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STANDARDIZED BONEHEAD REPLY FORM
(check all boxes that apply)
Dear:
[X] Clueless Newbie [ ] Lamer [ ] Lame-ass Flamer
[ ] Luser [X] Spammer [ ] Troller
[ ] "Me too" er [ ] Pervert [X] Geek
[X] Idiot [X] Nerd [ ] Elvis
[ ] Racist [ ] Fed [ ] Freak
[ ] Fundamentalist [ ] Satanist [ ] Homeopath
[ ] Unbearably self-righteous person [ ] Lazy Student
I took exception to your recent:
[ ] Email [X] Postings to ____Apolyton_ACS___________.
(newsgroup)
It was (check all that apply):
[X] Lame [ ] Stupid [ ] Abusive
[X] Clueless [ ] Idiotic [X] Brain-damaged
[ ] Imbecilic [ ] Arrogant [ ] Malevolent
[ ] Contemptible [ ] Libelous [ ] Ignorant
[X] Boring [ ] Dim [ ] Cowardly
[ ] Deceitful [ ] Demented [ ] Self-righteous
[ ] Crazy [ ] Weird [ ] Hypocritical
[ ] Loathsome [ ] Satanic [ ] Despicable
[ ] Belligerent [ ] Mind-numbing [ ] Maladroit
[ ] Much longer than any worthwhile thought of which you may be capable.
Your attention is drawn to the fact that:
[ ] You posted what should have been emailed
[ ] You obviously don't know how to read your newsgroups line
[ ] You are trying to make money on a non-commercial newsgroup
[ ] You self-righteously impose your religious beliefs on others
[ ] You self-righteously impose your racial beliefs on others
[ ] You self-righteously impose your luserish beliefs on others
[ ] You self-righteously impose your parasitic beliefs on others
[ ] You directly flamed me after I plonked your tushie
[ ] Moreover, I could do it better than you
[ ] You looked a gift horse up the arse
[ ] Posted what has been done before
[ ] Not only that, it was done better the last time
[ ] You told me to hit "DELETE"
[ ] You showed intelligence off the deep end of the bell curve
[ ] You used the phrase "Information Superhighway"
[ ] You used HTML to post to news
[ ] You backed up *nothing* you said
[ ] Not only that, I could argue your case better than you
[ ] You are eligible for the John M. Grubor Memorial Award
[X] Nobody likes you
[X] This has been pointed out to you before
[ ] You posted a binary in a non-binaries group
[ ] You don't know which group to post in
[X] You posted something totally uninteresting
[ ] You crossposted to *way* too many newsgroups
[ ] I don't like your tone of voice
[ ] You quoted an *entire* post in your reply
[ ] Your signature is over 4 lines, the net standard.
[ ] You started a long, stupid thread
[ ] You continued spreading a long stupid thread
[ ] Your post is absurdly off topic for where you posted it
[X] It was an advertisement for a Web site
[ ] You only gave the URL besides
[ ] You used the same, stupid URL as the title
[ ] You justified it with a "broader audience" excuse
[ ] You posted a followup to crossposted robot-generated spam
[ ] You posted a "test" in a discussion group rather than in alt.test
[ ] You posted a "YOU ALL SUCK" message
[X] You posted an artfully disguised equivalent of a "YOU ALL SUCK" message
[ ] You posted low-IQ flamebait
[ ] You posted a blatantly obvious troll
[ ] You followed up to a blatantly obvious troll
[ ] You posted an "official notice" to someone, as if it had any weight
[ ] You posted an "official notice" to the whole group, as if it had any
weight
[ ] You threatened to sue someone
[ ] For something ridiculous
[ ] Multiple times
[ ] You cried "libel"
[ ] You said "me too" to something
[ ] You make no sense
[ ] Your sig/alias is dreadful
[ ] You must have spent your life in a skinner box to be this clueless.
[ ] You posted a phone-sex ad
[ ] You posted a stupid pyramid money making scheme
[ ] You claimed a pyramid-scheme/chain letter for money was legal
[ ] You forwarded a stupid chain letter
[ ] And you formatted it badly
[ ] Tried to justify the fact that you sent it
[ ] Just forwarded it without saying anything at all
[X] You posted in ELitE CaPitALs to look k0OwL
[ ] You posted a message written in ALL CAPS, and you don't even own a TRS-80
[ ] Your post was FULL of RANDOM CAPS for NO APPARENT REASON
[ ] You have profoundly ignorant wrt the purpose of this newsgroup
[ ] You have profoundly ignorant wrt the purpose of the Internet
[ ] You have profoundly ignorant
[X] You are a luser
[X] This has been pointed out to you before
[ ] Being killfiled you insisted on your right to be listened
[ ] You had followuped the *PLONK*
[ ] You tried to play SpeedBump with your From: line
[ ] And made him look intelligent in comparison with you
[ ] You made several Last Postings To This Group(tm)
[ ] You claimed to be USENET veteran, demonstrating the clue level of
average WebTV user
[ ] You didn't do anything specific, but appear to be so generally
worthless that you are being flamed on general principles
It is recommended that you:
[X] Get a clue
[X] Get a life
[X] Go away
[ ] Grow up
[X] Never post again
[ ] Read every newsgroup you posted to for a week
[ ] stop reading Usenet news and get a life
[ ] stop sending Email and get a life
[X] Bust up your modem with a hammer and eat it
[ ] Do your own homework
[ ] Have your medication adjusted
[ ] Jump into a bathtub while holding your monitor
[ ] find a volcano and throw yourself in
[ ] Return your stupid WebTV set
[X] get a gun and shoot yourself
[ ] Actually post something relevant
[ ] Read the FAQ
[ ] stick to FidoNet and come back when you've grown up
[ ] stick to AOL and come back when you've grown up
[ ] stick to WebTV and come back when you've grown up
[X] Apologize to everybody in this newsgroup
[X] consume excrement
[X] consume excrement and thus expire
[ ] Post your tests to alt.test/misc.test
[X] Put your home phone number in your ads from now on
[X] Refrain from posting until you have a vague idea what you're doing
In Closing, I'd Like to Say:
[X] You need to seek psychiatric help
[X] Take your gibberish somewhere else
[ ] *plonk*
[ ] Learn how to post or get off Usenet
[X] Most of the above
[ ] All of the above
[X] Some of the above, not including All of the above
[ ] You are so clueless that I didn't even bother filling in this form
[X] Have a nice day.
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