Pitching the Script

[Pekka]

I e-mailed my script to a potential agent and forgot all about it, because I didn't get a callback. Maybe it wasn't that good I thought to myself. Or maybe I didn't sell it properly. What ever the reason was, I forgot all about it until I had a message left to my phone, "This is Mr. Juvonen trying to reach Mr. Pekka. I have read your script and I would like to invite you over here to talk about it".

Urho Juvonen. The sadistic bastard who was named after a President. He didn't quite live up to the expectations of his parents but became a multi business owner, and enterpretaneur. His weird taste in art and wild imagination, combined with his bigger than life ego was bound to clash with mine.

I was excited to recieve the message. His professionalism prevented him from telling his address of his office, and his number was secret, so I called the operator's service. "118, Number Service, how can I help you?", "Hi, I need the number of the person who called me last, excatly an hour ago?", I requested. "Sir, it's a secret number, I can not give you the number". "I understand that, but this is a special case.", "It doesn't matter sir, I can not give you the number, it's not listed". "But you see, I have this.. I know who called me. Urho Juvonen. I need his number and I know it was him calling me. He's my agent and this thing could change my life. I know you are not supposed to give me the number but...", "I can't give you the number sir". What a muffdiver. Looks like I have to wait for my agent to call me again, and HOPEFULLY he does.

I googled up his name and behold, I found the address of his office. His website claimed him to be "The Star". I thought he was supposed to work for stars and help people to become stars. I knew something was wrong and weird with him, but I wouldn't dwell on it.

Since it was weekend, I thought I'd go to his office the next monday.

freestyle story telling continues soon.

[Qilue]

Good luck.

[Pekka]

Monday came and I took a cab to his office. I really couldn't afford it but since I was going to MY agent, I should be taken there by a cab. All the actors do it, so why not script writers. I wouldn't know anything about being a writer, but I can always try to act like one, I thought.

I arrived to the address and walked up the stairs and found his office. Didn't look like much, but at least it was clean. "I was expecting you earlier", he opened the conversation. "Mr Juvonen?", I asked. "Yes. I was expecting you earlier.", he insisited and continued, "I read your script and I think it needs some work but in general I think you have potential and after we work this a bit, we should pitch this to major production companies".

I was excited. My script... into a movie? Getting paid too? Sweet! ".. this all came so fast, I don't know what to say.. except that I'm very interested in working the script with you and hopefully we can pitch it", I said. "So.. what's the next step?".

Urho took off his tie and said, "the next step is you and me working this script. We should start as soon as possible. Is NOW ok for you?", he proposed. "Now? You mean right now? .. ok.. why not.. sure".

"First things first. You know I'm a method agent. You know what a method actor is? I'm just like that, except I write. I mean I help writers. We need to feel the script, and frankly I don't feel few of the characters at all. Help me feel, show me, let's make it work. Pain, anger, lust, it's all good, we just need something to work with.", he foamed.

Pain, anger, lust? Who is this guy.. an agent? I mean, a method agent???

"Look son, we don't have time to waste, let's go to your place and start working. I need to see the world through your eyes, so I can make everyone else see the world through your eyes and sell this baby. That's the key, that's the Oak Island, that's the Ringlemere gold cup! Understand?", he looked at me, measuring me and trying to see if I had the passion and what it takes.

"I'm not sure, my place is kind of small and..", "No excuses! Do you want me to work with you? Do you want the riches and the women? Then you need to make sacrifices, and the first one is your private life, you have none from now on, I'll make you a star!".

This was our deal. I wouldn't have to pay him money, we would come up with a percentage, a cut, later on. Oh and he would move in with me.

[Kidlicious]

That's pretty good Pekka.

[Pekka]

I don't know what is more sad. The fact that none of you yet realize this is a freestyle story and not real life, or that ... there's no other option.
-----------

We arrive to my place, and he immidiately settles in without me having to say act like it's your home. His method agencing kicks in right away, and he goes to my bathroom and smells my deodorants, toothbrush and carefully examines the room. "Mmm.. clean.. I like it..", he mumbles. Next up for inspection is my fridge, and after that is my book collection and clothes, paying attention to my boxers. He wanders around touching everything like a little kid and says, "I'm starting to feel you a little already. You like simplistic style.. you don't live with a woman and you think those shakes still works for you even though your gym card is already out dated. You're a dreamer, and typical writer. Let's talk about the script.. is this your first script?", he asks. "Yes this is my first one.. is it that obvious?".

No reply. He pulls out his laptop and shows me my script on it. "You have some basic grammar problems, and you're writing in english. We need to work with your prepositions, but other than that, I don't see bigger problems ahead of us. What is your style of writing?". "I kind of just write, see what happens, and go from there on .. I never really plan too much, I just think of a title and start winging it".

"Forget that Gonzo ****. Since Hunter Thompson, everyone started writing like him. It's not cool anymore, and it certainly will not get you any deals in the future. It's just like Quentin Tarantino, after him every film student started making films his style. Forget Tarantino. You need to bring your own style, your own method of writing and describing things. So far I don't see any style at all and you say you just wing it?". "Pretty much.. ", I reply. "Good, so we have lots to work on. When do you feel the most creative?".

I think that for a minute and can't come up with anything.


Gotta go now, come back later.

[Verto]

Finnish erotica

[Ecthy]

[Japher]

The Russian Brides had my interest more

[Ted Striker]

Russian Brides

[Ted Striker]

Pekka,

If you're serious about doing a script, you need to attend one of these:

http://www.screenwritingexpo.com/

[Dracon II]

His weird taste in art

Is that why he's taken to your script?

[Pekka]

Ted, No I jusit write for fun.

And this story is just beginning you bastards, I have already set up few things but they don't make sense right now, so please, have patience. And it still sucks, hey too bad, it's freestyle story telling, not novel.

[Kuciwalker]

This is a story, right?

xpost

[Pekka]

Kuci, YES I was away watching a hockey game and I just came back and will continue now.

[Dracon II]

wait... what's the story? the script or the story about the script? I'm confused...