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  • Why?

    Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries
    are getting weak?

    Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there
    is not enough?

    Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars,
    but check when you say the paint is wet?

    Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

    Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

    Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

    Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw
    a revolver at him?

    Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

    Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

    If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

    Does a clean house indicate that there is a broken computer in it?

    Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are
    always white?

    Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

    Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that
    something new to eat will have materialized?

    Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum
    cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to
    give the vacuum one more chance?

    Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end you first try?

    How do those dead bugs get into those closed light fixtures?

    When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a
    shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all
    right? Well, it isn't all right so why don't we say, "That hurt, you
    stupid idiot?"

    Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling
    off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

    In winter, why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer
    when we complained about the heat?

    Why do you never hear father-in-law jokes?

    The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is
    suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best
    friends, if they're okay, then it's you.

  • #2
    Re: Why?

    Originally posted by Space05us
    Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
    Actually they didn't. Real Helmets weren't used in WWII..../smartass

    Blah

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Why?

      Originally posted by Space05us
      Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
      They don't have any other needles.


      Originally posted by Space05us
      Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
      Because Weismuller didn't look good with a beard.


      Originally posted by Space05us
      If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
      They flunked their evolution classes.
      veni vidi PWNED!

      Comment


      • #4
        Why do I have to press 'Start' to shut down my pc ?
        veni vidi PWNED!

        Comment


        • #5
          Why do I have to press 'Start' to shut down my pc ?


          You dont know how to press ctrl+alt+delete?

          Comment


          • #6
            old

            amyways.... space's avatar
            Bunnies!
            Welcome to the DBTSverse!
            God, Allah, boedha, siva, the stars, tealeaves and the palm of you hand. If you are so desperately looking for something to believe in GO FIND A MIRROR
            'Space05us is just a stupid nice guy' - Space05us

            Comment


            • #7
              Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries
              are getting weak?


              I don't know, but I always wack it on something... seems to work.

              Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there
              is not enough?


              Because they like kicking you when you're down as well as up. Maximizing their utility, y'know....

              Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars,
              but check when you say the paint is wet?


              Because they can't check if there are four billion stars... duh!

              Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?


              Because it's all concentrated and has no contact with air or something or other

              Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?


              The sterilizing agent on the needle is actually the poison. What they're injecting them with is morphine... which is for the pain.

              Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?


              Monkey's kept tugging at it.

              Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw
              a revolver at him?


              Because the gunshots were special effects... but the revolver was real.

              Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?


              Because American pilots do and you just know how Japanese love copying Americans

              Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?


              Probably Hitler

              If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?


              They're welfare queens who refused to innovate like the rest of us...

              Does a clean house indicate that there is a broken computer in it?


              No.... it indicates that five brainless queers and a TV crew have been there.

              Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are
              always white?


              They aren't. You're just colourblind and your friends didn't tell you cause they thought it'd be funny when you pulled up at an intersection.

              Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?


              Yes of course... you're just reliving the same day over and over again. GROUNDHOG DAY!!!

              Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that
              something new to eat will have materialized?


              When you're going starving the law of diminishing returns tends to reverse...

              Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum
              cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to
              give the vacuum one more chance?


              Never seen anyone do that. You must be surrounded by morons...

              Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end you first try?


              That's not true. You're unwittingly choosing the wrong end because you unconsciously want to waste time... in a desparate attempt to fend off death.

              How do those dead bugs get into those closed light fixtures?


              The companies fit their fixtures with secret dead bug dispensers in an attempt to disgust you into replacing them every now and then. Now that you know you must die... and no... opening those bags at the wrong end will not save you.

              When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a
              shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all
              right? Well, it isn't all right so why don't we say, "That hurt, you
              stupid idiot?"


              Because deep within we all know that those evil shopping carts are the real offenders...

              Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling
              off the table you always manage to knock something else over?


              I dunno... don't try and universalize your own clumsiness.

              In winter, why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer
              when we complained about the heat?


              Because humans always want what is scarce... like diamonds... love... or ebola...

              Why do you never hear father-in-law jokes?


              Because mother-in-law jokes are representative of the patriarchal power relations in modern capitalist discourse. Mothers-in-law inhabit a subaltern status in patriarchal familial discourse, as they are subordinate to one's real mother, who in turn is subordinate to all the men in the family.

              Plus... they remind you of what your wife is going to look like in 20-30 years... it's a real bummer, so you've gotta just have a good sense of humour about it.

              Comment


              • #8


                When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a
                shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all
                right? Well, it isn't all right so why don't we say, "That hurt, you
                stupid idiot?"

                eye-contact
                Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent. Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent. Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil? Is he neither able nor willing?
                Then why call him God? - Epicurus

                Comment


                • #9
                  They don't have any other needles.


                  You've never been to Bondi Beach...
                  Seriously though.... there's a use for all those syringe disposal units in public toilets. Are we so afraid of Dead Man Walking becoming Dead Man Walking the "Streets of Philadelphia"?? They're going to die anyway... unless of course they don't really die but are reprogrammed as secret Government assassins or tax auditors or something...

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    on you guys for warming your houses in the winter for as hot as it is in the summer. I keep my house 62 F (16.7 C) in the winter.

                    It's called energy conservation. This is why the western world uses most of the world's resources.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Dissident
                      on you guys for warming your houses in the winter for as hot as it is in the summer. I keep my house 62 F (16.7 C) in the winter.

                      It's called energy conservation. This is why the western world uses most of the world's resources.
                      Do you keep your house 98 in the summer? Or do you waste elctricity keeping yourself cool.

                      I'll bet you have central air.

                      ACK!
                      Don't try to confuse the issue with half-truths and gorilla dust!

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        I keep my house 82 F (27.7 C) in the summer. I can't keep it any warmer or I won't be able to sleep as I'll be in a pool of my own sweat.

                        and I don't have central air. One reason I do it is to save money. I don't want a $200 power bill.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          And if I don't warm the house in winter I'll freeze to death
                          This space is empty... or is it?

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: Why?

                            Originally posted by Space05us
                            If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
                            Because humans did not evolve from living african apes, we all decended from a common ancestor that resembled a Bonobo (pygmy chimp) in size and body proportions, but had a Gorilla-like harem-based social structure and a large amount of sexual dimorphism (size difference between males and females). the reduction in sexual dimorphism in chimps and humans most likely evolved independently, because the earliest australopithicines has a huge amount of dimorphism. Humans became adapted for open habitats. Gorillas became large, specialized plant eaters. Chimps retained the primitive lifestyle, but lost the harem-type troop structure and sexual dimorphism

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              @ Dracon
                              Monkey!!!

                              Comment

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