Rasputopian Issues

[Rasputin]

Government Acts
The Issue
In response to increasing costs of running state prisons, several government advisors have suggested allowing the private sector to play a greater role in managing Rasputopia's correctional facilities.

The Debate
"Rasputopia's prisons are in a ghastly state," says Jennifer Wong, representative for several large businesses. "The state now pays a fortune in bliblis each day for every prisoner. My clients will be able to operate the prisons more efficiently and charge the state far less than they're having to pay now. With our help, those in jail will be able to get themselves jobs to do and the government can imprison as many people as they like!"

This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.


"This is just another scheme by multinational corporations to turn our great nation into a corporate dictatorship!" claims Elizabeth Rifkin, of the Social Justice League of Rasputopia. "Just say NO to privatised prisons. We should be closing them all down so we can begin focusing on rehabilitation anyway!"
[Accept]


"Private prisons?! Rehabilitation?! How utterly ridiculous!" exclaims Falala Jong-Il, Rasputopia's toughest police officer. "Both of these proposals will simply waste resources on the scum of society. I say that we should summarily execute all violent criminals and give their property to their victims."
[Accept]

[Rasputin]

Government Acts
The Issue
Rasputopia's upcoming hosting of a major international beauty pageant has upset some citizens concerned about the message it puts across.

The Debate
"These beauty pageants are a disgrace to women everywhere!" shouts feminist campaigner, Max O'Bannon. "They objectify the female body and re-enforce negative stereotyping! They celebrate the appearance instead of the personality! What message is this sending out to our children? Do we want them to think shallowness and vanity are virtues? Ban beauty contests! We must focus the education of our progeny on ethics and equality or suffer the consequences!"
[Accept]


"I agree that the pageants should be banned," pontificates renowned moralist, the Ever So Slightly Reverend Pete Winters. "But purely in the name of moral decency! All those fashion stores that sponsor these contests make lots of money from this blasphemy and that is just plain wrong! These women wear revealing clothing that seek to entice and seduce young men. As such, we should go a step further, and institute a dress code! Long, plaid skirts for the girls, with necklines that never drop below the base of the neck! Only then will the women of our nation be cleansed of sin!"
[Accept]


"What in the name of all that's decent and good are you talking about?" exclaims Hope Jones, leader of the egalitarian civil rights movement 'Everyone Is Equal, Dammit'. "Obviously these pageants will always be sexist unless they're open to everyone. Admiring women only for their beauty is an insult to their intelligence and the beauty of men! It's dually sexist! Open up the pageant to both sexes!"

This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.

[Rasputin]

Government Acts
The Issue
Due to the recent capture of a foreign terrorist in Rasputopia, high-level military officials want the government to authorize torture to extract information about other terrorist activities.

The Debate
"Torture is the only way that we can get these idiots to tell us anything," says General Pip Clinton of Rasputopia's special forces division. "After all, violence is the only shared language we have with these scum."

This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.


"Are you kidding?" states political activist Melbourne Thiesen. "Torture never works. If anything, it should be outlawed. What do we want to become, genocidal maniacs?
[Accept]


"There's nothing wrong with torture, but we can't make it too obvious," says Secretary of Defense Colin Broadside. "How about we simply ask them nicely, and then, if they don't tell us, we kill them? That's better just from the intimidation."
[Accept]

[Rasputin]

Government Acts
The Issue
After a recent high-profile case of a minority student being refused admission to a traditional, prestigous college, civil rights activists, conservatives, and teachers are up in arms about affirmative action and ethnic equality in education.

The Debate
"This is just another attempt to discriminate against people of color," declares civil-rights activist, former TV commentator and unabashed publicity speaker Abraham Li. "If people are disadvantaged in their upbringing they they should be given an 'equal' chance to succeed in college."
[Accept]


"The affirmative action programs aren't necessary at all," rejoins conservative speaker and hair care product salesman Beth Gutenberg. "If you really want to treat everyone equally, as you claim, how can you support special treatment for a few so-called minority groups? Besides, it would cost even more money to enforce."

This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.


"I think you are both looney," says Violet Longbottom, professor of liberal arts at Rasputopia National University. "All education should be open to everyone regardless of their grades in high school, economic status or academic prowess. Free college education should be available to every citizen of Rasputopia, no matter what the cost!"
[Accept]

[Rasputin]

Government Acts
The Issue
More and more, citizens are drinking before getting behind the wheel. A group of concerned citzens wants something done.

The Debate
Chastity King, head of Rasputopia's chapter of Alcoholics Anonymous, says that drunk drivers need help. "Alcoholism is a nasty thing, a disease. The government has to help these poor souls to avoid the temptations of liquor, and wine, and beer, and hard cider, and brandy, and?" His eyes get a glazed far off look, "Where was I? Oh right, we have to help these people, not imprison them."
[Accept]


"That's lovely," says Bill Winters, a noted anti-alcohol advocate, "In a perfect world where rehab fixes everything. But this is the real world, and it doesn't bring back the victims. Drunk drivers kill people every day. If they take other's lives, the government must take theirs!"

This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.


"All of those plans attack the symptoms, not the disease," says Minister of Transportation Faith Frederickson, "Alcohol is a curse, a poison sent by the Devil to tempt mankind. We cannot trust people to make decisions for themselves. The only answer is prohibition. Ban alcohol completely."
[Accept]

[Rasputin]

Government Acts
The Issue
Vocal members of the Moral Minority have been complaining and petitioning the government about the new art gallery displaying several provocative nude portraits by several famous artists. Moral Minority members claim these pieces of work promote prostitution and indecent sexual acts.

The Debate
"Stop my children from looking at smut! These artists are only perverts pretending to be artists! Think of the children!" says Melbourne Utopia, proud parent and member of Mothers Promoting Purity. "These artists are only going to rouse our innocent children to commit grotesque acts of immorality! Get rid of it all!"
[Accept]


"Well, I see that point, but we certainly don't need to ban inoffensive art, still lifes of inanimate objects and such," says your sister, Peggy Shiomi. "Perhaps we should set some guidelines for what is acceptable as art and what isn't. Artistic renditions of people getting it on are one thing. A bunch of fruit in a decorative bowl is another entirely."
[Accept]


"That is censorship!" says noted art history teacher Jennifer Gutenberg. "You can't ban art! It's freedom of expression; it's part of our culture. If anything, the government should be supporting these artists and their work, not listening to these prudish whackjobs who are scared of a little bare skin!"

This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.

[Rasputin]

Government Acts
The Issue
Recently, medical insurance premiums across the nation have been skyrocketing following several highly-publicised medical-malpractice lawsuits, making it even costlier than ever to get treatment. Doctors are asking the government to step in.

The Debate
"These lawsuits are driving up the price of medical insurance," complains Dr. Akira Chicago. "I'm losing customers - patients, I mean - and it's becoming increasingly difficult for doctors like me to do our jobs without worrying about being bankrupted by some kid who didn't like the hospital food. Everyone makes mistakes. Look at politicians, they make them all the time and do they get fired? No. We must outlaw the medical-malpractice lawsuits undermining our healthcare system!"
[Accept]


"All that these doctors are interested in is saving their own necks," says Pete Jefferson, CEO of 'I Can't Believe It's A Law Firm!'. "They were negligent in the course of their work and are unwilling to pay the price. I mean, how do you perform a heart transplant on the wrong guy unless you're not paying attention? I for one think that our citizens deserve better from the healthcare service, and if doctors cause damage, they should pay for it. It's that simple. If some decent doctors get caught up in it, then it's surely their own fault for not being careful enough?"

This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.


"The problem is capitalism," insists Abraham Love, while trying to burn a blibli with a lighter. "The doctors are only trying to help their patients, and those class traitors at the insurance industry are only trying to make a profit out of people's misery on those rare occasions when things go wrong. I say we outlaw the insurance industry and then the good doctors will be safe while the bad ones go out of business. Everyone wins! Apart from the insurance people, I guess."
[Accept]


"The problem certainly is capitalism," says Jack Broadside, a famed socialist. "But outlawing the insurance industry will not solve the main problem: the healthcare system itself! It's disgusting! I've seen paramedics check wallets before injuries! We must introduce a national health service and put some healthy investment into medical colleges, hospitals, and the likes. Then we'll have an over-abundance of competent doctors! The insurance industry won't be able to raise a finger to it and the citizens won't have to pay for treatment. Except through tax, of course."
[Accept]

[Rasputin]

Government Acts
The Issue
Scientists at a private medical research laboratory have announced that they have produced a drug which will combat Rasputopia's most notorious malady - Spon Plague.

The Debate
"This pill is the only known and unknown cure for the Spon Plague!" proclaims Professor Sue-Ann Johnson, the inventor of the cure. "But if we are to go ahead with the production of this drug, we must get some government support. We're set to make a fortune from this drug - the money we earn will help us develop even more cures for other as-yet untreatable diseases. Some people won't be able to afford it of course, but hard cheese on them: they should have got a paying job while they were still capable."

This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.


"That's a disgraceful way to think!" says equal rights activist, Faith Bush. "So the people who need the most help shouldn't get any? I propose that the government subsidises the production of all drugs so everyone can benefit from them, rich or not! That way the money-hungry corporations won't profit from the suffering of the masses. Of course there will be the matter of a small tax rise to fund it - but what's that when lives will be saved?"
[Accept]


"I can't believe what I'm hearing," deplores well-respected religious leader, Max Bush. "If God didn't want people to have this disease he wouldn't have created it in the first place. This is completely against the will of God and if the government allows this drug to go on sale we will all be doomed to an afterlife in a dark and fiery place! Now let's end this madness and abolish the production of pharmaceuticals and drugs altogether!"
[Accept]

[Rasputin]

Government Acts
The Issue
Due to the ongoing wars in neighboring countries, a recent rash of illegal immigrants have been caught at the borders of Rasputopia, prompting many citizens to call for tighter immigration laws.

The Debate
Anne-Marie Falopian of the Rasputopia National Purity League says "These illegal aliens are just an eyesore with their strange customs and funny languages. Uneducated immigrants like these only worsen crime and steal valuable jobs! I say we should boot them all out on their ears and put a big fence around the country!"
[Accept]


Fleur Summers of the Rasputopia Civil Liberties Union says "We must welcome these refugees from any nation into our open arms, they are fleeing one oppressive dictatorial regime in the only way they know, we must not let them think they're jumping from the frying pan into the fire!"

This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.


"Hold on there, hold on people!" says Konrad Wu of the Rasputopia Broadcasting company, "We don't have to take either extreme, all we have to do is make a TV game show out of it! We put deadly obstacles on the border and monitor it with television cameras! Those that make it across win freedom and citizenship, and those who don't, well, lets just say that our buzzards won't starve. We could call it 'Who Wants to be an Immigrant?'!"
[Accept]

[Rasputin]

Government Acts
The Issue
Recent studies showing that the sources of Rasputopia's most common street crimes (vandalism, muggings, joyriding, and witchcraft) are children under the age of criminal responsibility has prompted a national outcry for government action.

The Debate
"These damned hooligans are running wild on our streets!" splutters hard-nosed Sergeant Jack Jong-Il of the police force. "My overworked officers can't cope anymore! Everywhere we look we're being surrounded by mobs of unruly children! I need you to give me and my officers the power to dish out punishment to these little hoodlums. I don't care how young these kids are - they need to learn to behave properly as soon as possible. Even if it requires a short jail sentence of ten years or so."

This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.


"The last thing we need is a police force that prosecutes, convicts, AND sentences young kids!" yells outraged Child Welfare Officer Gregory Utopia. "These youngsters are merely children being playful! Let them learn from their own mistakes! You can't tell me you weren't ever naughty when you were that young! Experience is the tree from which learning is a fruit, remember, and besides: the taxes needed to round them all up would be murder."
[Accept]


"Hah! Yeh're lookin' at this the wrong way!" says Beth Dredd, an elderly pensioner, hobbling up to you and poking you in the chest with a walking stick. "When I was wee, and if I was caught breakin' the law, me dad would've beaten seven types of bahoola out of me! If a kid's gone maladjusted and started nickin' cars and whatnot, look at the parents and punish them for not bringin' the tiny scions up right! Yeh can't blame a kid for the environment they were raised in an' that's that!"
[Accept]

[Rasputin]

Government Acts
The Issue
A group of 'concerned compatriots' (Citizens Raging Against the Police) have protested against the enormous numbers of policemen enforcing the law on their daily lives.

The Debate
"I'm constantly surrounded by over-zealous policemen!" deplores Sue-Ann Nagasawa, a spokesman for the group. "Just last week I was arrested for letting my baby cry too loudly in public! This is ridiculous! The government needs to cut back the police force and let citizens get on with their lives without interference! If that means allowing muggers, thieves, burglars, pickpockets, murderers and all the rest to not have coppers breathing down the back of their necks constantly then so be it! This really is too much!"
[Accept]


"You can't listen to what they're saying!" gasps Police Chief Al Steele, horrified. "These nuts would have us living in utter anarchy! If some robbers suddenly decide to break into a shop and steal everything, what's the owner going to do? What could anyone do without a well-funded police force? There has to be justice and law or we'd be nothing better than a bunch of savages. Stick to your guns, I say, and let me arrest these subversives - people need to be taught to show some respect!"

This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.

[Rasputin]

Government Acts
The Issue
Concerned mothers and nervous school-leavers are petitioning the government to abolish compulsory military service.

The Debate
"Our children are forced to be trained to murder!" protests George W. Hanover, chairman of the Parents Against All Things Violent organisation. "For too long now the government has been snatching away our children and training them to become killing machines. This arcane practice must be banned at once! Sure, some of them could end up breaking into cars or terrorising old people, but hey, kids will be kids, right?"
[Accept]


"What a preposterous idea!" scoffs Drill Sergeant Jean-Paul Mistletoe. "The youth of Rasputopia has never needed the discipline provided by the armed forces more than it does today, and with all those rogue states out there we need all the recruits we can get! If anything, the government should lengthen the required service and drop the minimum age to something more reasonable."

This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.

[Rasputin]

Government Acts
The Issue
An anonymous society of 'cinematic aficionados' have brought the debate over the proposed disposal of the watershed, the hour after which adult material is allowed to be shown on television, to your attention.

The Debate
"We don't need a watershed!" scoffs 'romantic-movie' buff, Johann Bush. "I don't see why I should wait 'til way past midnight to watch my preferred film genre. It's high time that parents stopped treating their children like... well, children! If you sugar-coat these kids' lives, they'll just end up seeing everything through rose-tinted glasses - and we can't have a country filled with spoilt brats now, can we?"
[Accept]


"This is an endorsement of bad taste if ever I saw it," says Calvin Jones, a child-care worker. "It's just wrong to subject children to graphic violence and nudity on afternoon television like this: who knows what it might possess them to do? We've all heard stories of kids who have seen some film where someone jumped off a cliff and then gone off to have a shot themselves. We must ban all violent and salacious material from our TV screens. If only to protect the innocence of our progeny!"

This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.

[Rasputin]

Government Acts
The Issue
The popular daily cartoon strip "Barry the jumbuck" has always been highly critical of the political system within Rasputopia, but in recent weeks the cartoon has depicted the main characters throwing melted cheese at unpopular politicians. Inspired by this, protestors armed with fondue sets stormed a government building, cheesing off several government officials.

The Debate
"It's just a bit of harmless fun!", says Anne-Marie Jefferson, creator of Barry the jumbuck, while spraying your advisors with melted cheddar. "If the government were doing a better job people wouldn't feel the need to throw cheese at them. We should be free to express our displeasure in any way we choose. Besides, my cartoon books are selling like hot cakes, and that's got to be good for the economy, right?"

This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.


"This has got to stop!" insists May Clinton, head of the censorship board. "I spent 3 hours this morning scraping wensleydale out of my hair! Arrest these lunatics! The protestors and the people responsible for this vile cartoon, throw them all into jail!"
[Accept]


"Arrrrrgh!" screams lactose-intolerant Al O'Bannon, a member of the public safety board, as incoming rounds of mature gouda smash the windows and claim the suits of several nearby advisors. "As I've been saying for many years now, cheese is a dangerous weapon in the wrong hands and should be outlawed. Ban all cheese now, and enforce it!"
[Accept]

[Rasputin]

SPACE HERE WE COME

The Issue
The recent popularity of a science-fiction TV show has prompted calls for Rasputopia to develop its own space program.

The Debate
"Don't tell me space colonies wouldn't be cool," says excited fifth-grade teacher Faith Spirit, still wearing big Spock ears from his last convention. "Think of how they would galvanize the national population! And there would also be some kind of scientific benefit, probably."
[Accept]


"The project certainly is feasible, but very expensive," says Rasputopia Space Agency Head Peggy Washington. "We could make it less of a burden on the taxpayers if we sought funding from private industry -- advertisements on the side of our rockets, selling contracts to the Arms Manufacturing industry, that kind of thing."

This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.


"If God had meant Man to fly, he would have given us solid rocket boosters instead of legs," says religious type Klaus Johnson. "We should not be looking to the stars, but rather inside our own hearts. That's why we should abandon this so-called space program, and instead make the teaching of religion mandatory in all schools."
[Accept]