The Rotting Monkey of Guilt.

[civman2000]

lol:

maybe you could make the next part be 20% about civ3 , but this is great!

[Glytch]

Hmm, you may be right mr. Zero. However, you have committed purgery several times in this particular series alone. It would be more humerous if you had material of your own to flaunt. However, this works well enough; I was left in stitches several times by your insane works of "art".

[Absolut_Zero]

Perhaps, Mr. Glytch, if you wish to get 19th century formal on me, you should do it with the proper finesse of a gentleman, and leave your own purgerous handibugging to yourself. Good day sir!

[Glytch]

Well, Mr. Zero, perhaps I am more tuned into 19th century formal than you, and what you percieve to be 19th century formal is merely saying "good sir" and being polite and such. And possibly, Mr. Zero, I would desist with my purjerous handibugging of your wife, which wasn't handibugging, i was merely manipulating her womb you see, if you would desist with your gross acts of adultery committed with your llama and the microscopic lifeforms in your small intestinal tract. And with this thought, I bid you good day, sir.

[Absolut_Zero]

Why not.

I haven't posted in a while, but in light of Mr. Glytch's sudden interest, I feel the need for a... duel of fates, (cue dramatic chord).
(And Glytch, I feel purgery is such a nasty word, I like to think of it as plagerism, just kidding, my ideas are my own, and as such, a charlatin like Mr. Glytch, who, by the way, I have never seen post anything on any board, (I frequently check them all, civ related that is) wish to compromise my, "artistic integrity", which I never really believed existed anyway, and another thing... well, perhaps another time, now onto the story.(One more thing, I have decided to take Civman's idea literally, you'll figure it out.)


0%-(for an arbitrary reason, I shall, for the first twenty percent, for get the story line (as if it exsisted), the narrator situation (sure), and the plot (did you ever remember the plot, to begin with)

5%-Bismark, almost obliterrated by Egyptian forces in previous wars, realized that by simply staying peaceful, he had no chance of possibly even catching up to the other tribes by the end of the game. And so, he did what any logical, third-world leader would do, played on the sympathy of some democratic leader. He did not try this at first, though.

11%- First, he attempted to conquer the Greeks, the nation with
only twice his power rating on the histograph, which was a mistake. At the beggining, the first outliers of Greecian cities had little defense against his cossack, (I don't care if the German's can't have them, cause it's my story.) But, Ultimately, as he got closer, building more units along the way, the Egyptians, Americans and Romans, all laid the proverbial smack-down, the holiest of smitation, upon his ass.

19%-Upon giving up on the war, left with only one warrior, and one city, he then recorded a video and sent it to Ol' Abe Lincoln:

21%-First of all, Let's assume that the previous three parts were completely nullified for the rest of this post. Or not. doesn't really matter. The video went as follows (Cue Incredible Hulk walking out music.)

25%-"Sir, I know you must be very busy, but our people need your help, look at this sick boy, he might die an..."

"Really, Mr. Bismark, I'll be just fine. Really."

"No (in hushed tone), you're deathly ill, if you wish to see you goat again. (focusing again on the camera)See how brave this boy is, he will refute his illness to the last momen..."

"But Mr. Bismark, I'm fine, and I don't even have a goat."

32%-"You see, this boy is so delerious with illness, (hushed), guards, hang the boy. (back at camera), the guards will escort the poor little soldier back to his post, I mean, his hospital bed. And that soldier remark, I was of course being metaphorical."

36%-In what is apparently an old, rundown, long-abandoned, flat, that has once served as a whore-house. "Welcome to my throne-room, gentleman. As you may notice, this single room is the pride of my creation, the culmination of thousands of years of what we like to call hearty workmanship, camps for the homeless, and mass grave..yards."

42%-"Salvelabor, death camps of those whose homes you've taken and, well, the grave part really isn't that bad, compared to the rest."

Well that was the half for today, and tommorow, I shall finish the entire thing, damn, it will be short, will it not

[Absolut_Zero]

and with it, my last post to these blasted message boards, which have drained away many of my saturday nights, reading the ineffeble excellence of the prose included, when the time comes, , Well, I'd best not think about it, I shall miss this life, however short mine was.

[Glytch]

May a thousand ants feast upon your left retina, but leave the rest untouched, because you're so damn handsome, Mr. Zero. How dare you leave these people because you think you're better than them. And I bid you good day! Good day forever.

[Absolut_Zero]

I have decided to leave my last post here, my last ever, in order to preserve the story. You see, In future ages, when people look at the hexdecimal and even the binary images and text transposed on our computers, perhaps, in some strange way, my story(ies) will be looked upon and thought of as quasi-worthful piece of work, not finished by some strange twist of fate, or some ghastly illness, but not for the real reason, no, not because I forgot how to be funny, so with this I leave you to my last thoughts:

and Glytch just how handsome could I be with a feasted-upon eye

"Glytch says:
well youd need an eye patch
Glytch says:
but then you'd look like a pirate! just think of it: the rugged adventurer pirate Zero.
Glytch says:
whipping off to plunder another small vessel with royalty on it and making the princess yet again fall in love with him.
Glytch says:
you'd need to stop shaving so you'd have stubble, but keep it trimmed, because long stubble is just wrong."

His feeble attempt to cheer me up.

Thank you all for your kindness and support (except Glytch, the bastard), and I shall truely miss you all (except Glytch). Goodbye (badbye to Glytch

[History Guy]

I wonder what the heck that was all about.

Now, let me go contemplate the meaning of life.

[Metaliturtle]

I too enjoy pie