Why Wouldn't It Just Fly Away

[Sprayber]

Ok, I've been sick the past three days. Spent most of my time in the bed and today I get out for the first time and went to have lunch with my girlfriend. So I'm driving back not feeling very well and I see this bird standing on the highway in my lane and it takes off running to the side of the road. About a second later I notice a second one running across to but now I'm getting close. Now I don't want to kill it. I'm not in a killing mood by far because the BBQ was making me a bit sick to my stomach. I slow down but the bird decides to go squirrel on me and start back across the road to the other side. Not flying mind you but now just walking around

It wouldn't ****ing fly like it should and I wasn't gonna stop for it It lost the game of chicken and became a dead bird

I just hope it wasn't a momma bird, it being so close to mothers day and all. But in the movies its always the girl running behind so odds are it was the chick bird. Now I have a dead bird on my conscience along with a stopped up head and runny nose.

PS. And it wasn't a road runner or anything. It looked like a sparrow. If it's not deer or squirrels or possums, its ****ing birds I kill.

[Dis]

was your girlfriend in the car with you? How did she react?

[Japher]

I once plowed into a bird and it got stuck in my grill... I ended up at a gas station in Bakersfield prying a dead bird out of my car.

Best day of my life.

Also, my wife once cried when she nailed a squirrel on an off ramp. Sorry Boshko, I laughed.

[The Emperor Fabulous]

So...why did it cross the road?

[Sprayber]

Originally posted by Dissident
was your girlfriend in the car with you? How did she react?

She was back to school when I hit it. She will probably laugh when I tell her. She ran over a rabbit about two months ago with her 6 year old daughter in the car. Talk about having to have a big long talk about that later before bedtime.

Momma, we need to talk about you killing the bunny. Talk about heartache.

[Sprayber]

Originally posted by The Emperor Fabulous
So...why did it cross the road?

To feel the power of some goodyear tires apparently

[Lancer]

So far I've hit:

Three deer (I live in Oregon, though one was in Jersey)

1 Crane type bird, beautiful all white. It was in Florida and a whole mess of them were on a road. I slowed as they took off in a flock, but then when it was already safe, one, just one, turned back around and ate my grill. Didn't stick though, it went under and crunchingly passed under my vehicle. I saw it take its last flop in my rear view.

Any number of squirrels, mostly in Jersey where there are plenty.

I almost hit an elk once. It jumped out of the forest just far enough in front of me to miss. Must have weighed 1000 lbs. It was like a horse.

Also almost hit a bald eagle once. Flew out of the forest just in front of me but pulled up in time.

[Lancer]

Oh, and I killed a badger while on my motorcycle in Jersey. It jumped out in front of me and I ran over the back of its neck. No time to react...it was stone dead.

[Japher]

I've hit a ton of snakes and lizards... Driving north out of Reno in the summer = nasty

[Japher]

Where's Sloww? He'd tell us how to cook all this up!

[Wezil]

Originally posted by Lancer

Also almost hit a bald eagle once. Flew out of the forest just in front of me but pulled up in time.

While traveling at high speed (120 kph or so) I had a seagull do a kamakaze run at my van. I fully expected the bird to pull up....but it didn't. Took the windshield out.

[Dis]

the advantage of living in a place that can't support any animal life is you never hit anything . I may have hit some snakes and lizards, but they are too small to notice.

jackrabbits can sometimes dart into the road. And just stare at you (I think those are the creatures taht can only see from the sides of the head and can't look straight at you). But I've never hit a jackrabbit.

[Sprayber]

Originally posted by Lancer
I almost hit an elk once. It jumped out of the forest just far enough in front of me to miss. Must have weighed 1000 lbs. It was like a horse.

I break for everything bigger than a great dane

I hit deer three months ago. It hit my front tire and slid down the side. It was about 2am and I was definitly awake after that. Now when I go to see my gf and I see deer crossing the road I stop and just let them pass. Thankfully I see most on a dirt road.

[The Mad Monk]

It's easy enough.

First, make sure none of the musk glands were popped, because if they were, you can walk away at that point.

After a cursory exam to see if anything is recoverable, slit the belly and remove the viscera, as that's just dead weight, unless you have dogs. This would be a good time to remove anything else you consider inedible, for the same reason. Toss it in the bushes for the local wildlife to enjoy.

Take it to a butcher who knows how to dress game.


You may want to check local and state regulations.

[Sprayber]

I wonder if animals use the road for suicide because sometimes they just seem to want to get hit.