SPIN #4: UnO really is slacking at starting these.

[UnOrthOdOx]

You know the drill.

[Shiber]

UnO Slacks at Starting S.P.I.N Threads
Says thread title. More details to follow.

[ManicStarSeed]

Gathering Storm Diplomatic Minister Slacks as the World Falls on Dark Times.

ManicStarSeed, the Gathering Storm Diplomatic Minister who mysteriously disappeared immediately before hostilities broke out on Bob has been spotted briefly in “Spite and Mailace” Spin reporter Iwana No caught up to MSS on his way out and got to ask a few questions of this elusive character.

IN: Hey aren’t you ManicStarSeed?
MSS: Who wants to know?

IN: I am Iwana No with SPIN.
MSS: Oh, I see. Sure, as long as it is off the record, these are my personal views, not GS’s. I have a few moments, but I can’t stay for long. I have holes to drill and wire to pull. Pipes don’t plumb themselves, you know. Babies need love and attention, Never mind their mommies.

IN: So cryptic, I will be brief. Let me start by asking you, where have you been? Surly you must know of the current state of the world. Why have you avoided your responsibilities of conducting peaceful discourse with the nations of the world? We so need a calm voice amidst such storms .

MSS: Let me say that I am aware of the state of the world, though I have been out of the geopolitical arena for hundreds of years. I know that GS is helping RP remain alive in the face of the marauding bandits on Bob. Both GoW and ND have seen fit to carve up Bob and chose to exclude GS from the pickings. GS would not stand for it, not with a better offer on the table. Now GS is in this war. Lego and Vox have been smart enough to stay out of it. I hope for everybody’s sake, they will continue to maintain neutrality.

IN: So where have you been during all this.

MSS: Knee deep in dirty diapers, plaster, old pipe and electrical wires. Never mind the two weekend getaways?

IN: You puzzle me, please clarify, if you can.

MSS: Sure. My wife gave birth to my son in May. 6 weeks later I began a major kitchen renovation in my home. It involved rewiring 70% of the house and re-plumbing the entire house. Basically complete demolition and rebuild of a major part of my home. I am doing all the work myself. All the while working and trying to jive my wife a break from Jasper ( he’s my son). I have gone 2 complete weeks with out even turning on my computer once. Unheard of since 1990. Also. With the stress of the war, I took the wife and son on some short vacations involving peace and music. I am a StormDove you know.

*MSS hands Iwana No a daisy and smiles peacefully*

IN: What are all these things you speak of.

MSS: Talk to me when you reach the industrial age…

IN:….Uhhh Sure whatever.

IN: What were you doing in “Spite and Mailace”

MSS: I had a moment and wondered what is up, so I usually start in the public forums before delving into the team forum. It helps me understand the political climate of the world. Vel made a few points, and the world roared. I am a StormDove and my message is “lets get along and not judge each other”

IN: I see. Do you have any feelings regarding this war?

MSS: I am disappointed that we could not have peace between GoW and GS. The two nations seemed very compatible up to the moment hostilities broke out. Diplomatically speaking GoW was as close to an ally as GS ever had. GoW really did support GS during the Vox peace fiasco. Also, GS and GoW saw eye to eye on many fundamental issues. I guess that is why GoW feels so betrayed by GS actions. I am also surprised at the alliance between GS and RP. You really couldn’t see it coming. Relations were never really that good, but it is a wonderful example of how relationships can change rapidly when two nations agree that they can find some common goal. As for ND, we have always been fairly neutral regarding them. It is always disappointing when things get hostile. I can see why there is so much outrage regarding GS’s involvement, but it is only because GS didn’t choose to stand by and watch RP get carved up by ND and GoW. GS originally had two choices, watch RP get decimated or take part in the decimation and get little in return. Only when RP presented a third option did viable option to become involved existed.

IN: What did you think of the NAP between GS and GoW.

MSS: It was a mistake for both nations. It created a false sense of security for GoW and blemished the honor of GS. It should have never existed. On a three-nation continent, it would appear that we were taking sides. We weren’t. GoW thought we were. I guess that is history.

IN: Well it looks like RL is calling you. Thank you for your time.

MSS: You are welcome. I will come around when I can.

[GhengisFarb™]

S.P.I.N Runs Out of Ink!
Recent article by ManicStarSeed virtually unreadable due to lack of ink making the entire thing print in an extremely light blue. People have been forced to shine a light through the back of the paper and try to read the virtually nonexistant print.

[ManicStarSeed]

S.P.I.N Finds Ink Stash!

Iwana No, interviewer of Manicstarseed has come across a god awful orange ink and recalls previous article and re-issues it using the new orange color.

Iwana commented..."I wanted to capture the peaceful demenor of MSS, but obviously the text of article suffered. I hope the new orange would help bring the text to light. I credit Aeson for stashing such a large supply in the back room and Ghengis for bringing the problem to my attention"

[zeit]

Valencia razed!
SNN* reveals: among the Warmongers military documents left in the ruins were copies of the Luxian Doctrine of War

Valencia ruins, Bob.

What was once the beautiful Spanish town of Valencia, known for its juicy oranges throught the world, now lay in ruins. The small town was destroyed by its former occupiers, the Glory of War (also known as the Northern Barbarians, by the common folk here). This latest occurrence in the grear Bobiab war came after a Stormian army group moved in to dispose the town of its occupiers. Rather expectedly, however, the Glory of War leadership decided to have the city burned, and its defenders ride away from combat. This has left thousands of Spanish refugees without shelter, who are now making their way to the Spanish city of Barcelona.

Juan Guacamole, a former member of the town's council, has commented on recent events:

Mr. Gucamole: The time of Barbarian occupation was not so bad, except for the random execution, arbitrary break-ins into houses, mysterious disappearances of inhabitants, and absolute lack of contact with the outside world, everything else was fine.

SNN reporter: So what you're saying is that it was, in fact, quite horrible?

Mr. Gucamole: OF COURSE IT WAS!!!! What do you think it was like to watch that Giggis roaming around our streets like a frenzied hound, bursting into houses, and chewing our furniture?! Huh, what do YOU think you would have felt?! That was fine Spanish wood I'm talking about...

Anyhow, that's all gone now, and Mr. Guacamole will have to join the last convoy of refugees heading north east along the coast.

We did get to interview Colonel Windbreaker, who was in command of the force who was supposed to liberate the town.

SNN: Col. what was your expectations when you've marched your troops into position before advancing towards the town?

Col.: Well, Ya won't be suprised if I tell Ya there's ain't much I can speak of, but I'll say this: "We didn't come here to sun bath, and my boys and I ain't goin' nowhere, untill we kill us some baddies scum" We were expecting some action.

SNN: Then you where quite dissapointed when you've noticed the enemy forces were running away, were you not?

Col: Hell we were! Like I said, my boys are the best of the best, we'll never run away from combat, cause we're looking for Blood!!!

SNN: Yes, of course, I think we got that by now. Can you tell me, Col.m what was your mission once you've first moved into the town, did your mission become a humanitarian one?

Col.: What ya talkin' 'bout? We moved in, and had Company A through D set up a perimiter, E company took over the mayor's house, and the rest spread out and secured the central buildings.

SNN: But, there where no buildings left, right?

Col.: Of there weren't, that's why we wrapped things up in no-time, and thats why all the soldiers are now back in their tents- I can say this: Those Warmongers sure raze better than they ride, and ride better than they fight!


Among the ruins of what was once the town hall of Valencia, military documents of the Warmongers were found. Most of them were orders coming from central command, such as: Ride, Ride, Pillage, Ride, Raze. And so forth. Some believed this are encrypted messages, but military analysts simply said that this are, in fact, examples of the direct orders of the Warmonger's invading army.
Besides those documents, copies of the Luxian Doctrine of War, written by Trip himself, during the ND-a bit of GoW-Lux war. Military sources say that they believe this doctrine was fondly adopted by the warmongers generals and high command- being relatively 'casualty free' form of war and conquest, it is especially liked by the common soldiers.

"We do hope they are left without any copies of this book after fleeing, said one Stormian general, because chasing their riders can sure get your feet sore".

-SNN, Valenia ruins.

* Stormian News Network

[Beta]

Another World City Razed - Valencia Burns

This picture, smuggled out of the war zone, shows Valencia in flames, as a forlorn Spanish girl watches on.

(in reality - last week in Kelowna, British Columbia, as forest fires threatened the city.)

[Nuclear Winter]

Photos of The Butcher of Bilbao and Valência!

UnOrthOdOx, the madman who has become no1 in the list of fugitives-of-war of the coalition forces yet again flees the GSian army, and while doing so, he commited the terrible atrocity of burning Valencia. This earned him the nickname of Butcher of Bilbao, or Butcher of Valência, and a death threat by at least 50 different spannish lords. This photo is being distributed by the spannish government to all who may want to try and attempt against UnOrthOdOx´s life.

[BigFree]

I knew they were green evil vile creatures, I just thought they had more hair, like growing out of their ears and stuff...

[zeit]

Wanted card deck issued for Stormian and Spanish soldiers

Since seeking combat seems like chasing the rainbow for the troops, the army has issued a new deck of card, also serving as a quick "catch the culprit" reference:





-SNN

[Arnelos]

MASTER ZEN, OTHER WARMONGERS, ANGRY THEY WERE NOT CHOSEN TO BE THE ACE OF SPADES

Word has it that Master Zen was upset that he was not chosen to be the coveted "Ace of Spades" in the GS/Spanish deck of evil cards. Word also has it that GhengisFarb, Panzer32, Donegeal, and Hot_Enamel were also quite distrought to learn that the "less evil" Unorthodox was chosen for the award.

Asked to comment on the issue, they did not offer official comment, but one of SPIN's sources reports that at the latest Warmonger social gathering, Panzer32 was overheard to state that "Queen of diamonds!? QUEEN OF DIAMONDS!?!? Why don't I get any respect? huh?"

When asked about the deck, GS and Spanish sources reported that some Warmongers were simply judged to be more of a threat than others. While certain warmongers, such as GhengisFarb, are certainly very evil, the lack of threat they pose to GS and Spain results in their placement low on the list of wanted criminals.

There are rumors that Master Zen may be contemplating the lodging of a formal complaint against GS and Spain for not making HIM the Ace of Spades, but no official comment has been heard from Master Zen on this matter, it is merely an issue of speculation and rumor.

As for whether GS and Spain would be willing to change the order in which certain warmongers appear in the deck, the organizers declined comment on the issue.

[Master Zen]

MASTER ZEN SUES THE GATHERING STORM AND ROLEPLAY FOR NOT CHOOSING HIM AS ACE OF SPADES

Zenophobia, GoW - Surprised at the inclusion of UnO as the Ace of Spades in the RP/GS most wanted deck of cards, Master Zen sued both enemy countries for not putting his face on that particularly coveted card.

The following is an inteview from SPIN's very own Iwanna No with this known instigator of evil at his castle of darkness at Zenophobia.

----

SPIN: Thank you Master Zen for granting us for this interview. We know you are very busy making evil plans these days.

MZ: Not quite as I would want to. Diplomacy ain't fun when the whole world is at war. Kinda leaves you without a job.

SPIN: So, what does an agent of chaos like you do when there's no diplomacy to conduct?

MZ: Well, if I can't backstab people, then I publically go and piss them off.

SPIN: Ah you mean the incident involving GoW's famous manifesto against the Gathering Storm.

MZ: Yes, that, actually I didn't write it.

SPIN: You didn't?

MZ: Ever hear of Insult Monger, the online insult generator?

SPIN: Wait... the Internet hasn't been invented yet in-game!

MZ: Sh*t. You caught me

SPIN: Ok, anyways, did you use that to write the manifesto?

MZ: You put sharp weapons in a madman's hands.

SPIN: huh?

MZ: The complaints I have heard of you I do not all believe;'tis my slowness that I do not, for I know you lack not folly to commit them and have ability enough to make such knaveries yours.

SPIN: Where did that come from?

MZ: The Shakespearan insult generator, thou damned tripe visaged rascal!

SPIN: Ok, enough of that, let's get on to the real reason for the interview, your suit against Roleplay and GS for not putting you in the Ace of Spades.

MZ: Ah yes, that little oversight. You know, it's one thing we are called agents of chaos, but at least give me the respect I deserve. Who comes up with better evil plans than me? I deserve the Ace of Spades!

SPIN: Do you realize that you're filing a suit against two nations which you are at war with? Isn't it kind of pointless?

MZ: So? It's the thought that counts.

SPIN: Well, aren't you planning on doing something more practical than that?

MZ: Yeah, Zenophobian Printing Ltd. has just come out with a new and improved deck which has me as the Ace of Spades. We are distributing them freely in all conquered lands.

SPIN: Ok, let me get this straight, you are distributing a "most wanted" deck of cards with YOU on the card. Isn't that like the wanted man gluing his poster himself? Plus, it's illegal. Those cards are copyrighted by RP and GS, you can't go out and distribute a rival set. It's breach of the very copyright laws you fought against in GoW's case with OrangeNews.

MZ: Slander, whose edge is sharper than the sword, whose tongue out venoms all the worms of Nile!

SPIN: You know, I doubt SPIN will ever have another interview with you if you continue dishing out randomly-generated Shakesperaean insults...

MZ: Thou wrong'st a gentleman who is as far from thy report as thou from honour.

SPIN: Did you just call me dishonorable?

MZ: Err... I said you, as part of SPIN News Networks, is dishonorable, not you as a person...

SPIN: But if you insult SPIN, you are insulting me too!

MZ: No, you may work for SPIN, but my saying SPIN is dishonorable does not make you so.

SPIN: Bullsh*t!

MZ: Out, you mad headed ape! A weasel hath not such a deal of spleen as you are tossed with!

SPIN: That's it, no more interviews with you again!

MZ: Say wall eyed slave, whither wouldst thou convey this growing image of thy fiend like face!

SPIN: That's it, I'm outta here!

[End of Interview]

[UnOrthOdOx]

UnOrthOdOx sets record strait

In an issued statement to SPIN, Sir UnOrthOdOx made the following announcement:

It has come to my attention that I have now been dubbed the butcher of Valencia and creditted with the destruction of that town.

Fact is, however, as much as I would have liked to been the one to remove that blight from the land, and as much as I support the move, I was occupied with the Red Zealots at the time.

The Red Zealots were a band of Religious Fanatics that were opperating in the mountains west of the Alamo. They fought desperately and honorably, down to the final man. So impressed was I, even, that I left their corpses to rot in the sun without so much as disfiguring them first.

If only one MrWhereItsAt had half their courage, to step out of hiding and face me as a man.

[UnOrthOdOx]

Peek inside SPIN headquarters

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