SNESA - SKILORDS Never Ending Stories Apolyton

[civman2000]

uhhh...sure, but when i get home (4 hours or so)

[Rotten999]

The USSR officially condemns the Jiberyka Jihad. We will continue to support China in this difficult time. We trust that Iraq will quickly put an end to this menace.

We congratulate President Debs on his election, and look forward to renewed cooperation with the USA.

The Soviet Union urges India to halt the pointless military build-up. You're still too technologically backward to do much with your army anyway. The Soviet Union provides Japan with a nuclear warhead as a deterrent, and will continue to protect Australian Japan and Japan proper with a MPP.

Our next space program goal is a manned Mars mission, planned for sometime next year, assuming a generally peaceful climate prevails. (Aside: It pains me to pretend that manned space travel over long distances is feasible or practical, but it is in Civ3, so I'll suspend disbelief.)

[Samuel Johnson]

WOODSTOCK FESTIVAL OPENS
Peace, love and togetherness…
World leaders party like its 1999…

Walter Winchell
International Herald Tribune and Radio Free Iraq

Dateline Athens

The anticipation is over. The first night of Woodstock in Athens is ended and by all accounts it was a huge success. Security was high in the wake of terrorist threats and will remain high throughout the festival. Iraqi Republican Guard, Greek provisional police and the personal security of the world’s leaders seemed at times to outnumber the party-goers. Iraqi ships were placed on the 2nd highest state of alert (threat is highly possible) and patrolled the waters. BEER ships also provided security. BEER provided combat air patrol over the skies of Athens and once the visitors had arrived all planes but those of the other participating nation’s militaries were allowed.

Despite the tensions, many world leaders agreed that the International Woodstock festival has taken the world closer to a state of harmony. The two principal sponsors from BEER and Iraq shook hands as the head of the USSR beamed. President Hussein, accompanied by his wife Juda, was quoted as saying, “We hope those that are not here are enjoying the show on the newly created Radio Free Iraq emanating from Baghdad.” This reporter will be your host for the radio broadcast.

Friday’s festivities officially opened in the early afternoon in the makeshift amplitheater outside the areas recently cleared of damage and radiation. The beautiful Mayor Melina Mercouri, former film actress and champion of Greek culture, welcomed everyone in her speech. She noted the clean-up workers who were notably in the front rows and there were many minutes of cheering for the combined workers from Iraq, the former U.K. and the Greek protectorate of Iraq. She also noted distinguished guests from the sponsoring countries of BEER and Iraq and also distinguished guests from the USSR who sat in specially made bleachers to the right. The leaders of China, Canada and the USA were noticeably absent but had sent ambassadors or representatives. As the USA had provided a large number of the performers, she said she hoped the leaders might show up for the rest of the festival. Mayor Mercouri halted for a beat in her remarks when she saw the Egyptian represenative and she inexplicably excluded Egypt from her welcome address piquing this reporter’s interest. But overall, she was very diplomatic and made no mention of the Greek self-determination issue. She did say she looked forward to sitting in on the next U.N. session as an observer. Accompanying the vivacious and 40ish Ms. Mercouri was the wheelchair-bound Iraqi Minister of Defense, Uday Hussein.

Mayor Mercouri then introduced the first performer for the Jazz night, Mr. Louis Armstrong of New Orleans who opened, in tribute to the BEER co-sponsor with the song, “Mack the Knife.” Ms. Ella Fitzgerald of Virginia soon joined Louis and they did several entertaining duets together ending including a song dedicated to co-sponsor Camel Hussein, “Let’s Call the Whole Thing Off” and he was seen mouthing the words with the BEER president: “You say toMAYto and I saw toMAHto…”

After a short break, a Ms. Aretha Franklin and the Vandells of Detroit, USA sung many popular R&B songs that have been heard on Radio Free Iraq. The Greeks in the crowd boogied mightily to “R-E-S-P-E-C-T” and this reporter felt there was an undertone to their enthusiasm related to the Iraqi cries for Greek self-determination.
The festivities food tents were opened at 7PM for three hours and many people migrated to the great world-class banquet laid out by the country of BEER. The ruler himself served his favorite pies to the attendees. The pizza was a great hit with the crowd as many had never had it prepared with such delicacies as crab, pineapple and so on. The Republic of Iraq had a smaller tent which offered some fine modern pie delicacies such as Key Lime pie, Coconut Pie, Key Lime and Coconut pie, Peanut Butter Pie, Peanut butter and Coconut Pie and the most popular Key Lime, Coconut and Marshmellow pie. Free blue jeans were handed out to the crowd in a not-so-subtle advertising product placement by Levi Jeans of Damascus. In the Greek tent, a huge side of pork, beef and tofu served up by the hosting Greeks with pitas and Iraqi lavash was a big hit with the crowd. Greek salad was also very popular. Many people were attracted to the Freemason Sect’s Hawaii tent with their unique Polynesian food and this reporter noted several folks signing up for timeshares in these beautiful islands. The Freemasons also handed out strange glow-in-the-dark forehead pendants with Babylonian inscriptions that soon become the fashion item of the day.

At the more exclusive leader’s dinner, we were told they were entertained by the BEER Navy singers who opened up with a medley of anthems from all the participating countries. Each leader exchanged gifts representing their countries and for once the troubles and disputes of the world were put on hold.

Afterwards, Mr. Frank Sinatra and the Count Basie band entertained the crowd in the new Athens Music Hall. The crowd was amazed at the singing virtuosity of Mr. Sinatra and the tight and swinging Basie big band. They were not enamored by Mr. Sinatra’s between song patter which some found slightly offensive. The crowd who could not get into this concert was treated to live feeds of the music and there was much dancing in the streets. A late night street party concert sponsored by BEER and featuring the awesome B.B. King joined by Junior Walker and the All Stars kept the everyone up to the wee hours.

Others were there to see and be seen. Most notable was the beautiful aspiring actress, Miss Barbara Steele, who dwarfed her date, a mysterious weasel-like man from the Republic of Iraq. She was seen being introduced to the movie director Roger Corman by the Iraqi Guest Domestic Advisor, Sir Alec Guinness, who himself was accompanied by his wife, Merula Salaman well known in Iraq as an accomplished playwright and actor. And who was that charming bald-headed Russia with wire-frame glasses picking his finger nails with an icepick and looking suspiciously at everyone? Our sources say he is the powerful intelligence chief. What a surprise to see him dancing to Mr. Sinatra’s version of “I’ve Got You (Under My Skin)”! The Iraqi intelligence chief was later seen to be in serious discussion with the Russian and there was much animation. Ms. Steele said the conversation was about the Jubbiyash (sp?) Jihad.

Saturday’s featured theme is “Future Stars” and the line-up includes some very young performers: first up is the Beatles, formerly the Quarrymen, of Liverpool and then we will hear from Jimi Hendrix, a talented guitarist from Seattle. Dinner will be special, as it will supposedly include a wedding and reception for the leader of the country of BEER. The President of BEER is bringing along his own musicians who will be unannounced when they take the stage. Afterwards, everyone is invited to party as the night’s festivities feature new and, up until now, unheard sounds of “heavy metal” coming from the U.K. and the States. The bands are named Iron Maiden, Metallica and Black Sabbath. The lead singer of Black Sabbath, one teen-aged Ozzy Osborne, has been a big hit in Athens since he has arrived and Melina Mercouri spontaneously gave him the key to the city, which he then proceeded to try to eat.

Sunday’s final day will showcase popular music of the day. Everyone is excited about the handsome young Elvis Presley who will open up the show. We have heard that his stylings are considered scandalous by some of the religious conservatives and the Iraqi mullahs have boycotted the show in protest.

A threesome who will be flying in from Minnesota will also entertain us: Richie Valens, Big Bopper and Buddy Holly. All have current hits on the charts so it will be a fine rousing concert just before the final meal. The cuisine in this meal is supposedly built around Vodka imported from the USSR and fine wine imported by USA from California. During dinner, Ms. Dusty Springfield, an English waif that was discovered in the coffee houses of Netherlands, will sing some of her own songs and some songs she has written with her partner, Mr. Burt Bacharach. She is said to be debuting a new song, “The Look of Love” and after-dinner dancing is anticipated.

The post-dinner festivities will start out with James Brown in the Athens Music Hall. Mr. Brown is best known for his hit, “Papa’s Got a Brand New Bag” which is being considered as the official song of the Republic of Iraq. The closing act of Woodstock 1950s is Mr. Jerry Lee Lewis of Lousiana. The reason we were told he is closing is because, in his own combative words, “Jerry Lee does not open for ANYone. Anyone! Got that, mister?” He has raised some eyebrows in Athens with his very young wife who we understand is also a cousin. Oh, these wacky Americanos! We understand that Jerry Lee has been known to set his piano on fire by sheer force of his playing and Babylonian scientists will be monitoring the stage for any paranormal activity.

In the opinion of your opinionated reporter, nothing recedes like success. Will this moment of international harmony be brief or will it augur a new era of cooperation among the great and lesser powers?

[civman2000]

The next night, an AMerican Nationalist nuke explodes over the festival

[Samuel Johnson]

((I haven't gotten to the next night yet))


The morning after the first night, Camel took the world leaders and their diplomatic entourages on a tour of the Acropolis.

During the tour guide's spiel, Camel turned to Ivan and the Chinese Ambassador and motioned over at Senator Fareeka Rafsanjanni who was having a heated discussion with a diplomat from BEER.

"Gentlemen, do you really want to hand over this government to her?" His tone was soft but Ivan's neck muscle twitched at the somewhat dangerous undertone. The Chinese Ambassador shook his head silently. "Then, stop this nonsense about Iraqi involvement in the kidnapping of your President." Ivan looked at Camel in appraisal. Camel continued. "We do not have any spies in Canada. Mr Beria" -- Camel nodded at Beria -- "knows that." Beria made no reaction, cold as a knife.

"Saddam is an internal issue - he is delusional like I once was and believes he can engineer a coup. My biggest concern is that I think someone is assisting him." Beria's head remained as still as a cat's but, even so, everyone saw him shake his head affirmatively. "We also have all the nuclear technology we need. No gentlemen, this is as my new friend from America says," -- he motioned at Jerry Lee Lewis laughing at something the tour guide said -- "this is a frame-up."

"We have 200 of our best agents working on this problem. It is taking me away from the Saddam issue but I have it under control." He saw no reaction but went on..."do you truly think you have this American thing under control?"

Just then Fareeka came aside him: "You wanted to see me?" she said with a touch of arrogance in her tone. Camel motioned good-bye to the other nations and he went with her to an abandonded part of the building.

“Madame Senator, I know what you are up to and it won’t fly.” Fareeka expressed mock surprise. “Dear sir, if you are referring to the no-confidence resolution that will be voted on after the…” she waved her hands, “festivities, then I would suggest we take it up in the proper place and the proper time.”

Camel was angry, though, and the hangover didn’t help. “The Egyptians were in turmoil and the security at the prison was loosened,” he explained.

Fareeka scoffed, “But Camel, you made those security arrangements, didn’t you? You should have taken into account the stability of the country in which YOU placed your demented father. And exactly what was your role in this new Egyptian leader’s ascendancy? Are the rumors true? He does look a bit like …”

Camel fumed, “I had nothing to do with that. You know that. We lost a great deal of people, some of them my own Republican Guard, trying to bring that madman to justice. You really don’t understand, do you?”

Fareeka scoffed once more, “Perhaps you can explain it to me – for I am a bit distracted with all the non-Babylonians you have brought to power in our government. An Englishman serving as a GUEST domestic advisor; your FARMER wife as a foreign minister; that STRANGE man in intelligence from Gilgamesh knows where. Aren’t Babylonians allowed to run the government anymore, Camel? And that venture in Hawaii by those weird people…My ancestors are being mocked by your plans. They would have put those dissenters to death instead of sending them off to colonize!”

Camel balled his hands and looked at her with malice. She ignored him and turned away to look over the city of Athens and great crater in the middle.

“Or perhaps you too busy to notice that all the Babylonian, Arab and Assyrian Senators now support my plans to move this country to a war footing and build up our allies capabilities to fend off the coming attack from the imperialists?”

Camel threw up his hands and walked out of the room. Mordak condemn all these meddling aristocrats! Like there aren't enough problems! This would have to wait. He took his intelligence aide aside from the tour group and asked him if any progress had been made on the manhunt and then stalked away when he heard the answer.

[Samuel Johnson]

Originally posted by civman2000
The next night, an AMerican Nationalist nuke explodes over the festival

I vote against this because it potentially kills too many of other people's character but I can weave an attempted terrorist act into the proceedings. Also, just how does this nationalist slip into my security net? Did I mention that the Athens Music Hall is in an underground bunker?

[Samuel Johnson]

How about if an airplane piloted by the American nationalist and carrying Richie Valens, the Big Bopper and Buddy Holly crashes into the music hall and everyone can choose if they want their characters to die?

[Samuel Johnson]

Included in the Iraqi Woodstock gift bags to the other countries was a coffee table sized book entitled “The Atlas of Republic of Iraq.” It included the following list of the Iraqi cities and towns:

Note on the bottom of the page: A metropolis gets 3 votes in the Senate. Medium to Large cities get 2 votes. Towns to Small Cities get 1 vote. Every capital gets an extra vote that is turned in by the governor of the state. Greece participates in the Senate only as an observer and are allowed to address the Senate at any time they wish.

State of Yemen - 5 votes total

Sanaa (Capitol) (Medium sized city) (3 votes)
Aden (port) (Medium sized city) (2 votes)

State of Oman - 5 votes total

Abu Dhabi (port) (Large city) (2 votes)
Muscat (port/ Capitol) (small city) (2 votes)
Slalah (port) (Small city) (1 vote)

State of Qatar - 3 votes total

Doha (port, Capitol) (small city) (2 votes)
Al Jubayi (small city) (1 vote)

State of Kuwait - 3 votes total

Kuwait City (Capitol, port) (large city) (3 votes)

State of Saudi Arabia - 8 votes total

Riyadh (Capitol) (large city) (3 votes)
Jizan (port) (large town) (1 vote)
Mecca (small city) (1 vote)
Medina (small city) (1 vote)
Tabuk (town) (1 vote)
Bahrain (small city) (1 vote)

State of Iraq - 13 votes total

Baghdad (Capitol of Republic of Iraq) (Metropolis) (4 votes)
Nivenah (aka Karbala) (Small city) (1 vote)
Uruk (aka An Najaf) (Small city) (1 vote)
* Hometown of Senator Pro Tem Rafsanjanni
Al Kut (small city) (1 vote)
Basra (port) (medium city) (2 votes)
Karkuk (large city) (2 votes)
Ar Rutbah (medium city) (2 votes)

State of Judah - 7 votes

Haifa (port) (large city) (2 votes)
Jerusalem (capitol, large city) (3 votes)
Gaza (port) (small town) (1 vote)
Port Said (port) (small city) (1 vote)

State of Syria/Lebanon - 7 votes total

Beirut (Capitol, large city) (3 votes)
Damascus (large city) (2 votes)
Latakia (port) (medium city) (2 votes)

State of Jordan - 5 total votes
Amman (Capitol ) (large city) (3 votes)
Palestine (small city) (1 vote)
Al Aqabah (large town) (1 vote)

State of Turkey - 16 total votes
Cyprus (port, island-city) (2 votes)
Mersin (port) (medium city) (2 votes)
Antalya (port) (medium city) (2 votes)
Izmir (port) (small city) (1 vote)
Istanbul (port) (large city) (2 votes)
Ankara (Capitol) (metropolis) (4 votes)
Samsun (port) (medium city) (2 votes)
Van (town) (1 vote)

State of Southern Caucasus - 7 votes total
T’bilsi (large city) (2 votes)
Yerevan (Capitol) (medium city) (3 votes)
Baku (port) (large city) (2 votes)

State of Babylonian Hawaii (Oahu) - 2 votes total
Kish (port, Capitol) (small town)

Greek Protectorate (The Greeks have no votes in Senate but are allowed an invited observor who may address the Senate at any given time. Next year, the observer will be an elected representative but the South Eastern Greeks will not have any votes until a decision is made in the U.N. regarding self-determination.)

Aegean Islands (port) (small city)
- the Aegean islands includes Limnos, Lesvos, Khios, Andros, Tinos, Ikaria, Samos, the Cyclades, Kos, Karpathos and Rhodes.
Crete (port) (medium city)
Athens (port, Capitol) (large city – was a metropolis prior to nuclear attack)

[Samuel Johnson]

((Apologies to Quentin Tarantino - this is based on a scene from the movie, "True Romance"))

Agent Tariq Aziz crept along the industrial building just outside of the Gaza harbor. He wanted to take a look around the back before he went to the front door. So he was a bit aghast when he peeked inside and saw four henchmen, well armed and a tall Sicilian hunched over the famous hero General Novrusov from Azerbaijan. Novrusov was in charge of the nuclear program and the hairs on the back of Tariq's neck stood on end.

The Sicilian walked around the chair in which the General was tied up. “I am Ishtar. You get me in a vendetta kind of mood, and I will have you go tell your prophets and your fathers that you had never seen pure evil so singularly personified as you did in the face of the man who killed you.”

The General shook his head, “I can’t help you.”

The Sicilian slammed the General in the nose.

“Smarts, don't it? Gettin' slammed in the nose really hurts. You got that pain shootin' through your brain. Your eyes fill up with water. It ain't any kind of fun. But what I have to offer you. That's as good as it's ever gonna get, and it won't ever get that good again. We know who you are and we know what you know.

The Sicilian nodded at one of his henchman who grabbed the General’s hand and splayed it open with a knife and poured Ouzo on top of it.

The Sicilian went on, “You know. I’m a great liar. My old man was a liar and I grew up learning all the tricks. He called them pantomimes. A guy has sevenenteen. Woman’s got twenty. And I know them all. You don’t want to show me nothing but you are telling me everything. So tell me, where are they?”

Aziz put his eye up to the corner of window but froze when he heard a twig crack behind him. He kept his eye on the General but used the shiny chrome of his pistol as a mirror so he could see what was behind him. Without missing a beat, he kicked the henchman right in the gullet with a backwards motion. The man fell into a sitting position and he put his hands around his neck as he choked for air. The important thing was that he couldn’t say anything and would die silently, if not painfully. As Aziz returned his leg he kicked the man’s sidearm into the bushes.

The General seemed to have heard and his eyes shifted just slightly toward's Tariq. Suddenly the General seemed reinvigorated and put his chin forward and said, “could I have one of those cigars, now?”, motioning over to the humidor on the desk?

The Sicilian was puzzled at this change. He thought he had him beat. His eyes didn’t leave the General’s face as he reached back for a cigar and handed towards the victim.

The General, Jahangir to his friends, reached into his pocket and pulls out a lighter.

“So you're a Sicilian, huh?”

The Sicilian looked at the General intensely. “Uh, huh”
The General continued, “you know I read a lot. Especially things that have to do with history. I find that crap fascinating. In fact, I don't know if you know this or not, Sicilians were spawned by Frenchmen.

All the men stopped what they were doing and looked at General for he had just made a heinous insult.

The Sicilian smiled – but it was an I’m going to eat you smile. “Come again?”

The General plowed forward, “It's a fact. Sicilians have French blood pumpin' through their hearts. If you don't believe me, look it up. You see, hundreds and hundreds of years ago the Gauls conquered Sicily. And Gauls are Frenchmen. Way back then,
Sicilians were like those Romans in northern Italy. Blond hair, blue eyes. But, once the Gauls moved in there, they became silly clotheshounds and rioting mobs. The French did so much schtupping with the Sicilian women, they changed the blood-line forever. I find it absolutely amazing to think that to this day, hundreds of years later, Sicilians still carry that French gene. I'm just quotin' history. It's a fact. It's written. Your ancestors were Frenchmen. Your great, great, great, great, great-
grandmother slept with a Frenchie, and had a half-French kid. That is a fact. Now tell me, am I lyin'?

The Sicilian whipped out his automatic and pressed it to the General's head. When the shot went off, the General saw a momentary flash and the bullet just graze the back of his head and went right into one of the henchman's gut. The General instinctively jumped up, chair and all, making sure the Sicilian had one between his eyes and then bum-rushed the biggest gun in the room screaming like an ancient Turkish warrior.

Meanwhile, Aziz had slipped in and was hiding behind a counter pumping lead into the henchmen that had been in the kitchen preparing lasange.

When the shooting stopped, the General was lying on top of the big guy who was moaning about his groin. Aziz approached them with his gun raised.

“General?”

He heard a grunting from the bound man and loosened his ropes with one hand and the other trained on the big moaning henchman. “I thought it was you. I hope all our nuclear secrets are safe? Hmmmm?” The General looked at him impatiently. He didn't need a wise guy. The General said, “Saddam will only find another way. Knock the big guy here out. I am sure Chief Lorrey will want to talk to him. How did you find me?”

Aziz paused and said “Saddam?” See, that’s strange. I’ve been assigned to investigate Senator Rafsanjanni and her illegal money transfers ended here – in this guy’s house- I thought this was just going to be a standard investigation into corruption. You think he is tied in with Saddam and maybe the other terrorists? Because that would make…”

The General completed his sentence. “That would make it just ducky. Help me up. We need to go find Lorrey.”

[trickey]

China thank all those who support them.

To world: I would like your opinion on how to deal with these terrorists. Also, i would note that i have no hard feelings twords Iraq or do i in any way suspact them of supporting these cowerdly fools.

Chinese secretary of state, Chow Peter

[Thrusters]

To China
We should commence a special anti-terrorist organisation any and all culturs will suffer if these terrorists arent stopped and India would like to help you find your president.

Signed the leader of India
Mr.Judson

[trickey]

China is pleased to announce that Ming Chung has been returned unharmed. He has made a sttement:

To the nations of the world

I am very greatful to have been returned along with my wife unharmed. I was able to escape out of the hold of the Jiberyka Jihad. Although, i am very concerned for the safety of the peaceful world. It seems this Jihad is commited to destroying the world, they are not powerful to do it themselves, so they hoped my country would blame Irq for this and start a GIGANTIC war. I do beilieve they plan to target woodstock. They especially plan to target the more powerful nations BEER, Russia, Iraq, America and Canada. I managed to steal transcrips fromthier headquarters an will read them to you:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Commander, Our nuculear warhead will be arriving from America tonight. It will be placed in the limmosine of ________ at 0700 hundered hours and will be detinated at the closing cerimonies. Our intelligence on the inside assurs us we can get suicide bombers in with little diffculty.


Commander, "Eagle Head"

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- So, this band of terrorists either is the group who stole the nukes, or is connected to that group. Also the group has an inside man. I suggest the the leaders of the countries in charge of Woodstock be extra careful in who they choose for important positions. Also, the name of the person who they plan to plant the bomb in is not legible. I reccomend serious consideration of evacuating Woodstock. I thank Russia and Iraq for thier worries


thankful to be back, Ming Chung

[Rotten999]

Ivan Aronovich tasted blood in his mouth. He tried to stand, but found his right leg wouldn't carry any weight. A downward glance revealed the problem: his lower leg bone stuck out, covered in blood. The Premierer's head swum with pain as he glanced around the rubble. Two of his bodyguards lay dead under rubble, his wife and the third NKVD men lay motionless, hopefully only unconscious.

The Soviet Leader gave silent thanks for the discipline he'd gained serving in the Red Guard in the 40s. Gritting his teeth, with tears streaming down his face, he set the broken leg. Fighting to stay conscious, he began fashioning a crude splint from wooden splinters, noting the cuts on his arms flying debris had left.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

NKVD Commissar Beria, acting as temporary Soviet Leader suggests sending additional spies into the USA to infiltrate the terrorist network. We trust the USA will cooperate in this endeavor.

OOC additional: Great posts by Samuel Johnson today, very well written/lots of period details! One tiny correction: Ivan Aronovich is the Soviet Leader, Lavrenty Beria is the NKVD head. You switched last names. The real life Beria died in 1953, executed for high treason, but he's a little more responsible in this story.

[civman2000]

The NES seems to be going a little bit slower . Was the US accepted into the warsaw poact or not

[trickey]

(( this nes seems like it is slowly dying))