The Final War

[Lycurgus]

Here is another shot showing the capital and the surrounding area.

[Lycurgus]

Last one for now, the red again denotes Rebel territory. Notice how the Rebels are more powerful in rural areas where they gain most support in the south.

[ChrisiusMaximus]

Nice screenies, keep up the good work.

[Meshelic]

Great story, great screenshots.

The battle sequences are written very well, and the storyline concerning the civil war and war with Iroquois are gripping indeed. Very good job!

[unscratchedfoot]

I like intense battlescenes too with lots of violence. Seldom, if ever, do I read a story from start to finish in one sitting. Great imaginative account of a fairly mundane computer game experience.

I have an idea for you: if you want to further increase your grip on the reader (at least on this one anyways) you should have more give & take in the story. The captured tanks scene was a desperately needed break from the Aztec crush, but it was deflated once you said it was a set-up by the Aztecs themselves (dude, you have no idea how disappointed I was when I read that). It's all good if the Aztecs win & everything but we really, really need some more scenes where the Iroquois give the Aztecs a bloody nose for a change. This makes it more exciting than just "yeah, yeah, and the Aztecs kill them all again" feeling (I'm not saying your story felt like this but it was tending in this direction). For example, the movie Saving Private Ryan was good because the Americans dished out about the same as what they took from the Germans. Or the Rocky movies - they would have been a flop if Rocky just crushed everyone without taking a beating himself, but they were cool because he was beaten like an unarmed cop in a LA ghetto before he won.

I hope you will write another story like this one which is filled with fighting and senseless violence and devoid of boring stuff like romance and politics. I hope my idea's a help to you.

[ChaotikVisions]

Great story you've got going, been loving every minute of it. And unscratchedfoot I believe hes basing it around the game that happened, sounds like he probably beat the Iroquois so it makes sense for them to lose. This period right now is just another revolution. I prefer to be based off of a game rather then a story including some things from the game. Anyway, just my thoughts.

[Lycurgus]

The only reason the Iroquois took such a beating was that they were SO technologically inferior to me, they were literally full of crap. The Iroquois had a massive army, but they were very backward and didn;t advance much (due to my my blockade efforts!) so they had to rely on technology a century or more out of date!
I had much superior technology to them and wiped the floor with them, they took three of four units to destroy one of mine! If casualties can be measured in Civ 3 then I took about 18 million dead and another 35 million wounded in 80 years of fighting, whilst the Iroquois took about 50 million dead and about 75 million wounded!
The senseless violence is important because that is what war is about, but what id you all think of the death camp scenes?

[Lycurgus]

I should also mention that the captured tank sene was designed to show the manipulation and underhandedness of the communists. They ruled through fear and tickery and would stop at nothing to keep themselves in power.
Saving Private Ryan was good but too 'Americanised'. I'm not being racist or bogoted, but American films usually show Americans as the victors and as glory achievres. We British know that it was us who really won the war and saved all of humanity! (Good debate started here! lol).

[vovan]

Originally posted by Lycurgus
We British know that it was us who really won the war and saved all of humanity!

Everybody but the Americans and the British seems to realize the truth: without Russia, the war would have been lost.

Pretty nice story you've got there, Lycurgus. I haven't read all of it yet, though. It could be considered epic even by the length of it, not only by the events it describes. I also liked the screenshots. Pictures always do stories good. Although if you had dispersed them evenly throughout the story, it would have been good. Good job any way.

PS: Oh, and don't you say another word of who won the war - I'll have to edit this post

[unscratchedfoot]

Originally posted by vovansim


Everybody but the Americans and the British seems to realize the truth: without Russia, the war would have been lost.

Are you on glue? Get it straight man! It was the Zulus who deserve all the praise for winning WW2. Without them, the Russians, Americans, and Brits and whatever other side-show combatant nation you wanna mention next, would definitely have fallen under the yolk of slavery. So there!

Lugurgius, alright so you crushed the wimpy Iroquois. Please write another story, this same style of course, about a closer match-up with even more violence.
Oh yeah, and the genecide stuff could be done without. I think you can have a massively violent story with an entertaining feel to it rather than the sad mood that genecide gives. After all, you want your stories to entertain so just write about cool things.

[vovan]

Phew, I have finished reading the story. I must say that I actually agree with Chrisius and Scratchy here (Zulus eh? ) - the story would have been great without the genecide. Although I don't necessarily think that violence should be "fun," I also don't think that you should get overly obsessed with violence in stories to show the point that war is sensless. You could have cut down on it a little bit and made the story a little less ... how should I put it? ... gloomy maybe? No need to get all graphic

[Lycurgus]

Atlazxca studied the map before him, it showed troops positions and enemy defences, the rebel military commanders beside him were arguing over the movement of troops in the north eastern occupied territories. Only three weeks ago thi had seemed impossible, before the bomb had been used. The people had taken it as a sign fron the gods themselves and now all across the nation the people were rising up in support of the rebel cause. Already Tenochtitlan had fallen and word had just come in that morning that Texcoco, the great APSA city had also bene won by rebel forces. Atlazxca rubbed his hands a she thought of all the brave men and women who had died over the past month fighting for freedom and justice, he thought of them with a shudder as he realised how many there were, but also with thankfullnes at their valiant sacrafice.
The fighting had been hard over the weeks, the communists hadn't used another bomb, but air raids had levelled most of the cities before the pilots defected to the rebels. Disease had been introduced into the water and food supplies in an effort to contain the rebels, thousands had died within days. The communists had used very trick in the book, once Tenochtitlan fell they moved their HQ to Texcoco, and from there they orchestrated their final terror campaigns, hundrds of people kidnapped or killed, vast swathes of the countryside rendered uninhabitable by shelling and bombing and towns and villages burned and destroyed as the communist forces retreated.
Finally though the southern territories had risen in mass support of the rebel cause. Within days the communist power structures in the south had crumbled, soldiers deserted and politicians sought clemency. The only communist strongholds left were in the north, they too would fall in a matter of time, they were now hemmed in on all fronts, without any major support. Finally, seventy years of communist rule was coming to an end.

"Chairman, you are found guilty of war crimes against the Aztec people and of crimed against humanity. This court sentences you to death. You will be sacraficed on the Altar of the Sun in the hope that your soul may be purifyed through the ritual," the judge banged the gavel at the utterrance of the last words.
People lept up and cheered in the courtroom, this marked the culmination of four years of trials and prosecutions, finally the last remaining communist leader had been found guilty and was to be executed. Just as the crowd were leaving the court room, however, the doors were flung open and two soldiers dragged the figure of a small, elderley man into the room. The judge peered over his glases and asked, "Is this the man known as Hixalz?"
"Yes sir!" one of the soldeirs answered. Hixalz was hoisted to his feet and made to stand before the judge.
The judge read aloud from a script, "Lesser War Chief Hixalz, in your abscence the Supreme Court of the Aztec People has found you guilty of mass murder, genocide and crimes against humanity! You have been sentenced to imprisonment ..." Hixalz's face lit up slightly at the thought of spending the remainder of hsi life in a cushy top security prison, "you will be taken from this place and imprisoned in the Temple of Trials. There wou will spend 10 days with the snakes of Quetzacoatl, if you survuve you will be free to go, if not then the Feathered Serpent will be glad of your sacrafice,"
Hixalz's face drained of colour, he knew the ancient tales of the Temple of Trials, it was a punishment not used in over two thousand years, and no one had ever returned alive, they had all died excruciating deaths as the snakes' venom slowly sapped their strength.

The Aztec nation lay in ruins, the cities were badly damaged and destroyed, the military was in tatters after the civil-war, the treasury was empty, hundreds of thousands had died in the civil war, and millions more in the Iroquois war. But the Aztec nation had emerged as a superpower, within a only a few short years the Aztecs would have the most powerful economy and military on the planet and the Aztecs would be faced with another war, across the Great Western Ocean and the fate of the world would hang in the balance as the new Aztec democracy was called upon to defend the free world ...

[Lycurgus]

I have to say something on the violent content of this story, it is definitely deliberate. This was the biggest war in the game, it killed more people and caused more damage than anything before or since (thoug the present war may change that!). The excessively violent content was designed to illistrate that point, to reinforce the massive and brutal nature of this war, forall intents and purposes this was the equivalent of WW2 in this game.
The violence could have been much worse and I toned down several references that were to be included, so I have been somewhat conservative in my descriptions.

[ChrisiusMaximus]

My word Lycurgus youve certainly stirred up a nest of Interest with this story of yours, good work its well deserved.

BTW I'd have to agree with you about the Brits I think the yanks caused more casualties to English troops during the Gulf conflict than Maddass Hussein's whole Army was able to inflict. Yes the Americans have got a truly amazingly powerful arsenal of weaponary but they cant figure out who's on their side.

[ChaotikVisions]

*makes a note to conquer the tiny isle of England in his current game*

Great story, loved all of it. Are you going to follow up with what happens in this next war? And I also don't think the genocide bit was overdone. I estimated 20+ million Indians to have died in one game through either bombing/artillery/or starvation. I might as well have been sending them to death/labor camps. Since I starved off newly conquered citys to an decent level while rushing buildings. It really is about the same when you think about it, didn't hurt the storys mood just added to it IMHO.