Emerald Cove Issues

[Paddy]

Throughout the island people have been rallying for better rights for women.

Even the men are there to help these gals get there way - or could that be his

[Paddy]

Life lessons can be learnt the hard way

or accepted as is....

[Paddy]

Low level youth crime is a good thing...

and something our people are quite proud of

yet being a party island - a holiday island for so many nations is leaving some negative influences on some sectors of our youth

these lads have just completed there 1st year University Exams, and feel that they really do portray the island motto of

Party Party Party

Yet many parents have been quite disturbed by this growing trend for the youth to let it all hang out

[Paddy]

One of the ways we have kept control of crime is through our effective Justice System

To say that I am proud of the various members of the Justice System is an understatement

So it is with great pleasure that I have bestowed Police Officer Lucy McDonough with the Kings award for Creative Parking

[Paddy]

training has been very thorough for our pups

no matter the temptation - these dogs know that cat has loonnng claws

[Paddy]

Popular Childrens Television program announces thanks giving special...

Children throughout the island were so excited to be able to sit through a great afternoons entertainment with these much loved characters

on a side note, concern is starting to be raised for the lose of one of the original characters, we hope to be able to bring you further information as this situation develops

[Paddy]

A major policy here on Emerald Cove is that, apart from emergency services, cars are not welcome inside our city centres.

So it is with saddness that we anounce the death of Theodore Threadbare, cart horse of the Blueberry Wild flower chain

Theodore will be buried with full honours in the coming days.

Emergency services were quickly on the scene, unfortunatley they were unable to save Theodore.

Both occupants of the automobile also died.

[Paddy]

Golf

Gentlemen Only - Ladies Forbidden

[Urban Ranger]

Originally posted by Paddy the Scot
training has been very thorough for our pups

Oh yeah, I love that photo

[Paddy]

The Issue
Recently, medical insurance premiums across the nation have been skyrocketing following several highly-publicised medical-malpractice lawsuits, making it even costlier than ever to get treatment. Doctors are asking the government to step in.

"The problem is capitalism," insists Johan King, while trying to burn a rock with a lighter. "The doctors are only trying to help their patients, and those class traitors at the insurance industry are only trying to make a profit out of people's misery on those rare occasions when things go wrong. I say we outlaw the insurance industry and then the good doctors will be safe while the bad ones go out of business. Everyone wins! Apart from the insurance people, I guess."

This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.

[Paddy]

The Issue
Scientists have announced they are close to a breakthrough in their quest to revive the feather-bellied rock wallaby, a species related to Emerald Cove's national animal that has been extinct for more than a century.

"Now, come on," says Freddy Fellow, well-known philosopher. "You don't need to be religious to be unnerved by the top of this particular slippery slope. Today it's rock wallabys, tomorrow it's dinosaurs, and we all know how that turns out. This research shouldn't be banned, but there must be strict government controls over its use."

This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.

[Paddy]

The Issue
A group of Greenpeace protesters have called for an end to a government proposal to begin damming rivers in Emerald Cove to increase water supplies and generate power.

"Think before you open your mouth," says engineer Lars Shiomi. "While Emerald Cove may have to pay the price in animal diversity, as well as adverse effects on the environment, do we really want fossil-fuel based plants polluting Emerald Cove? If you use your common sense, I think you'll find that damming some rivers would be a good idea. Plus, think of how much the economy would benefit from all the jobs these projects would create."

This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.

[Paddy]

The Issue
Many people are starting to think that it's time to put term limits on elected officials, given the average age of 70 years old and 40 years of service in the nation's Parliament.

"It's time to get these lifetime politicians off the government payroll!" says term-limits advocate Chastity Li "Let them get real jobs like the rest of us once they leave office. Besides, if they are currently a Senator, they can always run for another office like Governor. This gives people the right to elect whomever they want to run for office, just not the same office forever. It'll keep things from going completely stale!"

This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.

[Paddy]

The Issue
After a recent spate of high-profile lawsuits against corporations concerning the safety of their products, corporations have appealed to the government to change the laws of compensation.

"I'm almost inclined to agree," muses Jazz Broadside, a nearby firefighter. "People really should know better than to dry their cats in the microwave oven. But it's also that microwave oven that should not start a fire if one leaves it running overnight. Let's just put higher national safety standards in place that all products must be certified to meet. The extra expense shouldn't worry people if it's the difference between life and death after all."

This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.

[joncha]

Should I be alarmed that my goverment has adopted the same positions as Paddy's?