Barbarians at the Gate

[snoopy369]

Someone spend a bit too much time watching Conan reruns?

[1889]

Sounds more like someone stays up too late watching cartoons.

"This reminds me of a long and boring story..."
- Turkatron

[Rommel2D]

Spoken like a person with a tasteless avatar...

What's the name of the robot from the Santa episode? The whole Danzig/elf blood spiel was some of the funniest stuff I've ever seen...

[1889]

cybernetic ghost of christmas past...from the future

Originally posted by Rommel2D
Spoken like a person with a tasteless avatar...

What's the name of the robot from the Santa episode? The whole Danzig/elf blood spiel was some of the funniest stuff I've ever seen...

***
Cybernetic Ghost: Thousands of years ago, before the dawn of man as we knew him, there was Sir Santa of Claus: an ape-like creature making crude and pointless toys out of dino-bones and his own waste, hurling them at chimp-like creatures with crinkled hands regardless of how they behaved the previous year. These so-called "toys" were buried as witches, and defecated upon, and hurled at predators who were awoken by the searing grunts of children. It wasn't a holly jolly Christmas that year; for many were killed!
Meatwad: Boy, this IS a long story you know...maybe I WILL go get somethin' to eat.
Carl: Yeah, I think I'm gonna get drunk while I listen to ya.

***
Carl: Now just hang on a sec, okay.
Cybernetic Ghost: Sure
Carl: You're the ghost of Christmas Past, right
Cybernetic Ghost: That is CORRECT.
Carl: Okay well... I mean you know that it's February... right?
Cybernetic Ghost: (Pause) I am a robot.

***
Cybernetic Ghost: Thousands of years ago...
Frylock: No, shut up! You still haven't explained why the pool is filled with elf blood!
Cybernetic Ghost: I told you earlier, it was the Great Circuiting.
Frylock: You didn't mention no Great Circuiting!
Cybernetic Ghost: Oh, I didn't? (Pause) Thousands of years ago...

***
Frylock: Wait, who unionized?
Cybernetic Ghost: Wouldn't you like to know? Probably your mama!

[punkbass2000]

[Rommel2D]

Carl: Something's wrong with my roof, isn't it? What, the robots on my roof, right? He's ripping up my shingles, what?
Shake: Carl, just relax. Listen, this is TOTALLY not a big deal. (Carl's swimming pool is filled with blood)
Carl: This IS a big deal! It's a VERY big deal! What is this?
Shake: Look, at first I thought this was that stuff that turns red when you pee in it, because I've had to pee here a number of times, but look at it, Carl. That's blood, my friend.
Carl: It's like someone wrang out a herd of cows though a juicer or something.
Frylock: (Using his Frydar) This is not cow blood, Carl. This is...elfin blood.
Carl: Who would do something like this to me?
Robot: I don't know, maybe...oh wait. I did it.
Frylock: So why did you fill Carl's pool with blood?
Robot: Well, this is going to take a long time, so you may want to get some snacks.

***
Robot: You don't believe?
Frylock: Believe what? That you're a ghost and Santa Claus is an ape? That's the most ridiculous--
Robot: WAS an ape. Now he is a MACHINE.
Meatwad: I left cookies and a glass of milk for a MACHINE?
Robot: No, man, he's an ape. I mean, NO, he is a machine. You are trying to mess me up on purpose.
Frylock: But I thought everyone back then was undeveloped, couldn't make machines with their crinkled hands.
Robot: But the elves came from the Red Planet. There was much defecation.
Frylock: Yeah, yeah, you mentioned that. How long ago did you say this was?
Robot: [fog]THOUSANDS OF YEARS AGO--

***
Carl: (showing someone around the house) So, it's a full, you know, full 3/2. We got good schools here. You got the bonus room there with the...
Robot: We travel to Mexico tomorrow.
Carl: ...with the shrieking robot, and there he is, and in the summertime you got this. (Shows him the pool)
Man: I got a question. How long does this blood last?
Carl: I don't know. Let me talk to my blood guy here.
Robot: The elfin blood will flow forever for eternity from the elfin graves, forever.
Man: This is @#$%& great. I'm gonna line this thing with gargoyles for the sacrifices.
Carl: What's your name again?
Man: Danzig, mother@#$%^&
Carl: Huh.
Danzig: Now, uh, is there a way to get the blood to flow up the walls?
Robot: I don't see why not.
Carl: That's good right? Going up a wall? That's elf blood too. That's not cheap, you know.

***
Danzig: Now look. Listen to me as hard as you @#$%& can. That @#$%& robot came with the @#$%& house, and now he's #$%& gone. If you see that mother@#$%&...
Shake: We'll tell him.
Danzig: You @#$%& better, cuz if I find out he's over here, I'm gonna be eating my cereal out of the bottom of your @#$%& skull...
Shake: Okay, so, thank you...
Meatwad: Alright, man, you can come out now. He's gone.
Robot: I cannot live with that guy. He is so annoying, he is so frightening, and he doesn't wear a shirt.

[Paddy]

well indeed

[Beta]

Save to Ms. M.

[Beta]

Good stuff guys.

Happy New year all.

[Aqualung71]

to Punkbass

[punkbass2000]

Went Moe's way an hour or so ago.

[Modo44]

3700 BC to Paddy.

[Paddy]

3700bc to 1889

[1889]

3700 to Snoopy.

You know this game really isn't that slow. If you were to erase the month of December from your memory you'd think we were trucking right along for an 8 player game. In fact something will happen for me in only 2 more turns and we'll see who's laughing then.

[snoopy369]

2 more turns, eh? at 3600 BC? What, you going to take someone out of the game?