The Fight For Freedom

[vovan]

Hey, Chris, it's been more than two weeks now. Me want more goods.

Or should I say:

[ChrisiusMaximus]

Many thanks Vovan, Scratch, Plato and Kaos for the words of encouragement Im glad youre all liking it

Left this be a whiles to think through several ideas on where I want to go next, although Im still not 100% sure here's a little to keep you going.



Part 13 May The Gods Have Mercy,


Bryn was aboard HMS Invincible, a new Drestroyer class vessel, pride of the English Navy. The electoral business of choosing the first ever Democratic government of Celtica was being overseen by Kyle Donavon.

War crimes trials were in full swing with the suspected being sent to Devils Bridge for trial and sentencing.

Bryn had decided some time ago that Devils Bridge would become the Miliatary HQ for his reborn nation, partly for its secure isolated position, but also to give the people a sense of freedom from the armed forces. For years the Celtic people had been bullied and abused by men in uniforms, and Bryn wanted to let the people feel free.

It had been agreed that the UK would be leased a part of the island of Little Celtica to build a naval base. Bryn and a regiment of the newly formed Celtic defense force were enroute to reclaim the island. In all the goings on since the fall of Mcgregor at Entremont, Little Celtica had been overlooked somewhat, and intelligence suggested there may still be Communist forces at large on the island.

On the horizon the smoke stacks of several vessels carrying troops came into view, "Right on time Brother, we should rendezvous with the main fleet at 07.00 hours, Sir why dont you get some sleep!" said Liam Obrien to Bryn on the bridge of the Invincible.

"Yes Brother I think I will try to get an hour, wake me at 06.30 will you?" said Bryn, and headed of to his quarters. "Goodnight Captain Bennett!"

"Good night Sir!" said the Captain, "Engine room full speed ahead!" ordered the Captain to the First mate who relayed the orders. A claxon sounded twice "Now hear this !! Now hear this!! this is your captain speaking! all men to their stations! be alert we are entering hostile waters! Captain out!".

Bryn tossed and turned in his bunk, no matter how, he could not get to sleep. A deep burning sensation, deep in his gut was filling him with a severe sense of foreboding. He did not know what or why he just knew something terrible was about to happen, he could feel it right through his very being. Sweating profusely he drifted into a semi concious state, "Father be careful!" he heard a faint voice drifting through his mind.

"Huh!!" Bryn called out sitting up bolt upright covered in sweat, "Connel is that you?" he asked, but there was no answer. He was alone now in the darkness of his quarters, sobbing quietly to himself he placed his head back down onto the pillow of his bunk. "I will be careful my Son!" the words going round and round in his head as he fell off to sleep.



To be continued

[ChrisiusMaximus]

Part 13 cont,


Knock! Knock! "Bryn its 06.30, time to wake up!" shouted Liam outside Bryn's quarters.

The door opened and Bryn stepped through fully dressed, "Ive been awake some time Brother! in fact I found it difficult to sleep!" he said as the two of them made there way up to the upper deck.

"Lets take a stroll around the deck before we go on up to the bridge, stretch our legs!" said Liam.

"Why not, fresh is'nt it!" stated Bryn.

"Yes indeed, it feels good to let the fresh air fill your lungs Brother!" replied Liam.

"Lets hope that the air remains as sweet when we reach the island!" said Bryn.

"Ship ahoy!!" called a lookout from the conning tower.

Bryn and Liam rushed up from the quarter deck to the bridge, "What is it?" asked Bryn.

"It looks like a Roman vessel Sir, but its not flying any colours." said Captain Bennett.

"Galleon class transport vessel Sir, definitely Roman Sir, take a look through my binoculars!" said first mate Harris.

"Curious! why are'nt they flying any colours! set course 225 degrees to intercept, Battle stations!" ordered the Captain.

"Aye aye Sir!" said the first mate as he rang out the battle stations alert.

"Signal the fleet let them know were investigating this situation, they are to continue on their current course. We will rendezvous with them at these coordinates" the Captain continued issuing orders to his crew.

"Youve got to hand it to these English Liam, they certainly know how to run an efficient ship," said Bryn. In the back of his mind the words he had heard during the night.

"Indeed Brother!" Liams reply jolted Bryn back to the situation at hand.

The destroyer class vessel glided with ease through the waters, quickly making the distance between the two vessels smaller. As the Invincible came along side the Roman vessel the Captain addressed their crew over the loud hailer. "Heave to and prepare to be boarded, lay down your arms or we will open fire!"

The captain of the Roman vessel responded by shouting back at the invincible, "You have no jurisdiction here, this a vessel of the imperial Roman fleet and you will not board us!" he yelled angrily. "These are Celtic waters! England has no rights here!"

"Give me that!" Bryn said to the Captain, "I am Bryn Murdoch! Leader of the free people of Celtica! You sir are trespassing in Celtic waters, now do as the captain says or I shall let him sink you!"


More to come, dinners ready

[PLATO]

Hmm...A Roman transport flying no colours, but the Captain redily identifies himself as Roman. Could this be a planned international incident in the making? Sounds like a trap. Careful Bryn!!!

[ChrisiusMaximus]

KABOOM!!!!


The Roman vessels portside cannons erupted with a huge roar and powder smoke, at this close range causing much damage to the British ship. A stray shot collided into the bridge of the invincible, smashing glass and causing an explosion! Bryn was hurled backwards from the force of the blast and slumped against the steel wall.

"Fire!!" yelled the Captain as he got back to his feet.




KABOOM!!!! BOOM!!!! BOOM!!! KABOOM!!!


The invincible fired a volley of shots at point blank range, the Roman ship seemed to lift several feet out of the sea! exploding in an inferno! its hull splitting in two at the midships. Burning forms of screaming men desperately leaping into the water, flames billowing like sails in the wind. Then she sank like a stone into the depths.

"Put out those fires!! sweep for survivors, but quickly man I want to be underway in a jiffy!!" Captain Bennett barked to one of his officers.

The first mate Harris was dead, he had taken the brunt of the explosion and his twisted form lay on the floor at Bryns feet. "My god Bryn are you alright?" said Liam.

"Yes yes I think so!" he said though clearly shaken. As he tried to get to his feet he stumbled in agony, "ARGHH, damn I think Ive been hit!"

"Medic!!" shouted Captain Bennett, "Looks like a shrapnel wound old boy! just take it easy and well get you patched up."

Luckily it was just a flesh wound in his right thigh, if first mate Harris had not been standing beside Bryn when the shell hit he would have been killed, no doubt.

"Sir we've not found any survivors," said a young sailor to the Captain.

"Whats our casualties Jacobs! and by the way you'll have to take over as first mate!"

"Aye aye Sir, 12 dead 37 injured Sir!" said Jacobs "Including First mate Harris Sir!"

"Thank you Mr Jacobs, now see to it that the injured get treated, and clear the decks for action stations! Engine room full speed ahead, Heading 355 degrees steady as she goes!"

The invincible got underway well the crew were still dousing the fires on deck, and clearing the debris of the futile Roman attack. Bryn was all patched up and was able to get back on his feet though in a little pain. His mind drifted back to the voice he had heard in his sleep, sending a cold shiver down his spine.

Several hours later than originally planned the landing force headed for the beaches of Little Celtica. The landing was unopposed but as expected their was resistance, and the fighting went on well into the afternoon. At approximately 15.30 hrs local time Bryn Murdoch stepped ashore at the quayside in the small Celtic Fishing village of Newquay. The village was deserted, and it looked as if it had been for some time.

"Brother you must come with me, Im afraid we have uncovered a terrible truth!" said Brother Kelly, a young officer in the Celtic defense force.

Bryn felt the same cold gut feeling suddenly wash over him that he had experienced the night before, he looked at Liam with an expression of worry. Both men followed the young soldier without a word, wondering what he meant, a terrible truth!

After a few minutes Bryn spoke"Soldier where are you taking us?" he asked.

"Please Sir follow me this way!" he replied looking straight at Bryn with eyes wide, haunted by something terrible.

The three of them rounded the corner of a street along both sides of which was high barbed wire fencing running the full length to a guard house and set of gates. Bryns sense of fear grew stronger, the air was filled with an awful stench.

"Sir put this on!" said another soldier who came out of the guard house at the gates, as he hande the three of them a dampened rag to use as a facemask.

"Whats going on here? what is this place?" asked Bryn, looking around him now he could see more of his Brothers all wearing makeshift masks. Some of the men were doubled over vomitting, some standing looking to the skies as if in some strange trance, many of the men were crying, tears falling uncontrollably down their cheeks.

"Please this way Sir!" said Kelly as he led them through the gates and into the compound.

It was only then that Bryn realised what was all around him! corpses, putrid stinking imaciated corpses. Other half dead skeletal figures staggering around nearly naked, nearly dead!!

"Sir there are two other camps similar to this on the island, it appears that this facility was for the extermination of the sick and elderly. The other camps were trading healthier prisoners to the Romans! Slavery Sir!!" said Kelly, himself crying.

Bryn stomach gave way and he vomitted, "Oohar, what in hells name has been going on here?" he said.

"It seems that since the fall of the regime the troops here have mostly deserted and left for Rome, leaving these poor wretches to starve to death. From what information we have gathered from some of the prisoners that were left, this island has been used as a penal colony by the communist regime for years. All political opponents, Prisoners of war and criminals were sent here to be forgotten about." Said Kelly.

"Tell me this is'nt hapening, Oh my god!" Bryn cried out.

"They were selling the able bodied men to be trained as Gladiators for the Roman Circus's, and the women were sold as slaves to be whored. any one who did not fit the bill came here for disposal by cremation. Sir!" finished Kelly.

Bryn cried out in anguish "NO!! NO!! say it is'nt true please!! it cant be true!! May the gods have mercy on our souls!!"...............

[vovan]

WOW


I know I've said this a million times, but your writing gets greater and greater with every new chapter. After reading stuff like this, I always wish had more than two thumbs to put up for ya.

I thought the scene with Bryn sleeping was particularly good, and also the very last part was cool.

Overall, wow (again ).

Now that I think about it, you've got a lot of dialogue, but it doesn't feel awkward or any way cheesy at all. Dialogue is definitely your great strength.

In fact, there is so much dialogue, you could make a movie out of this.

One very minor complaint I have is your use of apostrophes. Or should I say: lack thereof. I think I said this a while back when you were writing Mike's story, but I'll repeat. In some places, the lack of apostrophes detracts from the satisfaction a little bit. One can figure out what you mean, but the very fact that you have to resolve the ambiguity sort of pulls you out of the story for that one millisecond, but that's enough to detract from the immersion a little bit. For example what I mean by ambiguity:

"just take it easy and well get you patched up."

The "we'll" you meant to write and the "well" you actually wrote... You see, it sort of puts the unnecessary strain of figuring out what you mean on the reader. Well, not really strain but... It's like this: you'd like the reader to be fully concentrated on what is going on, and indeed you succeed: your writing is very engaging and immersive, but when one needs to pay attention to mentally putting in the apostrophes it just takes him out of it a little bit.

Other than that, I must say, again, awesome and quite inspiring stuff. Hope to see more from you... all the time.

[PLATO]

An unexpected and grisly turn of events. Rome must die!!

[unscratchedfoot]

Very good writing

Kick their butts Rome!!!

It's not fair if everyone cheers only for the hometeam.

[Shogun Gunner]

This is an excellent story. Most stories would end with the victory over the communists. I like the continuation of the impending conflict with Rome.

Great stuff, keep it up!!!!

[joe08536]

Excellent Stuff

This is an excellent story. I'd say it has a little bit over everything and then some. It's simply some of the very best narrative I've seen here in quite a while.

a really good storyline and great character development.

Great Work!

J

[PLATO]

10 days Chrisius! Don't keep us waiting!!

[ChrisiusMaximus]

I know I know, Im sorry folks for the delay. Im absolutely snowed under with work, which as Im self employed is a good thing but means Im very tired when I get home. Ive tried a couple of times to write but I start falling asleep and cant concentrate.

Got a weekend off work coming up so be patient and I might get some up then

Thanks to everyone for their support and encouragement

[vovan]

Ah, well it's good you didn't post what you wrote then: if you fell asleep when you wrote it, I imagine we would have even faster - reading it. Hehe.

Any way, I hope you get some rest soon so you could exercise your creative skills once more.

[PLATO]

Originally posted by ChrisiusMaximus
I know I know, Im sorry folks for the delay. Im absolutely snowed under with work, which as Im self employed is a good thing but means Im very tired when I get home. Ive tried a couple of times to write but I start falling asleep and cant concentrate.

Got a weekend off work coming up so be patient and I might get some up then

Thanks to everyone for their support and encouragement

Well I can sure understand being tired from work! Get some rest...we'll be here.

[JoseM]

Good