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There's something freeing about summer vacation... especially after a year of a college education. Returning to my usual activities for when I'm bored, I have come back to the Civ 3 forums to see if anyone else is around, and I offer the following to the critics who I ask pick apart in a constructive matter. High fives for all and spiff dibbles, here is: Victorious Return!
Well, I'm sticking to some of my favorite characters from within Civ 3 and other things too. This story is a what if scenario, namely, what if the Chinese had used gunpowder for guns instead of fireworks, and Alexander the Great's conquest had stretched further east so that these two civilizations in their "golden age" may have met.
1200 AD
The Frontier War was in full swing. Alexander's great army was carving a great Empire directly into China's heart. The Chinese council of three, a group of warlords that banded together to stop the foreign threat, was meeting to discuss the implementation of a new means of creating fire:
"My gracious and exalted lords. I am your humble servant Zhuge Liang. I have completed the project which you have assigned to me, surpassing every expectation you set before me, and bettering every promise I made for you."
Cao Cao, the head councilman, was skeptical of this "strategist" from Shu.
"How will this be an effective weapon? Your demonstration seemed nothing more than smoke and loud noise!"
"Well sir, perhaps you would like to see what it can do to a human being, if it is not effective, then surely a great man such as yourself would be brave enough to submit your body to a simple test."
Cao Cao knew Zhuge's reputation, and as such decided to bring in melons to test the new weapon on first.
In moments, one of Cao Cao's advisors, Jia Xu, had set up an array of melons on pikes in the main chamber.
"Xiahou Dun! Show this 'strategist' what a warrior can do!"
Xiahou Dun charged the first melon and obliterated it in one stroke from his sword.
"Warriors hate melon!!!!!!!!!!!" Xiahou Dun roared before returning to his post along the chamber wall.
"Impressive!" chided Zhuge, "watch this."
Zhuge Liang moved with the utmost grace and ceremony, the Council would think this weapon cowardly if he acted any other way. He set the firearm up and aimed it in a line through the melons.
BLAAAAH BLAMMMMMMMMMMMMM!! The chamber was filled with smoke and the council watched in awe as the remaining melons seemed to explode into bits.
"Was this demonstration satisfactory sires?"
Before Cao Cao could speak, Liu Bei, ruler of Shu, stood up. "Excellent demonstration master Zhuge, please return to Shu and comission artisans to produce enough of these weapons to rearm half of our archer corps."
"Yes sire!" and with that Zhuge rushed out the doorway knowing full well that Cao Cao felt anger at being made a fool of by Zhuge.
Meanwhile, somewheres east of the Himalayas...
"This indiginous buffalo makes me wanna Yak!!!!!!!!!"
Great words from a great leader, Lord Alexander was suffering from a lack of spice.
" I thought our spices came from the Orient! If things were to get any more oriental around here I would become Tibetan!"
"Sire, in all respect, we just traversed the largest mountains any one of us has ever seen."
"Not true! I've seen bigger!"
"Well then, except for my glorious sire, they were the largest any have ever seen."
"That's better, now this indiginous food isn't good, could I sample the indiginous women now?"
"You could sire, if there were any.. all we've found so far are monks who worship llamas"
"Cool! A petting zoo! I bet we find all kinds of chicks there!"
Alexander's advisor sometimes felt more like Alexander's mommy than a trusted advisor.
"Sire we need to prepare to take this next city, if we are successful I promise you there will be local... ahem "flavors" to sample."
"Do it then!"
Oooh more until I get a job!
Well, I'm sticking to some of my favorite characters from within Civ 3 and other things too. This story is a what if scenario, namely, what if the Chinese had used gunpowder for guns instead of fireworks, and Alexander the Great's conquest had stretched further east so that these two civilizations in their "golden age" may have met.
1200 AD
The Frontier War was in full swing. Alexander's great army was carving a great Empire directly into China's heart. The Chinese council of three, a group of warlords that banded together to stop the foreign threat, was meeting to discuss the implementation of a new means of creating fire:
"My gracious and exalted lords. I am your humble servant Zhuge Liang. I have completed the project which you have assigned to me, surpassing every expectation you set before me, and bettering every promise I made for you."
Cao Cao, the head councilman, was skeptical of this "strategist" from Shu.
"How will this be an effective weapon? Your demonstration seemed nothing more than smoke and loud noise!"
"Well sir, perhaps you would like to see what it can do to a human being, if it is not effective, then surely a great man such as yourself would be brave enough to submit your body to a simple test."
Cao Cao knew Zhuge's reputation, and as such decided to bring in melons to test the new weapon on first.
In moments, one of Cao Cao's advisors, Jia Xu, had set up an array of melons on pikes in the main chamber.
"Xiahou Dun! Show this 'strategist' what a warrior can do!"
Xiahou Dun charged the first melon and obliterated it in one stroke from his sword.
"Warriors hate melon!!!!!!!!!!!" Xiahou Dun roared before returning to his post along the chamber wall.
"Impressive!" chided Zhuge, "watch this."
Zhuge Liang moved with the utmost grace and ceremony, the Council would think this weapon cowardly if he acted any other way. He set the firearm up and aimed it in a line through the melons.
BLAAAAH BLAMMMMMMMMMMMMM!! The chamber was filled with smoke and the council watched in awe as the remaining melons seemed to explode into bits.
"Was this demonstration satisfactory sires?"
Before Cao Cao could speak, Liu Bei, ruler of Shu, stood up. "Excellent demonstration master Zhuge, please return to Shu and comission artisans to produce enough of these weapons to rearm half of our archer corps."
"Yes sire!" and with that Zhuge rushed out the doorway knowing full well that Cao Cao felt anger at being made a fool of by Zhuge.
Meanwhile, somewheres east of the Himalayas...
"This indiginous buffalo makes me wanna Yak!!!!!!!!!"
Great words from a great leader, Lord Alexander was suffering from a lack of spice.
" I thought our spices came from the Orient! If things were to get any more oriental around here I would become Tibetan!"
"Sire, in all respect, we just traversed the largest mountains any one of us has ever seen."
"Not true! I've seen bigger!"
"Well then, except for my glorious sire, they were the largest any have ever seen."
"That's better, now this indiginous food isn't good, could I sample the indiginous women now?"
"You could sire, if there were any.. all we've found so far are monks who worship llamas"
"Cool! A petting zoo! I bet we find all kinds of chicks there!"
Alexander's advisor sometimes felt more like Alexander's mommy than a trusted advisor.
"Sire we need to prepare to take this next city, if we are successful I promise you there will be local... ahem "flavors" to sample."
"Do it then!"
Oooh more until I get a job!
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