Mafia XIX - Mafia on the Nile

[Snowflake]

Oh no Mr Poirot speaks French. But of course. Lets see. Free translation ... Mesdame and Messieur. I have arrives. Or is the action? Who is dead? Which the meaning of life. Hmmm ... Very profound.

[Rasputin]

perhpa Dukei was the first victim of the mafia !!!!

[Snowflake]

Can't you detectives do something?!

[Rasputin]

Rasputin staggers around the bar, one too many drinks, he smiles in the direction of the other patrons , rhen stumbles off to find some action in the gaming lounge....

[Skanky Burns]

Poor bugger can't hold his drink.

[Tuberski]

Originally posted by Zopperoni

Too bad Tuberski isn't playing this one.

I am playing this one.

If you notice I am Ricardo Tubs, he just didn't add the second b.

ACK!

[Tuberski]

Originally posted by Kassiopeia
Since I'm a student and have nothing to do, I took the liberty of making some avatars in case someone's interested. The directory is here. David Suchet as the one and only Hercule Poirot, Basil Rathbone as the one and only Sherlock Holmes, John Thaw as inspector Morse, Derrick, two choices for Rasputin, and also two for Columbo (Peter Falk). Oh and Tubbs' afro is present as well. Which reminds me, why didn't you make Zopp Tubbs, Duke?

I am Tubbs.

ACK!

[Adagio]

Great, this looks to be a peaceful journey

[duke o' york]

Well I apologise about the blatant charade that lead to you all waiting for the first killing, but I nicked a trick out of the great Jamski tome of mafia writing and let everyone stew for a while so that at least everyone had a chance to post here and it would not be automatically obvious who the mafia was because of when the first kill order came in.
Impatient sods.
Right, now I have to write a death for Sherlock Holmes..... er, oops.


Don't start the docpile until the post has been made - please!

[duke o' york]

Chapter One - Worse things happen at sea (but not many)

The first day of the cruise wasn't particularly eventful. The detectives amused themselves by playing mafia in which Sherlock Holmes managed to off most of his fellow travellers before being caught by his friend Dr Watson. The tennis planned for the day was called off because Sonny Crockett decided that tennis was a dumb sport after all and went to leer at the Egyptian women washing their clothes in the river. Beside Jim Rockford, Rasputin, Theben Wallingford III, and pretty much most of those aboard. The sharp-eyed Egyptian washerwoman may have noticed the fez of Zopperoni wobbling around in one of the portholes as he tried to jump up and stare at them too, but Geomodder made him return to washing the floor of the engine room.

At dinner, the captain invited a selection of the guests to dine with him, and announced that the progress of the Apolyton had been so good that day that he estimated arrival in Luxor in about twenty days. Which was a record for the lumbering hulk, although M. Poirot could be heard muttering that a windsurfer would arrive sooner, even against the wind. The crew were particularly pleased with this, as it meant that they would be able to take advantage of extra time off to visit the establishment of one of Pimp Daddy's "associates" before having to return to Cairo, and their date with yet another "associate".

After dinner, the party repaired to the bar, where Skanky promised them a special treat of his own making. Being the honourable gentlemen they are, Sherlock and Dr Watson invited Miss Marple and HongHu to play a rubber of bridge with them, but after a few of the mysterious green cocktails, the wormwood got to them too, and they started arguing whether Mr Bun the Baker could possibly be trumps. It was a very noisy evening, and as the Muslim crewmen sat by with their non-alcoholic refreshments, they could at least amuse themselves by Rasputin's display of traditional Russian dancing, which seemed to be like a more destructive Greek wedding than anything Russian, and left him rolling on the floor kicking his legs more often than any dancing style they had seen before. As the gentlemen formed a lengthy queue for the honour of dancing with Miss HongHu, and she had to come up with a different excuse each time to send them away, the new-fangled "jukebox" broke and none of the more sober members of the party could stop it.

In the end everybody retired to their quarters and managed to get some fitful sleep despite the unholy racket of the Charleston on repeat play, which disturbed the duck who had taken to perching atop the ship's wheelroom and many of the river's other birdlife.

-------------------------------------------------------------

In the morning, everyone assembled for breakfast in the dining-room, but Columbo noticed that there was an empty chair. Concerned about this, he summoned the captain, and they tried to work out who was missing. Given the terrible hangovers that most of the passengers were suffering from, it was a good ten minutes before they realised that there was indeed someone missing. They went to look in cabin 27, and Dr Watson discovered the body of GhengisFarb rolled underneath the bed. Due to his medical expertise, and the presence of a pair of the standard needlework scissors, found in the drawers of every room, in his back, the good doctor announced that Sonny had been stabbed. With scissors. What looked to be about 53 times.

Needless to say, this sobered everybody up, and particularly annoyed Bulldog Drummond, who had been hoping that he could improve his topspin backhand with the help of Sonny. They returned to the dining room and the captain managed to restore order by banging Zopperoni's head against the gong in lieu of a hammer, interrupting the chatter of many detectives as they discussed possible motives and suspects.
Nuclear Master asked the passengers for suggestions: this sort of thing had never happened on his watch before, and he wasn't too keen on it happening again. He said that there was no chance of stopping the Apolyton now that it was making such good progress (well, it hadn't broken down quite yet), and the question of involving the Egyptian police was scorned by the all those aboard.
Theben Wallingford III had been inspired by the game of mafia played by the detectives the previous day, and suggested that they vote to work out who the killer was. For want of a better, or rather another, plan, this was decided upon, and they agreed to think over the matter for 24 hours and then begin voting at breakfast the next morning.

Everybody then went on their way, with several detectives heading straight for Sonny's room to look for clues, much to the delight of Zopperoni, who had been detailed the grisly cleaning-up operation by the increasingly strict Geomodder.

The clue-hunting was not particularly successful until Jim Rockford walked in, and pulled a hitherto unnoticed piece of paper out from under the bed. To be fair to the detectives, they were on holiday after all, Holmes had forgotten his magnifying glass, and the sight of many was fading, but it seemed to have been ripped from a letter in the struggle. Poirot announced that there was no point in seeking the rest of the letter because the killer had doubtless thrown it overboard when they realised it had been ripped, but on the fragment that remained could be made out three words:

coming to
Olympic

This gave them all much to think about, and they went about their way mulling over the events of the previous evening and trying to spot their co-travellers acting suspiciously.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

24 hours to vote!

[duke o' york]

Name

Job

Status



1. Skanky Burns

Barman

Alive



2. Jamski

Oberinspektor Derrick

Alive


3. ADG

Inspector Morse

Alive


4.
Zopperoni

Deck hand

Alive


5. Ljcvetko

Sherlock Holmes

Alive


6. Nuclear Master

Captain

Alive


7. Rah

Jim Rockford

Alive


8. Theben

Billionaire Industrialist

Alive


9. Joncha

Pimp Daddy

Alive


10. GJRamsey

Purser

Alive


11. Spaced Cowboy

Columbo

Alive


12. Kassi

Miss Marple

Alive


13. Tuberski

Ricardo Tubbs

Alive


14. Jon Miller

Bulldog Drummond

Alive


15. GhengisFarb

Sonny Crockett

Stabbed 53 times


16. Guynemer

Chief Inspector Maigret

Alive


17. Snowfire

Lord Peter Wimsey

Alive


18. Rasputin

er, Rasputin!

Alive


19. HongHu

Beautiful heiress

Alive


20. DrSpike

Doctor Watson

Alive


21. Hercules

Hercule Poirot

Alive


22. Octavian X

Earl of Octavian

Alive


23. Pave

Duc de Pavelles

Alive


24. Geomodder

First mate

Alive


25. Chaunk

Charlie Chan

Alive


26. Jonny

Secret Agent

Alive

[Adagio]

Originally posted by duke o' york
(...) but it seemed to have been ripped from a letter in the struggle. Poirot announced that there was no point in seeking the rest of the letter because the killer had doubtless thrown it overboard when they realised it had been ripped (...)
Olympic

Looks like Hercule Poirot has something to hide... as he found it, he knew he had forgotten to throw it overboard, so he quickly came up with an excuse not to search for it...



You have to start somewhere

[duke o' york]

Hurrah! After an hour and a half, finally we have someone brave enough to post!

I apologise for the first clue. When I reveal the clue you'll kick yourselves me, but the mystery has to start somewhere. And in this case, it began with the killing of GF by the brutal mafia.

[Theben]

No, I say it was Tubbserski, as he was tired of Sonny getting all the girls and glory.

*Harumph* This is quite good fun! I need an apertif to celebrate my deductive skills.

/me claps hands

Now where has that serving boy go off to?

[GhengisFarbâ„¢]

IT WASN'T the MAFIA!

I killed myself! If you were named after a cross between Sonny Bono and Davy Crockett your Davy Crockett half would kick your Sonny Bono half too!

Unless you were French, they you would probably be used to despising yourself...... which would be it would probably be the Poirot guy.

Or maybe Shmuck Holmes seeing as Dr Watson was all by himself when he discovered the body.........