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  • WoW, Jesus saves virtual souls

    You gotta love Landover Baptist.

    http://www.landoverbaptist.org/news0105/wow.html

    Winning Souls to Christ in The World of Warcraft
    Christian Video Gaming News

    Christian game enthusiasts around the US are turning the world of Azeroth inside the new video game, "World of Warcraft" into a mission field, where virtual battles are fought and real souls are won to the Lord Jesus Christ.

    Billy Houston, a Landover Baptist Senior High youth, has been sharing Jesus in the virtual gaming world for over three years. "I evangelized in Lineage 2, Everquest, Diablo, and a bunch of other games," he says, "but I haven't seen nearly as many people who are as open to hearing the Gospel message as I have inside the World of Warcraft." Billy has what gamers call, a Level 57 Undead Priest with Holy Focus. "I'm also in one of the largest Christian guilds on our server," he says. "I think the reason so many people are open to hearing about Jesus in the World of Warcraft is because the majority of people who play the game are lonely kids who don't have any friends. I doubt any of them play sports so you can pretty much guess that there are lots of gay boys and fat little pale-faced Wiccan girls on the servers who hate themselves and escape into virtual characters so they don't have to deal with their pathetic lives. When they hear that someone loves them, even if it is just the Lord Jesus Christ, they always want to hear more!"

    The World of Warcraft is ripe for eager young Christian evangelists to ply their trade. "I'm studying to be a missionary at Liberty University, in Lynchburg, Virginia," says one gamer (who prefers to remain anonymous) and sharing the Good News of Jesus in Azeroth is a great way to practice soulwinning in Arkansas, where I'm from originally. I think that when Jesus said in Mark 16:15, Go ye into all the world and preach the gospel to every creature, He knew that True Christians™ like me in the future, would be called into virtual worlds where we'd be witnessing to gnomes, trolls, night elves and all sorts of other creatures. I also think that verse applies to Christian astronaut missionaries in the future who will encounter and evangelize unsaved alien life forms on other planets. I believe with my whole heart that Christian gamers are sincerely answering the Great Commission of Jesus and we are able to do it without getting out of our chairs or leaving our bedrooms. I bet the Apostle Paul is so jealous!"

    One prospective missionary at the Landover Baptist Christian Academy says, "Most people who are mean, liberal, nasty, lonely, unsaved losers in real life choose to play the Horde (an evil race of characters in the World of Warcraft) and people and guilds who are conservative, Republican and pretty much easier to win to Jesus Christ with are found in the Alliance. That's why the real True Christians™ pick the Horde to play as characters and start their guilds in Horde territory because they like the challenge of sharing Christ's message in a perilous, lava-soaked, environment. Sometimes you have to pester people for weeks before they listen to you. I followed some stupid gnome around for 8-hours until he finally told me that he would accept Jesus as his Personal Savior if I would just promise not to contact him anymore. Now that rocks!"

    "I really like our guild leader," says young Billy Houston. "He has a strict policy against letting unsaved people join our group. I think he's from Alabama in real life. In fact, he won't even party-up with anyone who isn't a Christian. He's a level 60 Priest, and gets a lot of respect. He can climb right up to the top of the dwarf statue by the gates of Stormwind City and start street preaching to the Dark Elves and they will listen to everything he says. He's done conversion duels on multiple servers where he challenges other players to duel with him. If he wins, they accept Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior. If he loses (which he never has) he will give them 6 pieces of silver."

    Christian gamers are also excited that they are able to live out their faith in the same way the early True Christians™ did, before their religion was sissified by liberalism, science, and political correctness. "It is such a rush to kill other players who refuse to accept Jesus Christ as Lord," says one gamer. "I feel like I can really practice my faith the way God intended it. It is like I'm fighting alongside Christians of old, instead of the pansies and sissies from my Sunday school class."

    Young Billy explains that it is very simple to announce the message of God's love across the World of Warcraft game channels. "I have a hot-key macro that broadcasts, Jesus Loves You! Please Love Him Back or He Will Burn You in Hell! PM Me if you want to learn more! across four channels. I do it right when I log in. I usually get PM'd (Private Messaged) by a few characters who I then add to my buddy list. I follow them around the game, across snow-capped mountains, and blasted wastelands until they accept Christ or persecute me so much that I have to report them to the server administrators for making fun of my religion. I think I've been responsible for getting over thirty accounts suspended for bigotry directed at me because of my faith."

    Landover Baptist Pastors originally expressed some concern over the game because it looked like it promoted occult activity. "I told Pastor Deacon Fred that every single time I find an item that looks like it has something to do with the occult, I hop on a griffin and head straight to Ironforge where I auction it off. Christian gamers shouldn't be carrying that stuff around. We don't enter places that serve alcohol in the game either. It is just not a good testimony. All the money I make from selling occult items to unsaved gamers, I auction off on E-bay for real cash, which I then put into the offering plate at our church on the last Sunday of each month."
    "Luck's last match struck in the pouring down wind." - Chris Cornell, "Mindriot"

  • #2
    Good roleplayer
    The Party seeks power entirely for its own sake. We are not interested in the good of others; we are interested solely in power. Not wealth or luxury or long life or happiness: only power, pure power.

    Join Eventis, the land of spam and unspeakable horrors!

    Comment


    • #3
      I bet the people inflicted with the spam hope for non-consesual PvP to be enabled against those people.
      I make no bones about my moral support for [terrorist] organizations. - chegitz guevara
      For those who aspire to live in a high cost, high tax, big government place, our nation and the world offers plenty of options. Vermont, Canada and Venezuela all offer you the opportunity to live in the socialist, big government paradise you long for. –Senator Rubio

      Comment


      • #4
        PvP is enabled. It shipped with PVP enabled. That's part of the game
        "Luck's last match struck in the pouring down wind." - Chris Cornell, "Mindriot"

        Comment


        • #5
          What are you talking about Mike?
          I make no bones about my moral support for [terrorist] organizations. - chegitz guevara
          For those who aspire to live in a high cost, high tax, big government place, our nation and the world offers plenty of options. Vermont, Canada and Venezuela all offer you the opportunity to live in the socialist, big government paradise you long for. –Senator Rubio

          Comment


          • #6
            Ah!!! You DanS'd your post .
            "Luck's last match struck in the pouring down wind." - Chris Cornell, "Mindriot"

            Comment


            • #7
              I thought landoverbaptist was a real website, but some of that is just too stupid not to be satire... is it?

              Comment


              • #8
                kuci:

                it is satire.

                the sad thing is...

                landover baptist has an article on how god struck down the columbia shuttle.

                a few days later, godhatesfags.com of fred phelps and westboro baptist fame, also had an article about how god struck down the columbia shuttle.

                ==

                one of landover's more inspired articles is about SARS, or Sino-sinners Are Rightly Slain. Those nese...
                B♭3

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by Kuciwalker
                  I thought landoverbaptist was a real website, but some of that is just too stupid not to be satire... is it?
                  No. Objective.jesussave is a real website. landoverbaptist is fake.
                  "You're the biggest user of hindsight that I've ever known. Your favorite team, in any sport, is the one that just won. If you were a woman, you'd likely be a slut." - Slowwhand, to Imran

                  Eschewing silly games since December 4, 2005

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    The Landover Baptist church which has an 18 years of age limit on its website? not satire?
                    Concrete, Abstract, or Squoingy?
                    "I don't believe in giving scripting languages because the only additional power they give users is the power to create bugs." - Mike Breitkreutz, Firaxis

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Q Cubed
                      kuci:

                      it is satire.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        They should expand into Halo 2.

                        Join the sInDiE!! clan

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