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Preface
Do you ever think about what happens when you decide to build a great wonder? Usually you just click on the item on the build queue, adjust the people in your city a bit for optimal performance and maybe drop a worker or 2 into the city. After that is a simple matter of hitting the enter key to end each turn waiting for your wonder to be completed.
One day while wondering if this was all there was to it, I put a microscope on my monitor to see what was happening among my loyal people in my city during my game. A tale rich in adventure and intrigue opened up before me revealing astonishing details of what was really going on. I realized the people involved in the project are just as hungry to finish it as the player and they will go to any lengths to be the first nation to complete it.
This is neither a serious story nor a funny one. It's just a tale to honor those who toil so hard to acomplish what we the players desire.
The Zulus Meet Mr. Lincoln
"We've brought you some symbols of our culture. Please enjoy them." Lincoln pulled some items out of a crumpled brown paper bag and placed them on the table before Shaka. He looked so out of place in his suit inside the straw hut surrounded by curious zulu rulers decked-out in their traditional garb.
Shaka looked with wonder at the strange things: the american flag, a food item which Lincoln called a 'hamburger', a package of flour or something with a picture of a hugely overweight zulu woman on it Lincoln referred to as 'Aunt Jemima', a doll named 'Elvis', a cowboy hat, and a painting of a market which showed people trading cows and chickens.
Shaka picked up the hamburger and looked at it closely. "Go ahead and try it. It's been a month on my ship, but it was kept in ice and is homemade - you'll love it!" Lincoln said. An american interpreter who had lived in Zululand for some time kept both sides informed of what each was saying.
Shaka gobbled down the stale hamburger and his face contorted. "Wahoola! Gohogla muheekomo swalamoko!"
"What did he say?" Lincoln looked at his aide.
"He said, 'Man! This tastes like an antelope that's been sitting out in the sun for too long!'" Lincoln's shoulders slumped and he looked a bit dejected for a moment.
Lincoln went on as he had planned. "The americans are the world leaders of technology. Shaka, you know your people are savages. But America has always tried to help backwards nations like yours for we want you to be prosperous and happy. So I will offer you a sweet deal. For your map of the area, all 53 gold bars you hold in the treasury, and a monthly shipment of 10 tons of ivory lasting for 2 years we will teach you how to build something that will astonish the world."
"And what might that be?" Shaka waited as the interpreter went about his duty.
Lincoln took a piece of parchment from the brown paper bag and unrolled it on the table to reveal a painting.
"Included with this painting are all the instructions written in swahili on how to build it. Your nation will be recognized as a holder of a world cultural icon. It will make your people happy and foreigners will flock to your land to live under the beauty of it. So whaddya say? Are you interested in helping your people?"
Shaka glanced at his comrades who displayed wide smiles and quickly said, "Okay. Throw in a shipment of cowboy hats for all my buddies here to wear and we'll take it. We trust the wisdom of our friend Lincoln."
10 Years Later
Aunt Jemima was a big woman. And her wit matched her size and for that she was the chosen one to supervise the enormous undertaking. Her name was given to her by the zulu people because of her likeness to the image on the pancake mix Lincoln had given them.
She knew how to treat the workers to make them work hard: the best food of the land, dance performances and lion wrestling every evening, and no whipping. She always tried to think of ways to expedite the project which seemed to have no end.
The garden was built on the side of a man-made hill which was formed in tiers. Earth was piled on each tier and water was pumped up through an ingenious engineering system outlined in the plans.
She watched the workers and shouted encouragement, "Bohaba! You drop that fern off the cart again and I'll have you planting poison ivy for the next 5 years!"
At night, the project area was quiet and still but for an occasional crash. The latest fad among young people was "plantation cart crashing". It was incredibly fun and as most good things, had a huge penalty to be paid if one were caught doing it by the nasty animal trainer Mageba, meaning 'dung face', who always had two hungry leopards on a leash with him while patrolling the site.
On one particular night, Punga and his friends were preparing one such cart. The idea of the game was to push a cart to the top of the project site, one or two kids get in and then another person gives the cart a big push down one of the many steep and treacherous courseways. The occupants couldn't steer it but the cart would eventually hit a curbway on the way down and spill the riders into the lush greenery which usually cushioned their fall.
The site managers, never considered to be cool by the kids, failed to see the purpose in the game and were vexed by the damaged landscaping and frequent trips to the hospital for the participants who missed the plants during crashes. Many of the exotic plants were being imported from abroad at exorborant prices given the primitive galleys used at the time so damage to them could not be tolerated.
Punga was actually of Babylonian descent, left behind by his parents 3 years before who were forced out of Zululand after trying to settle in it. His name meant 'pale monkey' because of his pale european skin and monkey-like physique he had inherited from his father. Some of the children had been captured by the zulus to learn about the Babylonian culture. Now Punga, at 13 years old, was fully assimulated into zulu society and had many friends. He had a mischievious streak in him that was sure to get him into trouble.
Punga got into the cart excitedly. His first trip down the courseway a few months back had been terrifying like a wicked roller coaster ride gone off track but now he was a veteran and needed his daily cart crash to keep stimulated. "Mtetwa, push me towards those cool-looking bushes over there!"
Mtetwa gave the cart a running push but tripped during the process. As Mtetwa groaned and fell to the ground, the cart swerved and went down a near-vertical path and then curved into a recently planted japanese sago palm imported for a good part of the nation's plantation budget. The cart hit the curb sideways and Punga spilled into the exceedingly expensive shrub and rolled down through the branches breaking many of them off.
Mageba came climbing up the path breathing hard and trying to hold back the 2 bristling leopards from making a meal of the monkey-like boy. "This is the fourth time I've caught you Punga. Aunt Jemima is gonna explode when she sees you again."
Mageba dragged off the terrified boy to be sentenced again by Aunt Jemima.
The Babylonians Start a Race to Build the Gardens
Aunt Jemima passed through the spearman at the entrance into Shaka's hut. Shaka was at the table sadly dabbling at a painting.
"What's up there Shak? You look like someone put elephant dung in your morning soup."
"It's Lincoln. He called the zulu people 'savages'. I can't forgive him."
Aunt Jemima looked closer at the painting which she saw was the one of the market the Lincoln had given him. Shaka had drawn on a chariot heading towards the market driven by a wide-eyed, frenzied zulu. Inside the chariot was a barrel containing a burning mixture of pitch, sulphur and resin the zulus had learned to make from the greeks.
"Aw c'mon now Shak. You don't wanna blow anything up just 'cause of one remark. Let's talk about the project. That'll cheer you up!"
"That's another problem. I've just started subscribing to the daily Babylonian Times and found out they've been building hanging gardens too for some time. You know only the nation who completes it first will get all the glory."
"Oooh no. We've spent so much time and resources on it. If we lose the race to build it we're doomed to be a third world country." Aunt Jemima added her own bit of lamenting and then her face lit up in a smile. "I know! Let's saboteuge their project! Hehehe, I'm so smart! Hmmm...who can we send there though?" Her big lips puckered as her brain went to work.
Just then, Mageba burst through the door holding Punga by the ear with one hand, and the 2 ferocious cats on a leash in the other.
Do you ever think about what happens when you decide to build a great wonder? Usually you just click on the item on the build queue, adjust the people in your city a bit for optimal performance and maybe drop a worker or 2 into the city. After that is a simple matter of hitting the enter key to end each turn waiting for your wonder to be completed.
One day while wondering if this was all there was to it, I put a microscope on my monitor to see what was happening among my loyal people in my city during my game. A tale rich in adventure and intrigue opened up before me revealing astonishing details of what was really going on. I realized the people involved in the project are just as hungry to finish it as the player and they will go to any lengths to be the first nation to complete it.
This is neither a serious story nor a funny one. It's just a tale to honor those who toil so hard to acomplish what we the players desire.
The Zulus Meet Mr. Lincoln
"We've brought you some symbols of our culture. Please enjoy them." Lincoln pulled some items out of a crumpled brown paper bag and placed them on the table before Shaka. He looked so out of place in his suit inside the straw hut surrounded by curious zulu rulers decked-out in their traditional garb.
Shaka looked with wonder at the strange things: the american flag, a food item which Lincoln called a 'hamburger', a package of flour or something with a picture of a hugely overweight zulu woman on it Lincoln referred to as 'Aunt Jemima', a doll named 'Elvis', a cowboy hat, and a painting of a market which showed people trading cows and chickens.
Shaka picked up the hamburger and looked at it closely. "Go ahead and try it. It's been a month on my ship, but it was kept in ice and is homemade - you'll love it!" Lincoln said. An american interpreter who had lived in Zululand for some time kept both sides informed of what each was saying.
Shaka gobbled down the stale hamburger and his face contorted. "Wahoola! Gohogla muheekomo swalamoko!"
"What did he say?" Lincoln looked at his aide.
"He said, 'Man! This tastes like an antelope that's been sitting out in the sun for too long!'" Lincoln's shoulders slumped and he looked a bit dejected for a moment.
Lincoln went on as he had planned. "The americans are the world leaders of technology. Shaka, you know your people are savages. But America has always tried to help backwards nations like yours for we want you to be prosperous and happy. So I will offer you a sweet deal. For your map of the area, all 53 gold bars you hold in the treasury, and a monthly shipment of 10 tons of ivory lasting for 2 years we will teach you how to build something that will astonish the world."
"And what might that be?" Shaka waited as the interpreter went about his duty.
Lincoln took a piece of parchment from the brown paper bag and unrolled it on the table to reveal a painting.
"Included with this painting are all the instructions written in swahili on how to build it. Your nation will be recognized as a holder of a world cultural icon. It will make your people happy and foreigners will flock to your land to live under the beauty of it. So whaddya say? Are you interested in helping your people?"
Shaka glanced at his comrades who displayed wide smiles and quickly said, "Okay. Throw in a shipment of cowboy hats for all my buddies here to wear and we'll take it. We trust the wisdom of our friend Lincoln."
10 Years Later
Aunt Jemima was a big woman. And her wit matched her size and for that she was the chosen one to supervise the enormous undertaking. Her name was given to her by the zulu people because of her likeness to the image on the pancake mix Lincoln had given them.
She knew how to treat the workers to make them work hard: the best food of the land, dance performances and lion wrestling every evening, and no whipping. She always tried to think of ways to expedite the project which seemed to have no end.
The garden was built on the side of a man-made hill which was formed in tiers. Earth was piled on each tier and water was pumped up through an ingenious engineering system outlined in the plans.
She watched the workers and shouted encouragement, "Bohaba! You drop that fern off the cart again and I'll have you planting poison ivy for the next 5 years!"
At night, the project area was quiet and still but for an occasional crash. The latest fad among young people was "plantation cart crashing". It was incredibly fun and as most good things, had a huge penalty to be paid if one were caught doing it by the nasty animal trainer Mageba, meaning 'dung face', who always had two hungry leopards on a leash with him while patrolling the site.
On one particular night, Punga and his friends were preparing one such cart. The idea of the game was to push a cart to the top of the project site, one or two kids get in and then another person gives the cart a big push down one of the many steep and treacherous courseways. The occupants couldn't steer it but the cart would eventually hit a curbway on the way down and spill the riders into the lush greenery which usually cushioned their fall.
The site managers, never considered to be cool by the kids, failed to see the purpose in the game and were vexed by the damaged landscaping and frequent trips to the hospital for the participants who missed the plants during crashes. Many of the exotic plants were being imported from abroad at exorborant prices given the primitive galleys used at the time so damage to them could not be tolerated.
Punga was actually of Babylonian descent, left behind by his parents 3 years before who were forced out of Zululand after trying to settle in it. His name meant 'pale monkey' because of his pale european skin and monkey-like physique he had inherited from his father. Some of the children had been captured by the zulus to learn about the Babylonian culture. Now Punga, at 13 years old, was fully assimulated into zulu society and had many friends. He had a mischievious streak in him that was sure to get him into trouble.
Punga got into the cart excitedly. His first trip down the courseway a few months back had been terrifying like a wicked roller coaster ride gone off track but now he was a veteran and needed his daily cart crash to keep stimulated. "Mtetwa, push me towards those cool-looking bushes over there!"
Mtetwa gave the cart a running push but tripped during the process. As Mtetwa groaned and fell to the ground, the cart swerved and went down a near-vertical path and then curved into a recently planted japanese sago palm imported for a good part of the nation's plantation budget. The cart hit the curb sideways and Punga spilled into the exceedingly expensive shrub and rolled down through the branches breaking many of them off.
Mageba came climbing up the path breathing hard and trying to hold back the 2 bristling leopards from making a meal of the monkey-like boy. "This is the fourth time I've caught you Punga. Aunt Jemima is gonna explode when she sees you again."
Mageba dragged off the terrified boy to be sentenced again by Aunt Jemima.
The Babylonians Start a Race to Build the Gardens
Aunt Jemima passed through the spearman at the entrance into Shaka's hut. Shaka was at the table sadly dabbling at a painting.
"What's up there Shak? You look like someone put elephant dung in your morning soup."
"It's Lincoln. He called the zulu people 'savages'. I can't forgive him."
Aunt Jemima looked closer at the painting which she saw was the one of the market the Lincoln had given him. Shaka had drawn on a chariot heading towards the market driven by a wide-eyed, frenzied zulu. Inside the chariot was a barrel containing a burning mixture of pitch, sulphur and resin the zulus had learned to make from the greeks.
"Aw c'mon now Shak. You don't wanna blow anything up just 'cause of one remark. Let's talk about the project. That'll cheer you up!"
"That's another problem. I've just started subscribing to the daily Babylonian Times and found out they've been building hanging gardens too for some time. You know only the nation who completes it first will get all the glory."
"Oooh no. We've spent so much time and resources on it. If we lose the race to build it we're doomed to be a third world country." Aunt Jemima added her own bit of lamenting and then her face lit up in a smile. "I know! Let's saboteuge their project! Hehehe, I'm so smart! Hmmm...who can we send there though?" Her big lips puckered as her brain went to work.
Just then, Mageba burst through the door holding Punga by the ear with one hand, and the 2 ferocious cats on a leash in the other.
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