Even Darth Vader Has A Blog

[OzzyKP]

This is hilarious:

http://darthside.blogspot.com/

Big day. Storming the rebel ice fortress.

Took a nap first so I would be peppy. Leg feels pretty good.

[Japher]

I mean, come on!

[Whoha]

Hmm, this has potential, but Will it rise to the level of saddams blog?

saddamhussein.blogspot.com

[Winston]

I bet Vader supported the war in Iraq from the outset.

[OzzyKP]

Later, I will find the man responsible for dispatching the repair droids and crush his trachea with my mind. I also have tentative lunch plans with General Krelcon and his people, possibly in the Corellian quarter.

[Guynemer]

Ozzel just isn't the creative type.

The problem is solved now, however. I crushed his trachea with my mind, and promoted Piett to command the fleet. I have transmitted to following note to Ozzel's kin:

Dear House of Ozzel,

I regret to inform you that your son has been killed in the line of duty.

He was an incompetent, yammering boob and he will be missed by none. I have allowed the men to pillage his personal belongings, which is why we have enclosed nothing but the sole remaining item: a torn advertisements page from a magazine of midget pornography. May it shock and disturb you, and may you think of it always when you remember your dearly departed son, the ninny.

Know also that his limitations as a sub-par military professional caused the deaths of many of the Emperor's loyal soldiers, whose funeral expenses will appear on your next tax assessment.

Sincerely,
D. Vader

Too harsh? I call them as I see them.

Holy ****, that's funny as hell.

[OzzyKP]

I like the way the commenters get in on it too. They have conversations about the entry, each posing as other Star Wars characters. Like Darth Vader had this lunch meeting, and someone inquired how he eats with the helmet and such, and another person posing as one of Darth Vader's Aides answered. Such good stuff.

[Guynemer]

From Saddam's blog:



Christ almighty, I wish I was even 10% as funny as these people.

[OzzyKP]

A gem from the comments:

Your Supremem Excelency Darth Vader,

Trooper A-29 reporting! While I and the rest of my unit are certain that you waste no time in your hunt for the rebels, I and the rest of my unit must ask you what may seem a frivolous question.
We are having trouble keeping the shine on our armor after bloody skirmishes (and certain victories!) with the rebel scum, may it be forever eradicated!
We have switched polishes several times, but nothing seem to repel the blood. We have tried adjusting the settings on our blasters lower, higher, nothing seems to be the solution. We have even tried using old tibanna gas cartridges in our weapons, yet that only throws the recipient into a state of extremem shock, thus rendering them useless.
Our question is this, how is it that you are able to keep your mechanical suit so clean? Can you recomend a polish that works? Or is it simply that you clean it more frequently? Please help us, as the garison commander refuses to give us more prisoners to experiment with.
Please do not exterminate us if you think we have overstepped our bounds by asking.

Trooper A-29!

[Dis]

keep posting it here. I'm too lazy to search out for comedy. I need it hand delivered here at poly. .

Yes I'm too lazy to click on that link.

[OzzyKP]

Another good comment:

Two chicks hitting on you in a single blog entry... My, my, you've lost touch, Iruka finds you hot!

The problem is it's not only them who find you hot. Does the Dark Side let you recognize the feelings? Can you feel the expressions on the faces of some storm troopers you pass by? Do you know -how- do they look at posters of you in their lockers? The comments about the black and silver stripes on your chest?
I, being strictly hetero, find it very disturbing to listen about their fantasies of "prize" you'd give them for destroying the Rebellion...

And those suffocation freaks. They are scary. They actually DREAM about being strangled by you. One day, when you punish one of your generals, move your sight from his eyes to his crotch and you may find a... disgusting surprise.

-- anonymous stormtrooper hailing from obscure frontier planet. (protecting my identity from revenge of the gay underground)

[Qilue]

Originally posted by Dissident
keep posting it here. I'm too lazy to search out for comedy. I need it hand delivered here at poly. .

Yes I'm too lazy to click on that link.

This one has it's moments.

http://www.gwbush.blogspot.com/

[Sprayber]

,

[Qilue]

Originally posted by Dissident
keep posting it here. I'm too lazy to search out for comedy. I need it hand delivered here at poly. .

Yes I'm too lazy to click on that link.

Actually, this one from the Saddam blog

I have begun offering the equivalent of $5,000 to any Iraqi man, woman, child, or family goat, who destroys a coalition tank or armored personnel carrier. This is a win-win deal for me. First of all, it will be one less piece of enemy hardware tearing up the well maintained streets of Baghdad. Or at least they WERE well maintained, until all the damn bomb craters started showing up. The bad ones can really screw up the front end alignment of your camel, you know.
More importantly, chances are that the attacker won't live long enough to collect the reward, so I won't have to actually pay out any money.
Coalition personnel are not eligible for this incentive program. With all the damn friendly fire incidents they've been having, I'd go broke in no time flat....

EDIT - also

My enemies continue to revel in the fact they changed the name of Saddam International Airport to Baghdad International Airport. Fine, laugh it up while you can, soldier boys. We'll see who's laughing after I invade the United States, introduce the American populace to the simple joys of autocracy, name Micheal Moore interim Provincial Governor, and change the name of Houston's George Bush Intercontinental Airport to Supreme Saddam, Crusher of the Fat, High Cholesterol Suffering, Lazy Infidel Intercontinental Airport.
We'll need bigger signs, of course.

[OzzyKP]

hahaha, i'm liking the comments as much as the blog.

Hi Mr. Vader.

I'm a Bothan looking for gainful employment at any of your installations that begin or end with the word "Star". I've always had a facination with _____Stars and Star_____ names, and I was currious if you wouldn't mind checking out my resume for Department of Records. Bothans, as you well know, are known for their fierce loyalty. I was recently entrusted with the position of Don't Tell Anyone Document Handler at a local Hut trading post, and I'm looking forward to working with you on keeping other "highly sensitive" documents safe.

Also, in a pinch, I can be killed with many of my brothers to cover up a massive inteligence failure.

Thanks you for your time, please send all requests for further information to not-a-rebel-spy@not-rebel-headquarters.com