I had a talk with my mother

[Footie Mad]

So I had a long talk with my mother about my depression and feelings of hopelessness and meaninglessness, the tears coming out and everything. She took it pretty hard and is now doubtful of even leaving me alone, afraid i'll do something to myself. I hurt her and she started crying afterwards, wish I had never told her now in hindsight really. I feel terrible and don't know what to do anymore, i'm still living at home and it's just the two of us here, we both affect eachother to much.

Making her cry all alone, me trying to console her with words while feeling like i was tearing apart inside of guilt. Where should i go now?
Don't know why i'm writing here just had to get it off my chest somehow.

[Whaleboy]

Well distance in these things is always advisable? If you're not at risk of yourself I'd seriously consider moving out. These things tend to repeat themselves with love ones and depression, so even if you can't move out some distance may well be a good idea.

Other than that, counselling and some outlet for the way you feel is a good idea, preferably not involving self-harm but I'm not one to (nor am i in a position to) preach about it. Whatever helps.

[PLATO]

You did the right thing. Her tears are concern and love for you. In a short time, they will turn into the support that you were seeking.

[Footie Mad]

I've been treated for depression for a while and she thought it was getting better so I sank her hopes.

[PLATO]

Originally posted by Footie Mad
I've been treated for depression for a while and she thought it was getting better so I sank her hopes.

That's just because she cares! She has something you need...hope. Rely on her strength...she sounds like she will be there for you.

[Verres]

The fact you were able to talk to her about it perhaps means you are actually getting better, in some way?

I don't know, but I agree with PLATO that you did the right thing in talking to her. People are usually a lot stronger than we think, I'm sure she can deal with it (and most likely is very relieved you actually trusted her enough to tell her the truth).

[MikeH]

I found that talking about my depression stuff was a good start to getting help and starting to get better.

Good luck.

[chequita guevara]

My wife frequently tells me that when you beging therapy, you will actually get worse before you begin to get better. That's because rather than trying to repress your emotions and and problems, you have to confront them.

As Verres said, the fact that you were able to reach out says you're getting better, because one of the things the disease makes you do is withdraw from others.

[germanos]

What's wrong with being hopeless and meaningless?

WTF do you think the rest of us are

[JimmyCracksCorn]

Never go to your mother for help dealing with depression...

Everyone knows they're the source of all depression anyways...

[Q Classic]

i don't know what to say, honestly.

i'm torn between shrugging and saying something along the lines of:

why the f* did you go ahead and do something like that? why couldn't you just be a decent human being and not spread the sh* and hurt that is this miserable life to someone else? why did you have to go and be rude and give someone else a burden they don't want?

and so on... which is some of what i really feel. which is something i can't get past, honestly, mostly because i still can't convince myself that keeping quiet, bottling things up and not being a burden on other people, not hurting them with the rudeness of revealing your own problems, is a bad thing.

it's not some f*cking john wayne thing, either. it's being nice for the sake of others, it's putting other people's comfort and well-being first. why make them worry over something that is your problem, and your problem only, especially when they can do jack sh*t to solve it?

...or telling you that you did the right thing. I mean, I can see the logic behind what Plato and so on are saying. like distributed computing, sharing problems resolves them faster, in a way, and often can make an insurmountable gordian knot easier to untangle.

i suppose it's good, but... do the people getting sh*t like this dumped on them... do they ever really ask for it? do they ever really ask to become part of the cluster?

so, footie (are you dojoboy from earlier, or am i just wrong entirely?)... i really don't know what to say here. except maybe, well, misery loves company. i hope things start looking better for you, someday, without a happy pill.

[Thue]

Re: I had a talk with my mother

Originally posted by Footie Mad
So I had a long talk with my mother about my depression and feelings of hopelessness and meaninglessness, the tears coming out and everything. She took it pretty hard and is now doubtful of even leaving me alone, afraid i'll do something to myself. I hurt her and she started crying afterwards, wish I had never told her now in hindsight really. I feel terrible and don't know what to do anymore, i'm still living at home and it's just the two of us here, we both affect eachother to much.

Making her cry all alone, me trying to console her with words while feeling like i was tearing apart inside of guilt. Where should i go now?
Don't know why i'm writing here just had to get it off my chest somehow.

It sound like she doesn't have the capacity to support you, instead loading you with demands when you really don't need it. Consider getting some emotionel distance from her and finding support from someone who has the ability to make you feel better. Se loves you obviously, but you need to think of yourself first when you are so far down. If it is important for you to make her feel good then consider that the best way to do that is to take care of yourself until you are on top again. It should not be your responsibility to make her feel good when you are the depressed one.

[Agathon]

Footie mad - is your team doing badly? I always get depressed when mine does.

[Japher]

Never go to your mother for help dealing with depression...

Everyone knows they're the source of all depression anyways...

Don't go to your wife either

[DaShi]

True. True.

Anyway, about a year ago, I was quite depressed over a certain event in my life. I wouldn't say that I just got over it, but I did learn to deal with it and not let it affect my life. Oddly, the one thing that pushed me over the edge to feeling truly better was watching "Azumanga Daioh" for the first time. It's general innocence and overall feel-good attitude just melted me. Despite being far from manly, I walked away feeling much better about myself and life in general. Even now, watching it can pull me out of just about any deep blue funk that may come my way.

I'm not saying that this is the thing for you, but rather you may want to discover something that moves you no matter how inane or silly it might. Something that makes you feel good. Guilty pleasures and all that.