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America Acquires Lake from the Russians

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  • America Acquires Lake from the Russians




    MOSCOW (Reuters) - A Russian village was left baffled on Thursday after its lake disappeared overnight.
    NTV television showed pictures of a giant muddy hole bathed in summer sun, while fishermen from the village of Bolotnikovo looked on disconsolately.

    "It is very dangerous. If a person had been in this disaster, he would have had almost no chance of survival. The trees flew downwards, under the ground," said Dmitry Zaitsev, a local Emergencies Ministry official interviewed by the channel.

    Officials in Nizhegorodskaya region, on the Volga river east of Moscow, said water in the lake might have been sucked down into an underground water-course or cave system, but some villagers had more sinister explanations.

    "I am thinking, well, America has finally got to us," said one old woman, as she sat on the ground outside her house.
    No village with a lake is safe from our stealth lake-sucking machine.

  • #2

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    • #3
      I want one!!!

      -=Vel=-
      The list of published books grows. If you're curious to see what sort of stories I weave out, head to Amazon.com and do an author search for "Christopher Hartpence." Help support Candle'Bre, a game created by gamers FOR gamers. All proceeds from my published works go directly to the project.

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      • #4
        We possess no stealth lake sucking machine,we are not researching a stealth lake sucking machine, and will not stand by while such spurious rumors are thrown about

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        • #5
          Silly woman. It's the Finns.
          "I have been reading up on the universe and have come to the conclusion that the universe is a good thing." -- Dissident
          "I never had the need to have a boner." -- Dissident
          "I have never cut off my penis when I was upset over a girl." -- Dis

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          • #6
            Terraform complete.
            In Soviet Russia, Fake borises YOU.

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            • #7
              Originally posted by Spiffor
              Silly woman. It's the Finns.
              And here I was thinking Laz was just kidding...
              The cake is NOT a lie. It's so delicious and moist.

              The Weighted Companion Cube is cheating on you, that slut.

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              • #8
                I, as a proud Minnesotan, am disturbed by this.
                I changed my signature

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                • #9
                  Considering how we scammed them on that Alaska deal, this ain't nothing.

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Oncle Boris
                    Terraform complete.
                    American Formers have reduced rainfall around Bolotnikovo.

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                    • #11
                      It's too far away. America could do it to Europe though.

                      Oops, almost gave away state secrets with that one.
                      Last edited by DaShi; May 20, 2005, 23:36.
                      “As a lifelong member of the Columbia Business School community, I adhere to the principles of truth, integrity, and respect. I will not lie, cheat, steal, or tolerate those who do.”
                      "Capitalism ho!"

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                      • #12
                        All your base belong to us
                        We the people are the rightful masters of both Congress and the courts, not to overthrow the Constitution but to overthrow the men who pervert the Constitution. - Abraham Lincoln

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                        • #13
                          I'm anxiously awaiting Serb's word on this.
                          "And so, my fellow Americans: ask not what your country can do for you—ask what you can do for your country. My fellow citizens of the world: ask not what America will do for you, but what together we can do for the freedom of man." -- JFK Inaugural, 1961
                          "Extremism in the defense of liberty is not a vice." -- Barry Goldwater, 1964 GOP Nomination acceptance speech (not George W. Bush 40 years later...)
                          2004 Presidential Candidate
                          2008 Presidential Candidate (for what its worth)

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                          • #14
                            They should rename what's left of it "Lake Inferior".

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                            • #15
                              I suppose the Russians will also blame us for that cesspool they call Lake Baikal.
                              "And so, my fellow Americans: ask not what your country can do for you—ask what you can do for your country. My fellow citizens of the world: ask not what America will do for you, but what together we can do for the freedom of man." -- JFK Inaugural, 1961
                              "Extremism in the defense of liberty is not a vice." -- Barry Goldwater, 1964 GOP Nomination acceptance speech (not George W. Bush 40 years later...)
                              2004 Presidential Candidate
                              2008 Presidential Candidate (for what its worth)

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