My New Conspiracy Theory Needs Help

[Japher]

I was just think that like a thrid of the people on the planet reside in China.

A large percentage of the worlds oil is going to China since they discovered cars, got lazy, and ditched the bikes.

A large percentage of the worlds concrete/cement is going to China so they can build car factories, nuclear silos, and another BETTER wall.

A large percentage of the worlds steel is going to China to build nuclear missels for the silos, for the cars to be built in the factories, and probably for things like braces and chopsticks.

Here's my question: with all those imports and all those people being gathered on one spot of the planet is it possible for that large displacement of weight to cause a shift in the planet's orbit? Maybe make the earth spin faster or slower and thus throwing it out of orbit killing us all?!!

I haven't bothered to look up the physics, but it sounds kind of fishy to me. What, exactly, are those Chinese up to?!

[Brundlefly]

large quantities of short chinese balance smaller but significant numbers of large africans and small numbers of fat hillbillies on the other side of the planet. the world is not moving out of its orbit

[Japher]

the world is not moving out of its orbit

yet

Africa isn't importing a ton of resources

[Solomwi]

I think you're on to something here, Japher. The key is the rice. Everybody knows rice is light and fluffy, so the conspiracy chiefs are probably trying to solve this final piece of the puzzle. Once they start importing Krispy Kremes by the boatload, we'll know the plan is in its final stages.

[Flubber]

There is a team of 10,000 people in each in a 20,000 pound machine in northern Idaho that are closely monitoring this issue. Sensitiive equipment monitors things and at at precosely the right moment all 10,000 machines jump into the air and then crash back to the ground.

However this is a temporary fix only. In 1998 only 3 jumps a day were required to keep the planet aligned correctly. Latest figures indicate that they now are jumping about every 90 minutes

[Japher]

This must be stopped!!!

[Last Conformist]

[Japher]

I like Chinese, I really do

Yet if you put a large percentage of mass on one spot on a sphere, that will alter the orbit of that sphere... It's science, it's fact (or so I think). Changes in the orbit can be noticed by irregular day and night patterns (i.e. daylight savings), odd animal migration (haven't seen that yet, but I am watching), and global warming!

Yes, that's right, the chinese are responsible for global warming... or more correctly, it is China's fault!

[Hueij]

Originally posted by Flubber
There is a team of 10,000 people in each in a 20,000 pound machine in northern Idaho that are closely monitoring this issue. Sensitiive equipment monitors things and at at precosely the right moment all 10,000 machines jump into the air and then crash back to the ground.

However this is a temporary fix only. In 1998 only 3 jumps a day were required to keep the planet aligned correctly. Latest figures indicate that they now are jumping about every 90 minutes

It's a well known fact that if all Chinese stand on a 10cm ledge and jump down all at the same time there will be a tsunami that will destroy the America's

[Japher]

hmmmm, maybe that's what all that concrete is REALLY for!

[DAVOUT]

The worse will come when the average weight of the poorly fed Chinese will reach the average weight of the overweighed Americans.

[Spec]

iS THERE A DRAFT IN cHINA?

[Sandman]

It's OK. With their planned conquest of space, much of the material will be blasted into orbit, thus minimising any imbalance... like with America.

[pchang]

Actually, only about 15% of the world's people live in China. Another 17% or so live in India. You don't get to 1/3 of the earth's people until you combine China and India together.

[Japher]

It's OK. With their planned conquest of space, much of the material will be blasted into orbit, thus minimising any imbalance... like with America.

That's a good point. However, they will have to launch a lot of rockets, the resulting thrust of all those rockets pushing down on that side of the planet will most likely have devistating consequences...