The Charioteer's Campaigns
"We're moving again!" the Unit's banner bearer and crier, Paiktis shouted, then left the tavern, running back to the barracks.
Markos cursed, "Blast. I forgot." He stood up and apologized to his drinking mates who mumbled drunken catcalls, insults, and a few genuine goodbyes. Another charioteer, his driver, Dan got up and left with Markos.
Markos stumbled slightly as he left the establishment, blinking his eyes. "Ugh," he muttered to himself, "why did I d-d-d-d-d-" he hit himself in the head, "drink so much, ugh,"
"Eh, don't feel too bad friend," Dan chidingly smiled and chuckled. "Remember, to a sober man the world looks bleak, but to a drunken man, it's frequently skewed… And if the skewing proves interesting, all the better. Besides, you'll provide me with boundless entertainment when the Captain sees you. Ha! And to think I warned you of the hazards of drink. Well, I was certainly intelligent, I stayed away from the bottle."
Markos grumbled in reply.
"It's not MY fault that your wife left you, my dear friend. It's your fault for loving the sword- and the bottle-" Dan made chugging gestures, mimicking drinking, "too much."
"Shut up!" Markos screamed, then stumbled forward into a wet ditch.
Dan stood over him, a sly grin on his face, and extended an arm to help him up. Markos declined the assistance, and instead chose to flail about in the mud, dirtying his bronze suit of armor. Dan tisked him for a bit, then bent down and forcefully grabbed Markos, dragging him up. "Just look at you- sheesh," Dan chided him and shook his head.
Together they walked towards the barracks. Or rather, Markos stumbled and Dan supported him.
*
Lord Axi, commander of the Charioteer unit strode forth to review the troops. All was going quite well until he reached Markos. "Why, you dishevled, poor excuse for a trooper, how dare you, how DARE you sully your uniform as such. Have you no PRIDE in your native Greece. Do you not RESPECT your homeland! You DESERVE punishment for this laxity. I'll have to think of something SPECIAL for you trooper- do you HEAR ME!?"
"Yes Lord." Markos mumbled.
"I can't hear you, TROOPER!"
"Yes LORD!" Markos screamed and clicked his heels together, then swayed unsteadily.
"Good Trooper- wait a second, is that BEER or is that WINE that I smell on your breath."
Markos was silent. Dan chirped in, "Sir, it's beer."
"DID I ASK YOU!" Lord Axi's eyes flamed as he turned to face Dan.
"No, SIR!" Dan drew himself up and saluted his Lord.
"Very well," Axi considered, then turned to Markos, "for that disgusting display and your disgusting drunkneness, you poor excuse for a trooper, I'll have you give me two hundred pushups before nightfall, and, after you sober up, you'll stand night guard duty middle shift and late shift, then you'll chop wood for us instead of tending to the fires or setting up tents or all those ***** jobs that lazy ******* can get away with. And you'll do this, trooper for three weeks!
"Do you underSTAND?"
"YES, LORD!" Markos saluted.
Lord Axi considered Markos for a few more moments, then snorted, shook his head and continued on the line of review.
*
Later that night, Dan and Markos worked on firewood cutting duty.
"Ah, apologies, Markos, but I thought the extra work the punishment would warrant would do you good- put you to work, make you cease your never-ending sulking- and besides, the drinking WAS your idea, friend." Dan said. Markos merely grunted.
"Come on Markos, I'm sorry- but you have to let go of your grief sometime- that was the third day you sat in that tavern dousing yourself with beer and spending all your monies- that's just no way to live man, you have to grow out of that woman."
Markos finally snapped, and turned to Dan, growling, "If YOU were ANY sort of a friend, I mean ANY sort of a friend, you'd have let me sit there instead of dragging me to this hell-hole of an army."
I can't say I'm sorry for that." Dan replied, lifting the axe high, "but if I didn't get you, someone else would, or, perhaps your head would be chopped of by now…" Dan's blow came down hard on the wood, splitting it. "Much like this wood here. You do know the penalty for treason, don't you."
Markos replied naught.
Dan sighed, and continued chopping.
*
Four weeks later; near the Greek/Babylonian Border
Around a blazing fire sat three full chariot teams of three, regaling each other with stories and eating deer meat.
Thucudydies the Archer smiled toothily, "Thar be Babbylonians over that thare next rise, akkording to rumors."
"A lot of things are true… 'according to rumors.'" Markos spat into the fire
"Yar, but I'vea got thish on good account, friend- ah little bird told me, har har har." Thucudydies' laugh was not the type of laugh anyone would be proud of… It was much too sharp, shrill and harsh. Markos tried to ignore it, returning to tending his fire.
Suddenly they heard a shout. All gathered grabbed their swords. Seconds later they heard a trumpet sound. "Blast!" Dan swore, jumping up from his interrupted respite.
Another shout came from the top of the ridge, "They're on us!"
"Whose fool idea was it anyway to camp in this valley!" Dan shouted.
"Belike it wash because ofa tha forest, parhaps Lord Axi thaught we could hide in thar bush?" Thucudydies offered.
"'Belike', Lord Axi wasn't thinking at all," Markos muttered, running towards the hill, sword unsheathed.
"Damn." Thucudydies swore. "Thee Devil taketh them, I can't use myh bow, the beasts are toh close." Thucudydies cast a last longing look towards his bow, lying peacefully near his tent, then set forth with his sword unsheathed, ready to meet the enemy.
Markos slashed at the first Babylonian who dared lay arms on him, slicing open his gut. The Babylonian sputtered, then fell face down flat. "Good show!" Dan called to him, mere paces away. "Ah, go howl." Markos spat. "Still mad- good!" Dan parried a blow. "It'll make you fight better- the Berserker's the way you see, to fight these Barbarian fiends." Dan sliced at his opponent, a wiry, young Babylonian. His opponent easily parried it with his shield. "I really must learn to fight better," Dan commented, jumping away from the Babylonian's next foray.
"Long Live Nebuchadnezzar II!" Came the shouts as the Babylonian raiding party withdrew. "Long Live Prince Beno! Long Live General Siddiqui!"
"Ah, well, we seem to have carried the day." A smiling, blood covered Greek approached Dan, wiping his sword clean. "Ah, good Oz of the Wolf, it's good to see you still alive."
"And you," Oz reciprocated the thanks.
"Ah, fair idiots, fair friends," Markos called, approaching the pair.
"Ho, what's this?" Dan mockingly twittered.
"You neglect to determine just what the cause of this raid may be."
"Why to ****ing set us off our guard." Oz laughed. "But we ****ing showed the ****ers."
"****ing right!" Dan pounded him on the back.
"Has anyone taken care to check the status of the chariots."
"Why would anyone assault the chariots?" Oz smiled back at Markos.
"Because- killing our horses would sure put us at a disadvantage tomorrow when their main force sallies forth to meet ours."
"Ah, a likely trouble- but that's not our business, Lord Kramerman has that duty, friend." Dan smiled at Markos.
Markos stood and considered, then nodded, "Correct, it's none of our business. Let's retire."
"Yes, lets. It's unlikely they'll try another assault before morning." Dan strode off towards the tents.
Oz of the Wolf joined Dan. Markos fell into line behind them.
'How the hell did I end up here?' Thucudydies' thoughts, much clearer and easier to understand than his words voiced the feelings of many of the defenders of the charioteer's horses. Thucudydies had been swept away by the fighting and ended up on the other side of the camp, pursuing a nasty little demonic Babylonian who had scratched his arm with a sword, then run quickly away. "I'll hava ya guts for myah suppah!" Thucudydies had screamed as he followed him.
Finally the short Babylonian was dead, at Thucudydies hands; however Thucudydies had no time for gloating. The mass of the raiding force had come upon the horses and had already sliced through the defenders' lines. Many horses screams were beginning to be cut off, and a few were running off, their ropes which had tied them to the ground, cut by swords.
Thucudydies stood at the edge of what could only be called the worst carnage of the night; not the worst carnage Thucudydies had seen, but the worst there could be when so few Babylonians assaulted the camp. Over ten Greeks were dead on the ground to the Babylonians' one. The only explanation for that was the Greeks guarding the horses had neglected to place sentries. A mistake they likely regretted in the short moments before they died.
Only a couple of Greeks remained to battle the ferocious foe. The Greeks stood back to back, shouting curses at the Babylonians. Thucudydies swallowed his fear and rushed into the horde of Babylonians, screaming "Long Live Lord Axi!"
Several Babylonians turned to Thucudydies. One grunted something in the guttral language of the Babylonians and he, and his friend went off to slay Thucudydies.
Suddenly, the shouts, "Long Live Prince Beno! Long Live General Siddiqui!" began, and the Babylonians reluctantly peeled off, then ran. Thucudydies stood astonished, then made his way over to the horses and the men who had been battling the Babylonians only moments before.
Both the men lay on the ground, one already dead, a hole in his chest, while the other lay gurgling blood on the ground. Thucudydies bent to administer aid to the living one when the living one gurgled out, "No- the- horses!" Then continued to hack up blood. Thucudydies clenched his teeth, thinking 'Well, there's nothing I can do for him, and, the horses are more important."
Thucudydies looked up at the horses and saw them still bucking. He then observed two, riding away in the forest. He called to the camp, then undid a rope, and jumped on one of the horses. As he rode, he picked up the stabling-reins, kicked the horse in its side and rode off after the escaped horses. He caught up with them ten minutes later and attempted to grab their reins as he rode between them. The animals, obviously chariot-partners were extremely calm as Thucudydies grabbed their reins and pulled them back in. He wondered why…
*
"Lord Kramerman is dead, Lord." Paitkis announced to his Lord.
"That fool." Lord Axi muttered.
"And all his squad- all twelve."
"How many horses?"
"Seven dead of sword wounds, one mercifully killed because of a broken leg suffered in bucking, and five missing."
"Make that two missin, Milord," Thucudydies entered the tent and bowed.
"Guards!" Lord Axi screamed, "Who let this man in?"
"I did sir," one of the guards appeared at the door flap.
"Why!" Lord Axi demanded.
"He returned with three of the lost horses, Sir."
"Ah, I see," Lord Axi's temper cooled. "You have done a good deed man, a good deed indeed- perhaps you shall be commended- perhaps not- in the mean time, ready for battle, we set off an hour before dawn."
"Yes Lord." Thucudydies saluted Lord Axi, then left the tent, slightly muttering. He had expected a commendation. "Oh well, sauch is life." He threw up his arms in defeat and returned to his tent to begin packing and readying his arrows.
*
"So, we ride." Markos commented dryly as the three set forth in their chariot, drawn by two stallions.
"So we do." Dan remarked, a slight less flamboyant as usual, his mind set on the cruel duty they would have to do forthwith.
"Aye, we doso, and haw we return only Jupitah may know." Thucudydies stated.
"Aye." Markos murmered.
Their chariot, and others around it, set forth loudly to meet their foe.
On the other hill, the Babylonians waited until their leader, God-General Imran gave the signal, and they charged…
Shalt I continueth this?
"We're moving again!" the Unit's banner bearer and crier, Paiktis shouted, then left the tavern, running back to the barracks.
Markos cursed, "Blast. I forgot." He stood up and apologized to his drinking mates who mumbled drunken catcalls, insults, and a few genuine goodbyes. Another charioteer, his driver, Dan got up and left with Markos.
Markos stumbled slightly as he left the establishment, blinking his eyes. "Ugh," he muttered to himself, "why did I d-d-d-d-d-" he hit himself in the head, "drink so much, ugh,"
"Eh, don't feel too bad friend," Dan chidingly smiled and chuckled. "Remember, to a sober man the world looks bleak, but to a drunken man, it's frequently skewed… And if the skewing proves interesting, all the better. Besides, you'll provide me with boundless entertainment when the Captain sees you. Ha! And to think I warned you of the hazards of drink. Well, I was certainly intelligent, I stayed away from the bottle."
Markos grumbled in reply.
"It's not MY fault that your wife left you, my dear friend. It's your fault for loving the sword- and the bottle-" Dan made chugging gestures, mimicking drinking, "too much."
"Shut up!" Markos screamed, then stumbled forward into a wet ditch.
Dan stood over him, a sly grin on his face, and extended an arm to help him up. Markos declined the assistance, and instead chose to flail about in the mud, dirtying his bronze suit of armor. Dan tisked him for a bit, then bent down and forcefully grabbed Markos, dragging him up. "Just look at you- sheesh," Dan chided him and shook his head.
Together they walked towards the barracks. Or rather, Markos stumbled and Dan supported him.
*
Lord Axi, commander of the Charioteer unit strode forth to review the troops. All was going quite well until he reached Markos. "Why, you dishevled, poor excuse for a trooper, how dare you, how DARE you sully your uniform as such. Have you no PRIDE in your native Greece. Do you not RESPECT your homeland! You DESERVE punishment for this laxity. I'll have to think of something SPECIAL for you trooper- do you HEAR ME!?"
"Yes Lord." Markos mumbled.
"I can't hear you, TROOPER!"
"Yes LORD!" Markos screamed and clicked his heels together, then swayed unsteadily.
"Good Trooper- wait a second, is that BEER or is that WINE that I smell on your breath."
Markos was silent. Dan chirped in, "Sir, it's beer."
"DID I ASK YOU!" Lord Axi's eyes flamed as he turned to face Dan.
"No, SIR!" Dan drew himself up and saluted his Lord.
"Very well," Axi considered, then turned to Markos, "for that disgusting display and your disgusting drunkneness, you poor excuse for a trooper, I'll have you give me two hundred pushups before nightfall, and, after you sober up, you'll stand night guard duty middle shift and late shift, then you'll chop wood for us instead of tending to the fires or setting up tents or all those ***** jobs that lazy ******* can get away with. And you'll do this, trooper for three weeks!
"Do you underSTAND?"
"YES, LORD!" Markos saluted.
Lord Axi considered Markos for a few more moments, then snorted, shook his head and continued on the line of review.
*
Later that night, Dan and Markos worked on firewood cutting duty.
"Ah, apologies, Markos, but I thought the extra work the punishment would warrant would do you good- put you to work, make you cease your never-ending sulking- and besides, the drinking WAS your idea, friend." Dan said. Markos merely grunted.
"Come on Markos, I'm sorry- but you have to let go of your grief sometime- that was the third day you sat in that tavern dousing yourself with beer and spending all your monies- that's just no way to live man, you have to grow out of that woman."
Markos finally snapped, and turned to Dan, growling, "If YOU were ANY sort of a friend, I mean ANY sort of a friend, you'd have let me sit there instead of dragging me to this hell-hole of an army."
I can't say I'm sorry for that." Dan replied, lifting the axe high, "but if I didn't get you, someone else would, or, perhaps your head would be chopped of by now…" Dan's blow came down hard on the wood, splitting it. "Much like this wood here. You do know the penalty for treason, don't you."
Markos replied naught.
Dan sighed, and continued chopping.
*
Four weeks later; near the Greek/Babylonian Border
Around a blazing fire sat three full chariot teams of three, regaling each other with stories and eating deer meat.
Thucudydies the Archer smiled toothily, "Thar be Babbylonians over that thare next rise, akkording to rumors."
"A lot of things are true… 'according to rumors.'" Markos spat into the fire
"Yar, but I'vea got thish on good account, friend- ah little bird told me, har har har." Thucudydies' laugh was not the type of laugh anyone would be proud of… It was much too sharp, shrill and harsh. Markos tried to ignore it, returning to tending his fire.
Suddenly they heard a shout. All gathered grabbed their swords. Seconds later they heard a trumpet sound. "Blast!" Dan swore, jumping up from his interrupted respite.
Another shout came from the top of the ridge, "They're on us!"
"Whose fool idea was it anyway to camp in this valley!" Dan shouted.
"Belike it wash because ofa tha forest, parhaps Lord Axi thaught we could hide in thar bush?" Thucudydies offered.
"'Belike', Lord Axi wasn't thinking at all," Markos muttered, running towards the hill, sword unsheathed.
"Damn." Thucudydies swore. "Thee Devil taketh them, I can't use myh bow, the beasts are toh close." Thucudydies cast a last longing look towards his bow, lying peacefully near his tent, then set forth with his sword unsheathed, ready to meet the enemy.
Markos slashed at the first Babylonian who dared lay arms on him, slicing open his gut. The Babylonian sputtered, then fell face down flat. "Good show!" Dan called to him, mere paces away. "Ah, go howl." Markos spat. "Still mad- good!" Dan parried a blow. "It'll make you fight better- the Berserker's the way you see, to fight these Barbarian fiends." Dan sliced at his opponent, a wiry, young Babylonian. His opponent easily parried it with his shield. "I really must learn to fight better," Dan commented, jumping away from the Babylonian's next foray.
"Long Live Nebuchadnezzar II!" Came the shouts as the Babylonian raiding party withdrew. "Long Live Prince Beno! Long Live General Siddiqui!"
"Ah, well, we seem to have carried the day." A smiling, blood covered Greek approached Dan, wiping his sword clean. "Ah, good Oz of the Wolf, it's good to see you still alive."
"And you," Oz reciprocated the thanks.
"Ah, fair idiots, fair friends," Markos called, approaching the pair.
"Ho, what's this?" Dan mockingly twittered.
"You neglect to determine just what the cause of this raid may be."
"Why to ****ing set us off our guard." Oz laughed. "But we ****ing showed the ****ers."
"****ing right!" Dan pounded him on the back.
"Has anyone taken care to check the status of the chariots."
"Why would anyone assault the chariots?" Oz smiled back at Markos.
"Because- killing our horses would sure put us at a disadvantage tomorrow when their main force sallies forth to meet ours."
"Ah, a likely trouble- but that's not our business, Lord Kramerman has that duty, friend." Dan smiled at Markos.
Markos stood and considered, then nodded, "Correct, it's none of our business. Let's retire."
"Yes, lets. It's unlikely they'll try another assault before morning." Dan strode off towards the tents.
Oz of the Wolf joined Dan. Markos fell into line behind them.
'How the hell did I end up here?' Thucudydies' thoughts, much clearer and easier to understand than his words voiced the feelings of many of the defenders of the charioteer's horses. Thucudydies had been swept away by the fighting and ended up on the other side of the camp, pursuing a nasty little demonic Babylonian who had scratched his arm with a sword, then run quickly away. "I'll hava ya guts for myah suppah!" Thucudydies had screamed as he followed him.
Finally the short Babylonian was dead, at Thucudydies hands; however Thucudydies had no time for gloating. The mass of the raiding force had come upon the horses and had already sliced through the defenders' lines. Many horses screams were beginning to be cut off, and a few were running off, their ropes which had tied them to the ground, cut by swords.
Thucudydies stood at the edge of what could only be called the worst carnage of the night; not the worst carnage Thucudydies had seen, but the worst there could be when so few Babylonians assaulted the camp. Over ten Greeks were dead on the ground to the Babylonians' one. The only explanation for that was the Greeks guarding the horses had neglected to place sentries. A mistake they likely regretted in the short moments before they died.
Only a couple of Greeks remained to battle the ferocious foe. The Greeks stood back to back, shouting curses at the Babylonians. Thucudydies swallowed his fear and rushed into the horde of Babylonians, screaming "Long Live Lord Axi!"
Several Babylonians turned to Thucudydies. One grunted something in the guttral language of the Babylonians and he, and his friend went off to slay Thucudydies.
Suddenly, the shouts, "Long Live Prince Beno! Long Live General Siddiqui!" began, and the Babylonians reluctantly peeled off, then ran. Thucudydies stood astonished, then made his way over to the horses and the men who had been battling the Babylonians only moments before.
Both the men lay on the ground, one already dead, a hole in his chest, while the other lay gurgling blood on the ground. Thucudydies bent to administer aid to the living one when the living one gurgled out, "No- the- horses!" Then continued to hack up blood. Thucudydies clenched his teeth, thinking 'Well, there's nothing I can do for him, and, the horses are more important."
Thucudydies looked up at the horses and saw them still bucking. He then observed two, riding away in the forest. He called to the camp, then undid a rope, and jumped on one of the horses. As he rode, he picked up the stabling-reins, kicked the horse in its side and rode off after the escaped horses. He caught up with them ten minutes later and attempted to grab their reins as he rode between them. The animals, obviously chariot-partners were extremely calm as Thucudydies grabbed their reins and pulled them back in. He wondered why…
*
"Lord Kramerman is dead, Lord." Paitkis announced to his Lord.
"That fool." Lord Axi muttered.
"And all his squad- all twelve."
"How many horses?"
"Seven dead of sword wounds, one mercifully killed because of a broken leg suffered in bucking, and five missing."
"Make that two missin, Milord," Thucudydies entered the tent and bowed.
"Guards!" Lord Axi screamed, "Who let this man in?"
"I did sir," one of the guards appeared at the door flap.
"Why!" Lord Axi demanded.
"He returned with three of the lost horses, Sir."
"Ah, I see," Lord Axi's temper cooled. "You have done a good deed man, a good deed indeed- perhaps you shall be commended- perhaps not- in the mean time, ready for battle, we set off an hour before dawn."
"Yes Lord." Thucudydies saluted Lord Axi, then left the tent, slightly muttering. He had expected a commendation. "Oh well, sauch is life." He threw up his arms in defeat and returned to his tent to begin packing and readying his arrows.
*
"So, we ride." Markos commented dryly as the three set forth in their chariot, drawn by two stallions.
"So we do." Dan remarked, a slight less flamboyant as usual, his mind set on the cruel duty they would have to do forthwith.
"Aye, we doso, and haw we return only Jupitah may know." Thucudydies stated.
"Aye." Markos murmered.
Their chariot, and others around it, set forth loudly to meet their foe.
On the other hill, the Babylonians waited until their leader, God-General Imran gave the signal, and they charged…
Shalt I continueth this?
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