tour of New Zealand Summer 2005.

The ultimate holiday in hell for 45 unlucky tourists, enjoy every catastrophic minute from first meetings with incompetent tour guides Clive and Andy, to the hilarious second half of touch rugby in the Wellington test. This DVD contains extensive low points from all matches on the tour, plus bonus commentary from referee Andrew Cole on the Second test, explaining his controversial "Turn a blind eye" philosophy of international officiating.

Behind the Scenes footage

Accusations of management paranoia and distrust of the media are nonsensed by the unlimited access we were granted to the tour party.
Comprising over four and a half minutes of exclusive footage with the Lions, highlights include interviews with Martyn Williams accompanied by Alastair Campbell, Shane Horgan accompanied by Alastair Campbell and Josh Lewsey accompanied by Alastair Campbell.

The DVD includes an Introduction by Sir Clive Woodward, in which he expresses his frustration at the poor facilities available to his squad during the tour. "When I heard the test 22 would be traveling to games by coach, and not in spaceships as requested, doubts about our ability to be successful started to emerge. In an ideal world, he adds the test 22 would have been fitted out in Cybermen uniforms to protect them from exposure to harmful ultraviolet radiation on recreational trips."

However, Sir Clive ends on an optimistic note "In a few months, when all this has settled down, people will come to realize that we didn't lose the series 3-0. They'll see that we actually won it. Probably, oh I don.t know, 2-1 or something."

Bonus Features

Going DOWNTOWN with Dave Alred. Aimless Kicking Guru Dave explains his mysterious Downtown kicking tactic that had players, fans and commentators baffled the world over. Everyone marvels at the All Blacks offloading ability. But when you think about it kicking away all useful possession, particularly down the throats of the most dangerous counter attacking team ever invented, is off loading to the nth degree.
This is followed by UPTOWN with Dan and friends, as they effortlessly run the ball back up the pitch under the Lions posts.

What's in the Larder?

The oldest working man in rugby Phil Larder describes how a rugby league defence is the cornerstone of any successful Lions tour, even if it doesn't actually work. "What annoys me," rages Phil, "Is that all we hear about is how the All Blacks scored four tries against us in the second test, yet nobody talks about all the tries that they didn't score." Quite Phil. Listen to Phil describe exponents of attacking rugby as "retards" and "slightly sinister." As to those who claim his defensive patterns are outdated and rubbish- "They can go and get f****d."

Flat track Bullies

An examination of New Zealand's achievements in world rugby over the last twenty years. Plus a look at the main contenders to beat the All Blacks in the semi-final of RWC 2007.

Come Dancing

Watch on with sheer revulsion as Kevin and Tana, New Zealand's premier male dance couple teaches the Lions very own Waltzing O'Driscoll how to do "The Clearout", the dance craze that is taking New Zealand's Spinal Injuries Departments by storm.

[LDiCesare]

He certainly enjoyed the tour didn't he?

[finbar]

Satire bludgeoned with a broadsword instead of sliced with a rapier, unfortunately. Still, the more the merrier.

[Caligastia]

There's a word that seems to be rather overused by various commentators these days...perhaps we could use it for the next rugby thread title:

Rugby - Scintillating!

[Havak]

Sounds like a Murray Mexted line to me - but it's okay.

My back has been playing me up - damn near broke under the weight of kiwi humour I suspect.

LMAO at Finbar being called a Kiwi in my absence though - my thanks to CoT on that one.

The test of Mr Evans super wit will be when he turns it on the ABs if they repeat their third place finish in the tri-nations?

*edit* though the pseudo attempt to be even handed did produce one or two smiles.

Also can the Aussies conquer the environment on Saturday?

And now I am hiding for the next five days in anticipation of yet another Aussie run fest in that other little contest going on in the UK.

[Havak]

Well I see it is one of those tests where the Aussies deign to offer a little hope before coming back to win easily.

[finbar]

Looks like it.

[Andydog]

I know the Lions Tour Debacle has been done to death, but its still funny watching the NH-ers squirm when you see something like this:

[Havak]

As funny to a UK viewpoint as watching the ABs lose an RWC semi is to a Kiwi?

How about we look at the postives

29,000 visitors from Great Britain & Ireland (Source: Department of Labour)

- Extra 84 domestic flights scheduled by Air New Zealand

- 1,200 passengers accommodated aboard Pacific Sun cruise ship

- Over 2,100 camper vans & motor homes hired during the tour

- Estimated direct foreign exchange economic benefit: $120m (Source: Howarth Asia Pacific Ltd)

- Estimated total economic benefit: $250m (Source: Howarth Asia Pacific Ltd)

[finbar]

Originally posted by Havak
As funny to a UK viewpoint as watching the ABs lose an RWC semi is to a Kiwi?

How about we look at the postives

29,000 visitors from Great Britain & Ireland (Source: Department of Labour)

- Extra 84 domestic flights scheduled by Air New Zealand

- 1,200 passengers accommodated aboard Pacific Sun cruise ship

- Over 2,100 camper vans & motor homes hired during the tour

- Estimated direct foreign exchange economic benefit: $120m (Source: Howarth Asia Pacific Ltd)

- Estimated total economic benefit: $250m (Source: Howarth Asia Pacific Ltd)

Gee, the Kiwis cleaned up off and on the pitch.

And The Nose has said that, had he been playing, he would have taken the tackle matter further with Umaga and the hooker on the field. Of course he would have, and of course the ABs would have won by more with The Nose's pea-sized brain dedicated to things other than rugby.

[finbar]

The jinx continues!

Boks 33 -d- Wallabies 20 in Jo'burg. So we still haven't won there since 1963. Played like absolute crap, apparently, with the Boks racking up two of their three tries from intercepts from crap passes. It's truly bizarre how the Wallabies can beat the Boks with ease in Sydney two weeks ago and fall in a hole two weeks later.

[finbar]

Still, on the bright side, the English cricket team played up to the standards of their rugby brothers.