UnO's demogame holiday challenge

[UnOrthOdOx]

The Demogame Challenge.

The seasons change, It's that time of year
The Holidays once again are near.

The crowds, the shopping, the smiles, the cheer,
How I hate it all, where the hell's my beer?

And demogames turn my thoughts once more
To the bizaar history I've had with them before

Holidays, hastles, a demogame war
And that one other thing, always in store

This be just a teaser, a sample, a preview
It's coming once more, a poem all new.

However this time, I wish to discover
Who else out there, has talents to uncover.

So lets all create a holiday treat
A poem, a rhyme, to each other greet

Pictures, or video, baking as well
Whatever you wish, just display and tell.

We'll vote for the best, once holidays renig
and to the winner shall go, a line in my sig.

-UnOrthOdOx.

[UnOrthOdOx]

Some past history with me and demogames and christmas for those of you not in ye ole Civ III games.

The first attempt, set to "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" in case it's not obvious.

How the Glory of War Stole the Peace Deal
By the Glory of War

Every Stormian
Down in Estonia
Liked their peace deal a lot...

But the Warmongers,
Who lived just West of Estonia,
Did NOT!

The Warmongers hated Peace Deals! The whole peaceful posting!
No, they all liked their wars, and War Chickens for Roasting.
It could be that their heads weren't screwed on quite right.
It could be, perhaps, that their armor was too tight.
But I think that the most likely reason to date
May have been that their stomachs lacked food on their plate.

But,
Whatever the reason,
Whether armor or tummy,
They went riding for chicken, it looking quite yummy,
Staring out from their hills with rumbling belly
At the plump clucking War Chickens and Stormian jelly.
For they knew that the enemy shared similar vices:
Honor, Pride, original herbs and spices.

And they've called for a meeting!" Aggie proclaimed with a grin.
"Claiming a wish to ally, to help us to win!"
Then he growled with a curse mocking this greeting,
"I MUST find a poor soul, perhaps two, to attend to this meeting!"
For, the meeting, he knew...

...All those attending, Stormians or not
Would be stuck in the chatroom. Patiently awaiting to talk.
And then! Oh, the Talk! Oh, the Talk! Talk! Talk! Talk!
That's one thing he hated! The TALK! TALK! TALK! TALK!

Then the Stormians, and Warmongers alike, would sit down to hash.
And they'd hash! And they'd hash!
And they'd HASH! HASH! HASH! HASH!
They would start on the border, and who got the west or the east!
A concept that he knew some warmongers would not stand for, at least!

And THEN
They'd do something most appalling of all!
All Stormians present, or active at all
Would stand firm in their stance, no sign of bowing.
They'd stand so steadfast. "Roleplay must live" they'ld be vowing!

They'd vow! And they'd vow!
AND they'd VOW! VOW! VOW! VOW!
And the more King Aggie thought of the Stormian-Roleplay-Vow.
The more that he thought, "Why is this happening now?
"Why twas not long ago we gave them a chance or two!
I MUST send someone to keep their cool
...But WHO?"

Then he got an idea!
An awful idea!
KING AGGIE
GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA!

"I know just who to send!" King Aggie grinned making for his PM box.
And he made a quick message to Master Zen and to 'dOx.
And he chuckled, and clucked, "What a great Warmonger team!
"With UnOrthOdOx and Zen, what info we could ream!"

"I'll make up the outline..."
UnO exclaimed with some pride.
Believing in his heart, on organization all would ride.
And they sat there for hours....
when UnOrthOdOx finally said,
"Can we get to a point, I need to get to bed!"
For several hours he sat, digesting all that he read
Where GS took hours, UnO took five minutes instead.

THEN
With the chat all finished
The proposals wrote up
The Warmongers went home
And they slapped a vote up.

Then Ghengis cried out
"I can't live with this junk!
Just look over at Roleplay,
All Spain smells like skunk!"

It was outside of Pamplona, down in some trees
GS forces had gathered, responding to Spain's pleas
But soon ND forces ran down and slaughtered with ease.
"Look down on all those chickens" Old King Aggie spat
"They're ripe for the plucking, we can't miss on that."

The warmongers flew from the Alamo with glee.
And joined in with ND in the mass killing spree.
They fought possessed, spurred on with hunger pain,
and soon the WarChickens were falling like rain.
Donegeal looked over the carnage, he knew what to do.
"These Chickens," he grinned, "Will be just great in a stew!"

They felt not but respect, as the War Chickens they plucked.
GS had fought hard, their choice of allies just sucked!
Nuggets! And Stews! Ratatouille! Buffalo Wings!
They ate Curry! Marsalla! Dijon! a la King!
And they stuffed all their faces. It all tasting quite yummy.
And they went to bed that night, each one with a full tummy!

And Darekill went out to the forum, with a poem he wrote.
He posted it up, not of ND meaning to gloat.
But OPD was watching and as quick as a flash.
"Why" he replied "do you guys keep posting this trash!"

This angered UnOrthOdOx, enough to make his lips quiver.
"Oh GS!" He went and shouted, "Go cry me a River!"

And GS gathered 'round OPD, perhaps some thought it a sport
And soon sides were exchanging each in fiery retort.
As the forum errupted for all out there to see!
It gained the attention of all, even the one known as NYE.

And both sides lobbed volleys by those who were bitter
Or perhaps from a few not wanting to be dubbed as a quitter.
Asleepatthewheel attempted to get some sanity back,
As he called out for peace and to pass the prozac.

But, you know, that old UnO was just an ornery old grouch
“Removing GS is my quest” he did vouch
"I’m tired of them, as they save whereitsat’s life”
"It’s even come to a point where they’ve pissed off my wife.”
"I made them an offer I felt fair not long ago.”
"I wonder if it’s looking better to them yet, or no?"

And not many seemed to care for this recent upheaval
Nor of UnOrthOdOx or of his portrayal of evil.
In the end what they thought he could care less,
And only the slightest remorse did he feel for starting this mess!

To the game all minds turned
The situations to assess.
And the Glory of War sought at last to progress.
And the fled from the Alamo praying to the RNG for success.

And they found forces of GS
All camped out on a hill
They went into the fight, hoping for more chickens to grill.


Then
They enjoyed once again
A feast of chickens and jelly

And they smiled
And they laughed
Once again with food in their belly!

It was back on the forum...
The old bastard spoke
MrWhereItsAt, still in hiding
and he posted a joke,
A plea to “save roleplay! The Pope! And the squid!
The stench! And even that woman with beard! Let none forbid!”

And there in the forum, the one that is secret,
Ennet rode in wearing his allecret.
Sounding quite eloquent with his rhymes and his prose.
And Donegeal there a suggestion did propose
And Ennet went to the public with a fine dissertation
And posted it up before every nation
Then waited to see whether met with contempt or elation.

"Oh brother," grumbled UnO,
with a grimace and a growl.
”As soon as they see it all of GS will cry foul.”
And he watched and he waited, looking for any reply.
That would in some way wrong doing imply...

But the replies weren’t mocking!
Why, they sounded quite pleasant!
It couldn't be so!
But it WAS, at least from those present!

He stared down at Estonia!
Old UnO popped his eyes!
Then he shook!
What he saw was a shocking surprise!

Every Stormian down in Estonia, the short and the grown,
at least all of those who made themselves known
They didn’t seem to angry it seemed!
They laughed!
And it appeared that they actually sat down for a draft!

And old ‘dOx, with his brows furrowed in a row,
Stood puzzling and puzzling: "How could it be so?
I don’t see complaints! I don’t see any flames!
"They aren’t so much as calling out names!"
And he puzzled three hours, `till his puzzler was sore.
Then Old UnO thought of his tattered rapport,
"Maybe this forum," he thought, "I don’t need to ignore.
"Maybe...perhaps...I just got a bit too grumpy before!"

From whence would this poem come...?
Well...in GoW they say
That UnO’s bottled anger,
just seemed to melt right away!
And when he saw all the others delight,
He locked himself in the private forum to write.
Inspired by the likes of WhereItsAt and of Ennet!
that he...

...HE HIMSELF...!
UnOrthOdOx sat down to pen it!

[UnOrthOdOx]

The second, obviously set to "Twas the night before Christmas", Precisely 1 year later. 1 year without a DAMN THING going on in the demogame. Then world war broke out just before December.

The Dawn Before D-Day
by UnOrthOdOx

'Twas the Dawn before D-Day, all 'cross the land,
All of Lego lay dreaming, how space would be grand;

Their cities were great, their production unmatched,
All because their island had started detached;

Their game had been fair, their diplomacy nice,
If anything, you could say that this was their one vice;

And Kloreep with his food, Vondrack with his plans,
Were confident they could defeat all the other clans,

When off of the shore came GoW planes Bombing,
Sending all those poor kittens off for embalming.

And Tiberius went to raise the alarm,
"Won't anyone help save the cows on our farm?"

When a glorious site showed up on the shore,
Two mighty navies, with transports galore,

They rallied the navy, a mighty blow they struck
though GS still claimed it was all just pure luck,

With a cunning maneuver, so sneaky and slick,
A fort city, they hoped, would do just the trick.

Imposing the site, Lego's army did display,
But Master Zen was not about to dismay;

"Now, Crossing! Camp David! Horsefish and Panama!
Ahhmyfoot! Sharehaven! Kloreep and Zargonia!

Now into their cities! And over their wall!
Now Pillage! Now Rampage! They all shall fall!"

As outside of Fort Stanwix, the GoW army stood,
Old Aggie smelled blood, and was up to no good,

So up to the sky the bombers they flew,
With bombs for the kittens, and Old Aggie too.

And then, in the distance, a sound as of thunder;
Ghengis had his artillery firing asunder.

As the smoke fin'ly cleared, assault began at large,
With none other than Hot Enamel leading the charge.

He was dressed all in black, from his head to his foot,
And his tanks were all tarnished with ashes and soot;

Waves of Marines, he had at his side,
Going from house to house, no place to hide.

His eyes -- how they twinkled! His mouth how it sneered!
With a wave of his hand, the whole town disappeared!

With a need for the populace to enamor,
UnO himself rode into Port Hammer;

With greed in his eyes and showing no remorse,
He took over the town still using his sword and his horse;

GoW moved 'cross the land both lucky and swift,
Causing Lego to look more than just a little miffed.

As reality set in, it may have all been in vain,
Had it not been for a transport, captain insane;

What a strange twist, I think it must be fate,
The major wars in this game all end ‘round this date;

Who knows, perhaps it’s simply my mission,
A new poem a year, a holiday tradition,

Of a Play the World Demogame war,
And all the activity they seem to restore;

Join with me now as we raise glass in holiday cheer,
To a fine Lego opponent, in the war of the year!

But I say to you now, next year I may write,
How an ICBM finally removes WhereItsAt from my sight!

Some of these are lost, ya had to be there, type references, of course.

[UnOrthOdOx]

Then, in the PTWDG, I took a different tak, and posted up a cavalcade of recipes. Being on Team Tabejin, it seemed fitting.

http://apolyton.net/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=103636

http://apolyton.net/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=103671

http://apolyton.net/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=104250

http://apolyton.net/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=104251

[Beta]

An Early Haiku

Restless spirits prowl

through visions of war and peace;

the snow covers all.

[Beta]

And now a request - does anyone have a good recipe for Hermit Cookies?

[UnOrthOdOx]

Out of curiousity, I looked those up....

And see cold coffee in the recipe.

Not being a coffee drinker, it just sounds horrid.

[Beta]

Originally posted by UnOrthOdOx
Out of curiousity, I looked those up....

And see cold coffee in the recipe.

Not being a coffee drinker, it just sounds horrid.

Not the Hermit Cookies I know.

[UnOrthOdOx]

From Cooks.com

HERMIT COOKIES

1 c. soft shortening
2 c. firmly packed brown sugar
2 eggs
1/2 c. cold coffee
3 1/2 c. sifted flour
1 tsp. baking soda
1 tsp. salt
1 tsp. nutmeg
1 tsp. cinnamon
2 1/2 c. seedless raisins, soaked in 1/2 c. brandy or rum overnight

Cream shortening and gradually beat in sugar and eggs. Stir in cold coffee. Sift together flour, soda, salt, nutmeg and cinnamon, mix all together and stir in raisins. Chill at least one hour. Drop rounded teaspoons on lightly greased baking sheet. Bake in hot oven, 400 degrees, about 8 to 10 minutes. Makes 6 dozen.

However, a hobby of mine is reanimating OLD recipes, as you would know if you read some of the tabejin links. As such, I'll present these for you. From Homemade-desert-recipes.com. A site specializing in old recipes.

Hermit Cookies
This old-time hermit cookie recipe is taken from the book "Dr. Chase's Third, Last and Complete Receipt Book, Memorial Edition" by Dr. Alvin Wood Chase, M.D., published by F. B. Dickerson Company, Detroit and Windsor, in 1891.

Brown sugar, 1-1/2 cups; 3 eggs; butter, 1 cup; raisins, chopped, 1 cup; sour milk, 2 tablespoonfuls; soda, 1 teaspoonful; cinnamon, nutmeg, cloves, and allspice, of each 1/2 teaspoonful; flour enough to roll out; cut as in cookies.

God this thing is beautifull. Sour milk, no measurement on flour, "allspice", no time or temp for baking, and written all wierd.

Gorgeous recipe.

From my experience with such types of recipes from the same time period, my advice:

Buttermilk can be substituted for the sour milk. Whole milk will even work, but not taste right.

Chances are, you'll need a specialty store for allspice unless your grocers are better than our local ones.

Grind the cloves. (Kinda obvious, but figured I better mention it as I'm not even sure they come ground in the store)

"Flour enough to roll out" Keep adding flour till it's not sticky. I live at high altitude, so can't help all that much on this measurement, but in my experience it's roughly the same as the sugar measurements.

Time and temp....

Go with 350 to start. It's a good generic cookie temp. If the edges burn before the centers are done, you'll want to increase it. And 7-10 minutes is a safe time guestimate.

Hermit Cookies
This hermit cookie recipe is taken from "Miss Parloa's New Cook Book" by Maria Parloa, Principal of The School of Cooking in Boston, published by Estes & Lauriat, Boston, in 1880.


Two cupfuls of sugar, one of butter, one of raisins (stoned and chopped), three eggs, half a teaspoonful of soda, dissolved in three tablespoonfuls of milk; a nutmeg, one teaspoonful each of clove and cinnamon, and six cupfuls of flour. Roll about one-fourth of an inch thick, and cut with a round cake cutter. Bake in a rather quick oven. It will take about twelve minutes. --Mrs. L. C. A.

Another beauty. A cake cutter would yield a massive 6" cookie!

I GUARANTEE that measurement is for SIFTED flour.

"A nutmeg" translates to about 1/2 tsp.

So:

2C Sugar
1C Butter
1C chopped raisins
6C SIFTED flour
1tsp cloves
1tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp nutmeg
3 TBL milk
1/2 tsp baking soda

So, my strong reccomendations would be:

Cream butter and sugar, add in flour, cloves, cinnamon, and nutmet, mixing thuroughly. In a seperate bowl, dissolve the soda into the milk. Add in the eggs and soda mixture, likely wanting to switch to a bread mixer at this point. Finally stir in the raisins.

"Rather quick oven"

This should translate to 375 to 400. However, this is needed for baking the massive 6" cookie. If you go with more traditional sizes, stick to 375, and I'ld check at the 10 min mark.

I may even try this second one, it's piqued my interest that much.

[Beta]

Originally posted by UnOrthOdOx
God this thing is beautifull. Sour milk, no measurement on flour, "allspice", no time or temp for baking, and written all wierd.

Gorgeous recipe.

And no coffee!!!

Thanks Uno. I will give it a try. Thanks for the research!

[Beta]

btw - researching old recipes is certainly, well, unorthodox.

[UnOrthOdOx]

I find the old recipes are typically so much better. They just tend to take longer.

Besides, the challenge of figuring them out is quite fun and rewarding.

con can testify to the rewards of my figuring out that old mix recipe in one of the tabejin links. Even though he ended up getting yet another experiment on it last year, as I couldn't find enough ingredients to make as much as I needed. I think even the experiment turned out pretty damn good. There's elements in it I'll probably reuse for the versions I bring in to the office next week.

Anyone have a good peanut brittle recipe, btw?

When showing my wife the Hermit cookie recipe she reminded me I had promised my Grandma to figure out some Peanut Brittle this year, after my caramel at Halloween turned out so perfect.

[conmcb25]

Originally posted by UnOrthOdOx
con can testify to the rewards of my figuring out that old mix recipe in one of the tabejin links. Even though he ended up getting yet another experiment on it last year, as I couldn't find enough ingredients to make as much as I needed. I think even the experiment turned out pretty damn good. There's elements in it I'll probably reuse for the versions I bring in to the office next week..

ya it was pretty dam good

Thanks again UnO

[Beta]

Ask the mother-in-law ...

Why you ask? To start with, she has a great hermit cookie recipe.

Secondly, you score an incredible amount of brownie points, so that although you may have already had a good lead on the other son-in-laws, this launches you into an unassailable lead.

Originaly posted by UnO ...

Originaly posted by UnO ...Chances are, you'll need a specialty store for allspice unless your grocers are better than our local ones.

No problem here. The local grocery store (Loblaws Superstore) had allspice. Two brands in fact - McCormick and Club House. Sort of have a preference for McCormicks.

Got all my other ingredients as well. Will be baking tomorrow. And will post my mother-in-law's recipe.

Still intrigued with that coffee recipe though ....

[UnOrthOdOx]

The only problem with that being my mother in law seriously sucks in teh cooking department.

Well. Unless you want a chocolate cake or brownie recipe.

Quite literally, she asked why on earth I wanted a spice rack back when we were getting married. She uses salt and pepper, pretty exclusively.

And virtually everything I cook is 'too spicey' for that side of the family.

Hell, they buy MILD salsa. May as well be using ketchup.

It took a few years, but my wife has come around to not only accepting, but enjoying more spices in foods, and even experimenting with the spice rack herself.

She'll even eat Indian food now.