Afro Wars

[Metaliturtle]

Umm, just read it
~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Afro Al is in the heyzay!!!!!!"

The funkadelic disco-rap tuneage that had become the national Zulu anthem kicked in. Here came strutting a tall man, he stood 8' 2" but without the Afro, he was still a solid 4' 5". He began to break it down:

"I'm Afro Al and I'm here to say, livin in the city feels good today
struttin up my red carpets everybody knows that they cant stop it."

The crowd went into the Afro chant (think old-school kool-aid commercials Kool Aid!)

Af-fro! Af-fro!

"Afro Al knows whats best, the Zulu nation beats all the rest
China, Germany, America you know, I beat them then I grew an Afro!"

Af-fro! Af-fro!

Slowly the funky music died down and Afro Al began his rallying speech. The box they had him standing on made him look tall, but the people in the back thought that Ralf the giant Furby had returned.

"Zulu Nation, lend me your picks"

Thousands of Afro picks were immediately flung onto the stage, much to the crowd's enjoyment, several stuck in Afro Al's gigantic Afro.

"Thank you"

"YOU'RE WELCOME!!!!" The overexcited crowd yelled back.

"Believe it or not, another nation has laid claim to the official Zulu Hairstyle, the Afro."

"BOOOOO" The crowd wanted Afros all to themselves

"The nation in question is not nearby, it is thousands of miles away from here, believe it or not, the nation that is now sportin' 'fros is China."

"What the HELL!" Now the crowd was furious, did he mean that millions of people who didn't have the hair were emulating the 'fro? They had to be stopped.

______________________________
I'm getting into this so it isn't going to be as short as I initially thought, feedback appreciated.

[High Lord J]

We should do a "ANES" Afro Never Ending Story!

[High Lord J]

Could I write the Chinease point of view and we can alternate? If you want to write it all yourself I understand as it is the greatest story idea ever.

[Metaliturtle]

[Metaliturtle]

Go ahead, 2 man story (I wonder if it can win a contest?) We take turns posting story parts, agreed? This way I don't get reamed for screwing up SNESA2 with Afro-peace

[trickey]

nice start, this could be a classic if you spend some time on it. i hope a bit more civ realted in the future.

[Metaliturtle]

Afro Al is the leader of the Zulu Empire, they've conquered a bunch of smaller civs, giving them leisure time to invent the Afro (Luxury Allocation).

[johncmcleod]

this is funny... it will be a classic.

[High Lord J]

Mao walks out in front of his advisors."Yo! The Zulu have smaller afro's then us! Our culture could top them any time dawg!" said the one advisor. "Not only that but with the Chinese Fro Headspin we could easily win any break dancing contest!"
"The Zulu feel they have they are as advanced as we are. They know the Afro, Break dancing, and the Boom Box like us. They also know of something called the 'jive' but we know of 'afro rapping,''"said the other advisor, "there breakdancing team is larger then ours!"
Mao starts to rap "Yo, yo let the cities know that they need to train some break dancers. Double the legal size of the afro, bro and give me some time to bust some moves, listen to the 'New Techno Movement' and speak to the gods about tripling my afro." Mao picks up his boom box puts it over his shoulder turns it up real high and struts out.
Mao's daughter walks out of the shadow. She was plotting to kill her father and take his place with the god's as head afro. She can only grow her Afro half his size and it made her angry. So she started to do the 'Ancient Chinese Afro Headspin.'

[Metaliturtle]

hehe, written in rap
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Afro Al comes struttin' out his diplomacy's what he's about
He strutted up into to china's face and thought of the daughter "what an ace"

He looked at Mao and he did grin, they were face to face but Mao's 'fro was thin.
He didn't know what to say to that, so he said "Yo daughter's hella phat."

"She should come and marry me, and see all that she ought to see"
"I can show her 'fros, and jive and hos, all of this, she should know"

"So what do you have to say? if you say no I'll call you gay"

[TheDarkCavalier]

Damn, Metaliturtle, all your stories are utter bullcrap .... sorry ...

[Metaliturtle]

Hey, nobody said this would win any prizes

[High Lord J]

Mao raps "Hell no! My daughter is a ho. If you want her to go. You will have to meet me in a break dancing contest. Oh yeah you don't know how. Well, then pow! Lets send our afro armies to fight now. No, that would be lame. Lets take this fight up in an Afro game, or contest judging our Afro's contrast. I know mine will win because mine can spin on top of my head and you will dread the day you tried go with the Afro because we are down and you are going down. What do you say to it? By the way you got a zit!"

[Metaliturtle]

Afro Al's response, Ghetto insults!!!

"Mao, talk to the hand cuz you just don' understand"
"Talk to the left cuz you ain't right"
"Talk to the right cuz you are wrong"
"Talk to the Palm cuz I da Bomb"

"Yo mama's so fat her belt size is equator"
"Yo mama's so fat when she sat on a rainbow skittles popped out"
"Yo mama's like a screen door, the harder she's banged, the looser she gets"
"Yo mama's like a vacuum, she sucks, she blows, and then she gets laid in the closet."

((I've got more....LOTS more))

[High Lord J]

Mao raps back

"Yo my mothers dead but that ok, she would have died from seeing your face anyway. I'm lucky I can take a lot of pain because yo face is causing a ton. So just sit down and don't talk son!"

Mao takes a couple of steps back and starts to break dance. As he does his daughter walks in and moves into the break dancing. She eventually does a windmill hitting Mao in his large Chinese balls. Mao passes out and his daughter starts to rap.

Mao's daughter CMZ raps,

"Yo pops I just nailed you in the chops. Hello Afro Al I give you some props. I figured since I kicked my dad in the chops he won't know when I teach you how to go, break dancing. Then you can train a break dance army to invade China. In return I let you check out my vagina. (think DMX) What's my name CMZ? Whatcha you really want? Whatcha really want?"