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++ Another Day ++
November 1st.
It had finally come.
It seemed like Christmas to Joe. He marked this day on his calendar the day he found that Firaxis was making Civilization III. And now, as he wiped the sleep from his eyes, the day had finally arrived.
He glanced at his computer sitting in the corner. “Oh what fun we will have, my friend” he thought, and a wry smile crossed his face. He got up out of bed, and proceeded to attend to his basic hygenial needs.
Joe worked for a prominent phone company as a help desk technician. Although he was in charge of the help desk, his day was spent mostly coddling the multitudes of upset consumers whose voice mail, call waiting, and 3 way calling were not functioning. However, this day he was thankful for that, for this company saw fit to pay him, every 2 weeks, his salary…a salary that would be spent in short order at the local game store.
Fresh and ready for the day at hand, he grabbed his keys, his id card, and wallet from the kitchen table and headed out to the parking lot…where his car awaited. The car groaned as he sat down in the drivers seat…evidence of the failing nature of his shocks and struts. That did not matter now, though. It got him to work, and it will get him to the game store later.
++ Unexpected Developments ++
He watched the clock like an eagle, eying a field mouse thousands of yards away, waiting for the kill. 5 minutes. “Joe, I got a customer that wants to talk to a supervisor” one of his reps said, taking him out of the moment. “Damn, not NOW!” he thought…but the words that come out of his mouth were “Go ahead Linda, put him through.”
“…So sir, you are saying that you cannot check the messages on your voice mail?….Sir…Yeah but…Sir…ok…hmmm….yes….list…list…listen sir, I understand, but all you have…sir…” Joe would be there for a while.
The next fifteen minutes seemed like an eternity. Finally able to shake loose this ‘parasite’ that was an angry customer, he bolted for the door giving only cursory
Goodbyes’ and ‘see yas’ to those that he passed that he knew. When he got outside, putting the keys into his car door, his cell phone rang.
It was his girlfriend. “Hello honey” Joe answered.
“Hey Joe. You are going to pick me up tonight to take me to the bowling alley, right?”
DOH!!!!!
Joe forgot. It was league night. He had to bowl in an hour. “No honey, I was just on my way.” Joe responded. His gaming would have to be delayed for at least three hours. THREE HOURS! Damn, sometimes he really hated bowling.
He contemplated not showing up…maybe faking an injury or illness. But he also weighed the guilt that both his mom and girlfriend would lay on him if he did not show. Joe was a good bowler, averaging around 195. In his younger days, all he wanted to do was go pro. But that phase had passed. Now he only bowled for recreation. He still had fun with it. But tonight. DAMN!!! His team needed him anyway…and they were in second place in the league. That would mean more money to buy more computer stuff…
Joe drove to pick his girlfriend up, and then proceeded to the bowling alley.
++ Delay of Game ++
Another fun filled night of knocking down some pins was winding down. Surprisingly, Joe was doing pretty well, 205 the first game, and 213 the second…and his third would end up around 190-200. With his last frame up, he stepped up and threw his shot. His team was laughing and having a good time, joking with their competition. Friends he knew at the bowling center also came up to see how Joe was doing. But to everyone he seemed distant and distracted. Joe was not thinking about his bowling at this time, but of what civilization he would play with first.
When the game ended, he packed his equipment in record time, and was waiting by the door for his girlfriend. “come on COME ON!” he thought, but the words that escaped his lips were “Take your time, honey.”
With his equipment packed away in his trunk, and his girlfriend sitting in the passenger seat, he started his car and began the short journey to the mall located next door.
“Hey baby, where are we going?” she asked?
“I want to pick up something at the mall for my computer.” He responded, paying attention to his driving.
“Oh, a game.” She acknowledged. She knew he had a fondness for computer games, but she rarely played herself. When the mood struck her, she would sit down for hours playing Diablo 2. Nice and simple. Click on monster, kill monster. Joe had tried to introduce her to other games, but it never took. She shunned anything that had more than 3 icons to click on the screen.
Joe did not respond to her, but kept driving. Within 2 minutes, the car was parked, and he was entering the mall. His girlfriend walked a few step behind. He seemed to not notice.
He entered the game store. The Mecca for people like Joe. Some people liked to go to amusement parks. Others bars. Museums, sporting events, plays, and Movies elicited the same excited response from others that walking into the software boutique did for Joe.
The place was crowded. About 20 kids…from10 to 40…were packed into the small corner store like cattle in a stock car. Apparently, some new title for the Gamestation, Playcube, or Z box had just came out. Madden Hockey or Tiger woods football…whatever. He did not care for these things. He was looking for one thing only. He squeezed and squirmed over to the ‘new title’ section for the PC.
It was not there.
“NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOO!” is what he thought. But he ended up saying “Darn. I can’t seem to find what I am looking for.”
The distinctive tan yellowish box was nowhere to be seen. He felt a sinking feeling entering the pit of his stomach.
“What is this?” His girlfriend asked. She reached down and picked up a box that was laying on the floor, apparently spilled by some reckless teenager looking for Tekken 4.7341 .
Civilization III.
The feeling that Joe felt at that time is almost impossible to put to words. Imagine utter disappointment, followed by complete bliss. If there was a word to describe this feeling, rest assured, good reader, that it would be used.
“Ahh honey! This is it.” Joe responded. His smile too big to describe.
“Well, lets get it and get out of here.” She was getting annoyed with the pre pubescent crowd fighting for position to get the latest pokemon title.
When Joe arrived at the counter, the teenaged clerk responded in the most monotonous tone “I am sorry but we are out of Tiger Woods football, but you can pre order…”
“Its ok, good sir.” Joe responded, “I wish to purchase this!” Joe placed the game on the counter. The clerk looked surprised and relieved. The transaction was concluded, and Joe was on his way home with his girlfriend in tow.
++ The moment of Truth ++
Joe showed proper respect to his girl. She did, after all, find the game for him. Once they got back to his condo, they ordered out and spent a quiet evening together. Joe was willing to wait. He had the game. He would have plenty of time to play it later.
After parting with a kiss, Joe rushed to his room, grabbing the game off of the counter…nearly killing both himself and his cat. He sat down at his computer and prepared for the moment of truth.
With one swift move, the game was unwrapped, out of the box, and in the CD tray. Joe waited. The auto start began, followed by the installation. The next fifteen minutes seemed like an eternity.
Finally completed, the icons where placed on his desktop. His hand was one his mouse. He positioned the pointer over the icon, and clicked.
It began.
The monitor screen turned black, the cd began to spin, and the hard drive began to scream its own cryptic language.
He heard a sound.
The message was very clear. “Buffer error”.
That sinking feeling was there again.
“This cannot be!” Joe thought, but the words he spoke was “SH&*!!!!”
He began to sweat. All of his plans have come crashing to a screaming halt…’Buffer Error” was the name spray painted on the wall he had just slammed into at 100 mph.
Joe was a smart man. After regaining composer, he sat back and considered his options. Online tech support or talking to Tech Support in the morning.
“That online stuff NEVER works.” He thought.
The second option was a last resort. He started his ISP and proceeded to the CIV 3 sight.
++ Solutions ++
“Well, what do you know?” Joe thought. “They actually have a solution for this error!”. With his printer not working, he wrote down the suggested fix, and began to apply it. It seemed he would need to turn down or off his hardware acceleration. It was worth a shot.
He restarted his computer. He clicked on the Icon. The screen turned black again.
The hard drive squawked. His cd spun.
The mouse cursor appeared. It disappeared again. It was taking longer this time. Joe was hopeful.
Then it appeared.
“INFOGRAMES”
IT WORKED!!!!!!
The same feeling he felt only hours earlier returned. His hand quivering with excitement, he opted to start a new game. Worlds will fall, alliances would be made, and empires would crumble this evening.
“…those GD Germans!!!”
A few hours later…
“…the world will bow before the Iroquios…”
Later still…
“…damn! There is coal in Newcastle! It is mine!!! Muwahahahah…”
The sun began to rise…
“…Ha!!!!! I took Tyre back, you piece of….”
Joe crawled into bed that morning, exhausted. Dreams of conquering armies entertained him while he slept.
++ Repercussions ++
It had been a week. Joe had not been the same at work.
“Joe, I have an escalation. Joe? Joe!” Linda, his lead rep, startled him out of his plans of attacking the Americans.
“What?” He asked?
“I have an escalation!” She responded.
“Oh, put the guy through” Thought Joe. But what he said was “Dammit, I only have three turns until I get Replacement Parts!”
Linda stood back, shocked. “Excuse me”
Joe shook his head as if he just woke from a dream. “I’m sorry Linda. I was distracted. Go ahead and put the customer through.”
A few days later, Joe was in his leadership meeting. He stood before his managers and directors, giving his quarterly presentation to the status of the help desk. “As you can see, we increased the resolution time from 48 hours to 24” was what he thought. But what he said was “As you can see, if we attack Washington, we will secure the valuable iron deposits in the outlying hills.”
The directors and managers looked at Joe with a puzzled look.
++ Doctors Visit +
Dr. Randall was followed down the hall by several interns.
“This next subject is a curious case. Obsessive to the extreme, he has closed himself into his own little world.”
“What is the nature of this malady?” One of the interns questioned.
“It seems he thinks he is some world leader. Look here.” The doctor showed the interns several pictures that lay on a table. They appeared to be maps.
The patient began to become agitated. “Hey! If you want my world maps, then you will have to give me Gunpowder and Theology!”
The doctors looked at the patient in a most fascinated way.
The nametag on the arm of the patient was visible. It read ‘Joe….”
++ The End ++
November 1st.
It had finally come.
It seemed like Christmas to Joe. He marked this day on his calendar the day he found that Firaxis was making Civilization III. And now, as he wiped the sleep from his eyes, the day had finally arrived.
He glanced at his computer sitting in the corner. “Oh what fun we will have, my friend” he thought, and a wry smile crossed his face. He got up out of bed, and proceeded to attend to his basic hygenial needs.
Joe worked for a prominent phone company as a help desk technician. Although he was in charge of the help desk, his day was spent mostly coddling the multitudes of upset consumers whose voice mail, call waiting, and 3 way calling were not functioning. However, this day he was thankful for that, for this company saw fit to pay him, every 2 weeks, his salary…a salary that would be spent in short order at the local game store.
Fresh and ready for the day at hand, he grabbed his keys, his id card, and wallet from the kitchen table and headed out to the parking lot…where his car awaited. The car groaned as he sat down in the drivers seat…evidence of the failing nature of his shocks and struts. That did not matter now, though. It got him to work, and it will get him to the game store later.
++ Unexpected Developments ++
He watched the clock like an eagle, eying a field mouse thousands of yards away, waiting for the kill. 5 minutes. “Joe, I got a customer that wants to talk to a supervisor” one of his reps said, taking him out of the moment. “Damn, not NOW!” he thought…but the words that come out of his mouth were “Go ahead Linda, put him through.”
“…So sir, you are saying that you cannot check the messages on your voice mail?….Sir…Yeah but…Sir…ok…hmmm….yes….list…list…listen sir, I understand, but all you have…sir…” Joe would be there for a while.
The next fifteen minutes seemed like an eternity. Finally able to shake loose this ‘parasite’ that was an angry customer, he bolted for the door giving only cursory
Goodbyes’ and ‘see yas’ to those that he passed that he knew. When he got outside, putting the keys into his car door, his cell phone rang.
It was his girlfriend. “Hello honey” Joe answered.
“Hey Joe. You are going to pick me up tonight to take me to the bowling alley, right?”
DOH!!!!!
Joe forgot. It was league night. He had to bowl in an hour. “No honey, I was just on my way.” Joe responded. His gaming would have to be delayed for at least three hours. THREE HOURS! Damn, sometimes he really hated bowling.
He contemplated not showing up…maybe faking an injury or illness. But he also weighed the guilt that both his mom and girlfriend would lay on him if he did not show. Joe was a good bowler, averaging around 195. In his younger days, all he wanted to do was go pro. But that phase had passed. Now he only bowled for recreation. He still had fun with it. But tonight. DAMN!!! His team needed him anyway…and they were in second place in the league. That would mean more money to buy more computer stuff…
Joe drove to pick his girlfriend up, and then proceeded to the bowling alley.
++ Delay of Game ++
Another fun filled night of knocking down some pins was winding down. Surprisingly, Joe was doing pretty well, 205 the first game, and 213 the second…and his third would end up around 190-200. With his last frame up, he stepped up and threw his shot. His team was laughing and having a good time, joking with their competition. Friends he knew at the bowling center also came up to see how Joe was doing. But to everyone he seemed distant and distracted. Joe was not thinking about his bowling at this time, but of what civilization he would play with first.
When the game ended, he packed his equipment in record time, and was waiting by the door for his girlfriend. “come on COME ON!” he thought, but the words that escaped his lips were “Take your time, honey.”
With his equipment packed away in his trunk, and his girlfriend sitting in the passenger seat, he started his car and began the short journey to the mall located next door.
“Hey baby, where are we going?” she asked?
“I want to pick up something at the mall for my computer.” He responded, paying attention to his driving.
“Oh, a game.” She acknowledged. She knew he had a fondness for computer games, but she rarely played herself. When the mood struck her, she would sit down for hours playing Diablo 2. Nice and simple. Click on monster, kill monster. Joe had tried to introduce her to other games, but it never took. She shunned anything that had more than 3 icons to click on the screen.
Joe did not respond to her, but kept driving. Within 2 minutes, the car was parked, and he was entering the mall. His girlfriend walked a few step behind. He seemed to not notice.
He entered the game store. The Mecca for people like Joe. Some people liked to go to amusement parks. Others bars. Museums, sporting events, plays, and Movies elicited the same excited response from others that walking into the software boutique did for Joe.
The place was crowded. About 20 kids…from10 to 40…were packed into the small corner store like cattle in a stock car. Apparently, some new title for the Gamestation, Playcube, or Z box had just came out. Madden Hockey or Tiger woods football…whatever. He did not care for these things. He was looking for one thing only. He squeezed and squirmed over to the ‘new title’ section for the PC.
It was not there.
“NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOO!” is what he thought. But he ended up saying “Darn. I can’t seem to find what I am looking for.”
The distinctive tan yellowish box was nowhere to be seen. He felt a sinking feeling entering the pit of his stomach.
“What is this?” His girlfriend asked. She reached down and picked up a box that was laying on the floor, apparently spilled by some reckless teenager looking for Tekken 4.7341 .
Civilization III.
The feeling that Joe felt at that time is almost impossible to put to words. Imagine utter disappointment, followed by complete bliss. If there was a word to describe this feeling, rest assured, good reader, that it would be used.
“Ahh honey! This is it.” Joe responded. His smile too big to describe.
“Well, lets get it and get out of here.” She was getting annoyed with the pre pubescent crowd fighting for position to get the latest pokemon title.
When Joe arrived at the counter, the teenaged clerk responded in the most monotonous tone “I am sorry but we are out of Tiger Woods football, but you can pre order…”
“Its ok, good sir.” Joe responded, “I wish to purchase this!” Joe placed the game on the counter. The clerk looked surprised and relieved. The transaction was concluded, and Joe was on his way home with his girlfriend in tow.
++ The moment of Truth ++
Joe showed proper respect to his girl. She did, after all, find the game for him. Once they got back to his condo, they ordered out and spent a quiet evening together. Joe was willing to wait. He had the game. He would have plenty of time to play it later.
After parting with a kiss, Joe rushed to his room, grabbing the game off of the counter…nearly killing both himself and his cat. He sat down at his computer and prepared for the moment of truth.
With one swift move, the game was unwrapped, out of the box, and in the CD tray. Joe waited. The auto start began, followed by the installation. The next fifteen minutes seemed like an eternity.
Finally completed, the icons where placed on his desktop. His hand was one his mouse. He positioned the pointer over the icon, and clicked.
It began.
The monitor screen turned black, the cd began to spin, and the hard drive began to scream its own cryptic language.
He heard a sound.
The message was very clear. “Buffer error”.
That sinking feeling was there again.
“This cannot be!” Joe thought, but the words he spoke was “SH&*!!!!”
He began to sweat. All of his plans have come crashing to a screaming halt…’Buffer Error” was the name spray painted on the wall he had just slammed into at 100 mph.
Joe was a smart man. After regaining composer, he sat back and considered his options. Online tech support or talking to Tech Support in the morning.
“That online stuff NEVER works.” He thought.
The second option was a last resort. He started his ISP and proceeded to the CIV 3 sight.
++ Solutions ++
“Well, what do you know?” Joe thought. “They actually have a solution for this error!”. With his printer not working, he wrote down the suggested fix, and began to apply it. It seemed he would need to turn down or off his hardware acceleration. It was worth a shot.
He restarted his computer. He clicked on the Icon. The screen turned black again.
The hard drive squawked. His cd spun.
The mouse cursor appeared. It disappeared again. It was taking longer this time. Joe was hopeful.
Then it appeared.
“INFOGRAMES”
IT WORKED!!!!!!
The same feeling he felt only hours earlier returned. His hand quivering with excitement, he opted to start a new game. Worlds will fall, alliances would be made, and empires would crumble this evening.
“…those GD Germans!!!”
A few hours later…
“…the world will bow before the Iroquios…”
Later still…
“…damn! There is coal in Newcastle! It is mine!!! Muwahahahah…”
The sun began to rise…
“…Ha!!!!! I took Tyre back, you piece of….”
Joe crawled into bed that morning, exhausted. Dreams of conquering armies entertained him while he slept.
++ Repercussions ++
It had been a week. Joe had not been the same at work.
“Joe, I have an escalation. Joe? Joe!” Linda, his lead rep, startled him out of his plans of attacking the Americans.
“What?” He asked?
“I have an escalation!” She responded.
“Oh, put the guy through” Thought Joe. But what he said was “Dammit, I only have three turns until I get Replacement Parts!”
Linda stood back, shocked. “Excuse me”
Joe shook his head as if he just woke from a dream. “I’m sorry Linda. I was distracted. Go ahead and put the customer through.”
A few days later, Joe was in his leadership meeting. He stood before his managers and directors, giving his quarterly presentation to the status of the help desk. “As you can see, we increased the resolution time from 48 hours to 24” was what he thought. But what he said was “As you can see, if we attack Washington, we will secure the valuable iron deposits in the outlying hills.”
The directors and managers looked at Joe with a puzzled look.
++ Doctors Visit +
Dr. Randall was followed down the hall by several interns.
“This next subject is a curious case. Obsessive to the extreme, he has closed himself into his own little world.”
“What is the nature of this malady?” One of the interns questioned.
“It seems he thinks he is some world leader. Look here.” The doctor showed the interns several pictures that lay on a table. They appeared to be maps.
The patient began to become agitated. “Hey! If you want my world maps, then you will have to give me Gunpowder and Theology!”
The doctors looked at the patient in a most fascinated way.
The nametag on the arm of the patient was visible. It read ‘Joe….”
++ The End ++
Good luck if you submitted this for the weekly contest.
Can't AIM there 
Talk about going insane, at least Joe got to play it first...
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