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**Metaliturtle** · June 10, 2002, 12:24

Personal preference forces me to say, "Please separate dialogue!!"

**johncmcleod** · June 10, 2002, 15:47

Separate dialogue? What do you mean? I started a new paragraph after something was said by a different person.

**The Bloody Baro** · June 10, 2002, 20:11

Keep it up!!!!!!!!!

**Jaguar** · June 11, 2002, 01:38

ok, while you read my story I'll read yours.

**Jaguar** · June 11, 2002, 01:42

*goes off to nominate it*

**johncmcleod** · June 11, 2002, 22:37

Chapter 2
The Beginning of Vengeance

3.441 months later

“Stewart, read me your reports of our troops again, will you? I’m sorry, I wasn’t paying attention,” Prime Minister MacLeod said to his Military Advisor.

“We have one pikeman division based in London, the London Guard. We have another pikeman division in Liverpool, one in Coventry, and one in Newport. We have four pikeman divisions, 19 knight divisions, and 10 swordsmen divisions are all based at Nuremberg. Sir, are you still sure you want everything based there?”

“Yes, I am. Instinct tells me not to, but then again, it is impossible for the Russians to send an army over the Trummerberg, Regenmantel, and Schach mountain ranges. Four peaks of them haven’t been scaled yet. How are they supposed to send an army over those mountains? And what about the catapults? Catherine has yet to mount an invasion without catapults. She’s obsessed with them. And an attack by sea is impossible. The Germans have almost destroyed the entire Russian navy. They can’t send more than Catherine’s body guard. The Russians have no choice but to travel through Nuremberg.”

“You’re right, I guess.” The Military Advisor sighed.

“Just to think. Remember it was only three and a half months ago when we overthrew the government? With the soldiers of the former queen’s army that were loyal to us, we had 4 divisions. Now after the mobilizing we have 36.”

At that moment a servant of John MacLeod came into the room, out of breath.

“Sir! Remember the squadron of galleys with explorers on them you sent away 1 year ago? The ships you loaded with explorers and sent for the far southwestern seas?

“Yes. Why?”

“Well, um, they found a continent down there inhabited by a people called ‘Greeks’. The first thing our sailors did was what you told them to do, trade world maps. Well, here’s their world map.” The advisor gave John a map of Greece. “The second thing they did was also what you ordered them to do. We traded some of our silks for one of their luxuries, spices. Those are at the port right now. But the third thing they did, was not one of your orders.

Apparently the captain of one of the ships figured out a way to smoke the spices, and he got high and ordered the ships to attack [that was the work of a ‘friend’, he attacked them and then saved over my previous game]. One of the ships was destroyed and then other one was badly damaged but managed to get away with the maps and spices. Well, they’re back and they have bad news. The Greeks are rather angry with us and our ships saw them send a large invasion force against us. Luckily they don’t know about Desertania (a continent found by British explorers that had no resources and was nothing but desert and uninhabitable), and they’re going to sail right into it. That’ll slow them down, but nonetheless, they’ll be here in a week!”

“What!” John screamed at the top of his lungs. “SO WE’RE ABOUT TO HAVE ENEMIES WITH (PUT TOGHETHER) A FOURFOLD ADVANTAGE OF MEN OVER US BECAUSE OF SOME DRUGGIE @^*&#? THAT’S OUTRAGEOUS!” He slammed his fist on the table, almost knocking it over.

“Yep. That pretty much sums it all up.”

At that moment John exhaled the contents of his stomach all over the servant.

“You may leave now,” John ordered in an embarrassed voice.

General Edward Gallagher looked at a piece of parchment that one of his servants had given to him. He barked orders to his aides.

“Get the men lined up immediately. We’re moving out. You there! Yes, you in the gay looking purple tights! Gather the workers and tell them to pack up. C’mon! Let’s move!” The large camp was crawling with thousands of soldiers trying to get in order for marching and hundreds of servants and workers packing up tents and other things. The whole process lasted about 20 minutes. At the end it was a beautiful sight. Thousands of troops were all in perfect rows, and they were followed by workers carrying packs and lead by Gallagher’s officers. They began to march briskly through the day and into a good part of the night, taking little breaks. Though the walk through the hills, plains, and deserts was not very strenuous, the soldiers didn’t get a chance to look at the beautiful Regenmantel Mountains, for they were using up all of their energy going as fast as they could towards the coast. The same thing happened for the next few days, and everyone was always too tired to even remember it. The whole march seemed like a dreamland.

When it was all over, the men loaded up onto the thousands ships [one galley unit obviously isn’t one ship] waiting for them. Almost the whole entire navy was there. When the last of the ships loaded up, they left for Britain. The Greeks would be there in only days. The British would just be in the nick of time.

Admiral Edmund Cunningham went to bed with an unusually uneasy feeling. The last time he had a feeling like this, it was the night before the Richardson Crisis. He just couldn’t figure out what could go wrong…

“LARGE FLEET AHEAD!!!! LARGE FLEET AHEAD!!!!” The watchman screamed. Bells on all the ships began to ring and the soldiers got up, not knowing what was happening. Edmund woke up from his sleep immediately. He looked out the window of his quarters. The stars had moved. And sure enough, the moon and the stars illuminated a massive fleet, bigger than the British one, coming out of the mist, right towards the galleys. He ran outside and yelled to the other ships the orders. The would all turn around and go the opposite way, towards the German fleet. The combined fleets would be enough to destroy the Greeks.

Edmund watched as the ships carried out their orders. The were heading towards Germany full sails. He didn’t think the Greeks could stand a chance against the speed of the galleys. That changed as he looked on in horror at the opposing fleet.

“Yancey!” He called to one of his officers. Yancey quickly came to him. “Are those ships getting closer or am I crazy?”

“Well, I think…oh Lord. You’re right. They’re much fast than we are!” Yancey got down on his knees and started praying. Edmund was about to say something to him when an arrow went right through Yancey’s skill, in one ear and out the other. Edmund heard the screams of several other sailors. He summoned the courage to turn around. Another large Greek fleet was heading right for them, and was within range.

“ATACK!!!” Edmund screamed. The ships exchanged volleys of arrows. Several arrows landed right by Edmund, though none hit him. At the same time, the fleet behind him was closing in and within firing range. The British fleet was being crushed by the largest naval fleet in history. The life was literally being squeezed out of the British military in one night.

Edmund stood there right on the deck, giving out orders despite being in the open. “Fire at that ship!” He ordered to the marine archers. They complied and shot hail after hails of arrows at it. He stopped what he was doing as he saw the other ships. The Greek ships behind him were firing arrows tipped with fire at the Brits. The ship right behind Edmund was almost immediately incinerated. The fires spread faster than the fastest British messengers up onto the sails and mast. The bottom of the mast collapsed and fell through the deck, setting everything on fire. He watched in horror as sailors covered with fire were running around crazily, jumping off the ship.

Edmund turned around to see the ship that had just been closing in on his ship still there, and only feet away from Edmund. Below its waterline there was a bronze ram in the shape of a serpent. He didn’t have time to look at it much longer. It bashed the ships hull, smashing a large whole below the waterline. The ship shuddered, then began to tip over from the awesome force of the blow.

“TO THE DEATH!!!!!!” Those were the last orders the admiral would give.

The London Palace
That morning, several hours later

“Sir, I regret to inform that the whole British fleet has disappeared.” It was one of John’s cabinet members.

John dropped his tea, breaking the mug. He still kept eye contact with the servant.

“Could you please repeat that?” John was trying to keep calm, but he was shaking and sweating.

“You heard me. We’re doomed!” The cabinet member ran out of the room, afraid of John’s reaction. Though John was a kind person, anyone who had something this terrible happen to them would lose their temper.

“Sir, Alexander is here to see you.” It was a servant of John. Alexander strutted into the room with a smirk on his face.

“I really like your @^$# hat and that gay makeup you’re wearing,” John spat.

“I don’t think you are in the position to say things like that. After all, you started this war.” Alexander grinned.

“Let’s get this over with. What do you want for peace?!”

“Well, first I’d like a small tax of, hmm, 19 gold per year and an amount of incense, ivory, and silks per year. All of this for 20 years. And, I just signed a mutual protection pact with Russia, which is at peace with you don’t worry. Don’t ask how, it’s a long story but it was my work. I will always renew that pact with Russia when it ends, so don’t get any ideas about going to help your friend, Germany. They’re doomed. So how about it?”

“Deal!” John grimaced, but he knew it was the only way for peace.

One week later

General Dylan Howell got a message telling him to report to London. He was still shook up about what had happened. He and the other generals were on the only boat that survived. It made him feel guilty. He wondered what the message was for, though.

General Edward Gallagher got the same message, along with all of the former Lords of Wales and Scotland.

A servant showed the generals into John’s room and then locked the doors. John was first to speak.

“No, this isn’t a reunion of the Lords of Scotland and Wales. It’s because of what Alexander has done to us. Because of this treaty, you will be going behind enemy lines. You will completely lose identity of who you are and where you are from. If they capture one of you and they see you’re from here, we’ll be destroyed. I am about to send letters to your next of kin saying you’re dead. They can’t know you exist. If anyone doesn’t want to be part of this, please leave the room.” No one did. “Good then. You will be landing off the coast of Texacoco. That’s a strange name for a Greek city, don’t you think? Anyway, Dylan Howell will be your commander. You will be doing hit and run attacks behind enemy lines, and you’ll do whatever you can to disrupt the enemy, such as tearing up roads or killing messengers. I give you the name ‘The Knights of Vengeance’. Right that down, will you? I like it.” A servant feverishly scribbled the name on a piece of parchment. “Well, you’ll be leaving now. I can’t tell you where yet, but Dylan will lead you there. Godspeed!”

With that the Knights of Vengeance headed away from the palace. None of them had any idea that one of the guards in that room was a spy.

So now whadya think?

**johncmcleod** · June 12, 2002, 01:37

Chapter 3
The Knights of Vengeance

2.19 months later

Edward Gallagher looked through his spy glass at the enemy camp below them. He had been behind enemy lines now for the last two months. It had been very stressful. He never new if he would live to see the next day- and even worse, his loved ones thought he was dead and they could never be told the truth. The last two months for him had been hellish. His best friend, Lamar Wellington, had been captured by Greeks. Lamar had no choice but to use his suicide kit, so he wouldn’t be interrogated. Edward watched him die. His thoughts were interrupted as the order to move out came.

The knights road across the dry plains, lighted by a waning moon. The stars shown brilliantly-not a cloud was on the flat horizon. Green nebulae was pasted across the sky, with a foreground of thousands of blue and reddish stars. The knights galloped right into the camp.

Edward galloped right on top of the first tent he saw, knocking over the lantern in it and trampling the unaware Greek soldiers. The knocked over lamp ignited a fire that was well fueled by the dry grasses. It spread through the camp and managed to drive away some Greek horses. Edward then picked up and wrapped the top of it with cloth that he found on the ground. He light it on fire and used it as a torch. He thrusted the torch into the next tent he came to, lighting it and those who were in it on fire. He did the same to the next tent and the next.

Edwards success with the torch came to an abrupt end. A swordsman came from his right side and slashed the torch from his hands. The Grecian slashed Edward across his side, but to no luck. The sword couldn’t penetrate the mail, it hit it at a bad angle. Edward angrily sliced off the Grecian’s arm and rode away from the crumpled figure.

Edward came to the next soldier-he was much easier. He slashed his sword with all of his might at Edward. Edward easily deflected the attempt with his shield, then sliced the soldier’s scull vertically in half with a single blow. Edward came to another soldier. All he had to do was run him over. The next soldier Edward came to was almost as bad as the last. He swung at Edward with his sword and missed. Edward proceded in slicing off the man’s head.

“Too easy,” He laughed to himself. He soon stopped laughing.

A wooden flagpole was thrusted out in front of Edward’s horse right as it passed by an officer’s tent. The horse did a face plant into the hard ground. Edward was flung from the horse and landed back first in front of the horse. An officer stooped over Edward with a dagger.

“You are looking at the last person you’ll ever see,” the officer spoke menacingly. The officer raised the dagger in the air, about to stab Edward. Edward watched as the dagger plummeted towards his chest at an amazing speed. But it wasn’t good enough for Edward. He punched the man’s wrist, knocking the dagger out of his hands. He pushed himself off the ground and faced the officer. He looked at his sword, which was directly behind the officer. The officer unsheathed a sword from his belt. The officer swung at Edmund’s head. He ducked leaving the officer in an awkward position from the back swing. Edward faked for the man’s stomach. He dropped the sword and moved to block it, finding the fist didn’t come for the stomach. He looked up as the brass knuckles slammed into his face, breaking his nose and teeth.

The rest of the bewildered Grecians dropped their weapons and ran, as they saw so many of their comrades get killed with ease. They didn’t see the knights crouched down behind some tall grasses. The knights charged and eliminated every last Greek soul.

Three days later
MacLeod’s palace in London

Alexander stormed into MacLeod’s room, trying to control his anger.

“Oh yes. The fellow with the makeup.” MacLeod sneered at Alexander.

“That makeup cost me 14 gold, bi*ch!”

“Let’s get to business,” MacLeod replied sternly. “Why are you here?”

“You! I’m having reports of large groups of my soldiers ’disappearing! I know you have something to do with it! Once I find the evidence of it, I will release it to the public and then I will declare war on you!” Alexander stormed out of the room, not knowing he would have that information very soon.

Eight days later
On a far off British held tiny island near Greece

The guards on watch at fort MacDougal began to ring the alarm bell. A huge invasion fleet was headed right for Britain. The catapults at the fort fired volleys of stones at the ships. It didn’t do very much. The watched on as the ships went by the fortress. Right at that moment the Greek men who had been tunneling for days finally made it to under the fortress. The loaded up its foundation with a curious substance called ‘saltpeter’ and then lit a fuse. They all made it out in time and boarded a ship hidden in the trees of the island and left. Several minutes later a huge explosion shook the island and destroyed every human being there.

I beg, please post stuff about this story!!!! I am dying for suggestions. I don't care if you think the story is bad, average, or great, please post something.

**civman2000** · June 12, 2002, 07:17

hey, you wrote 2 sections in half an hour! Give us time!

It's great! About the knightsw, were playing in a mod with hidden nationality knights

**johncmcleod** · June 12, 2002, 13:19

Well, actually, my friend made this mod. He made these knights that had better stats (attack 6, defense 3) and they had a hidden nationality but he made them extremely expensive.

**johncmcleod** · June 17, 2002, 00:04

bump because hardly any people wwill tell me what they think about the story and they won't give me suggestions. And the next installment will come when I return from Seattle (I haven't had time to write a story).

**Kramerman** · June 30, 2002, 19:29

This is Great! And to think you were able to wind this story together out of an inspirational civ game is phenomenal. I think it is I who should be asking you for pointers. It took me years of thought to develope my story from the original idea I had.

As for the next installment, I don't know how much advice I can give you without knowing the outcome that the events will culminate to. And your writting style is definately professional as far as syntax and description. Unfortunately I haven't been writing long enough to have developed any tricks or anything, so I don'y have any writing secrets to let you in on. The story is worthy and I would gladly nominate it in the contest.
I will avidly await your next installment, I wish I could of been of more help. Off to write my own next installment. I fortunately have my story pretty much laid out, so no writer's block for me!

Kman

**Verto** · June 30, 2002, 20:14

Good story. My one complaint would be, decide whether you want to write a comedy or a more historical story. For example:

“Oh yes. The fellow with the makeup.” MacLeod sneered at Alexander.

“That makeup cost me 14 gold, bi*ch!”

“Let’s get to business,” MacLeod replied sternly. “Why are you here?”

This doesn't fit with the majority of the story, which has a more serious tone. Overall, very good. Detailed, but not too extensively, with a good plot.

Oh, and friends don't let friends screw up Civ games.

**johncmcleod** · June 30, 2002, 22:07

Thanks for the input! Yeah, that part was out of tone. I just wanted to lighten the story up at a couple of parts. The next installment is coming up soon, I think. The thing is, my family might take me camping tomorrow. If they do I won't be able to write for a couple of days. Just to warn you though, it probably will be short and not that great. It's kind of a 'transition' chapter, like a leading tone in music, if you will. It's the end of one part that is leading to the next part, and I'll try my best to make it good. And about that 'friend'. He thought the whole thing was hilarious, but he shut up after I gave him a couple whacks. It was kind of good for me though. It laid a great task before me.

**Kramerman** · July 1, 2002, 02:16

If you are interested in a nomination in the contest, It would be a pleasure to give you one, but if you would prefer to finish your story first, let me know.

Kman

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