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**Easthaven I** · November 4, 2002, 01:16

BLAhahahahahaha! LMAO!........

**ChrisiusMaximus** · November 4, 2002, 14:47

Ahem! well like unscratched said about gooberpoxy this is whacked.

But its very funny, please do continue.

**vovan** · November 4, 2002, 16:52

Well, I would say that I am not a huge fan of such humour, but some of the jokes did crack me up. Do continue.

**gooberboob** · November 8, 2002, 01:30

FRESH! FISH! FRESH! FISH! This was the first thing on the news one evening. Two unidentified males were being followed by a swarm of reporters, all of whom were stunned by the seeming inability of the two men to respond in any way.

They were Troy and James.

Bars creaked and rattled, these two men had achieved more infamy than Hitler, and they seemingly killed for fun, and fun only.

Troy and James were now much larger, it being 15 years since the antics in the first grade classroom, puberty had done it's work, and the two little boys were now extremely ripped pieces of sadistic madness.

Rumors had always circulated among their peers that the two were homosexual, but nobody could ever prove it in any form more tangeable than a scrawl on a bathroom stall which read "Troy is gay." Additionally, anybody who even thought it in front of Troy or James would find their head in a piss filled flushing toilet very quickly.

Bathroom hijinx aside, Troy and James were successful in school. They got good grades as long as they played football, basketball, or whatever boy's sport was popular. In other words, they didn't go to class, they just showed up to practice, and dominated.

Spare time was spent in the weight room, each seeing who would be the first to bench press 600 pounds. "20 pounds for each person on the opposing team," they used to say. They had smashed this goal by their Junior years, and were being offered scholarships from every major athletic school in the country. They chose, instead, to join the Marines.

Suddenly they had gone from ordering people around, to getting ordered around, this was not acceptable to them.

They were dishonorably discharged 2 days later for use of illegal substances.

The two men were extremely bored with their lives now, all of their options out of High School had been thwarted, and only one career path looked good to them now.

Organized Crime.

Troy and James were now hitmen for the Rocky Rococo crme family, and they enjoyed their new line of work. They had a preferred way of killing too, and it was based on something they heard long ago about hunting deer:"If you can sneak up on an alert man in his own home and have at least 5 minutes where you could shoot him, then you are halfway to becoming a moderate deer hunter." Their murders took place in broad daylight, always.

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More to come, including gory murder descriptions, please tell me what you would like to see.

**ChrisiusMaximus** · November 8, 2002, 03:04

Well Id like to see these two jerks go down in a hail of bullets, but thats just cause I hate real life *******s!! but as far as your story goes Ill leave you to decide.

Many of the stories here focus on the criminally insane but there usually mad dictators so this will be interesting to see which way it goes.

**gooberboob** · November 8, 2002, 15:21

Antonio Chrisius awoke to the roar of a monstrous SUV. Smoke was belching from the tailpipe as the engine was being revved up to the max. It was working so hard that the earth was shaking with it's horrible power. Antonio went outside, day had just broken, but it was only 6 a.m. He wanted at least another 3 hours of sleep, and this guy in the SUV was preventing his rest.

As he walked out towards the SUV, he drew his gun, whoever this a-hole was, they were going to pay with their life and their beasty SUV.

"Get out of the truck!"

Antonio got no response, but the SUV revved its engine once again.

"Get the F*ck out the truck!"

Antonio's gun was drawn, and the adrenaline was flowing, if he missed this third strike, that truck driver was out.

"GET OUT NOW!!!"

The man behind the wheel put his hands up, and began reaching for the door.

Ssshthink!! The wire saw cut through Antonio's windpipe, and Troy grabbed the Gun. It was back to Rocky's to have some body work done to their vehicle, and also to collect their contract.

They had just killed the head of the MCF - Maximus Crime Family.

"Mister Rococo! We have him."

"Have who?"

"Chrisius"

"Where?"

"In a body bag in the Sport Ute."

"Excellent."

The two men were given one million dollars to split between themselves.

-------
More to come later, but I've got other stuff to do now, sorry for killng you Chrisius, but I needed the name and yours seemed the closest to the character's background.

**ChrisiusMaximus** · November 8, 2002, 16:50

Thanks I guess

**unscratchedfoot** · November 8, 2002, 21:06

cool. hehe hehe hehe hehe

Uh....what's a SUV? Sadistic Unmotivated Varmint?

That was cool when Chrisius got dusted. How about vovansim next?

I like the way you changed perspective to the bad guys point of view, making the hero, Troy, seem like the new NPC.

Want more

Let's see how badass you can make these two gentlemen.

**ChrisiusMaximus** · November 10, 2002, 09:11

You mentioned Metaliturtle in another thread, how well do you know him?

Youre styles are remarkably similar and he seems to have stopped comong here prior to your emmergence.

I wonder! Hmm whatever like the story so far, it is certainly different. Keep it coming and maybe you can rub Scratch as well, Oh I just rubbed Vovan out in my story so be careful he might get a complex if everyone keeps killing him.

**gooberboob** · November 10, 2002, 12:49

Metaliturtle is my neighbor and best friend, his grandmother is ill and he's been with her for a long time, I'm sort of communicating for him via telephone. A lot of his stories I helped him write.

**gooberboob** · November 16, 2002, 17:16

Ssssshthwip, the knife ran through Anthony Bruto's neck with ease, blood was coming out of his severed jugular vein in spurts, two seconds later, it had stopped.

Troy squatted down and let a huge fart rip in the once-living man's face.

James put a cigarette out on his chest.

"I hate when those jerks run"

"No sh*t"

"Well, we should probably go collect our money"

"Yeah, wouldn't want someone to take number 100 away from us would we?"

"I wonder when Rocky will let us retire"

"You kidding? Rocky is the best guy in the world, I retire when I die."

"Suit yourself Troy"

The two left the warehouse they had chased Anthony to. It was a beautiful Sunday afternoon, they brought the head in a duffel bag, it was now a long time since they had bothered with a whole body. The remnants of Anthony would go up in an explosion in about 20 minutes.

Rocky was exceptionally pleased with the latest grab of his prized hitmen, and he had a gift awaiting them. As Troy and James entered Rocky's compound, two matching black Porche's awaited them, the engines fired up with glorious power and noise. Troy and James were beaming.

Rocky came out to meet them wearing a white suit and a ridiculous white hat, the two men tried not to snicker.

"You have what I want, these cars are yours."

"Got it in this bag boss"

"The keys are in the cars, have fun boys."

James and Troy dropped the duffel bag and jumped into the porsches, they were soon burning around the city.

----

"Chief! We've got 'em! We've got the daylight killers!!!"

"Book 'em Danno"

----
We'll see who the cops caught in the next installment

**unscratchedfoot** · November 16, 2002, 23:27

I wanna see them dust the cops.

**unscratchedfoot** · November 26, 2002, 10:57

?

**gooberboob** · November 27, 2002, 16:06

sure, finish it

Announcement

The Decline of Order (not the sequel to Gooberpoxy)

The Decline of Order (not the sequel to Gooberpoxy)

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