Announcement

**Rhothaerill** · March 31, 2004, 15:31

I'm still relatively new to the stories forum too, but I'll echo SKILORD's advice to others. The dialogue you had at the end could really use some concrete names (i.e. "dialogue" said Brennus). Something along those lines. It's hard to follow several lines of dialogue without knowing exactly who is the speaker.

I'd also probably break up the paragraphs between Cleo and where Brennus comes in with at the very least a line across the page. It makes it easier to know that the perspective has changed. For example...

the present
------------
Emperor Brennus

Other than that, looks good.

I hope to see more soon.

**theCzar** · March 31, 2004, 17:38

Originally posted by Rhothaerill
The dialogue you had at the end could really use some concrete names (i.e. "dialogue" said Brennus).

I didn't bother since there was only 2 people in the conversation, so after an intial indication as to who is speaking, i let it slide so as not to disrupt the dialogue with excessive verbage!

However, i've taken your advice, and been a bit more explicit.

Thanks for the quick reply. I've got 4 more chapters written, but they're still being edited and corrected.

**Rhothaerill** · March 31, 2004, 17:51

Originally posted by theCzar
I've got 4 more chapters written, but they're still being edited and corrected.

You're quicker than me. I wrote the first chapter of a story a few weeks ago and haven't had time yet to sit down and write more.

**Paddy** · March 31, 2004, 20:17

Welcome theCzar.

thanks for this

looking forward to more

**ChrisiusMaximus** · April 1, 2004, 12:45

Nice start The Czar, well done and good advice their from Rhothaerill

Looking forward to seeing your next post

**theCzar** · April 1, 2004, 19:14

Thanks for the encouragement, forgive typo's on the basis that it's quater past midnight at the moment!

Chapter 2

The council gathered in the airy, eastern wing of his palace, decorated in the Greco-Roman style to commemorate the first great victory of the Celtic nation. The council was small, and handpicked to represent the interests of their respective fields before the Emperor. Boru sat in the corner of the room, not officially a member of the council, but often consulted. Brennus stood at the head of the table and bade the councillors sit.

‘Gentlemen’ he began ‘We know why we’re here, lets get to it, General O’Neill, Status report?’

‘The Egyptians have really caught us on the hop, their surprise attack found much of our troops on leave in the cities of Medina and Damascus. I’m afraid our losses have been heavy. We counterattacked as soon as we could with the Mecca garrison, destroying many of their troops in the open plains, and drove them back by the end of the first day.’ Responded O’Neill, his eyes fixed on the mahogany conference table.

‘How is it that all this could happen yesterday, and only now we hear about it? I thought the new telegraph system was installed with such eventualities in mind.’ Forwarded the Economic councillor, a fat merchant called Henri DeMarquer.

‘Sabotage at Breda - a small town north of Amsterdam - It took us all day to find the source of the interruption.’ Explained O’Neill.

‘Breda is on the Korean border, less than an hour’s journey.’ remarked Boru from the sidelines, as if he meant nothing by the implication. ‘Who’s the commander in charge of the Arabian province?’ He asked.

‘It falls under the jurisdiction of the Grand Army commander, Lord Eoghan, a brave commander, and a skilled tactician.’ Assured O’Neill.

‘Your brother-in-law to boot.’ sniped Boru, but Brennus stepped in quickly.

‘I approved the appointment myself, Boru, as you know. He is a strong leader, but perhaps a bit prone to attack regardless of the bigger picture, send a telegram to order 10 divisions held back and sent north-west to Amsterdam to act as a strategic reserve.’

‘Sir!’ said O’Neill looking to his aide, who understood and left the room. Brennus looked at the situation map, the infantry that had been mustered and sent to garrison the Arabian cities were still several weeks away. The journey was a torturous trek from the green fields of Entremont to the parched wastes the Arabian desert, through the jungles of Germany and the mountains of Holland. Only a tiny portion of the route had been railroaded. He turned to the Councillor for public works.

‘I want all workers to concentrate on the railway, put the other work on hold, I want 30 miles of track laid a day between here and Mecca.’ He demanded. ‘via Breda’ He added as if as an after thought.

The councillor knew better than to argue, if Brennus said he wanted 30 miles a day, it was because he knew it could be done. He simply inclined his head to indicate his assent. Brennus turned to the merchant.

‘What’s the status on the work we discussed last month.’ He meant the elaborate plans for modernising life in his cities.

‘barely 10%, it will take at least a year for all cities to finish the upgrades.’

‘I want the top 15 cities to continue the work, the next 10 to start recruiting fresh infantry divisions.’ Brennus ordered, he turned to General O’Neill again, ‘I trust you disagree.’

‘I feel we should throw our full weight behind this war, if our enemy sees our resolve, the war will be shorter, and we’ll enjoy better terms, we could do with 20 more cavalry regiments just to make up our losses.’ Argued the war councillor, but he saw he’d lost this argument all ready, and he didn’t pursue it with his normal vigour. Brennus absorbed his response before replying.

‘You’re quite right, within a limited scope. Our cavalry is in it’s twilight, the new bolt action rifles we’re equipping our forces with give a single regiment of infantry the power stop 4 or 5 regiments in their tracks, and I happen to know the Egyptians have these rifles as well. After all, we sold them the technology 3 months ago, when they were our firm friends. The ways of war are changing, and for now at least, it is the slow and well equipped army that triumphs, this will be a war of industry and attrition, I fear that our current industry isn’t up to the task of taking on the world, and I believe this is the war to start all wars.’ Brennus finished grimly.

**theCzar** · April 1, 2004, 19:18

Author's Note, again: I post chapter 3 straight away because i feel 2 is a bit weak on it's own, sorry for the excess reading required, it's shorter than the last!!!

Chapter 3

Two thousand miles away, Lord Eoghan had surveyed and directed the chaos from a tower atop the city gates of Medina. Cleopatra’s forces had inflicted heavy losses, but Eoghan still had a powerful, experienced army. He cursed his opponents timing, had this same attack occurred two months ago, or two months from now, it would have been swatted aside, but at this point, at this time, it had thrown the largest army the world had ever seen, into total disarray.

Thanks to good martial discipline and the low level commanders, all elected by their own men, the rout was stopped, and soon reversed. When Eoghan failed to receive acknowledgement of his message to the Emperor, he knew he’d be on his own for the first day, and despite Boru’s jab several thousand miles away, Eoghan was indeed a good commander. He called in his reserves and mustered every able man into the counterattack, with great speed, he had not only driven the enemy from the gates, but further east, into Egyptian territory, seizing a key border town with only moderate losses. He didn’t easily send his troops to die, but he knew his superiority in numbers only held while he was on the offensive.

Wounded soldiers were everywhere, huge groups of surly Egyptian prisoners were sent behind the lines under a skeleton guard with orders to avoid all towns on the way to the detention camps in Holland, lest the prisoners rebel, and cause real damage. Meanwhile, Lord Eoghan sent telegrams to every city in the area demanding that any veteran garrisons be dispatched to the front, most cities responded to say they were awaiting the same reinforcements he was, others didn’t respond at all. He’d had his counterattack, and now it was the Egyptians turn.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Cleopatra knew all about Lord Eoghan, she respected his skill on the battlefield, having read the many books on his campaigns in Germany, but knew his strength lay in his ability to concentrate his ferocious energy on what lay before his mind’s eye, while she could look at the big picture. She hoped her deal with the Koreans would come through, and that they had succeeded in cutting communications, but it was out of her control now, so she dwelt on it no longer. Her own army was badly depleted, worse than she had hoped, but less than she had feared. Crucially, she had succeeded in pulling the Celtic reserves out from behind the tall walls of Mecca. A dusty rider was escorted to her majesty, a Korean Dragoon; he presented her with the news she awaited. Phase 2 had begun.

**ChrisiusMaximus** · April 1, 2004, 19:22

Cracking stuff simply cracking

**unscratchedfoot** · April 2, 2004, 19:55

I totally agree with Chris. This story cracks like a frozen pond with a herd of elephants stampeding over it.

Please more battle details. Please don't skip battle parts. Just my opinion but I don't like when there is a big build-up to a fight and then suddenly... "after the battle there was...". What happened in the battle I wonder. Was there a battle?

I think this is the writer trying to hurry the story but actually loses the story in the process. If you need to edit then reduce the long-winded aftermath part or build-up (I like build-up too but aftermath is not interest), not the meat of the story (less bun okay but keep the meat, never keep bun but reduce meat).

Please keep the material coming.

**theCzar** · April 4, 2004, 16:33

Chapter 4

Authors Note: Thanks for the encouragement!! For those who wanted action, I present the Fall of Medina, i've done my best!

The lookout sounded the alarm at the break of dawn, and Eoghan came running from his chambers, he had not slept and his mind was weary, but his body had rested at least. He climbed the long stairs, quicker for the lack of armour that he’d left beside his bed. He looked in the direction of the frightened youth’s gaze and saw the dust rise like storm clouds on the horizon, the Northern horizon; the Koreans were about to enter the fray. He barked his orders for preparation, for what little use it was, the walls of Medina were in poor repair, having only fallen to the Celts two months ago, the requested materials had not yet arrived. He sent runners east, ordering the retreat of the army to Medina, and the abandonment of the border fort he’d bought with the blood of his men. More runners were sent west, to notify Mecca of the situation. After that, he got dressed, slowly and deliberately, he had to wait and see.

The illogical, polite procedures that heralded the battle began at 11am, with the arrival of a Korean Emissary. He formally requested Eoghan surrender the city, and disarm his men. Eoghan was a career soldier who had risen to his position from the rank and file. He neither understood these customs of war, nor cared for their upkeep. He confiscated the emissaries’ horse and armour and had him escorted to the gates by a jeering crowd. After all, a country that had failed to declare war before attacking surely waived any special rights accorded in times of conflict. The horse couldn’t understand commands unless spoken in Korean, and it was of poor breeding by the look of it, disappointed, Eoghan gave it to the mess officer. And returned to his post at the top of the gates, and awaited the trouble ahead.

The walls of medina were built in the pre-gunpowder age, tall and thin. At 2pm the Korean artillery barrage blasted the crumbling masonry of the north wall to dust and deadly shrapnel that rained on the defenders below. There were barely a thousand troops in the city, yet they had a grim determination to make the Koreans pay a heavy price for the gains. Nearly four thousand Korean heavy cavalry charged as the guns fell silent. They closed the 300 yards so fast the defenders had barely time to pick off one or two before running from the walls. Eoghan ordered they retire to the narrow, barricaded streets, the walls couldn’t be held against such force. The cavalry poured through the gaps in the ancient wall.

The lead Korean officer realised the mistake he’d made as his horse crested the pile of rubble between him and the city. He tried to halt the charge but the pressure from behind forced him and many others down the steep slope on to the pikes below. The pikes had been fashioned from the materials to hand, but the clutter of sharpened poles was no less effective for it. Those who avoided the pikes were easily picked off from the windows of shops that lined the road. But the strength of the Koreans overcame the perimeter within half and hour.

The population of Medina had mostly fled since the morning; the Koreans were powerless to stop nearly fifty thousand women and children carrying what they could towards Mecca, 50 miles to the west. Once the cavalry were past the wall, they found a ghost town; its defenders had melted away. They chuckled to themselves, for once the intelligence was right, it would be easy. The road ahead lead straight into the city, to the large open square in front of the old palace that was there goal. An old Major ordered them down the road at a trot, no sense in sprinting into an ambush; he could see a barricade ahead. The first cannon ball tore straight through him and the five men behind. The second ball killed four more. Realising there was no way back, except forward, the cavalry charged the cannons.

Eoghan stood between the cannons and watched with apprehension as the cavalry came closer, the cannons tore down a half dozen at a time, but there were thousands behind them. “Now” urged Eoghan, “Now”. It seemed hopeless when the ropes snapped taught. The cavalry charge turned to a disaster, a dozen horses fell in the front row, and those behind were powerless to stop. The cannons kept up a merciless tirade. The retreat was sounded, and the cavalry attempted to turn in the tight confines. Suddenly, the side streets were full of riflemen, several hundred Koreans fell before they made it back to the city walls. The defenders cheered, but Eoghan knew it was merely the end of round one, and the Koreans would not be so foolish next time.

The Korean commander was furious, when the news of this set back reached high command, he would be in trouble. Over a third of his dragoons, the best soldiers in the land, were dead or wounded. He had been given orders to preserve their strength, but they had charged on their own for glory and honour. Yet to admit this break in the chain of command to his masters would be to sign his own dismissal. He had to turn this battle around, fast. He ordered his entire infantry force forward, over ten thousand rifles. Take no shortcuts, ignore no house or side street was the order, there were to be no repeats of the last fiasco. He looked apprehensively at the falling sun. He would have liked to wait until the following day, but time was of the essence, he had to secure the city before the Celtic army returned from the east, they were due any time.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

The Celtic grand army moved with all the haste such a large force could muster. Over fifteen thousand cavalry marched in a column two miles long. The man in charge was Lord Polonius of Adrianople, He was Eoghan’s second in command, and had been entrusted with this ill-fated trip east. Every inch of the way, Egyptian forces had harried them, but Polonius had made good time. As night swooped in across the desert, his heart fell. The western sky was ablaze, the city of Medina burned. There was nowhere else to go, so they continued onwards at a faster pace. They aimed for the hill to the north where many campfires could be seen.

**ChrisiusMaximus** · April 4, 2004, 16:59

a great addition amy there be many more

**Paddy** · April 7, 2004, 07:14

good stuff theCzar

more please, I still have some ink left in my printer

**unscratchedfoot** · April 7, 2004, 21:17

...enthusiastically chaotic...

Give us more battles like this please!

**theCzar** · April 8, 2004, 15:40

Chapter 5

Eoghan watched the fires spread through the tinder dry city with lightning speed. He had withdrawn to the southern half of the city. The enemy infantry poured into the northern half, and drove steadily towards the town centre, when the Koreans failed to meet the trouble described by the cavalry, they were filled with foreboding. They had expected hell, and its absence was somehow worse. Eoghan had made a difficult choice and sent a small group of men around the perimeter of the wall to start the inferno.

The strong northerly breeze blew the fire and the Koreans before it. The smoke spread panic among the already tense soldiers, and all discipline left them, every way they turned they saw fire leap the streets. Many abandoned their rifles in their haste to escape and were captured as they ran into Eoghan’s men; many others were caught in the flames and died a grisly death. Very few made it back to explain to the bewildered Korean commander what happened to his army. His supplies were depleted as they had travelled light, and over half his men were dead. He gave the orders for the remainder to de-camp; Medina was no longer a prize worth fighting for.

A bugle sounded in the night, the Koreans mistook it as one of their own ordering the retreat, and started the long walk home. The Celtic Grand Army materialised out of the night and slaughtered them. The Korean commander was almost relieved when a rifle round thudded into his chest, knocking him backwards off his horse. The sounds of battle began to fade in his ears, and he gazed at the stars. It was a better death than the one waiting his return to Seoul without an army.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Brennus had read the declaration of war aloud and the room was stunned. The intentions of Egypt and Korea were known, they hadn’t bothered to wait on the formality of an official declaration, but they hadn’t counted on this, seven nations had come together to destroy the Celts. The English, Vikings, Russians, Babylonians and the Portuguese had signed up to Cleopatra’s master plan. Thanks to mixture of bribery and coercion, Cleopatra had caused half the world to set aside their own differences in pursuit of the largest military engagement in history.

So it was that the Celtic councillors sat in a subdued mood, gazing with more than a little scepticism at the tiny Greek genius that directed the research potential of the empire.

‘I have some good news’ he said, the rest looked at him and waited while the shy genius prepared for his unlikely explanation.

‘Our recent experiments with oil have led to a remarkable breakthrough.’

‘You told us last month that it was good only for lighting lamps. Its explosive power lacked that of TNT, it was ill suited as a propellant compared to cordite, and the cost to convert to oil burning steam engines outweighed the benefits.’ Brennus observed.

‘That’s true, but we’ve found a way of harnessing it’s power directly, I believe it will replace steam power as the driving force in our engines. By vaporising it and igniting it in an enclosed cylinder, it releases immense power. We’ve successfully built an engine with the power of over a hundred horses, yet it’s far smaller than a boiler.’ he explained.

‘So what? Faster trains? Smaller trains?’ asked the Merchant, Henri; sceptical of how this helped in the dire situation they found themselves in. Winning a war was a boon to the economy; losing one was a different story.

‘Yes, but much more, I’m thinking of boats twice the size of our ironclads that can cross the great ocean in less than a week while carrying many more, heavier guns. We’ve started research on a vehicle that doesn’t need train tracks, and can carry artillery guns and enough armour to make them unstoppable.’ He paused; he had their rapt attention.

‘How long.’ asked Brennus quietly, afraid of the answer. Scientist’s hated deadlines, they like to drift off on tangents their research threw up, deadlines were conducive to cut corners and missed opportunities. But the little Greek understood the situation.

‘We can have the first working self-propelled combat vehicle model tested and delivered in four weeks with enough manpower and resources’ he ventured.

‘You’ve got it, but I want it in 2.’ said Brennus ‘I want this to be a secret weapon, Boru?’

‘Sir?’

‘Any ideas for getting a weapon the size of an Imperial carriage to the battle field without arousing suspicion?’

‘Put it in a box that says something else’ replied Boru, master of the obvious.

‘Like…’ prompted Brennus

‘Water Tank?’

Announcement

The War to Start All Wars

The War to Start All Wars

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment