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  • UnO's Workshop

    Just ignore this. It's home for my poem as I work on it.


    Couldn't find a good Christmas poem that was good, long, and made sense in english. So, I'm going back to Dr Seuss and hacking up the Cat in the Hat.

    Since they don't have THAT one printed online for me to copy-paste....I gotta manually type it in...

    The Cat in the Hat

    The sun did not shine.
    It was too wet to play.
    So we sat in the house
    All that cold, cold, wet day.

    I sat there with Sally.
    We sat there, we two.
    And I said, "How I wish
    We had something to do!"

    Too wet to go out
    And too cold to play ball.
    So we sat in the house.
    We did nothing at all.

    So all we could do was to
    Sit!
    Sit!
    Sit!
    Sit!
    And we did not like it.
    Not one little bit.

    And then
    something went BUMP!
    How that bump made us jump!

    We looked!
    Then we saw him step in on the mat!
    We looked!
    And we saw him!
    The Cat in the Hat!
    And he said to us,
    "Why do you sit there like that?"
    "I know it is wet
    And the sun is not sunny.
    But we can have
    Lots of good fun that is funny!"

    "I know some good games we could play,"
    Said the cat.
    "I know some new tricks,"
    Said the Cat in the Hat.
    "A lot of good tricks.
    I will show them to you.
    Your mother
    Will not mind at all if I do."

    Then Sally and I
    Did not know what to say.
    Our mother was out of the house
    For the day.

    But our fish said, "No! No!
    Make that cat go away!
    Tell that Cat in the Hat
    You do NOT want to play.
    He should not be here.
    He should not be about.
    He should not be here
    When your mother is out!"

    "Now! Now! Have no fear.
    Have no fear!" said the cat.
    "My tricks are not bad,"
    Said the Cat in the Hat.
    "Why, we can have
    Lots of good fun, if you wish,
    with a game that I call
    UP-UP-UP with a fish!"

    "Put me down!" said the fish.
    "This is no fun at all!
    Put me down!" said the fish.
    "I do NOT wish to fall!"

    "Have no fear!" said the cat.
    "I will not let you fall.
    I will hold you up high
    As I stand on a ball.
    With a book on one hand!
    And a cup on my hat!
    But that is not ALL I can do!"
    Said the cat...

    "Look at me!
    Look at me now!" said the cat.
    "With a cup and a cake
    On the top of my hat!
    I can hold up TWO books!
    I can hold up the fish!
    And a litte toy ship!
    And some milk on a dish!
    And look!
    I can hop up and down on the ball!
    But that is not all!
    Oh, no.
    That is not all...

    "Look at me!
    Look at me!
    Look at me NOW!
    It is fun to have fun
    But you have to know how.
    I can hold up the cup
    And the milk and the cake!
    I can hold up these books!
    And the fish on a rake!
    I can hold the toy ship
    And a little toy man!
    And look! With my tail
    I can hold a red fan!
    I can fan with the fan
    As I hop on the ball!
    But that is not all.
    Oh, no.
    That is not all...."

    That is what the cat said...
    Then he fell on his head!
    He came down with a bump
    From up there on the ball.
    And Sally and I,
    We saw ALL the things fall!

    And our fish came down, too.
    He fell into a pot!
    He said, "Do I like this?"
    Oh, no! I do not.
    This is not a good game,"
    Said our fish as he lit.
    "No, I do not like it,
    Not one little bit!"

    "Now look what you did!"
    Said the fish to the cat.
    "Now look at this house!
    Look at this! Look at that!
    You sank our toy ship,
    Sank it deep in the cake.
    You shook up our house
    And you bent our new rake.
    You SHOULD NOT be here
    When our mother is not.
    You get out of this house!"
    Said the fish in the pot.

    "But I like to be here.
    Oh, I like it a lot!"
    Said the Cat in the Hat
    To the fish in the pot.
    "I will NOT go away.
    I do NOT wish to go!
    And so," said the Cat in the Hat,
    "So
    so
    so...
    I will show you
    Another good game that I know!"

    And then he ran out.
    And, then, fast as a fox,
    The Cat in the Hat
    Came back in with a box.
    A big red wood box.
    It was shut with a hook.
    "Now look at this trick,"
    Said the cat.
    "Take a look!"

    Then he got up on top
    With a tip of his hat.
    "I call this game FUN-IN-A-BOX,"
    Said the cat.
    "In this box are two things
    I will show to you now.
    You will like these two things,"
    Said the cat with a bow.

    "I will pick up the hook.
    You will see something new.
    Two things. And I call them
    Thing One and Thing Two.
    These Things will not bite you.
    They want to have fun."
    Then, out of the box
    Came Thing Two and Thing One!
    And they ran to us fast.
    They said, "How do you do?
    Would you like to shake hands
    With Thing One and Thing Two?"

    And Sally and I
    Did not know what to do.
    So we had to shake hands
    With Thing One and Thing Two.
    We shook their two hands.
    But our fish said, "No! No!
    Those Things should not be
    In this house! Make them go!
    "They should not be here
    When your mother is not!
    Put them out! Put them out!"
    Said the fish in the pot.

    "Have no fear, little fish,"
    Said the Cat in the Hat.
    "These Things are good Things."
    And he gave them a pat.
    "They are tame. Oh, so tame!
    They have come here to play.
    They will give you some fun
    On this wet, wet, wet day."

    "Now, here is a game that they like,"
    Said the cat.
    "They like to fly kites,"
    Said the Cat in the Hat

    "No! Not in the house!"
    Said the fish in the pot.
    "They should not fly kites
    In a house! They should not.
    Oh, the things they will bump!
    Oh, the things they will hit!
    Oh, I do not like it!
    Not one little bit!"

    Then Sally and I
    Saw them run down the hall.
    We saw those two Things
    Bump their kites on the wall!
    Bump! Thump! Thump! Bump!
    Down the wall in the hall.

    Thing Two and Thing One!
    They ran up! They ran down!
    On the string of one kite
    We saw Mother's new gown!
    Her gown with the dots
    That are pink, white and red.
    Then we saw one kite bump
    On the head of her bed!

    Then those Things ran about
    With big bumps, jumps and kicks
    And with hops and big thumps
    And all kinds of bad tricks.
    And I said,
    "I do NOT like the way that they play
    If Mother could see this,
    Oh, what would she say!"

    Then our fish said, "Look! Look!"
    And our fish shook with fear.
    "Your mother is on her way home!
    Do you hear?
    Oh, what will she do to us?
    What will she say?
    Oh, she will not like it
    To find us this way!"

    "So, DO something! Fast!" said the fish.
    "Do you hear!
    I saw her. Your mother!
    Your mother is near!
    So, as fast as you can,
    Think of something to do!
    You will have to get rid of
    Thing One and Thing Two!"

    So, as fast as I could,
    I went after my net.
    And I said, "With my net
    I can get them I bet.
    I bet, with my net,
    I can get those Things yet!"

    Then I let down my net.
    It came down with a PLOP!
    And I had them! At last!
    Thoe two Things had to stop.
    Then I said to the cat,
    "Now you do as I say.
    You pack up those Things
    And you take them away!"

    "Oh dear!" said the cat,
    "You did not like our game...
    Oh dear.
    What a shame!
    What a shame!
    What a shame!"

    Then he shut up the Things
    In the box with the hook.
    And the cat went away
    With a sad kind of look.

    "That is good," said the fish.
    "He has gone away. Yes.
    But your mother will come.
    She will find this big mess!
    And this mess is so big
    And so deep and so tall,
    We ca not pick it up.
    There is no way at all!"

    And THEN!
    Who was back in the house?
    Why, the cat!
    "Have no fear of this mess,"
    Said the Cat in the Hat.
    "I always pick up all my playthings
    And so...
    I will show you a another
    Good trick that I know!"

    Then we saw him pick up
    All the things that were down.
    He picked up the cake,
    And the rake, and the gown,
    And the milk, and the strings,
    And the books, and the dish,
    And the fan, and the cup,
    And the ship, and the fish.
    And he put them away.
    Then he said, "That is that."
    And then he was gone
    With a tip of his hat.

    Then our mother came in
    And she said to us two,
    "Did you have any fun?
    Tell me. What did you do?"

    And Sally and I did not know
    What to say.
    Should we tell her
    The things that went on there that day?

    Should we tell her about it?
    Now, what SHOULD we do?
    Well...
    What would YOU do
    If your mother asked YOU?
    One who has a surplus of the unorthodox shall attain surpassing victories. - Sun Pin
    You're wierd. - Krill

    An UnOrthOdOx Hobby

  • #2
    In this post, you'll see it slowly transform as I edit in my own stuff. The original above os for my reference. All changes will be noted in red, and will not be from start to finish, but all mixed up as they come to me.

    Team Merc with a smirk

    Civ IV had come out.
    We were still learning.
    And a demogame years
    would be slow, slow, turning.

    I sat there with Kloreep.
    We sat there, we two.
    And I said, "You and I,
    Should go start something new!"

    With many to choose
    And a few that returned.
    It was looking pleasant.
    for all those concerned.


    For all the teams wanted to
    Win!
    Win!
    Win!
    Win!
    As it had always been,
    lacking much spin.

    But OUR
    Team we did hint!
    Will be bought in a stint!

    We looked!
    As tradition the team did shirk!
    We looked!
    And we made them!
    Team Merc with a Smirk!
    And We said to them,
    "Is the only goal to win?"
    "We know it's a game
    And you all wish to win.
    But we can add
    parhaps an int'resting spin!"

    "We can hire on on contracts, see,"
    Said Team Merc.
    "We'll hire out our troops,"
    Said Team Merc with a Smirk.
    "A lot of good troops.
    Provided, we assume,
    You're wishing
    to bring about another's doom."

    Then the others just
    Did not know what to say.
    Should they all say no or
    Let us play?

    But Beta said, "No! No!
    Make team Merc go away!
    Tell team Merc with a Smirk
    You do NOT want to play.
    They should not be here.
    When not trying to win.
    They should not be here
    Stop it now 'fore we begin!"

    "Now! Now! Have no fear.
    Have no fear!" said Team Merc.
    "The concept's not bad,"
    Said Team Merc with a Smirk.
    "Why, we can add
    Here a lovely concoction,
    with a proposal to have
    A great person auction!

    "No you don't!" said Beta.
    "This is no good at all!
    "No you don't!" said Beta.
    "It's EXPLOIT I do call!"

    "No Exploit!" said Team Merc
    "Let's have none of that.
    We would make a profit
    without needing combat
    Perhaps with a new tech!
    Equal the Great Person's work!
    But that is not ALL we can trade!"
    Said Team Merc...

    "Think of it!
    Think of it now!" said Team Merc.
    "With a tech and some cash
    You get a G. P.'s Work!
    We could trade for TWO techs!
    We could trade it for cash!
    Or a small army!
    If we're feeling quite brash!
    Just think!
    Doesn't the idea enthrall!
    But that is not all!
    Oh, no.
    That is not all...

    "Think of it!
    Think of it!
    Think of it NOW!
    It would be a great sale
    Open to all, we do vow.
    We can sell for a tech
    Or some cash but of course!
    We can exchange for troops!
    Whether on foot or horse!
    We can trade a G. P.
    for one of your own!
    It adds! How it adds
    To the Demogame!
    It adds fun to the game
    Just think of us a mall!
    But that is not all.
    Oh, no.
    That is not all...."

    That is what Team Merc Said...
    But the forum did not!
    they posted a team vote
    Complete with each detail.
    And Kloreep and I,
    We saw the proposal fail!


    And Beta came down, too.
    He fell into a pot!
    He said, "Do I like this?"
    Oh, no! I do not.
    This is not a good game,"
    Said our fish as he lit.
    "No, I do not like it,
    Not one little bit!"

    "Now look what you did!"
    Said the fish to the cat.
    "Now look at this house!
    Look at this! Look at that!
    You sank our toy ship,
    Sank it deep in the cake.
    You shook up our house
    And you bent our new rake.
    You SHOULD NOT be here
    When our mother is not.
    You get out of this house!"
    Said the fish in the pot.

    "But I like to be here.
    Oh, I like it a lot!"
    Said the Cat in the Hat
    To the fish in the pot.
    "I will NOT go away.
    I do NOT wish to go!
    And so," said the Cat in the Hat,
    "So
    so
    so...
    I will show you
    Another good game that I know!"

    And then he ran out.
    And, then, fast as a fox,
    The Cat in the Hat
    Came back in with a box.
    A big red wood box.
    It was shut with a hook.
    "Now look at this trick,"
    Said the cat.
    "Take a look!"

    Then he got up on top
    With a tip of his hat.
    "I call this game FUN-IN-A-BOX,"
    Said Team Merc.
    "In this land are two Teams
    I will tell to you now.
    You can guess the two Teams,"
    Said Team Merc with a bow.

    "We met them both early.
    When the game was still new.
    Two Teams. And We call them
    Team One and Team Two.
    These Teams were quite pleasant.
    They wanted to win."
    When, right off the bat
    Came Team Two and Team One!
    And they ran to us fast.
    They said, "How do you do?
    Would you help us to kill
    That Team One and Team Two?"

    And us poor Mercs
    Did not know what to do.
    So we hired out troops
    To Team One and Team Two.
    We shook their two hands.
    But Beta said, "No! No!
    You can't hire to them
    Against us! Tell them no!"
    "We hired you first
    unless you forgot!
    Tell them No! Tell them No!"
    Said Beta on the spot.


    "Have no fear, little fish,"
    Said the Cat in the Hat.
    "These Things are good Things."
    And he gave them a pat.
    "They are tame. Oh, so tame!
    They have come here to play.
    They will give you some fun
    On this wet, wet, wet day."

    "Now, here is a game that they like,"
    Said the cat.
    "They like to fly kites,"
    Said the Cat in the Hat

    "No! Not in the house!"
    Said the fish in the pot.
    "They should not fly kites
    In a house! They should not.
    Oh, the things they will bump!
    Oh, the things they will hit!
    Oh, I do not like it!
    Not one little bit!"

    Then Sally and I
    Saw them run down the hall.
    We saw those two Things
    Bump their kites on the wall!
    Bump! Thump! Thump! Bump!
    Down the wall in the hall.

    Thing Two and Thing One!
    They ran up! They ran down!
    On the string of one kite
    We saw Mother's new gown!
    Her gown with the dots
    That are pink, white and red.
    Then we saw one kite bump
    On the head of her bed!

    Then those Things ran about
    With big bumps, jumps and kicks
    And with hops and big thumps
    And all kinds of bad tricks.
    And I said,
    "I do NOT like the way that they play
    If Mother could see this,
    Oh, what would she say!"

    Then our fish said, "Look! Look!"
    And our fish shook with fear.
    "Your mother is on her way home!
    Do you hear?
    Oh, what will she do to us?
    What will she say?
    Oh, she will not like it
    To find us this way!"

    "So, DO something! Fast!" said the fish.
    "Do you hear!
    I saw her. Your mother!
    Your mother is near!
    So, as fast as you can,
    Think of something to do!
    You will have to get rid of
    Thing One and Thing Two!"

    So, as fast as I could,
    I went after my net.
    And I said, "With my net
    I can get them I bet.
    I bet, with my net,
    I can get those Things yet!"

    Then I let down my net.
    It came down with a PLOP!
    And I had them! At last!
    Thoe two Things had to stop.
    Then I said to the cat,
    "Now you do as I say.
    You pack up those Things
    And you take them away!"

    "Oh dear!" said the cat,
    "You did not like our game...
    Oh dear.
    What a shame!
    What a shame!
    What a shame!"

    Then he shut up the Things
    In the box with the hook.
    And the cat went away
    With a sad kind of look.

    "That is good," said the fish.
    "He has gone away. Yes.
    But your mother will come.
    She will find this big mess!
    And this mess is so big
    And so deep and so tall,
    We ca not pick it up.
    There is no way at all!"

    And THEN!
    Who was back in the house?
    Why, the cat!
    "Have no fear of this mess,"
    Said the Cat in the Hat.
    "I always pick up all my playthings
    And so...
    I will show you a another
    Good trick that I know!"

    Then we saw him pick up
    All the things that were down.
    He picked up the cake,
    And the rake, and the gown,
    And the milk, and the strings,
    And the books, and the dish,
    And the fan, and the cup,
    And the ship, and the fish.
    And he put them away.
    Then he said, "That is that."
    And then he was gone
    With a tip of his hat.

    Then our mother came in
    And she said to us two,
    "Did you have any fun?
    Tell me. What did you do?"

    And Sally and I did not know
    What to say.
    Should we tell her
    The things that went on there that day?

    Should we tell her about it?
    Now, what SHOULD we do?
    Well...
    What would YOU do
    If your mother asked YOU?
    One who has a surplus of the unorthodox shall attain surpassing victories. - Sun Pin
    You're wierd. - Krill

    An UnOrthOdOx Hobby

    Comment


    • #3
      Feel free to comment as I mutilate the thing.
      One who has a surplus of the unorthodox shall attain surpassing victories. - Sun Pin
      You're wierd. - Krill

      An UnOrthOdOx Hobby

      Comment

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