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The Trappings of War: Volume XV (for real this time)

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  • The Trappings of War: Volume XV (for real this time)

    The Trappings of War: Volume XV
    An UnOrthOdOx view of the Glory of War

    The night passed swiftly after having to explain things to hEtErOdOx. She was understandably not all the pleased with me heading off into trouble yet once again, but she also understood the needs of the nation.

    With the rise of the sun, the city once again came alive. Hordes of people rushed forward to the palace, or rather to a small tent in front of the palace with a large sign hanging over it with the word ‘Election’ in bold type. As I watched as each of the citizens shoved forward in an attempt to voice their opinion on who they felt should lead them into the future, my gut lurched. This is no way to run an empire I thought to myself. It’s sickening! No good could EVER come from this idiotic republic. Perhaps recent events could even help me persuade my fellow kings of this fact and return us to a proper form of government.

    Pushing my way through the crowd I found my way towards the stable, hoping to mount up and be off before I took drastic action with proclaiming an end to the Republic and rallying supporters. “dOx! There you are!” A voice from behind me called out.

    Turning quickly, I spotted Hot Enamel. “Good, good, your heading to the stables, I have something there I need to show you.”

    “What is your opinion of that travesty out there, HE?” I asked

    “Glorious isn’t it? Who would have thought you could motivate peasants so easily by simply telling them they had a choice. It’s not like either candidate will change their lives any!” He burst out laughing.

    He had a point. This was utterly useless! Whether Ghengis or Panzer ended up taking over, nothing would change within the lands of GoW. It was idiotic. Hot Enamel stopped me short of the stable, bidding me to wait while he brought out whatever new toy he had been working on. I sat there fuming over the idiocy that I was seeing when I saw him come from out of the stable with the most massive horse I had ever seen. “By the Hells, what is that beast?”

    “This?” he answered with a grin “This is my new project. This is one of the first, we are just about ready to begin breeding them in masses. However, THIS here is what I am really excited about.”

    “What the hell have you attached to the saddle there? It’s just a step so that a man can climb onto such a massive beast.” I was utterly confused.

    Hot Enamel burst out in a hearty laugh. “You think so? We call these stirrups, and they are quite useful. Hand me your flail, I’ll demonstrate.”

    As I did so, he grabbed hold of the pommel, placed on foot in the ‘stirrup’, and flung himself over the saddle. Taking hold of the flail, he calmly balanced it in his hand then led the horse over to a fence. There he STOOD, yes, stood in the stirrups, allowing him to throw his whole body into the swinging of the flail. Coupled with the great height of the horse, the fence shattered into a thousand pieces. I stood there spellbound, a thousand practical applications of this running through my mind.

    “You see? This is the future of warfare. And, why we need you.”

    “What do I have to do with any of this?” I asked.

    “Well, everyone will soon be figuring out these stirrups, that is a given. Ideas as great as this are never restricted to only one person coming up with them. What our advantage will be is the addition of these mighty horses. They should provide us with the best mobility around just as soon as we can breed enough of them.”

    “Yes, yes, I can see that, but it still does not explain to me what it has to do with me?”

    “We want you to train a regiment of officers.” Seeing the look on my face, he quickly added. “No, no, take them back home, that is fine. Preferable, really. We would like Aro in on this as well. These officers will then come back and train the rest of the troops. The title is just sort of honorary. There should be no need for you to lead armies.”

    I paused for a moment, then answered “Very well, it would do the children of Camulodunum good to see some troops in action. I will train these officers, but nothing more. I am a humble man these days, and no longer long for the action of younger men.”

    “Great! I’ll go tell Ghengis!” And off he went.

    “I knew I could count on you.”

    I knew this voice, but could not place it. Walking towards the stable in search of the voice I sensed movement in the shadows and quickly reached for my mace only to realize Hot Enamel had forgotten to return it. A figure leapt out from the darkness, and my fist caught it full in the chest causing him to sprawl out upon the ground.

    “Damn, ‘dOx. It’s nice to see you haven’t slowed down any, but did you have to hit so damn hard?”

    “Aggie, you old bastard, what are you doing sulking around in the shadows to begin with?” I chuckled as I helped him to his feet.

    Aggie brushed himself off and pulled out a whistle. One sharp blow and I heard the flapping of wings off in the distance behind me. Gazing up into the morning sky I saw an unexpected sight. While Aggie was famous for utilizing hawks and falcons for scouting, he had apparently come up with the same idea as myself. Ravens.

    “By all the Gods! You actually trained that thing? Does it work? Will it pick up trinkets from soldiers? How the hell do you train them to land on your arm again? Can you teach me? What about my son? How many you have?”

    Aggie laughed openly and halted me with a hand. We left to discuss this over dinner, and were mutually surprised that each other had come up with the same ideas. Aggie taught me several of the points of training birds in general and agreed to teach my son during my absence while I left to visit with Gathering Storm. After bidding farewell and seeing my son running off behind Aggie with his Raven on his arm, I mounted up and headed for Port Isolation to find a ferry to the lands of the Storm.

    The road was long and it was well into the night when I arrived in town. I was halted at the gate by the guards.

    “Whom do you serve?”

    “What!? I’m on my way to Gathering Storm at the request of Master Zen.” I anwered.

    “Who’s side are you an ally to? Ghengis, or that treacherous blockhead Panzer?” The guard barked out.

    “What in the name of all that is holy are you talking about? I am here on official business and will serve whoever is elected.” My anger was welling up at this imbecile in front of me. This was the whole point of the election to determine who I served was it not?

    “The election ended in a tie you idiot! The nation is at war between those loyal to Ghengis and those who betray the throne and side with Panzer. Now, who do YOU serve?”

    I had had enough of this lunacy, and whoever stood in my way was about to feel my frustration. I kicked out catching the guard with the heal of my boot and spurred the horse forward through the gates. Behind me I could hear the sound of alarm being raised and I head out towards the port. I could see a ship just arriving. Good, they would know nothing of this idiocy either. As I raced out towards the harbor I was knocking over people as they stumbled from their homes. My timing could not have been better and I caught the Galley just as it had reach dock and before it had a chance to tie up. I road on with my horse and quickly dismounted ordering them to shove off immediately then grabbed my flail and rushed back towards what few guards were approaching.

    We needed a diversion lest the galley be picked apart by arrows. Looking around, I saw the bonfire at the center of the town, and grabbed a torch quickly lighting it and tossing it onto a local home. It was crude. Even cruel. It would have to work, though. With the house alight, and the flames threatening the rest of the city, I turned back and raced down the beach in pursuit of the galley.

    It was quite some distance down the shoreline that I finally caught up to it and bid it to come ashore. As I boarded, exhausted, I explained the situation to the Captain and we set sail for Gathering Storm.

    With the sun now rising in the sky, I watched as it glinted off the crashing waves and silently wondered what awaited me in that mysterious land, knowing full well even Aro’s maps had yet to reach that far.
    One who has a surplus of the unorthodox shall attain surpassing victories. - Sun Pin
    You're wierd. - Krill

    An UnOrthOdOx Hobby

  • #2
    UnO.

    The Storm will welcome you... provided you don't come with an "escort" like GoW's prior mission to our shores.

    -Arrian, Co-General of the Armies of the Gathering Storm
    grog want tank...Grog Want Tank... GROG WANT TANK!

    The trick isn't to break some eggs to make an omelette, it's convincing the eggs to break themselves in order to aspire to omelettehood.

    Comment


    • #3
      We look forward to providing you with hospitality as you tour our island.

      - Shiber, Director of Kitchen Operations
      "Close your eyes, for your eyes will only tell the truth,
      And the truth isn't what you want to see,
      Close your eyes, and let music set you free..."
      - Phantom of the Opera

      Comment


      • #4
        Which side ARE you on, UnOrthO?

        Comment


        • #5
          Im for abolishing this republic nonsense and give us Kings back control by divine providence, the way it was intended to be from the start!
          One who has a surplus of the unorthodox shall attain surpassing victories. - Sun Pin
          You're wierd. - Krill

          An UnOrthOdOx Hobby

          Comment


          • #6
            hmm, double post bug.

            See? This is what awaits us by allowing peasants to vote!

            Nonsense I tell you!!!
            One who has a surplus of the unorthodox shall attain surpassing victories. - Sun Pin
            You're wierd. - Krill

            An UnOrthOdOx Hobby

            Comment


            • #7
              What bothers me the most right now is why the RoN MP civgroup icon is so damn ugly.
              "Close your eyes, for your eyes will only tell the truth,
              And the truth isn't what you want to see,
              Close your eyes, and let music set you free..."
              - Phantom of the Opera

              Comment


              • #8
                treacherous blockhead Panzer?” The guard barked out
                You know, you may not realize, but in Legolish calling someone a "blockhead" is a sign of high respect. Charlie Brown would have done well as a Legoman...
                I make movies. Come check 'em out.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by Shiber
                  What bothers me the most right now is why the RoN MP civgroup icon is so damn ugly.
                  Because Uber made it.
                  One who has a surplus of the unorthodox shall attain surpassing victories. - Sun Pin
                  You're wierd. - Krill

                  An UnOrthOdOx Hobby

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Ahh... that explains it.
                    That damn UberKruX!!
                    "Close your eyes, for your eyes will only tell the truth,
                    And the truth isn't what you want to see,
                    Close your eyes, and let music set you free..."
                    - Phantom of the Opera

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Whether Ghengis or Panzer ended up taking over, nothing would change within the lands of GoW.


                      Thats what you think!
                      Proud Member of the ISDG Apolyton Team; Member #2 in the Apolyton Yact Club.
                      King of Trafalgar and Lord of all Isolationia in the Civ III PTW Glory of War team.
                      ---------
                      May God Bless.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Should we be concerned?

                        Signed,
                        Your loving neighbors to the south.
                        If you're interested in participating in the first Civ 5 Community Game then please visit: http://www.weplayciv.com/forums/forum.php

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