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  • For Better or Worse...

    Since the most popular vote was for a new story, here's the teaser to a new one! Tell me if you think I should continue it, I don't really know if the concept is good enough to...

    By the way, if anyone's read Bernard Cornwell's Arthur trilogy, read it, it's good, and this story is based in the same era, except Arthur is the King, not the Protector, and I've added in favourites such as Malagant, and of course Camelot.

    *******************************************

    Arthur laid his sword carefully down on the Round Table.

    "I swore I would never fight another battle." he said in a voice thick with exhaustion. "But now it seems I must."

    "The Saxons have renewed their offensive." Lancelot, Arthur's deputy, spoke loudly to the other Knights.

    "Then I think it is time that we kicked them off British shores for good." Gawain shouted, bringing laughter and shouts of encouragement from the other knights.

    Arthur smiled. He wished it was that easy.

    "There is one problem with that plan. Malagant of Powys actually seems to be in league with them, and is tying up our ally, King Lot of Gwent." Arthur nodded in respect for Guinevere's father. "And now Siluria, the troublemakers in South Wales, choose to attack our allies to the west, Kernow. Coincidence? I think not."

    Lancelot and Gawain looked at each other, being two of the few knights that realised the significance of this. That meant true Britains were turning against other Britains and supporting the Saxon invader! Also, tying down Dumnonia's allies with such attacks, forcing Dumnonia to send some troops to both nations to help them survive meant that much of the army wouldn't be there to fight the Saxons.

    It meant that the best must fight the Saxons to ensure their defeat.

    The Knights of the Round table rode out from Camelot with Arthur at their head the next day. Guinevere stayed in Camelot.

    They were leading half the army to do battle with a Saxon army three times their size.

    *******************************************

    "Oh how the mighty have fallen." Malagant laughed as he led the force up the river bank.

    It was the bank of the river Severn, and their destination was Camelot.

    *******************************************

    Thoughts? Comments appreciated! Should I continue this or not?

    Chris AKA Nemesis
    Quote:"He who has not learned to obey cannot be a great leader."

  • #2
    ! What else do I expect from a story of yours ?

    Comment


    • #3
      excellent so far. The only problem is it has Arthur and the knights of the Round Table in it, who are characters who have been in novels, and no offense, but it makes it worse. Argggggggg I thought I was being original when I wrote my newest story taking place in medievel times, but then a bunch of people write ones in the medieveil ages write as or before mine is coming out. Oh well. And, since you're one of the premier writers of this forum, I was wondering if you could critique my newest story at http://apolyton.net/forums/showthrea...threadid=52508 If you think I copied you (my story is a lot like yours) I didn't because I wrote mine before I read yours, honest. And anyway I think I posted mine before yours, so it doesn't really matter.

      "The first man who, having fenced off a plot of land, thought of saying, 'This is mine' and found people simple enough to believe him was the real founder of civil society. How many crimes, wars, murders, how many miseries and horrors might the human race had been spared by the one who, upon pulling up the stakes or filling in the ditch, had shouted to his fellow men: 'Beware of listening to this imposter; you are lost if you forget the fruits of the earth belong to all and that the earth belongs to no one." - Jean-Jacques Rousseau

      Comment


      • #4
        I'll have a look later, not got much time now, but I'll read it tonight.

        Anyway, I've had a quick glance, and it is set in the world stage, whereas this one is set purely in Britain, with the nation divided.

        So I can't see that there will be that many similiarities.

        Chris
        Quote:"He who has not learned to obey cannot be a great leader."

        Comment


        • #5
          ((Metaliturtle suddenly has an angry thought)) WHERE THE F*CK did the sweet move of taking over other civs capitals and creating 2 new nations GO??????!?!?!?!?!?!?! I loved that feature and it really ticked people off in MP when I did it too.
          First Master, Banan-Abbot of the Nana-stary, and Arch-Nan of the Order of the Sacred Banana.
          Marathon, the reason my friends and I have been playing the same hotseat game since 2006...

          Comment


          • #6
            Oh and um, Sweet story CB ((PS does anybody know why I have hit points and experience percentages now?))
            First Master, Banan-Abbot of the Nana-stary, and Arch-Nan of the Order of the Sacred Banana.
            Marathon, the reason my friends and I have been playing the same hotseat game since 2006...

            Comment


            • #7
              EDIT: It was Pellinore of the Silurians, not Malagant of Powys on the river bank! Sorry!

              **************************************************

              Arthur's infantry ran away, leading the Saxons towards the forest where the archers waited.

              As they neared, Arthur's feared longbowmen opened fire. The Saxons began to fall.

              Now Arthur gave the signal. He began to charge down the slope with his Knights of the Round Table, and his other knights. His light cavalry had also ran around the backs of the Saxons, and now charged at their rear.

              The infantry began to attack once more, and the Saxons were being attacked from all sides now, with the remaining side being a steep cliff.

              Some fought like madmen, others ran. Soon those fighting were killed, and the fleeing broke through the cavalry.

              Now the knights charged behind the routed Saxons, and began to cut them down one by one.

              It was yet another glorious victory for Arthur and his knights.

              ************************************************** *

              "Why were so many Saxons in Britain?" Arthur asked the captured King of the Saxons again.

              "We are fleeing the Romans." Arthur's translator told him what Aelle, the Saxon ruler said.

              "The Roman legions are marching once more." Aelle said in broken English.

              "The legions?! But Rome was falling!"

              "Then General Maximus took control, and he leads Rome to great victories." the translation came.

              "So the Saxons fled the mainland for Britain?"

              "Yes. The Roman legions are deadlier than ever before."

              "Are they coming this way?"

              "Probably as we speak."

              Aelle then grabbed a knife from Arthur's belt, and stabbed it into his own heart.

              "Treat my people well." came the translation of his last words.

              Arthur shook his head, mortified by the man's words of Rome.

              Rome had abandoned Britain a hundred years before, and now they were to return.

              Well, at least the Saxons have been finally defeated, Arthur thought.

              *************************************************

              Pellinore led his men towards Camelot. They were dressed as men from Gwent, and called out to Mordred, Arthur's son, to let them in as they had an important message from Gwent.

              Mordred, being young and foolish, ordered the guards to open the gates.

              The Silurians charged in, overwhelming the unprepared and small guard. Camelot was a fortress that could be defended by a few, but only if the enemy wasn't let in.

              Mordred, only just eighteen, realising his mistake, drew his sword and charged at Pellinore.

              Pellinore side stepped, and swung his sword, decapitating Arthur's only heir.

              He was here on a mission, to kill Arthur's heir, and to make his own.

              He rushed up to Guinevere's room, then smashed the door open.

              "What do you want?" she demanded.

              "I want you to bear me an heir, witch! Mordred is dead, and you shall bear me an heir that can rule Siluria and Gwent when Lot dies!" he grabbed her and pushed her back onto her bed.

              She screamed, and realised he was right. Worst of all, she was also now Arthur's only heir, which would immediately pass to any son she bore. If Pellinore made her pregnant, her child could rule Gwent, Siluria and Dumnonia. And if Arthur and Lot died soon, then Pellinore would be ruler as his protector.

              "Never!" she screamed once more.

              "Now bear me an heir, b*tch!" Pellinore jumped on her. He knew that she would kill any son of his, so he vowed to himself to return to Camelot when she was due, and take his son home to safety.

              **************************************************

              Arthur heard the news on his way home. Camelot had been raided by Pellinore!

              He spurred his horse onwards, leaving his army behind. The Knights of the Round Table followed him.

              When he returned to Camelot, he found Guinevere a broken woman.

              "He raped me." she cried into Arthur's shoulder.

              When he had heard the full story, Arthur stood up with a look of determination on his face.

              Lancelot knew that look. It was one which meant Arthur was incredibly angry, and about to do something about it.

              "Siluria just became our first target in the war to re-unite Britain to fight the Romans." Arthur growled.

              "But highness, Pellinore will have returned to his castle by now. We don't have the time to take it, Britain must be re-united before the Romans come!"

              "Then we force the rat out of his hole. We will burn every Silurian village and harvest that we come to and force Pellinore to fight us or rule a land of no value."

              Lancelot knew it was cruel, but Arthur wasn't in a kind mood.

              Siluria must die to save Britain.

              ********************************************

              I know it's a bit boring now, but I promise you it will get better.

              Comments appreciated!

              Chris AKA Nemesis
              Quote:"He who has not learned to obey cannot be a great leader."

              Comment


              • #8
                Great story, and great story writing! We need more like you!
                What?

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                • #9
                  I actually like it

                  Part II is better than Part I

                  and the Saxons fleeing the Romans is a masterful stroke of genius.

                  The 'battle' was a bit brief however

                  But overall it was very good.
                  -->Visit CGN!
                  -->"Production! More Production! Production creates Wealth! Production creates more Jobs!"-Wendell Willkie -1944

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                  • #10
                    "Why haven't they come down from those damned mountains yet?" Arthur murmured thoughtfully to himself.

                    "Sir, a slave escaped from a farm in the mountains is here. I suggest we talk to him." Lancelot had noted the arrival of the fair-haired girl ten minutes before.

                    "Bring her to me." Arthur instructed.

                    The girl was brought before him.

                    "Why does Pelliore remain in the hills?" he asked her.

                    "We have cattle that we are eating your Highness. There are even a few storage sites up there where harvests have been stored."

                    "Damn." Arthur muttered. "Okay, you may go, you are free."

                    "Thank you Lord." she smiled with joy at the news that she was no longer a slave.

                    Lancelot's face lit up too. She was only two years younger than he, and would make a fine bride, he was sure.

                    *****************************************

                    King Pellinore loathed fighting Arthur.

                    His longbows, a new weapon known only to Dumnonia's weaponsmiths, were the only archery weapon capable of piercing the leather shields and armour that everyone wore.

                    His knights were the only ones in Britain to wear armour, chainmail he had brought from his time in Brittany. Also Pellinore had hardly any mounted men, as Siluria was a hilly country with little use for powerful warhorses.

                    And Arthur's shieldwalls were the best trained in Britain, trained to perfection by the man himself.

                    But now Pellinore had an advantage. He had to kill Arthur so his son would rule southern Britain. And he had a way to do it.

                    Elaine, that peasant girl had given Arthur the information he had told her to. Siluria was not yet eating its cattle, and was in actual fact still eating from the granary of Pellinore's castle, but Arthur wasn't to know that.

                    So he would ride up the hills that surrounded the mountains, and straight into Pellinore's trap.

                    *******************************************

                    Arthur led the knights into the old Roman fort, closely followed by his spearmen. The slave girl had told them that there was a grain store in the middle of the compound.

                    There was the building, he saw. He galloped over to it, and peeked in one of its windows.

                    Hay?!

                    He glanced down, and realised the floor was carpeted with the stuff. These are stables, he laughed to himself.

                    But where were the horses?

                    Then the great gates, the only entrance to the fort, began to close.

                    The few pickets Arthur had left outside must have been taken out without giving a warning, Arthur thought wearily.

                    That would mean he would have to fight his way out.

                    Then he realised. Why would Pellinore lock them in here, knowing he couldn't hold them forever, and it would be impossible to assault the fort with Arthur's men inside it.

                    Lancelot called from the ramparts he had just inspected.

                    "Arthur, there are spikes on the walls! There's no way out, and Silurians are at the base of the walls to kill any man who does get past the damned spikes!"

                    Arthur began to think hard about how he could break down the gate, knowing it was possible somehow.

                    Then the flaming arrows began to pour into the compound, many landing on the thatched roof of the main building.

                    Arthur gasped in horror as he realised what was happening. The fort was being turned into an inferno!

                    He spurred his horse towards the gate, with Lancelot next to him.

                    Arthur stared helplessly at the smooth oak gate. There was no way to scale it, and nowhere to attach a rope to pull it open.

                    They were trapped, he realised. And they were going to roast before they died in agony.

                    *****************************************

                    More will be posted later! Comments appreciated.

                    Chris AKA Nemesis
                    Quote:"He who has not learned to obey cannot be a great leader."

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Nice twist! It would be nice to have them die in the fires and then write the rest from the other people's point of view, but I know that's just not you're style

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        The muttering old man stalked the battlefield without any thought for the battle that raged around him.

                        He was a Druid, the feared priests of ancient Britain. Druids could walk even in the middle of a battlefield and not be injured, for the soldiers were terrified of a Druid's curse.

                        An arrow came to close, and the old man betrayed the feeble image by catching the arrow and snapping it.

                        He looked weak, a deception that had been deadly for many men.

                        Now he walked without a care in the world towards the gate of the fort.

                        The soldiers, scared of a Druid, let him past. Many murmured that he wasn't a Silurian Druid, but many more thought he was, and was going to cast an invisible wall charm to keep Arthur's men inside forever.

                        Instead he reached for the bar which kept the door locked, and began to lift it.

                        "How dare you, Druid!" Pellinore grabbed him and threw him away from the gate. He feared Druids too, but not enough that he would let one interfere with his killing of Arthur.

                        The old man's hood fell back, revealing his face, and the word rushed around the crowd about who it was.

                        Now the Druid got to his feet, and pulled a small globe from his pocket.

                        He lit the string protruding from it on the fire that was there to light the arrows on, then threw it at Pellinore's feet.

                        Pellinore looked at it in alarm, fearing that it may be a Druid curse stone.

                        He looked closer, as it exploded with a huge bang and tore his body into scraps.

                        The men closest were burned, and those for many yards around were covered with his blood and flesh.

                        The Silurian soldiers, shocked at such a spell, backed away from the Druid and let him pass towards the gate.

                        He lifted the bar, and opened it.

                        *******************************************

                        King Arthur led his men out, hearing the bang outside and seeing the gate open.

                        There he saw a feeble old man, who he recognised immediately.

                        "Merlin!" he cried, shaking the Druid's hand.

                        "I see you got yourself into another fine mess." Merlin reprimanded him.

                        Arthur smiled as his men began to slaughter the Silurians, only accepting the surrender of those who laid down their arms.

                        *******************************************

                        Siluria was defeated, and Arthur's soldiers went now to Gwent to help King Lot, leaving a small garrison in the Silurian capital.

                        Some men on the walls of the castle had seen Merlin's magic, and it spread like wildfire through the Dumnonian men.

                        "What was it?" asked Lancelot.

                        "It was a ball containing gunpowder, an explosive substance the Chinese made. Very expensive, and very hard to get hold of, but very effective."

                        "The Chinese? Who are they?" Galahad asked.

                        "A creation of Merlin's mind, like those camels and elephants he tells us all of." Arthur laughed.

                        *******************************************

                        More to come tonight! Comments appreciated!

                        Chris AKA Nemesis
                        Quote:"He who has not learned to obey cannot be a great leader."

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Merlin left us that night.

                          Arthur was livid. We were going to Gwent to save Lot and his kingdom from Powys, and Merlin was leaving!

                          "I have more important things to be doing." Merlin said with contempt, as if he was unable to believe that Arthur thought it was a big deal.

                          "What's more important than saving Britain?!" Arthur shouted.

                          "Saving the world!" Merlin yelled, laughing, then stalked off into the night as silently as he had come.

                          "He always exaggerates." Arthur shook his head in mock despair. Merlin had always been like a father to him, and so he found it impossible to get angry with him.

                          Then, Arthur found it hard to get angry with anyone.

                          ************************************************

                          Arthur returned from his meeting with King Lot optimistic.

                          "I have told him what Merlin told me, and he is as confident as I that the Powysians will be destroyed on our shields!" Arthur yelled to his troops.

                          They cheered, and turned back for more mead to drink.

                          ************************************************

                          That the Powysians would come today had been the only useful information Merlin had given Arthur, which allowed the allied armies to be ready. Merlin was a master of disguises, and had managed to slip into the enemy's camp to see them preparing for battle.

                          King Lot was left to command the huge shieldwall that was the allied army, while Arthur and his knights went to try and outflank the enemy.

                          It was in a gorge that the battle would happen, with cliffs either side. Along it led the only Roman road into Gwent, and therefore the only possible way of leading an army through into it. Malagant knew it, and so did Arthur. Both were happy with where the battle was to be fought, Malagant because he needed to destroy the allied army to ever invade Gwent, and Arthur because the gorge meant that the shield wall couldn't be outflanked.

                          But the allied army was only two thirds as strong as the Powysians, who had allied the nations to the north behind them.

                          But the Dumnonian troops were confident. Arthur had never lost a battle, and he wasn't about to start now.

                          **************************************************

                          The knights, led by Arthur, charged along the top of the cliff on the right hand side of the gorge.

                          They were to enter the valley from the other end, and attack the enemy from behind, driving him onto the allied spears.

                          Arthur led them into the gorge, and spotted Malagant's army ahead.

                          "Charge!" came the order, and led by the Knights of the Round Table, Arthur's knights charged.

                          Until they saw the shield wall. Malagant had a shield wall at his rear!

                          The horses wouldn't charge a shield wall, and Arthur couldn't blame them. It was a deadly array of spears and shields which could easily spear a horse.

                          "Malagant must have been expecting us!" Lancelot shouted.

                          "Maybe he just guessed my tactics." Arthur cursed himself for underestimating his enemy.

                          Gawain rushed over to Arthur, and whispered a possibility in his ear.

                          Arthur turned pale. Of course! If Malagant knew that they might try this, he might try another shield wall to box Arthur's knights in this gorge!

                          Arthur looked back towards the entrance of the gorge, and sure enough, another shield wall was forming.

                          "Both walls are Malagant's personal guard." Lancelot warned. That meant they were the best spearmen in Powys.

                          Arthur tried valiantly to get his horses to charge the enemy line, but they steadfastly refused.

                          The shield walls closed in, and Arthur realised he was trapped.

                          **************************************************

                          Arthur's knights marched towards the shieldwall blocking the way out, and they were confused at what he was doing, but continued to advance.

                          Then all the knights dismounted, and formed their own line.

                          They charged at the shield wall, but it held firm.

                          The Powysian spears broke on the heavy mail armour of the knights. The only disadvantage of the armour was it was slow, but the knights being in a line stopped them being mobbed and their helmets taken off and then being decapitated, as was the practice.

                          The heavy cavalry swords the knights carried tore through the leather shields, that were only supposed to hold against spears and arrows. The spears, too, were broken by the huge swords. Some of the Powysian men drew swords, and a few knights were killed by well aimed stabs, but in doing so the men left the safety of the wall, and opened their backs to a stab from another knight.

                          The shieldwall collapsed as more men began to die, and the others realised the fight was futile against so many knights.

                          They fled, and the Dumnonians quickly mounted their horses once more, just ahead of the other shield wall which was now charging.

                          Arthur led the slaughter of the running men, decapitating himself their leader.

                          Then the knights rushed back along the cliff to their own lines to find out what had happened in the battle.

                          **************************************************

                          They arrived in time to see Lot in the middle of his shield wall being beheaded by Malagant, who was in the middle of his own.

                          The Gwent men began to falter, then run. This left gaps in the lines that Malagant's men charged into, and the Dumnonians realised the fight was futile now they were outflanked.

                          They began to run also, and now Malagant's line broke as his men began to charge after the enemy.

                          Arthur and his knights put themselves between the fleeing soldiers and Malagant's men, and slaughtered the few who came near.

                          Malagant wasn't a fool, and ordered him men to get the hell back into their shield wall.

                          Faced with that obstacle, Arthur was forced to retreat also. But he had saved the battle from becoming a rout.

                          But it was still a loss, the first defeat he had ever known.

                          **************************************************

                          King Tewdric of Gwent was proclaimed the same day so he could lead Gwent's army alongside Arthur's, but that wasn't what he decided to do.

                          He told Arthur he regretted it, but he had to make peace with Powys.

                          Arthur, ever calm, tried to talk him out of it, but just nodded and walked away once he realised Tewdric's mind was made up.

                          "You can't win them all." Lancelot said, sensing Arthur's disappointment.

                          Tewdric's peace would allow Powysian troops free passage through Gwent, which meant that they would be free to invade Dumnonia with their two to one odds against Arthur's army.

                          But one obstacle stood in their way, a strong fortress which commanded Dumnonia's northern border.

                          Camelot.

                          *************************************************

                          Yet more to come later! Comments appreciated!

                          Chris AKA Nemesis
                          Quote:"He who has not learned to obey cannot be a great leader."

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            great battle! I love merlin, even with the little he has done!

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Merlin appeared in Camelot that night. He had apparently been in fishing villages, listening to the gossip of fishermen who had seen strange boats in the Channel.

                              "The Romans." Arthur groaned.

                              Merlin nodded.

                              "You must fight them with everything you have Arthur, for their legions are more deadly than ever before. The Romans have learnt the ways of the barbarians that hurt Rome, and now use their own methods and their enemy's methods to beat an opponent."

                              "They have cavalry?" Lancelot asked.

                              "A bit, but mostly they rely on their powerful shield walls to defeat a cavalry charge. As I hear Arthur himself found out, no horses will charge a disciplined shield wall."

                              Arthur muttered a curse about Merlin under his breath, and the Druid spat on the floor to avert the curse's evil, a traditional Druid thing.

                              One of the few Christians in the room, an arrogant priest known as Bishop Sansum snorted in disgust.

                              "You vile toad! When the Lord comes to earth he will punish you for your pagan ways!" Sansum roared. Even Arthur was sick to death of the man, but he had been appointed by the Christians of Dumnonia to be the head of the Christian church, and Arthur couldn't remove him without causing rebellion.

                              "Well you'd better hope he punishes me for this." Merlin smiled coldly as he smacked Sansum's cheek with his staff.

                              "Oh Lord, I am coming to be blessed! The vile pagans strike me, and will kill me for doing your work!" Sansum cried in yet another of his martyr speeches. The first and best had been the time that Arthur had held Excalibur to his throat and threatened to cut it if Sansum didn't give Arthur a loan from the Christian church for a war against Siluria years ago.

                              "I will not kill you, Christian dog, for it would be cruel to your God, forcing him to meet you!" Merlin laughed at the pathetic display.

                              "Stop toying with him Merlin, and tell me, are you coming to help us against the Romans?" Arthur demanded, knowing that his army would be more confident with Merlin at his side.

                              "How will you stop the Powysians, Lord?" Gawain asked.

                              "I shall leave Galahad here with 50 men to defend Camelot. That should be easily enough to hold the enemy until we return." Arthur spoke of the youngest and least experienced Knight of the Round Table, Galahad.

                              "We must march tonight." Merlin nodded, then kicked Sansum in the crotch after the man insulted him again.

                              *****************************************

                              Arthur led the men to Durnovaria[MODERN DAY DORCHESTER], a southern Dumnonian town, where the Romans were said to be landing.

                              Sure enough, the fishermen reported that the galleys of Rome were sailing right towards that town, and now Arthur prepared for battle.

                              It was going to be a vicious one, and even if he won against all the odds, he still didn't know if he would have a kingdom to go back to with the Powysians attacking to the north.

                              But he put on his best scale armour, mounted his horse and put Excalibur in its scabbard, and then held his spear and shield.

                              He was going to war.

                              *******************************************

                              Sansum groaned as he felt the bruise on his cheek.

                              "That is yet another reason we must cleanse Dumnonia of pagans," Sansum said to the impressionable young Galahad.

                              "What is the main one?" asked the Christian knight.

                              "To prepare for the return of our Lord Jesus Christ in four years time! He is coming in the year of our Lord 500! He will not come if there are still pagans in Dumnonia!"

                              "What about the rest of Britain? The north is all pagan." Galahad pointed out.

                              "Our Lord will lead us into battle to destroy the non-believers, but first we must secure the kingdom for his return!" Sansom repeated the sermon he gave so often.

                              Galahad looked confused, and turned back to his meal.

                              ******************************************

                              More to come later on! Comments appreciated!

                              Chris AKA Nemesis
                              Last edited by cbraund; June 20, 2002, 09:06.
                              Quote:"He who has not learned to obey cannot be a great leader."

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