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**UnOrthOdOx** · December 5, 2006, 09:29

THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS
by Clement Clarke Moore

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse;

The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there;

The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads;

And mamma in her 'kerchief, and I in my cap,
Had just settled down for a long winter's nap,

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.

Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below,

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer,

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick.

More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now, Dasher! now, Dancer! now, Prancer and Vixen!
On, Comet! on Cupid! on, Donder and Blitzen!

To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!
Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!"

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky,

So up to the house-top the coursers they flew,
With the sleigh full of toys, and St. Nicholas too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.

As I drew in my hand, and was turning around,
Down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound.

He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;

A bundle of toys he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a peddler just opening his pack.

His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow;

The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath;

He had a broad face and a little round belly,
That shook, when he laughed like a bowlful of jelly.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the stockings; then turned with a jerk,

And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose;

He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.

But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,
"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night."

And it's butchering:

The Dawn Before D-Day
by UnOrthOdOx

'Twas the Dawn before D-Day, all 'cross the land,
All of Lego lay dreaming, how space would be grand;

Their cities were great, their production unmatched,
All because their island had started detached;

Their game had been fair, their diplomacy nice,
If anything, you could say that this was their one vice;

And Kloreep with his food, Vondrack with his plans,
Were confident they could defeat all the other clans,

When off of the shore came GoW planes Bombing,
Sending all those poor kittens off for embalming.

And Tiberius went to raise the alarm,
"Won't anyone help save the cows on our farm?"

When a glorious site showed up on the shore,
Two mighty navies, with transports galore,

They rallied the navy, a mighty blow they struck
though GS still claimed it was all just pure luck,

With a cunning maneuver, so sneaky and slick,
A fort city, they hoped, would do just the trick.

Imposing the site, Lego's army did display,
But Master Zen was not about to dismay;

"Now, Crossing! Camp David! Horsefish and Panama!
Ahhmyfoot! Sharehaven! Kloreep and Zargonia!

Now into their cities! And over their wall!
Now Pillage! Now Rampage! They all shall fall!"

As outside of Fort Stanwix, the GoW army stood,
Old Aggie smelled blood, and was up to no good,

So up to the sky the bombers they flew,
With bombs for the kittens, and Old Aggie too.

And then, in the distance, a sound as of thunder;
Ghengis had his artillery firing asunder.

As the smoke fin'ly cleared, assault began at large,
With none other than Hot Enamel leading the charge.

He was dressed all in black, from his head to his foot,
And his tanks were all tarnished with ashes and soot;

Waves of Marines, he had at his side,
Going from house to house, no place to hide.

His eyes -- how they twinkled! His mouth how it sneered!
With a wave of his hand, the whole town disappeared!

With a need for the populace to enamor,
UnO himself rode into Port Hammer;

With greed in his eyes and showing no remorse,
He took over the town still using his sword and his horse;

GoW moved 'cross the land both lucky and swift,
Causing Lego to look more than just a little miffed.

As reality set in, it may have all been in vain,
Had it not been for a transport, captain insane;

What a strange twist, I think it must be fate,
The major wars in this game all end ‘round this date;

Who knows, perhaps it’s simply my mission,
A new poem a year, a holiday tradition,

Of a Play the World Demogame war,
And all the activity they seem to restore;

Join with me now as we raise glass in holiday cheer,
To a fine Lego opponent, in the war of the year!

But I say to you now, next year I may write,
How an ICBM finally removes WhereItsAt from my sight!

**UnOrthOdOx** · December 5, 2006, 10:23

I am considering butchering Green Eggs and Ham in reference to how hard it was to convince everyone to allow us to form in the first place.

**UnOrthOdOx** · December 6, 2006, 10:59

Well, still thinking on Green Eggs and Ham, but it's not "christmas".

Also Under Consideration:

Marmion
by Sir Walter Scott

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Heap on more wood! – the wind is chill;
But let it whistle as it will,
We´ll keep our Christmas merry still.
Each age has deem´d the new-born year
The fittest time for festal cheer:
Even, heathen yet, the savage Dane
At Iol more deep the mead did drain;
High on the beach his galleys drew,
And feasted all his pirate crew;
Then in his low and pine-built hall
Where shields and axes deck´d the wall
They gorged upon the half-dress´d steer;
Caroused in seas of sable beer;
While round, in brutal jest, were thrown
The half-gnaw´d rib, and marrow-bone:
Or listen´d all, in grim delight,
While Scalds yell´d out the joys of fight.
Then forth, in frenzy, would they hie,
While wildly loose their red locks fly,
And dancing round the blazing pile,
They make such barbarous mirth the while,
As best might to the mind recall
The boisterous joys of Odin´s hall.

And well our Christian sires of old
Loved when the year its course had roll´d,
And brought blithe Christmas back again,
With all his hospitable train.
Domestic and religious rite
Gave honour to the holy night;
On Christmas Eve the bells were rung;
On Christmas Eve the mass was sung:
That only night in all the year,
Saw the stoled priest the chalice rear.
The damsel donn´d her kirtle sheen;
The hall was dress´d with holly green;
Forth to the wood did merry-men go,
To gather in the mistletoe.
Then open´d wide the Baron´s hall
To vassal, tenant, serf and all;
Power laid his rod of rule aside
And Ceremony doff´d his pride.
The heir, with roses in his shoes,
That night might village partner choose;
The Lord, underogating, share
The vulgar game of ‘post and pair´.
All hail´d, with uncontroll´d delight,
And general voice, the happy night,
That to the cottage, as the crown,
Brought tidings of salvation down.

The fire, with well-dried logs supplied,
Went roaring up the chimney wide;
The huge hall-table´s oaken face,
Scrubb´d till it shone, the day to grace,
Bore then upon its massive board
No mark to part the squire and lord.
Then was brought in the lusty brawn,
By old blue-coated serving-man;
Then the grim boar´s head frown´d on high,
Crested with bays and rosemary.
Well can the green-garb´d ranger tell,
How, when, and where, the monster fell;
What dogs before his death to tore,
And all the baiting of the boar.
The wassel round, in good brown bowls,
Garnish´d with ribbons, blithely trowls.
There the huge sirloin reek'd; hard by
Plum-porridge stood, and Christmas pie;
Nor fail´d old Scotland to produce,
At such high tide, her savoury goose.
Then came the merry makers in,
And carols roar´d with blithesome din;
If unmelodious was the song,
It was a hearty note, and strong.
Who lists may in their mumming see
Traces of ancient mystery;
White shirts supplied the masquerade,
And smutted cheeks the visors made;
But, O! what maskers, richly dight,
Can boast of bosoms half so light!
England was merry England, when
Old Christmas brought his sports again.
‘Twas Christmas broach´d the mightiest ale;
‘Twas Christmas told the merriest tale;
A Christmas gambol oft could cheer
The poor man´s heart through half the year.

Music on Christmas Morning
(from Poems)
Acton Bell (pseudonym of Anne Bronte)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Music I love--but never strain
Could kindle raptures so divine,
So grief assuage, so conquer pain,
And rouse this pensive heart of mine--
As that we hear on Christmas morn,
Upon the wintry breezes borne.

Though Darkness still her empire keep,
And hours must pass, ere morning break;
From troubled dreams, or slumbers deep,
That music KINDLY bids us wake:
It calls us, with an angel's voice,
To wake, and worship, and rejoice;

To greet with joy the glorious morn,
Which angels welcomed long ago,
When our redeeming Lord was born,
To bring the light of Heaven below;
The Powers of Darkness to dispel,
And rescue Earth from Death and Hell.

While listening to that sacred strain,
My raptured spirit soars on high;
I seem to hear those songs again
Resounding through the open sky,
That kindled such divine delight,
In those who watched their flocks by night.

With them I celebrate His birth--
Glory to God, in highest Heaven,
Good-will to men, and peace on earth,
To us a Saviour-king is given;
Our God is come to claim His own,
And Satan's power is overthrown!

A sinless God, for sinful men,
Descends to suffer and to bleed;
Hell MUST renounce its empire then;
The price is paid, the world is freed,
And Satan's self must now confess
That Christ has earned a RIGHT to bless:

Now holy Peace may smile from heaven,
And heavenly Truth from earth shall spring:
The captive's galling bonds are riven,
For our Redeemer is our king;
And He that gave his blood for men
Will lead us home to God again.

**Octavian X** · December 7, 2006, 22:43

Maybe you could find a nice carol to butcher? "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen" (or something like that) could probably be made to refer to the Merc cause.

**UnOrthOdOx** · December 8, 2006, 10:26

God Rest Ye Merry, Gentlemen,
Let nothing you dismay;
Remember Christ, our Saviour,
Was born on Christmas day,
To save us all from Satan's power
When we were gone astray.
O tidings of comfort and joy,
Comfort and joy,
O tidings of comfort and joy.

In Bethlehem, in Jewry,
This blessed Babe was born,
And laid within a manger,
Upon this blessed morn;
That which His Mother Mary,
Did nothing take in scorn.
O tidings of comfort and joy,
Comfort and joy,
O tidings of comfort and joy.

From God our Heavenly Father,
A blessed Angel came;
And unto certain Shepherds
Brought tidings of the same:
How that in Bethlehem was born
The Son of God by Name.
O tidings of comfort and joy,
Comfort and joy,
O tidings of comfort and joy.

"Fear not," then said the Angel,
"let nothing you affright,
This day is born a Saviour
Of pure Virgin bright,
To free all those who trust in Him
From Satan's power and might."
O tidings of comfort and joy,
Comfort and joy,
O tidings of comfort and joy.

The shepherds at those tidings
Rejoiced much in mind,
And left their flocks a-feeding,
In tempest, storm, and wind:
And went to Bethlehem straightway,
The Son of God to find.
O tidings of comfort and joy,
Comfort and joy,
O tidings of comfort and joy.

And when they came to Bethlehem
Where our dear Saviour lay,
They found Him in a manger,
Where oxen feed on hay;
His Mother Mary kneeling down,
Unto the Lord did pray.
O tidings of comfort and joy,
Comfort and joy,
O tidings of comfort and joy.

Now to the Lord sing praises,
All you within this place,
And with true love and brotherhood
Each other now embrace;
This holy tide of Christmas
All other doth deface.
O tidings of comfort and joy,
Comfort and joy,
O tidings of comfort and joy.

"A team just for profit and fun,
profit and fun
A team just for profit and fun"

**UnOrthOdOx** · December 22, 2006, 08:06

Screw it. I'll just write something new.

Anyone have a problem with the reference to the horde?

A Demogame Yule

Merry Yule we wish the players
of this Civ 4 Demo Game
From the team who seeks
For fortune more than fame

As the days grow darker
The winter, cold sets in
We hope your days are happy
as you compete to win

To Vox, the Voice, we wish
To you a microphone;
That this voice may be heard,
And you not feel alone.

And to the team that calls
Themselves the Horde, mark two;
We wish for them a shrub,
Or even, perhaps, a few.

And where the Storm does Gather
The discussion surely intense
We wish for them, this time
A start that's more immense

To Alpha Centauri we pray
For them a laser, perhaps a few;
Just make sure they recall
It's an attack strength of only two.

And for the Team Banana
In that holy yellow peel;
We truly wish that they
Not become someone's meal.

And finally Sarantium
I wish I could get a sense,
But I'm afraid of their name
I just don't catch the reference.

To snoopy and his "sausages"
He does profess to eat
We wish him a nice quiche
For a real and "manly" treat.

And so this Yuletide evening
As I sit down to write;
Merry Christmas to all,
And to all a good night.

-UnOrthOdOx

**snoopy369** · December 22, 2006, 11:27

lol, funny

I'm fine with the shrub reference as long as it's not a reference to war making ... I haven't seen the knights of ni recently enough to recall anything about it, but i'm sure a lot of the folks out there have. If it is, you should change it to 'bush' or something similar.

**snoopy369** · December 22, 2006, 11:31

Eh, it's fine, having read the knights of Ni! ... some people will speculate on it I'm sure, but it's not a blatant reference to war.

**Kloreep** · December 22, 2006, 21:49

I think the only possible problem with the shrubbery is it's such an obscure reference. It's the only verse that is not obvious from team theme/name and it may set people to wondering if we have contact.

Definitely not a blatant reference to anything specific, just not obviously Horde-related.

**UnOrthOdOx** · December 22, 2006, 23:02

Oh, ok, I'll change it up to something safer.

**UnOrthOdOx** · April 8, 2007, 18:04

Apolytonian work in process post...

World Wonder Created

The Stars themselves aligned to announce the construction of a great stone circle known as "Stonehenge", and the Apolytonian was there to learn more from an anonymous source:

Classified location:

Reporter: What can you tell us about this "Stonehenge".

Anonymous: Why, this is the most fabulous construction project in the known world. Why, we won't even need to bother building monuments in any cities, they can all just look towards the Henge here and feel it's source of power flowing out to all cities. What's more, we have been able to chart the night sky and now know just where we are in the world.

Reporter: So, this bunch of rock here acts as a monument way over that way?

Anonymous: Well, not exactly. All we know is wherever we go, monuments just spontaneously erupt up out of the ground. It's really fascinating, and has only begun happening since construction was completed.

Reporter: Uh....huh....and these monuments are good for.......?

Anonymous: Why, they spread our ideals to the surrounding countryside quicker, of course. Though, there are rumors that some warlords claim they make people happy as well, we haven't seen any of that happening.

Reporter:

Anonymous: Then there is also the matter of all the scholars that are flocking to observe the heavens here as well. We highly suspect that eventually, one day, perhaps, one of them might become great. Possibly.

Reporter:

We here at the Apolytonian wish to convey a great big

to that mysterious team that completed the first wonder. You know who you are...

-UnOrthOdOx

A brief history of Buddhism

At the dawn of Sarantine civilization people went about their business with not much deep thought. They really didn't have time for it as they were busy hunting, fishing and reproducing. As the society grew and food gathering methods became more advanced, all the people were not required to work for sustenance. Some people started to think that there was more to life than just the trees, rocks, rivers and all the other things that are for the eyes to see? Maybe there was some invisible force that made everything work?

The wisest of men and women came up with the concept of mysticism. It was a belief that there was invisible spirits and creatures that were causing some of the most powerful phenomena of nature. The common people were excited. Finally there was some answer that made sense. Of course there had to be some invisible creatures causing the rain and wind and making the crops grow. Soon people figured out that maybe they could influence these spirits in some way. Thus, sacrificing maggots, bulls and other dirty and barbaric animals for these spirits became a commoplace tradition.

Then, one day, a new prince was born to the royal family of the Sarantine empire. The most remarkable thing about this young prince was that he had no belly button. The elders thought that this must be a sign from the spirits. The prince wandered into the mountains to find some peace from the hectic buzz around the royal family. During this time he experinced an enlightenment. Some say he was struck by a lighting bolt, some say he was hallucinating because of the mushrooms he ate. Nevertheless his thinking was greatly enhanced and eventually he came down from the mountains and started to teach the 'enlightenment' to the people. Little by little, the barbaric sacrificial traditions faded away.

This was the first deeper belief and philosophy in the world. It was the first religion, Buddhism. The empire didn't make it an official religion of the state and the prince now known as the Buddha didn't demand it either. He knew that people can think for themselves and if they consider his teachings as their own, they will convert. Buddha loves all people. Later, a nationwide vote was held for government support for Buddhism. The votes were cast and almost all of the people wanted Buddhism to become a state religion. Thus the age of enlightment had begun in the empire of Sarantium, and Buddhism started to spread and eventually civilize the neighbouring barbaric tribes.

-proviisori

Gathering Storm's secret military research unveiled:

Recently, Krill let it slip that GS has been secretly working on a project code named "modern armor".

This led to wide spread speculation as to just what this means.

"Obviously, they have begun coating their warriors in Giant Tortoise Shells" E_T of Team Sarantium was heard claiming.

"No, it must be armadillo coats" claimed snoopy. "Or maybe Under Armor, I can't recall exactly."

We at Mercenary Press, through exhaustive research, have come to the bottom of this mystery.

Once again, it seems Gathering Storm is leading the world in the area of War Chicken research, and have unleashed a new bread of War Chickens upon the world.

Listen to the shocking evidence, and prepare to tremble in fear...

-UnOrthOdOx

(I've had intermittent trouble with that second link, but seems it always works if you right click and open in new window.)

Team Banana storms Hall of Justice in protest

Previously it had been reported that Team Banana had been brought under investigation over alleged payments to terrorist organizations.

The Apolytonian has learned that in the wake of the ongoing investigation, Team Banana has stormed the Hall of Justice in protest over the proceedings, whilst coming up with new ways to increase their economy.

Team Mercenary, meanwhile, continues to refuse to comment over the entire Chaquita situation.

-UnOrthOdOx

Team Mercenary Growth

Team Mercenary reports a sudden population boon in Alpha Base.

The UnOrthOdOx family is pleased to announce the Birth of Talia:

After having a week away from all official business, UnOrthOdOx returns as a primary contact for all thing Mercenary related.

-UnOrthOdOx

Meet the Demogamers: UnOrthOdOx

First in what I hope to make a regular feature. And, I may as well go first.

IRL I go by the name Cole Gilbert, Age 30 (soon to be 31). From South Ogden, Utah.

Married my highschool sweatheart at the age of 19, and we now have 3 kids.

Worked for Fram to pay the bills so we could get married and still have my wife in school since she had a clear career plan, and I really didn't. Great opportunity to learn a lot of maintanence, machining, and etc. All OJT stuff and paid for classes which got me my current Job with Boeing.

We didn't have a PC for a number of years, but Civ II was pretty much THE reason I HAD to buy one. I still recall being amazed when my friend showed me that game, and I went out an bought it on the spot nearly a full year before actually purchasing a computer to play it on.

My first introduction to online gaming came with Myth II. My original handle was SirUlias at that time (and still my email), and I ended up playing mostly with folks from Australia/NZ due to my bizaar schedule. (Something that continues today...)

Then came Diablo II. I was a very hardcore player, making it onto the hardcore ladders the first couple seasons. This also became my introduction to the whole 'forum' concept, and I even became a news editor and moderator at DiabloII.net. I became known there for posting bizaar and off beat builds, and folks began calling me Un0rth0d0x. When the boards crashed and we all had to re-sign-up. I decided to keep it, but didn't understand the l33t crap with the 0's, and mistakenly, used capitol O's instead. It's stuck ever since.

In my enthusiasm to play DiabloII, it was some time before I bought Civ III. I started reading about these 'democracy game' things and decided that would be the best way for me to learn the game. CFC's was in full swing, but Poly here was just starting one, so I joined over here.

I decided to start up a paper for that demogame, The Jungle Gazette. And have pretty much made some attempt at "news" type items in every demogame I'm involved in since as a bit of a hobby. To varying degrees of success depending on the time I am able to dedicate to them.

Halloween, however, is hobby #1. And, it should be noted, it has been demoted to 'hobby' over the years. There was a time I ran a professional haunt, and even consulted on some rather big ones around Utah. But, some zoning changes ended up in an inability for me to continue that in the Ogden area (in fact there are NO haunts in the Ogden area anymore), so after selling off all my stuff, I went into a hiatus on that for a few years. 3 years ago, we bought a new house, and I have proceeded to scare the hell out of the neighborhood kids ever since, and continue to slowly rebuild my collection of props. And I do mean "rebuild" quite literally, as I construct my own. One of these years I may just start up a 'professional' haunt again for charity, assuming the local laws will once again allow for such.

Well, that's pretty much me in a nutshell.

**UnOrthOdOx** · April 8, 2007, 18:22

There, I'll write the actual stories pretty much as I type them up, just getting all the links down ahead so it's just cut/paste, along with note to remind me what to write up.

**polarnomad** · April 9, 2007, 00:58

Congrats on the new arrival to your family, UnO!

She got a name yet?

**UnOrthOdOx** · April 9, 2007, 13:20

Slowly coming together up there...

Name: Talia Ruth Gilbert

Announcement

UnO's workshop

UnO's workshop

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