Coup in Arkatahten : A New Corruption

[arkatahten]

At first, the official statement coming out of Arkatahten was that everyone in the nation was dead. No one believed this as official statements don’t come from dead people. However, most members of the Arkatahten delegation at the Noblesse Summit did die from small explosions in their heads and fires were reported to be burning all over that country. Reports from the Noblesse are that at least five members of that delegation survived.

Once the presence of the Arkatahten Air Force established no-fly zones near the borders of the nation, the government could no longer deny that people still existed there. They issued another announcement.

-----------------------------------------

Announcement from the Free Government of Arkatahten:

To the nations of Apolyton,

I, Grand Commander Panahk-Wosreht of Arkatahten, wish to inform you that the Holy Empire is no longer in existence and has been replaced by the Free Government instead.

Reports from this nation were questionable during the change in government. It was reported, for instance, that all citizens were destroyed by electronic obedience devices embedded in their brains. It is true that some Arkatahtens did die in this fashion, but the numbers were greatly overstated. All deaths were highly targeted in order to ensure a smoother transition of power.

The Holy Emperor Arkatahten is dead. His messages, of electronic origin and tied to the aforementioned chips, have ceased to transmit. We are pleased to inform the world that the nation of Arkatahten is now free from mind control.

Now, I must sign off to begin indoctrination courses for all my new subjects.

Respectfully,
Arkatahten Grand Commander Panahk-Wosreht

[Squeblish Nef?]

To: Grand Commander Panahk-Wosreht
From: The Tooled-Up Sultanate of Al Mastif
The Tooled-Up Sultanate of Al Mastif enquires whether Arkatahten wishes to keep their position in the triumvirate.
We are sure you'll make the best decision for your nation, for in these uncertain times, unity is a necessity.
As is corporal wellbeing.
You have been warned.

[arkatahten]

To: The Tooled-Up Sultanate of Al Mastif
From: Grand Commander Panahk-Wosreht

There is no reason why the death of the Holy Emperor and his religious empire should mean the end to the agreement between our countries. All assets are secure and transports well-guarded.

The Free Government welcomes more details.

Best regards,
Panahk

P.S. You have been warned back. We are a small dog but we like to use our teeth.

P.P.S. Enclosed please find fifty cases of rum and fifty cases of vodka. Our present to you.

[Urban Ranger]

Small explosions in people's heads?

[Squeblish Nef?]

Yum!

[Mr. President]

The nearest Karakas interest to the Realm of Arkatahten was a cargo plane carrying game software products. Abruptly, radio contact was cut off.

"Hello? Realm of Arkatahten? Anyone read me?"

"They must be hazing the new guys," muttered the pilot.

But about an hour later, they entered the edge of the realm of Arkatahten's airspace. Three slick fighter jets soared up to meet them. "Welcome to Arkatahten. This area has been designated a no-fly zone. Please set down at the secure airfield. Your cargo will be collected there. Do not attempt to fly anywhere else, or we will shoot you down. Have a nice day."

[Squeblish Nef?]

Heh, if they were flying over Al Mastif, their cargo would be confiscated.

[arkatahten]

"So," said the customs official, "I see you flew around Al Mastif to get here. I guess that kept your cargo secure, eh?"

The pilot looked at the official like he were an idiot.

"Alright, alright, it was just a little joke. I know it doesn't make much sense since Al Mastif is to the east of here, but...sigh...anyway, everything looks in order. The new government will be happy to accept these software products. Just sign here and here, and I'll sign right here."

[arkatahten]

Prodigal Son

In his newly acquired palace, Grand Commander Panahk-Wosreht shook his head. Why was Ka-Babel returning to Arkatahten so soon. His mission wasn't over aboard the Noblesse and yet word had come that he was already preparing his departure from that vessel. He claimed that nothing more could be accomplished by his being there and that family business called him home.

Damn it, thought Panahk-Wosreht, why wasn't Ka-Babel falling into line. There had been no calls of congratulations, no thanks you's for deliverance from the Church, nothing. Ah well, Babel would come around or he would die. Either way, his transport would be met by soldiers of the Free Government, and his intent, good or ill, would become known.

[Rasputin]

Some Former Minister of Auldonina (whos name is withheld to protect his family) did write the following in repsons to the change in this region .


".. umm yes this is good , i think ... "

[arkatahten]

Some Arkatahten official whose name is too inexplicable to pronounce wrote back, "Yes, thank you, and how are you today?" This man was an idiot, but he did not represent all of the people in Arkatahten.

[Rasputin]

unfortunatly there were no translators for Auldonina into arkatakten and the point of the response was totally lost...


some low level clerk in intellgnece did say he thoguht the Arkkatahten's note said

".. hi we love you and wish you would impregnate us.."

but his thoughts were ignored as he was a bit strange anyway...

[Squeblish Nef?]

Hey, Raspie!
Want to invade Arkyland?

[Rasputin]

think it your turn to conquer the world squib !!!


im more into making love not war now !!

[Squeblish Nef?]

DON'T WANT TO KNOW