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and it feels good 
But a bit sad at the same time 
I was a member for 8 years (which - coincidentally - was the same amount of time I was in the socialdemocrat youth organization. I wonder if that means something? 
) but I never really felt comfortable or at home. The thing that pushed me over the edge was when we had a discussion about participation in the swedish general elections next year and the arguments were exactly the same as the last three times we discussed that matter, and by exactly the same people. I just felt like we were three demented parrots repeating phrases over and over again... And when one of these comrades questioned my credibility and said that I didn´t work hard enough to be allowed to have an opinion on political matters I thought "**** it! I don´t need this ****"
The thing is I gave up on politics some time ago and the chance of ever uniting the swedish left in any matter whatsoever. So I turned my attention to more mundane things like maintaining the various party websites and e-mail lists. I also became the local party headquarters handyman/janitor/computer technician. Fixing coffee and sandwiches to meetings and tending the bar at our parties. But occasionally I get a surge of revolutionary spirit and hand out leaflets and sell the party newspaper, I also draw up elaborate plans for uniting the left, saving the welfare system, and generally making the world a better place to live. Most of the time though, I sit in my deep deep hole of despair and think that nothing will ever change (the way we want it to) and nothing matters at all. And who are we kidding, trying to change the world and trying to appeal to a working class that wouldn´t take a piss on us even if we were on fire?
Just because I´m a bit manic-depressive I´m suddenly not allowed to have a opinion on political matters? So I left. And I doubt if I´m ever going back. I think the party thing is closed chapter for me now.
But a bit sad at the same time I was a member for 8 years (which - coincidentally - was the same amount of time I was in the socialdemocrat youth organization. I wonder if that means something? ) but I never really felt comfortable or at home. The thing that pushed me over the edge was when we had a discussion about participation in the swedish general elections next year and the arguments were exactly the same as the last three times we discussed that matter, and by exactly the same people. I just felt like we were three demented parrots repeating phrases over and over again... And when one of these comrades questioned my credibility and said that I didn´t work hard enough to be allowed to have an opinion on political matters I thought "**** it! I don´t need this ****" The thing is I gave up on politics some time ago and the chance of ever uniting the swedish left in any matter whatsoever. So I turned my attention to more mundane things like maintaining the various party websites and e-mail lists. I also became the local party headquarters handyman/janitor/computer technician. Fixing coffee and sandwiches to meetings and tending the bar at our parties. But occasionally I get a surge of revolutionary spirit and hand out leaflets and sell the party newspaper, I also draw up elaborate plans for uniting the left, saving the welfare system, and generally making the world a better place to live. Most of the time though, I sit in my deep deep hole of despair and think that nothing will ever change (the way we want it to) and nothing matters at all. And who are we kidding, trying to change the world and trying to appeal to a working class that wouldn´t take a piss on us even if we were on fire?
Just because I´m a bit manic-depressive I´m suddenly not allowed to have a opinion on political matters? So I left. And I doubt if I´m ever going back. I think the party thing is closed chapter for me now.
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