Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Murad's Brigade

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Murad's Brigade

    This is my first story ever on apolyton so bear with me... Any feedback would be helpful as this is my first story. I am going to be posting this story in segments. I will be posting another segment in a few days if anybody likes this story. Well here it goes...


    The green rolling hills surrounding the grand Roman city of Pompeii were obscured by the morning mist, that clung low to the ground, as Colonel Mansur led his highly trained, yet still untested cavalry brigade along a curving, narrow country road. A messenger looking as if he had rode all through the night rode up alongside the Colonel.

    "Sir, message for you from General Murad"

    "Ahh...lets see what old Murad wants of me..."

    The messenger then promptly handed the rolled piece of parchment he carried with him to the Colonel. Mansur then slowly unrolled the parchment and began to read its contents.

    "Hikmat" Mansur said, Slightly amused

    "Sir?"

    "That is your name right?"

    "Yes sir."

    "Well then tell the good General that my Brigade will be fortified along the heights overlooking the city until ordered otherwise."

    "Yes sir."

    The Colonel paused "Also tell him that my brigade needs rest, and lots of it after all of this hard riding, as we have gone without it for quite some time."

    "I'll make sure he takes note of that sir."

    "You do that."

    "Sir." The messenger then saluted, gather the rains of his horse and quickly galloped full speed down the dusty dirt road. After watching the messenger disappear behind a hill Mansur gave the order to his sergeants for the brigade to dismount and take up position amoung the trees of this heavily forested hill.

    "Sir sorry to disturb you sir, but why are we dismounting?" One of his sergeants asked."

    "Change of plans sergeant, change of plans."

    "Oh alright sir, thought I ought to ask...for curiosity's sake..."

    "Go rejoin your unit sergeant."

    "Yes sir, sorry sir." The sergeant then saluted and quickly walked back to his unit. A few moments later Mansur's second in command Lt. Ghazi Faisal galloped his horse towards him , dismounted and quickly walked up to him.

    "Sorry sir but what are we doing?"

    "Why we're fortifying this here rise Lieutenant."

    "I know that Jafar, but I..."

    The Colonel cut him off. "First of all lieutenant you refer to me as "sir" around the men, understood?"

    "Yes sir, sorry but..."

    Mansur thaen cut him off a second time. "I know, I know we were supposed to be scouting the area around the city in prepartation for the assault but something serous has come up..." Said the Colonel trailing off as he spoke.

    "Sir, WHAT has come up?" The lieutenant raising his voice.

    "Well, just to clarify things for you lieutenant, it appears, according to the General that the Roman army that we have been hearing so much about, has instead of putting up a stiff defense in order to slow our advance into their sovereign territory, has launched a counter offensive into Babylon."

    "Sir did you say a counter offensive, I thought..."

    "That's what I said Lieutenant, don't believe what they tell you about the Roman Army."

    "So in light of recent events the general wants us to stay put in order to keep his options open."

    "Exactly, but as you now know circumstances have now changed and General Ghazzali's Infantry corps' are no longer directly behind us."

    "So Colonel, we are in essence alone behind enemy lines with only 1,500 men?"

    "Keep your voice down!"

    "Sorry sir."

    "That would be exactly how I would have put it."

    The colonel thought to himself: Here I am in command of a tired and low on ammunition cavalry brigade with mostly new leadership, myself included behind enemy lines in hostile territory, in position overlooking the monst fortified enemy city I have ever seen weth vague orders to hold an isolated hill...interesting...

    "Lieutenant."

    "Yes sir?"

    "Tell the men to conserve their ammnunition as we have very little left from the minor skirmish we had the other day, as I belive that we will be involved in some engagement before this day is through."

    "I'll pass that along to the trigger-happy men sir."

    "Oh and Lieutenant?"

    "Sir?"

    "You wouldn't happen to know the time would you?"

    "Yes sir, it's a little after six...

  • #2
    Very good start,just enough to wet the appetite.
    Keep up the good work.
    A proud member of the "Apolyton Story Writers Guild".There are many great stories at the Civ 3 stories forum, do yourself a favour and visit the forum. Lose yourself in one of many epic tales and be inspired to write yourself, as I was.

    Comment


    • #3
      Very good for your first story. You need to keep going in the same way.

      Comment


      • #4
        I'm going to nominate this for Round 13.

        Comment


        • #5
          Wow, thanx Guitarist and the feedback has been most helpful. I should have another portion of this story done and posted in the next few days.

          Comment


          • #6
            Good story so far. I like it. There aren't enough stories from the point of view of theBabylonians, who are one of favorites. I'm glad. The on problem is it's a little short for a first installment. The first installment should only be really short if it has a great teaser. But that's okay. Oh, and if you want ideas for a behind enemy lines story, click on A Grand Day in my signature. I wrote it about two months ago, and its a lot like yours. Keep it up.
            "The first man who, having fenced off a plot of land, thought of saying, 'This is mine' and found people simple enough to believe him was the real founder of civil society. How many crimes, wars, murders, how many miseries and horrors might the human race had been spared by the one who, upon pulling up the stakes or filling in the ditch, had shouted to his fellow men: 'Beware of listening to this imposter; you are lost if you forget the fruits of the earth belong to all and that the earth belongs to no one." - Jean-Jacques Rousseau

            Comment


            • #7
              This is good. I agree that I havent read any Babylonian stories that I recall, so this is definately diferent. Cant wait for the next segment

              Kman
              "I bet Ikarus eats his own spunk..."
              - BLACKENED from America's Army: Operations
              Kramerman - Creator and Author of The Epic Tale of Navalon in the Civ III Stories Forum

              Comment


              • #8
                This will be my fist addition to this story in quite a while, I know it's short but more should be on the way soon. Since this is my first story i would like to keep it at a reasonable length. (short)

                The first rays of sunlight had first graced the Babylonian Army's encampment hours before as smoke rose from the hundreds of soldier fires boiling the army's morning coffee. Marching orders for the army had still not arrived from Babylon. General Murad and his staff however were busy peering over a map contemplating the army's next move, but until permission from Babylon came through over the telegraph lines, however the army could not march.

                "Now, if we can only some how position a unit to hold the high ground, overlooking Pompeii, we would them have safe passage to position this entire army on excellent ground to mount an attack upon that city."

                "Ahh but my good general we already have a brigade positioned right on that their spot." Brigadier General Zarife said, pointing towards Pompeii on the map.

                "WHAT unit, why was I not told!" Murad surprised that important tactical information was withheld from him."

                "I believe it to be the 357th Nazareth Calvary sir, you were not told as the message received from the commander of the 357th arrived early this morning and Major Atheer believed it important that you get your rest."

                "I don't give a damn what Atheer thought, this is important and I should have been woken because of it!"

                "Sorry sir, But the message gave indications that the brigade could not hold if atta..."

                "Was this message for me general, or not?"

                "Yes sir, it was but..."

                "I don't care, it is my decision to make what is important and what is not! I would assume this will not happen again?"

                "No sir. It will not."

                "Good, now do you happen to know who is the commander of the 357th?"

                "Yes sir, the commanding officer I believe is a Colonel Mansur."

                "Colonel Mansur?"

                "Uhh, yes sir."

                "Hmm, Colonel Mansur. You said his Brigade could not hold that position?"

                "Yes sir according to his reply his men are in serious need of rest and..."

                The general cut him off. "Mansur will hold, he'll hold..."

                Suddenly an aid walked into the makeshift map room, handed the general a yellow piece of paper, quickly saluted and quietly walked out without saying a word. The general then began to read the piece of paper.

                "What is it sir?"

                "Telegram from Babylon, we have our orders to march..."

                Comment

                Working...
                X