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I've been told that this is a good site for feedback on stories. So i have decided i might as well post this story of a IP game.
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In the dark year of 4000 BC there was no order to the universe. Then a miracle happened. The Great Creator formed a new planet out of rock and dust, giving it mountains, plains, desert, and tundra. He then pupulated the earth with animals. Soon after, He gave life to 7 ageless children all one way or another in his own form, Joan of Arc, Cleopatra, Isabella, Ragar Lodbrok, Bismarck, Brennus, and Alexander. Each were given their own separate kingdom in the world. Soon people began populating the planet in great cities like Thebes or Madrid. But the 7 children of the Great Creator all knew one thing. They could only be killed by a mortal blade. To prevent this they each had 6 children much like themselves. They all turned out exactly identical. They were ageless. They were invincable against all but a mortal's blade. So began the 7 Queens of Egypt.
Queen Cleopatra the True watched from her window in the great Palace of Thebes. She saw the masses of people visiting the newly built Colleseum, the public libraries, and the Temple built to the Great Creator. All the cities of Egypt were like this. Culturally great, luxurious, and large. Even the jungle cities of Memphis and Giza were not excluded from the wealth. Ivory from Thebes, Wines from Heliopolis, Silks from Memphis, and Incense from Elephantine all added great wealth and happiness to the cities of Egypt. It was times like these that helped her remember how it all began.
Soon after she created her 6 children, she sent 5 of them off on exploration tasks to the north and south. Apparently Thebes was located on a long penninsula so there was no real need to scout west or east. She kept her most beloved, Cleopatra the Blessed, with her in the governing of Thebes.
The 5 children sent to scout soon met the Celts who were living in the southern Jungle and the Spainish who were located in the fertile grassland south of the Jungle. Isabella and Cleopatra soon became great friends exchanging technology and swearing a pact to always provide the other nation with the latest discovered technologies.
The ones sent north soon discovered the backwards French, who were isolated mostly thanks to the location of Thebes which blocked expansion southward. The French had fertile lands and were growing rapidly.
For a long period of time new cities were founded like Memphis in the southern jungle, Heliopolis in the northern plains, and sevral other cities founded in the jungles and desert of Egypt. As technology advanced new ways of communication were discovered. Things began to be written down by scribes in Egypt's great cities. Goods began traveling across the nation from one city to another. Two nations were newly discovered, Greece and Germany. Both were steadily growing nations though not nearly growing as fast as the Spainish or Egyptian empires. The Celts seemed to be stuck only founding one other city besides their captitol of Entremont, Alesia.
Around this time Cleopatra's friend Isabella refused a demand from the aggressive Germans to the west and went to war. It was a phony war. No reports of any major battles ever came to the ears of Cleopatra the True although reports came in quite often that Bismarck was quite unpleased with the great friendship between Spain and Egypt. The war ended nearly as soon as it begun.
For many years after the peace continued with the world's nations expanding and growing steadily larger. Wonders were built, like the Pyramids of Paris, The Oracle of Athens, or the Collossus of Heliopolis. However, the Celts had managed to found their third city in a place that cut off the Spainish main nation with their source of Iron. Already talks of war came from both nations.
Forcing herself back to the present, Cleopatra called for her daughter Cleopatra the Warrior. "My child, I wish for you to take the newly formed Army of Thebes consisting of the 3 new swords regiments and one of the Thebes garrison spear regiments and take them south to Giza were a archer regiment will meet you. You are to take this army further south to Alesia and show the world the power of the Egyptian armies." Her daughter nodded her assent and began her great task.
Egypt's first war had begun.
Here's a picture of what the world looked like at the time.
Yellow= Egyptian Empire
Light Blue= Spainish Empire
Dark Green= Celtica
Pink= France
Dark Blue= Germany
Light Green= Greek Empire
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In the dark year of 4000 BC there was no order to the universe. Then a miracle happened. The Great Creator formed a new planet out of rock and dust, giving it mountains, plains, desert, and tundra. He then pupulated the earth with animals. Soon after, He gave life to 7 ageless children all one way or another in his own form, Joan of Arc, Cleopatra, Isabella, Ragar Lodbrok, Bismarck, Brennus, and Alexander. Each were given their own separate kingdom in the world. Soon people began populating the planet in great cities like Thebes or Madrid. But the 7 children of the Great Creator all knew one thing. They could only be killed by a mortal blade. To prevent this they each had 6 children much like themselves. They all turned out exactly identical. They were ageless. They were invincable against all but a mortal's blade. So began the 7 Queens of Egypt.
Queen Cleopatra the True watched from her window in the great Palace of Thebes. She saw the masses of people visiting the newly built Colleseum, the public libraries, and the Temple built to the Great Creator. All the cities of Egypt were like this. Culturally great, luxurious, and large. Even the jungle cities of Memphis and Giza were not excluded from the wealth. Ivory from Thebes, Wines from Heliopolis, Silks from Memphis, and Incense from Elephantine all added great wealth and happiness to the cities of Egypt. It was times like these that helped her remember how it all began.
Soon after she created her 6 children, she sent 5 of them off on exploration tasks to the north and south. Apparently Thebes was located on a long penninsula so there was no real need to scout west or east. She kept her most beloved, Cleopatra the Blessed, with her in the governing of Thebes.
The 5 children sent to scout soon met the Celts who were living in the southern Jungle and the Spainish who were located in the fertile grassland south of the Jungle. Isabella and Cleopatra soon became great friends exchanging technology and swearing a pact to always provide the other nation with the latest discovered technologies.
The ones sent north soon discovered the backwards French, who were isolated mostly thanks to the location of Thebes which blocked expansion southward. The French had fertile lands and were growing rapidly.
For a long period of time new cities were founded like Memphis in the southern jungle, Heliopolis in the northern plains, and sevral other cities founded in the jungles and desert of Egypt. As technology advanced new ways of communication were discovered. Things began to be written down by scribes in Egypt's great cities. Goods began traveling across the nation from one city to another. Two nations were newly discovered, Greece and Germany. Both were steadily growing nations though not nearly growing as fast as the Spainish or Egyptian empires. The Celts seemed to be stuck only founding one other city besides their captitol of Entremont, Alesia.
Around this time Cleopatra's friend Isabella refused a demand from the aggressive Germans to the west and went to war. It was a phony war. No reports of any major battles ever came to the ears of Cleopatra the True although reports came in quite often that Bismarck was quite unpleased with the great friendship between Spain and Egypt. The war ended nearly as soon as it begun.
For many years after the peace continued with the world's nations expanding and growing steadily larger. Wonders were built, like the Pyramids of Paris, The Oracle of Athens, or the Collossus of Heliopolis. However, the Celts had managed to found their third city in a place that cut off the Spainish main nation with their source of Iron. Already talks of war came from both nations.
Forcing herself back to the present, Cleopatra called for her daughter Cleopatra the Warrior. "My child, I wish for you to take the newly formed Army of Thebes consisting of the 3 new swords regiments and one of the Thebes garrison spear regiments and take them south to Giza were a archer regiment will meet you. You are to take this army further south to Alesia and show the world the power of the Egyptian armies." Her daughter nodded her assent and began her great task.
Egypt's first war had begun.
Here's a picture of what the world looked like at the time.
Yellow= Egyptian Empire
Light Blue= Spainish Empire
Dark Green= Celtica
Pink= France
Dark Blue= Germany
Light Green= Greek Empire
Attached Files
Good stuff it is 
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