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1. Babies R' Us:
I love Toy's R Us, they have video games, bikes, toys that you can play with, stuffed animals and you can even take the toys out of the boxes and start playing with them and then run away when some clerk comes to ruin the fun... If Toy's R Us is heaven Babies R' Us is hell! I swear, merge the normal Ikea experience with the experience of being on a plane from LA to London and sitting next to the fat foreign couple with the screaming kid, and you have Babies R Us.
In this store you have three types of people.
The first is the obese pregnant lady who looks due to drop a baby out from between her legs any second. They can't walk faster than a drunk midget and they run out of breath so fast that they have to stop every three steps. Not that I am blaming them or anything, but the morons who designed the store made the isles so narrow that you can't go around, and imagine the confussion when two of these heifers find themselves going down the same isle in opposite directions!:eeek:
The second type of person is those who just had a kid. Now I'm not going to complain about the little snots, but the parents need a good smack in the head. They spend more time ogling at their kid then they do shopping, moving, getting the hell out of the way, or paying for the small fortunes worth of CRAP that some how found it's way into their carts! I wonder how they got to the store in the first place, since they can't keep their eyes off their little "mistake" I'm sure they are unable to drive... perhaps that is the reason for the SUVs?
The third type of ppl are ppl like me. Registering for boogie suckers, rectal thermometers, and something called a "splat mat"?! We stand in awe when we learn that not only does your kid need about a billion dollars in accesseries, but another king's ransom is going to be spent on cribs and changing tables that are going to be used for like 2 years then find a nice comfortable stop in the attic or basement to eventually die of dry rot.
Then, once we realize that we aren't getting any younger and that growing old just means spending more money we take a look around, and see our next 2 years in front of our eyes. The pity we toss at the bursting mom and the misplaced annoyance we impart on the starry-eyed parents should best be placed on ourselves...
After 2 hours of this, growing tired, but realizing that your pregnant wife isn't tired in the least (even though she sleeps 25 hours a day and can't be "bothered" to walk to the store) we finally got to leave. As we do so they take your scanner and give you a list that tells you how much money you're going to extort from your friends and family, and add with a sardistic smile, "If you want to make any changes to your list you may do so online!"
Son of a Beitch! You mean I could of done all of this while sitting on arse, drinking a beer and not having to realize how screwed I am?!
I love Toy's R Us, they have video games, bikes, toys that you can play with, stuffed animals and you can even take the toys out of the boxes and start playing with them and then run away when some clerk comes to ruin the fun... If Toy's R Us is heaven Babies R' Us is hell! I swear, merge the normal Ikea experience with the experience of being on a plane from LA to London and sitting next to the fat foreign couple with the screaming kid, and you have Babies R Us.
In this store you have three types of people.
The first is the obese pregnant lady who looks due to drop a baby out from between her legs any second. They can't walk faster than a drunk midget and they run out of breath so fast that they have to stop every three steps. Not that I am blaming them or anything, but the morons who designed the store made the isles so narrow that you can't go around, and imagine the confussion when two of these heifers find themselves going down the same isle in opposite directions!:eeek:
The second type of person is those who just had a kid. Now I'm not going to complain about the little snots, but the parents need a good smack in the head. They spend more time ogling at their kid then they do shopping, moving, getting the hell out of the way, or paying for the small fortunes worth of CRAP that some how found it's way into their carts! I wonder how they got to the store in the first place, since they can't keep their eyes off their little "mistake" I'm sure they are unable to drive... perhaps that is the reason for the SUVs?
The third type of ppl are ppl like me. Registering for boogie suckers, rectal thermometers, and something called a "splat mat"?! We stand in awe when we learn that not only does your kid need about a billion dollars in accesseries, but another king's ransom is going to be spent on cribs and changing tables that are going to be used for like 2 years then find a nice comfortable stop in the attic or basement to eventually die of dry rot.
Then, once we realize that we aren't getting any younger and that growing old just means spending more money we take a look around, and see our next 2 years in front of our eyes. The pity we toss at the bursting mom and the misplaced annoyance we impart on the starry-eyed parents should best be placed on ourselves...
After 2 hours of this, growing tired, but realizing that your pregnant wife isn't tired in the least (even though she sleeps 25 hours a day and can't be "bothered" to walk to the store) we finally got to leave. As we do so they take your scanner and give you a list that tells you how much money you're going to extort from your friends and family, and add with a sardistic smile, "If you want to make any changes to your list you may do so online!"
Son of a Beitch! You mean I could of done all of this while sitting on arse, drinking a beer and not having to realize how screwed I am?!
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