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“Sunt Iniqui… Caderunt.” ["They are weak... They will fall."]

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  • “Sunt Iniqui… Caderunt.” ["They are weak... They will fall."]

    Loosely based on my current game. Enjoy.

    ---

    “Sunt Iniqui… Caderunt.”
    ["They are weak... They will fall."]

    The breaking surf was the only sound that reached Caesar’s ears. Marcus had doffed his rucksack and now sat upon it, staff in hand, and watched Caesar for his reaction. Behind him, the worker dared not set down his shovel, though his throat burned and the water flask was only just inside his pack.

    “Here,” said Caesar, shading his eyes from the bright glare on the waves, his lips twisting upward in a self-satisfied grin. “We shall settle here.” He lifted his arm to indicate the brown plain, beach, valley, and seven rolling hills that lay before him.

    Thus Rome was born.

    ---

    Theirs was a small continent; it was not tiny, but neither was it mammoth. The perfect size, it was a veritable paradise for its inhabitants. In the southeast, the parched sand of desert gave way on all sides to the rich loam of floodplains. Crisscrossed by rivers, Italia was the perfect home for Rome, and later Veii, and Cumae, and Ravenna, as more and more people went out into Eden to be fruitful and multiply.

    Caesar stood on his Palace balcony looking out along the Via Appia to Veii, and past it in the far distance he could see the great treeline that fueled its mills. But he also saw the softly sliding waves of the Tiber, the lifegiving water feeding the wheat and grapes and apples that were brought home by the barrel every night.

    Whispering, half to himself, half to Marcus, Caesar crooned, “There is so much food here.” He gave a tiny shake of the head and his mouth came up in an amazed smile. “How can we not flourish?”

    His most trusted advisor replied, “I do not know much about these things, Great One,” – but of course he did – “though I know that the people will always have their fill at a Roman table.”

    “Indeed they will. Look there, Marcus,” his hand indicating the Forum below, “watch the children. Their innocence is so complete – their parents can take them anywhere, all over Italia, and they will play just the same.”

    Marcus nodded gravely, as though some deep truth had been uttered. “Our people will soon fill this great island, but never will they lose sight of Rome. They will always remember why they work the fields, why their families have so much to eat – but even so, these borders will not hold our people forever.”

    Caesar’s eyelid moved a hairbreadth. “You speak the truth, but if you are so wise, then tell me where else we can go. Your puny fishing rafts cannot brave the great waves beyond the harbor.”

    Though he was expecting Caesar’s rebuke, Marcus had to suppress a groan. “I have told you before my friend,” he tried to keep his tone light, “our scientists can build great things if only you give them time.”

    Caesar’s brown eyes flashed; he scoffed, “Time – and also money. They emptied my pockets just to learn how to form that cursed black rock into a blade. Now we need all our gold for our troops.” His eyes grew wider and he stood a bit taller as he thought of his troops.

    Marcus knew of Caesar’s great devotion to the Legions, and he knew it was warranted (at least, Caesar considered it warranted) but he also knew that their potentially great civilization would founder without technological progress. However, he kept his silence.

    “I will make my rounds at the barracks and retire. Good night, friend.” Caesar clasped his advisor’s wrist and shaded his eyes against the bright evening sun.

    ---

    Fifty years later

    The Archers snapped their bows to their sides and brought up their arms in the distinctive low salute that had become Rome’s military hallmark. Quivers brimming and strings taut, they began the march up the hill.

    Caesar, in the lead, was first to set foot on the summit. Though the day was cloudy, he shaded his eyes from the sun and peered past the brush. What he saw made him laugh, half with gladness, half with astonishment

    “One city,” he remarked to Cassius, his general. “Thebes, on a plain, with this beautiful hill right beside it. It is incredible.”

    At once incredible and terrible, thought Cassius. “You can see their spearmen from here, Great One. They have no walls.”

    With a chuckle, “No shield of theirs can stop your arrows. Not only that. but all their axe-carriers are in the plains beyond the city.”

    Cassius could feel what was coming.

    “You must strike at dusk. I’ve already taken their masons – they only wanted our pots. There is nothing more they can give us.”

    He stroked the hilt of his longsword; his smile was mirthless.

    “Sunt iniqui… caderunt.”

    [“They are weak… They will fall.”]

    ---

    To be continued.

  • #2
    Not bad. Not good either. You need a little something unexpected or whatever to give a fresh feeling to the same old civ experience.
    Here is an interesting scenario to check out. The Vietnam war is cool.

    Comment


    • #3
      That's coming, scratch. Heh heh.

      Anybody else?

      Comment


      • #4
        Chapter Two

        Thebes
        A few hours later


        Battle.

        Cassius ducked as a spear hurtled past his head; he brought up his longsword, parried the oncoming blow, then dodged the next. An arrow whizzed past him and embedded itself in the spearman’s chest. The man looked down, surprised, and then toppled.

        Paulus lowered his bow and advanced. Cassius leapt into the ditch and Paulus followed, absorbing the impact with his knees. Cassius charged the line, shearing off spearheads and running the defenders through.

        Then a sharp pain in Paulus’ thigh; he spun, dislodging the spear – his bow was up and loaded in an eyeblink – sight down the shaft, release – a loud vwhuzz! and the arrow is deep in the spearman’s shoulder. Paulus leapt over, dove and rolled, came up beside another archer and unloaded arrow after arrow down the broken trenchline.

        A great war-cry; a spearman sprinting at full speed past his comrade’s bodies – Paulus drew, fired lightning-quick – the spearman jerked back like a dog on a leash, legs flying forward, landed hard, and didn’t get up. The other archer glanced over at Paulus, then spun on his heel, bow coming up, but too late –

        a blur of wood and metal, a sickening thud – blood spraying –

        Paulus leapt out of the shallow trench, crouched, and ran, drawing, saw the killer, his arm going back, another spear only a gray dot pointing at Paulus’ head –

        He leapt, legs drawing out in the air, diagonally across the trench – drew the string back like a spring, let it fly – hit the ground on his shoulder, rolled completely over, drew in an instant, came up like a cat, took aim –

        But all he saw was the spearman’s frame sprawled in the dirt, an arrow lodged in his bright red helmet. Revolted, Paulus turned and surveyed the battlefield.

        It had been a slaughter. The archers were coming out of the trench relatively unscathed, Caesar himself there at the front, leading the charge down the main thoroughfare. The primitive trench was carpeted with bodies, most of them wearing dark yellow and clutching the remains of spears.

        Paulus jogged to join the advance to Thebes’ Palace. Caesar was whooping, Cassius behind him, the archers falling into step, meeting no resistance at all now that they had breached the perimeter. The streets were deserted, a few figures trembling in dark corners; Paulus could see the demure Palace grower larger against the low skyline.

        And they were there, charging up the steps, through the great doors, and into the hall. A few guards stood their ground, receiving arrows by the dozens; most dropped their shields and fled for their lives through the side doors.

        Then they entered the throne room itself, the archers scattering about, Cleopatra there on her dais, the attendants and servants dropping platters, the air one huge gasp –

        Cleopatra half-stood, her eyes wide as platters, her mouth opening –

        Caesar drew back his sword arm, his body taut –

        Paulus ducked his head and screwed up his eyes. So did the man next to him, and the one next to him.

        When he looked up again, there was only Caesar, the echoes of his scream of triumph dying away, his chest heaving, his face flushed with victory, his eyes wide and brilliant, and his sword weeping its red tears onto the marble floor.

        Comment


        • #5
          Hmmm...maybe Civ4 should have a one-on-one leader battle mode...like a Tekken or something! "What?!?! I have your 101gp and Wines right here!" *whump*

          I liked the first part better, but probably because I'm only mildy interested in most battles written here. Technically nicely written and not finished, but overall I'd have to agree with Unscratched. Give us a little more reasons into why Caesar/Rome should invade. Just getting more land might be a good game reason, but doesn't always make a story.

          Comment


          • #6
            This is true. Perhaps I should have written more of the story before posting the first bit. I'm not sure you're really understanding the theme yet. Maybe I should be a little less subtle with my symbolism.

            Comment


            • #7
              I like it but then I suppose youll only mumble to yourself that Chrisius Maximus always likes everything.

              Ill not impose my opinion of others opinions but IMHO its a good start and all good things come from a good start, I will say though as I have pointed out many times before: This a fan fiction forum for stories based on the civ game experience !!!

              It hardly surprises me to come here and read great civ related stories!!

              Tom IMO you are the best writer Ive yet seen for up close battle scenes on this forum and IMO you should continue to write for us.

              Good start and Im looking forward to what is to come.
              A proud member of the "Apolyton Story Writers Guild".There are many great stories at the Civ 3 stories forum, do yourself a favour and visit the forum. Lose yourself in one of many epic tales and be inspired to write yourself, as I was.

              Comment


              • #8
                Keep the merchandise coming dude

                Chris, to put you in the right frame of mind, I'm trying to offer a little helpful commentation to smooth things along, instead of the usual "Good story" and full stop. So for this story I'm hoping for a little of the unexpected along with the civ experience. It's kinduv like having fries (extremely usual) and dipping them in very berry yogurt icecream - my recommendation.

                Guitaristdude's goods have always been good in my opinion, including this piece.
                Here is an interesting scenario to check out. The Vietnam war is cool.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Thank you both.

                  Chrisius, a little idea struck me while reading your post.

                  This has probably been done before, and even if it hasn't, it probably wouldn't work, but it might be cool/interesting to see if we can combine the diverse writing talent on this forum into one ultra-story. Each writer would contribute based on his personal strength, i.e., I could write the one-on-one or two-on-one battle scenes, Lazarus&Gimp writes the dialogue (since I majorly suck at that), others contribute descriptions, epic battle scenes with massive armies, plot twists, and so forth.

                  Just a thought.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Sounds good, actually. I'd write the...uhhhhh...the...uhhhhh...errrmmm...the...
                    Empire growing,
                    Pleasures flowing,
                    Fortune smiles and so should you.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Yes it would be interesting if we could pull it off and I think Unorthodox posted a thread on this topic just the other day.

                      But right now Id settle for some chips and berry yoghurt Mmmm Mmmm Are you up the duff Scratch ?
                      A proud member of the "Apolyton Story Writers Guild".There are many great stories at the Civ 3 stories forum, do yourself a favour and visit the forum. Lose yourself in one of many epic tales and be inspired to write yourself, as I was.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Damn, your battle scenes kick a**, player of guitars. Sometimes, quenching your thirst for blood, is a good enough reason for going to war. I like this story, just how loosely is it based on a Civ game???
                        "The Pershing Gulf War began when Satan Husane invaided Kiwi and Sandy Arabia. This was an act of premedication."
                        Read the Story ofLa Grande Nation , Sieg oder Tod and others, in the Stories Forum

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Geee... I only do dialouge really well, and Laz is better at that. I speak Latin, but as the title implies, so does he Guitarman.

                          Well, I'll find summat. Well, maybe I won't. :

                          Nice story mate.
                          Last edited by SKILORD; June 12, 2003, 21:18.
                          Read Blessed be the Peacemakers | Read Political Freedom | Read Pax Germania: A Story of Redemption | Read Unrelated Matters | Read Stains of Blood and Ash | Read Ripper: A Glimpse into the Life of Gen. Jack Sterling | Read Deutschland Erwachte! | Read The Best Friend | Read A Mothers Day Poem | Read Deliver us From Evil | Read The Promised Land

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Hey, Guitarist. I think this is a good start. Your battle scenes are, indeed, great, as you have shown with the previous story of yours, and you can still see the good stuff in this one. The first part, however, was a little lacking, I felt. (Well, scratch has pretty much summed it up, actually.) It is good to go back to a more civ-ish story, but I thought there was just something about the start that didn't feel right. The plot is fine, and so is the writing style, it seems, but it just doesn't feel like a Guitarist writing you know. I think the problem was with the Caesar. He kind of knows too much, I guess. I mean, the start seemed more like your perspective imposed on the Caesar (your, as in the player). I think the reason this one didn't feel right was that it felt too much like a step-by-step AAR... But it is getting better in the second part. Much better. The beginning of that was a little monotonous, I thought, in that the sentences all had the same structure. But I know I tried to write battle scenes a number of times, and I always end up like that. Not very good. But by the end of the second part, I think you got back to your particular writing style that truly does kick @$$.
                            XBox Live: VovanSim
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                            • #15
                              Like the story so far, it kind of reminds me of some of the earler works on Apolyton.
                              I am the second place man!

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