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  • the heat in texas...

    YOU KNOW YOU ARE IN TEXAS IN JULY WHEN. . . .


    The birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.


    The trees are whistling for the dogs.


    The best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.


    Hot water now comes out of both taps.


    You can make sun tea instantly.


    You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron! .


    The temperature drops below 95 and you feel a little chilly.


    You discover that in July it only takes 2 fingers to steer your car.


    You discover that you can get sunburned through your car window.


    You actually burn your hand opening the car door.


    You break into a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m.


    Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end up
    lying on the pavement and cook to death?"


    You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.


    The potatoes cook underground, so all you have to do is pull one out and add

    butter, salt and pepper.


    Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying
    boiled eggs.


    The cows are giving evaporated milk. Ah, what a place to call home.


    God Bless Our State of TEXAS !!
    "Mal nommer les choses, c'est accroître le malheur du monde" - Camus (thanks Davout)

    "I thought you must be dead ..." he said simply. "So did I for a while," said Ford, "and then I decided I was a lemon for a couple of weeks. A kept myself amused all that time jumping in and out of a gin and tonic."

  • #2
    That doesn't sound like a blessing, more like a curse. As it should be.
    I'm consitently stupid- Japher
    I think that opinion in the United States is decidedly different from the rest of the world because we have a free press -- by free, I mean a virgorously presented right wing point of view on the air and available to all.- Ned

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    • #3
      God created Arrakis to train the faithful...
      KH FOR OWNER!
      ASHER FOR CEO!!
      GUYNEMER FOR OT MOD!!!

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      • #4
        Kaak isn't joking, just so you know.
        Life is not measured by the number of breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.
        "Hating America is something best left to Mobius. He is an expert Yank hater.
        He also hates Texans and Australians, he does diversify." ~ Braindead

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        • #5
          Originally posted by SlowwHand
          Kaak isn't joking, just so you know.
          No he isnt Sad thing is its supposed to be 100 tomorrow, with very hi humidity. Another thing that lets you know when you get in your car after being in an airconditioned building after the car has sat there in the sun for a bit and your glasses fog up
          When you find yourself arguing with an idiot, you might want to rethink who the idiot really is.
          "It can't rain all the time"-Eric Draven
          Being dyslexic is hard work. I don't even try anymore.

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          • #6
            Texas deserves the punishment of extreme heat for being Texas.
            "Compromises are not always good things. If one guy wants to drill a five-inch hole in the bottom of your life boat, and the other person doesn't, a compromise of a two-inch hole is still stupid." - chegitz guevara
            "Bill3000: The United Demesos? Boy, I was young and stupid back then.
            Jasonian22: Bill, you are STILL young and stupid."

            "is it normal to imaginne dartrh vader and myself in a tjhreee way with some hot chick? i'ts always been my fantasy" - Dis

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            • #7
              Texas deserves the punishment of extreme heat for giving us Bush Jr
              Who is Barinthus?

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              • #8
                Originally posted by Barinthus
                Texas deserves the punishment of extreme heat for giving us Bush Jr
                Can texas really be responsible for the birth of one of the many idiots in the states?? If so shouldnt the other states that elected him president rot in hell to
                When you find yourself arguing with an idiot, you might want to rethink who the idiot really is.
                "It can't rain all the time"-Eric Draven
                Being dyslexic is hard work. I don't even try anymore.

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                • #9
                  I'm safe then, I'm one of those blue states

                  Beside your environment has alot to do with who you are as an adult
                  Who is Barinthus?

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Barinthus
                    I'm safe then, I'm one of those blue states

                    Beside your environment has alot to do with who you are as an adult
                    i guess it just means hat some of us in texas an live through the heat and apprecieate when it is actually 78 degrees, then bitc* and whine when its 35 f cause its to cold
                    When you find yourself arguing with an idiot, you might want to rethink who the idiot really is.
                    "It can't rain all the time"-Eric Draven
                    Being dyslexic is hard work. I don't even try anymore.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Barinthus
                      Texas deserves the punishment of extreme heat for giving us Bush Jr
                      I thought that was Connecticut?

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                      • #12
                        Re: the heat in texas...

                        I lived for awhile in New Mexico and the deserts of California. I have personally experienced:

                        Originally posted by Kaak
                        The best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.

                        [Also, don't park under streetlights because when you come out at night, your car will be covered with bugs]

                        Hot water now comes out of both taps.

                        You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron! [hot! hot! hot!]

                        You discover that in July it only takes 2 fingers to steer your car. [only one finger ]

                        You discover that you can get sunburned through your car window.

                        You actually burn your hand opening the car door.

                        You break into a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m.

                        You realize that asphalt has a liquid state. [It's weird, having it stick to your shoes as your walking across it.]
                        Last edited by Zkribbler; June 30, 2005, 00:39.

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                        • #13
                          Sounds like hell. Glad I'm on the Oregon Coast where it's maybe 65 and sunny today, the day before, the day before, the day before... Tomorrow it might get to 66.
                          Long time member @ Apolyton
                          Civilization player since the dawn of time

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                          • #14
                            WHen I was a kid growing up we had those car vinyl seats.

                            DAMN those things were hot.
                            We the people are the rightful masters of both Congress and the courts, not to overthrow the Constitution but to overthrow the men who pervert the Constitution. - Abraham Lincoln

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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Ted Striker
                              WHen I was a kid growing up we had those car vinyl seats.

                              DAMN those things were hot.
                              yeah and when you had to peal your ass from those hot sweaty seats sucked to
                              When you find yourself arguing with an idiot, you might want to rethink who the idiot really is.
                              "It can't rain all the time"-Eric Draven
                              Being dyslexic is hard work. I don't even try anymore.

                              Comment

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