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LIONS DEFEAT GLADIATORS- A Humorous Look at Civ III
LIONS DEFEAT GLADIATORS
1507
"Put that newspaper away Felix, you're supposed to be a 'WARRIOR', for heavens sake, and you shouldnt be literate, only 10% of the population is! What makes yo think you are better than me!"
"Yeah, yeah, yeah." Felix exasparatedly shoved the paper into his ves.
"Now go out there and slay some Persians!" His wife gave him a peck on the cheek as she shooed him out the door of their brown hut. Felix went grudgingly and joined his formation commanded by Commander Johannes, the Emperor's father's mother's brother's niece's grandaughter's father's former roommate, which amde him and th Emperor- Absolutely nothing, but Johannes thought it did, and rubbed in in the face of his WARRIORS every chance he got.
"Today, we go on Coastal maneouvers!" The members of the unit groaned, feeling the full weight of their 1,500 years as men of the unit.
"Come on, the Emperor thinmks us useless, but we'll show him1" Johannes gave a large yell, attempitng to raise the mens' morale.
"But we ARE useless." One trooper remarked
"What?" Johannes screamed
"Our scientists just discovered Invention- we should be upgraded soon- they are using PIKEMEN for defense now!"
"PIKEMEN are swines, they are useless." Johannes sneered.
Every WARRIOR's head nodded ,even the one rooper idiotic enought to raise the issue. " But they are MODERN," He persisted.
"nothing is MODERN until nfter we enter the Industrial Age." Johannes declared.
"The waht?" several troopers inquired.
" The Industrial Age- hey!" Johannes noticed several suspicious stares forming. "I don't know much else about it- ask the Scientists, they told me about it and they can see into what future research may bring."
The murmers died as heads nodded. the Scientists were as gods, able to see what the next advance would do and be BEFORE it was researched.
-and the march began
-Then they reached the sea.
"What is that?" Another WARRIOR pointed to a steel BATTLESHIP in the distance.
"Someone must have been cheating." Johannes looked grim. "Form up warriors!" he ordered, and the warriors formed up behind Johannes as one man and faced the sea.
Teh BATTLESHIP fired.
The WARRIOR charged.
-Amazingly the BATTLESHIP sank.
The WARRIOR deformed.
"So," Felix considered, thiking back to the headline which had so interested him earlier in the morning, "Lions can defeat Gladiators."
1507
"Put that newspaper away Felix, you're supposed to be a 'WARRIOR', for heavens sake, and you shouldnt be literate, only 10% of the population is! What makes yo think you are better than me!"
"Yeah, yeah, yeah." Felix exasparatedly shoved the paper into his ves.
"Now go out there and slay some Persians!" His wife gave him a peck on the cheek as she shooed him out the door of their brown hut. Felix went grudgingly and joined his formation commanded by Commander Johannes, the Emperor's father's mother's brother's niece's grandaughter's father's former roommate, which amde him and th Emperor- Absolutely nothing, but Johannes thought it did, and rubbed in in the face of his WARRIORS every chance he got.
"Today, we go on Coastal maneouvers!" The members of the unit groaned, feeling the full weight of their 1,500 years as men of the unit.
"Come on, the Emperor thinmks us useless, but we'll show him1" Johannes gave a large yell, attempitng to raise the mens' morale.
"But we ARE useless." One trooper remarked
"What?" Johannes screamed
"Our scientists just discovered Invention- we should be upgraded soon- they are using PIKEMEN for defense now!"
"PIKEMEN are swines, they are useless." Johannes sneered.
Every WARRIOR's head nodded ,even the one rooper idiotic enought to raise the issue. " But they are MODERN," He persisted.
"nothing is MODERN until nfter we enter the Industrial Age." Johannes declared.
"The waht?" several troopers inquired.
" The Industrial Age- hey!" Johannes noticed several suspicious stares forming. "I don't know much else about it- ask the Scientists, they told me about it and they can see into what future research may bring."
The murmers died as heads nodded. the Scientists were as gods, able to see what the next advance would do and be BEFORE it was researched.
-and the march began
-Then they reached the sea.
"What is that?" Another WARRIOR pointed to a steel BATTLESHIP in the distance.
"Someone must have been cheating." Johannes looked grim. "Form up warriors!" he ordered, and the warriors formed up behind Johannes as one man and faced the sea.
Teh BATTLESHIP fired.
The WARRIOR charged.
-Amazingly the BATTLESHIP sank.
The WARRIOR deformed.
"So," Felix considered, thiking back to the headline which had so interested him earlier in the morning, "Lions can defeat Gladiators."
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